The dog decided to get up in the middle of the night and christen
the carpeting with three piles of vomit. I wasn’t particularly worried about
his health because Levi has always had a touchy stomach. A couple of days of me
making him scrambled eggs and rice usually puts him back on track. And his
vomit episodes turn me into the queen of getting yellow stomach acids out of
light gray Berber carpeting. I could do a commercial for Resolve High Traffic
Carpet Cleaning Foam. Day one I follow the directions on the can but I leave
the can sitting next to the spot. Day Two I wait for the sun to pass over the
spot so I can look for a telltale ring. If I can see one I repeat Day One. This
time, because Levi upchucked hours before I found it, I had to add a Day Three
and it took an entire roll of paper towel to blot up the rise cycles before I
was satisfied the spots were gone. It’s a good thing dogs are so lovable
because spot patrol days test my patience as I waffle between being glad Levi
didn’t end up in animal ER and wanting to kill him for something he can’t help
and finds embarrassing to look at.
On day three of eggs and rice Levi wanted nothing more to do
with that sick puppy menu and he demanded his regular fare back again. That dog
is a popinjay and there’s no mistaking his message when he’s barking in front
of his plastic bin of kibble. As I fixed him a bowl, I apologized because that’s
when I realized that I was probably responsible for him being sick in the first
place. I had mistakenly toppled his last bowl of kibble with 3-4 inches
of doggie tooth paste instead of dog food enhancement. I had recently moved the
doggie tooth paste to a new location which obviously was an ill-fated idea that came
straight out of a box of rocks. Both are the same shaped tube, both mixed in the
same way and Levi likes the peanut butter flavored tooth paste. I thought about
punishing myself by eating a couple of inches of Colgate Whitening Toothpaste for
people but I was afraid if I upchucked it I’d have to go through Day One
through Three of Resolve High Traffic Carpet Cleaning Foam again and who wants
to do that twice in the same week?
Day Three was sunny and beautiful, especially for January in
Michigan, so off I went to the pet store to see what they had in new foods for
dogs with touchy stomachs. (Ya, I know, putting my glasses on at feeding time
might cure some of his issues but don’t spread that around, okay?) I couldn’t
believe all the gluten-free, grain-free products at Chow Hound! But they didn’t
have any sample bags for sale like they often do and I wasn’t about to buy ten
pounds of stuff that Levi may or may not turn his nose up at. So I got him some
more food enhancer only this time I got a brand that didn’t come in
a toothpaste shaded tube. Now I have to worry about getting his doggie
broth mixed up with my Swanson’s chicken broth when I make soup! Same box,
different labels.
After leaving the pet store I sat in the car trying to
decide where to have lunch. I was parked in the Bermuda Triangle of Restaurants.
Across the street was a local chain that I’ve been going to since before Levi
and his predecessor were born. It’s a sit-down place that reminds me of Cheers, the old TV sitcom but no one
ever knows my name. I like to go there when I’m feeling widow-strong and independent,
like I could belt out “I am Woman!” at the top of my lungs. Straight ahead was
Starbucks where I knew I could collect an extra ten points for ordering a Gouda
and Bacon Breakfast sandwich. Ten points gets me that much closer to earning a
free lunch. I like going there when I feel like showing the young’uns
that I can do something they can’t---write in cursive. I could take my new
Kindle Fire and use the ‘OneNote’ app to take notes and I'd blend in with all the others using devices but my 3 ½"
x 4 ½" notebook and pen makes me feel like a sly spy as I make up back stories for my fellow coffee drinkers.
The Guy Land Cafeteria was also close by and that’s where I
ended up. I ordered their new Canadian Bacon Club Pita because after eating
their tuna melts on rye for the past twenty-five years I was ready to put some
adventure in my life. I sat down at a booth, dug out my notebook and pen, ready
to record my adventures in Vomit Land and whatever else came into view. That’s
when I noticed a woman I’ve seen there many times in the past. She’s around my
age, always sits at a table where there’s a wall plug and I’ve
never seen her with food or dishes on the table. She charges her phone while working on an adult coloring
book. It was two in the afternoon and to the right of me was a set of grandparents
with a pre-schooler who was still wearing his Spiderman pajamas. I was
jealous! Why do I have to get dressed to go out for lunch? And
why can’t I bring Levi to restaurants? He certainly eats neater than that
little boy did. He was having fun with gravity while his grandparents ignored his game. When they left the floor needed a treatment with Resolve High Traffic Carpet
Cleaning Foam. ©
