Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Reading and Wall Washing

 I admit that I’ve spent the pandemic reading a lot of trashy books. With Kindle’s free Unlimited you can get a vast range of---shall we say---writing skills. Some books are just too stupid for words yet they have no trouble stringing a bunch of them together and calling them a book. I never write reviews of those too-stupid-for-words books because I’m quite sure if I’d been born a few decades later than I was some of those hardcopy manuscripts I had stored in the basement and I finally downsized out of my life last summer would have made their way to a self-published book on Amazon Unlimited where no one apparently proof-reads them or edits the content for quality. It takes enormous dedication and guts to get a book written and I'm not about to step on someone else's dream and, yes, I'm one of those people who thinks every little kid deserves a participation ribbon. Time to sort out the winners from the losers when kids are old enough to figure out what they enjoy doing. I sound like my mother. "I don't care what after school class you take, but you WILL keep taking classes until you find something you like doing." She didn't actually say those words but when I was an adult it's what she told me when I asked why she turned me into class-aholic and herself into a chauffeur.

I’ve read that real publishing companies routinely comb the stats at Amazon looking for those writers who know how to promote the heck out of their work and have parlayed themselves into great sales with a track record of favorable reader reviews. Those who can do that eventually land themselves honest-to-goodness book deals. The author of Fifty Shades of Grey comes to mind---barfing my breakfast up on that one---and Andy Weir who wrote one of my all-time favorite books, The Martian, are two examples. The latter of which I read free on Amazon before he made it big and his book was turned into a movie.

Another example of someone who was discovered through Amazon Unlimited was Mike Omer and his mystery, A Killer’s Mind that outsold J.K. Rowling, James Patterson, and Stephen King one summer. Some others who started out as self-published and made it big include: Christopher Paolini (Inheritance Cycle), Lisa Genova (Still Alice) and Amanda Hocking (My Blood Approves). So even though reading Amazon Unlimited books can be a hit and miss thing you can still find some thought provoking stuff. Not so much in the romance genre where I tend to hang out but I’ve come to the conclusion that the genre makes sense for me. 1) I was so boy crazy as a teenager I can hardly stand looking back at those embarrassing years. 2) People watching has long been a favorite hobby of mine and living vicariously through the pages of a book where people fall in love puts me in a better mood than reading a thriller, for example, where I start looking at others as a possible threat to home and body. I admire Stephen King, practically worship his writing prowess but I can't sleep nights with one of his books in bed with me.

Nope, if the pandemic has done anything for me it’s made me come out of the reading closet, no long hiding or being ashamed my preferred reading genre. The last romance I read, for example, was a weirdly engaging book about a famous artist who lost his sight for a year due to a car accident and then he gets eye transplants of eyes from a photographer who was once engaged to a woman the artist couldn’t stop thinking about after they met and who he couldn't stop painting before they met. The whole premise of the story line was that our eyes are the windows to our souls and the soul remembers... Oops, sorry about the spoiler but I doubt anyone reading this will pop over to Amazon to find The Girl in the Painting. And if the title sound familiar it's because I shared a quote from it in my last blog. “She is the red string on my finger. I can’t forget her.”

Change of topics: The project I’m doing this week around the house involves working my way toward staging my house. My library room that used to have two walls lined with book shelves and hundreds of books now has only one wall of empty shelves and the sleeper chair that was sharing a room with my artist easel and arty-farty supplies got moved to my library that is now rebranded as an office/guest room. The son-I-wish-I-had came over to help me move the furniture around including moving an antique Morris chair patent dated in the 1800s and monster size showcase with four sides of glass. They went out to the garage where I’ll try to sell them in the spring. We agreed that transporting the showcase in the winter would be a major problem for a buyer, so there's no point advertising it now. I’ve been busy washing the walls in those two rooms and spreading the art stuff out to take over the whole space. I finished the "room swap/rebranding project" and the photo at the top of my sleeper chair corner in one room and the photo at the bottom is of one end of the other room I call my art room. I'm really proud of those clean walls! And in case you're wondering why I don't have my window blind pulled all the way down  in the office/guest room it's because that's my dog's window to the world of other canines.

As for me at my age washing walls, I’ve got a special mop with a round head that I use exclusively for washing walls which means I don’t have to get on ladders. Next week, though, I have someone coming out to give me a price on washing the walls in my living room and adjoining dining area. Those walls are too high for my mop and I have too many heavy pieces of art hung for me to wrestle them off and back on the walls. While he was here, the-son-I-wish-I-had and I went over the master plan of what all has to be done to get ready before the house goes up for sale. My 'To Do' list is getting shorter and most of it involves stuff that can't be done until spring or can't be done without some help from others. I'll get there but I'm getting sick of making decisions. Like what color to paint my deck furniture that Tim took with him when he left and dropped off to a body shop where it will get sandblasted and painted with car paint that will outlast me. The vintage chair, side table and foot stool will only cost me $150 to paint and if I had to buy new deck stuff I'd spend that much if not more. But I'm so worn out from decisions and I sometimes need to remind myself why I'm going through all the trouble. Monday, though, it will start feeling real. I have an appointment to go to the construction site where I'll actually get my first look inside my unit. ©

This is the chair that's getting painted "Liquid Jade" (see color chip below). It's a really comfortable chair---rocks a little, the wire mess makes it cool to sit in and the arms make it easy to get out of. The deck siding the chair will go against is a dark gray and I'll get a colorful outdoor rug for the space.

 



This is one end of my art room. I think people will be able to visualize it as a bedroom now.

Since a few people asked, this is my mop... I call it a round headed mop but it really isn't. There's a pump action part on the handle that moves those two rollers down to squeak out the water.


44 comments:

  1. Oh, Lord, I get tired just reading about all you are doing, and still have left to do. I'm glad you'll have a chance to see your new home. That should help a lot. šŸŒ¹

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    1. Both excited and scared to see it. It will answer a lot of questions but I might not like the answers. I can still back out at any time up until it's ready to move into.

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  2. How great that you can actually step inside where you will be living. Looking forward to that report. We had a wall heater cover repainted the same way and it came out marvelously. I expect you will be very happy with the result. You are getting near the finish line so no wonder you are tired of making decisions.

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    1. I've seen some of the deck furniture the body shop has done and it looks great. I wish I'd done it a long time ago. Spray painting that chair was always a tough job for me and now it will never have to be done again.

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  3. I’ve never heard of washing walls unless children colored on them or something fell on them that discolored them. But then again, cleaning is not my favorite thing.šŸ˜Š

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    1. Wow, maybe it's a regional or generational thing. From the time I was old enough to help my mom until my husband had his stroke and I got too busy, wall washing was an annual thing every spring. I think it was a throw-back to when people used to used coal to heat. Even after his stroke I still managed wall washing every three years. It makes a huge difference in the way a room smells and it brighten up the walls. I think a lot of younger people just paint instead.

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    2. Not every spring, for sure, but I do believe in washing walls. At younger ages, I did it every couple of years, or whenever we moved - whichever occurred sooner - but, then, in those days my husband smoked. I washed walls, I washed curtains and drapes, I washed window shades and woodwork and the hardware that hung shades, curtains, and drapes, not to mention the ceilings. It was exhausting. Fortunately, the majority of our family (the smokers) got wise and quit. It certainly makes life more pleasant for us non-smokers.

      Yes, I remember washing the outsides of houses to rid them of coal smoke from the railroad steam engines that chugged by, one block down the street; so, that part would have been generational. (I am in the Silent, or Beat, Generation.)

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    3. My dad smoked when I was growing up and my husband for ten years after we met. Wall washing makes a HUGE difference when you have a smoker in the house. Times are different with both people in a couple generally working outside the some. They just don't have the time to do the deep cleaning like women did back in the day.

      The outside of my house is getting power washed in the spring. I don't live near a railroad track but I'm always surprised at how dirty siding gets. But I've only had it cleaned every 4-5 years.

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    4. I think that all of that washing was my occupational therapy - something I did on weekends, mostly. I would have been too tired to do it at night after a day at work. Usually, I did one room per month.

      It was a pleasure during my late 30s to early 50s, to not have to do so much washing. I lived alone during that period. By the time my husband and I got back together, he had quit smoking - a necessary condition for our reunion.

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    5. Can you imagine what the inside of a smoker's lungs look! All that smoke on the walls when scrubbed off sure made a lot of difference didn't it.

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    6. Cop Car: There are plenty of services that power wash houses so it's still a think, but I suspect mostly people wash the outsides to either get ready to paint it or sell it.

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  4. You are in the spot we were in last year at this time. It's stressful, but it will all be worth it. Seeing your new place will be exciting! I love that part of the process.

    Last week I went through my journals just to confirm that I uniformly hate January - the cold, dark, endless month of January. Yup. But last year at this time I was TOTALLY stressed over so many things. I wish for you that next January you are settled and more relaxed and happy to be in a new home. It will happen. (And that we are back to some semblance of normal in society. Covid has made me hate January even more...ha!)

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    1. I hope it will be a exciting day, to see inside the construction. I want to see what the views are from the windows and the amount of natural light that comes in which will both make a great deal of difference in the quality of my new life.

      Me too your hope for a year from now! At least we haven't had a lot of snow this season, but I hope that doesn't result in us getting a late spring. I've gotta quit buying worry from the future.

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    2. Windows are so important. Good luck on the natural lighting - I hope you are pleased with what you get.

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  5. Well, your home will be lovely and sparkling when you go to sell it! Good idea to take the time now to "stage" each room.
    It is exciting to get into your new place. You can start picturing what will go where. Could be fun!
    I love the color you have chosen for your deck chair. It will look perfect and will be a nice place to relax outside.
    Good luck with all of your projects!

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    1. I've even packed my first two boxes for the move, even though it's far off. The decorative stuff you don't want out for a showing from those two clean rooms. It will be like opening Christmas gifts when I see them again.

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  6. Mercy, I need a rest just reading. You have convinced me to never sell. Just leave a pan of grease on an open flame on the stove and go shopping. Of course now that I have put that out there, if my house accidentally burns down, my new accommodations will be about 8 by 8 with bars for windows:))

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    1. LOL A woman from the senior hall lost her house in fire, the whole thing and all she walked away with was her Bible. She said it was a relief and she got a brand new house out of it. She said she didn't miss a thing in it.

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  7. Mike Omer is a regular read round here. Anne Fraser too and Daniel Girard. What would I do without KU. Your energy level is astounding sometimes. These days the leg makes me do seated aerobics and work on the household stuff for 15 minutes every hour or so.

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    1. I don't have the energy you do with your crafting and socializing! I want to be like you in those departments next year. I was washing a one wall at a time, then sit awhile, then another wall followed by another session in a chair. Two rooms took two days.

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  8. That is so much work clearing, cleaning and then selling a house. I like your mesh chair, it looks very comfortable, and that is nice how you are having your patio furniture painted. As a senior citizen who loves reading, I only read books that resonate with me. Time is limited for us all so I want to read the best! The best in my opinion, ha ha.

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    1. I was lamenting having to give up this chair to move because with spraying it has to be done every 3 years to keep it looking nice and there's no way to do that in an apartment-like building. Tim suggests the car body paint. which will probably outlast me.

      There is a book out there for everyone, no matter our tastes. I used to always finish books but I'm getting better at abandoning them if they don't grab me by 1/3 of the way through.

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  9. I helped wash walls when I was living at home as they were smokers. But rarely since. Kitchen walls if I was going to paint although I was lucky enough to hire painters and they always washed the walls first.

    I love the outdoor furniture COLOR! And comfort is the key.

    I can't wait to get your comments about your first foray into New Home! Take lots of photos along with note book and measuring tape. So exciting to watch you in progress!

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    1. I've never had a painter wash walls before they paint but then I've hired two in my life. Makes sense, though. My husband had a four family apartment building for several decades and I've washed a LOT of walls there and painted Lots of walls, too. I did the trim and Don did the rolling. Sometimes washing and touch ups were all we needed.

      I lighter version of that color is my accent color through out the unit. I hope I like it.

      I'm not sure I'll be able to take measurements. Four of us future owners will be touring in the same time slot appointment. We're all on the same end of the building. My unit doesn't have the sheet rock up yet---just the studs but I'll be looking at that and another unit with the same footprint as mine that does have the sheet rock up. Because it's still a construction zone with workers working we won't be able to wander.

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  10. You should feel good about your progress. Washing walls...not my favorite thing to do, so I'm going to look for that round headed mop you described. I'm at an age where I really don't like getting up and down a ladder or step stool any more than I absolutely have to. Love the Liquid Jade color.

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    1. I just put a photo of the mop head up above, It's not really round but it's not flat either.

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  11. I agree with you about reading matter; in fact, I was going to compose a post on shameless indulgence in the very lightest books, the kind that invariably end in a happy ending. Why should we be embarassed about it? Life is hard enough anyway, without making it harder for ourselves by reading serious books. I’ll read them again when freedom from worry returns.

    Wall washing? Hm, not my idea of fun.

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    1. I've always been embarrassed to admit how deeply rooted my reading choices are in the romance genre. It makes no sense because my mom---when she was alive---and one of my niece's reads historical romances which I was stuck in for a decade or more before I went over to historical. I do read heavier stuff, too, at least I did before the pandemic, but now I really need the happy endings.

      Looking forward to your book post!

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  12. Reading this reminded me I need to borrow another book from the library

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  13. First, I once had lunch in Vegas at a Casino Restaurant and sitting at the Table beside us was Stephen King, I could hardly contain myself, he realized I knew who he was, but I was Polite and just Smiled, he Smiled back, I'm sure he appreciated me pretending it was no Big Deal. *LOL* Second, I Love the Color you're painting your Patio Furniture. Third, you're supposed to Wash Walls? Who knew... *Winks* Got some terrible news Today... took me all day to gird myself to even be able to Blog about it.

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    1. I'll bet your physical appearance and demeanor has shown up in one of King's books. I'm sure he appreciated you pretending it was no Big Deal even though it was a BIG DEAL. Lucky lady.

      Okay, so now I'm afraid to go read your blog.

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  14. When I was a child we ALWAYS washed the walls once a year. I hated doing it, but that was of no matter to my mother. Now as an adult, with a much better HVAC system, I don't wash the walls. Let them be, I say.

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    1. Walls do absorb odors. Hating and air filter systems do make a difference. Years ago people had their windows open more often in the summers and walls got dustier. The walls in those two rooms haven't been painted in 18 years but have been washed a few times. I can really see and smell the difference. So it was worth the effort.

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  15. Decision fatigue is such a big part of moving and one that doesn't get talked about...at least to my knowledge. The physical fatigue is not to be scoffed at either, but at least a good night's rest can usually take care of that. I was unprepared for the fatigue that came with all the decisions to be made: mostly before but even some after the move.

    Deb

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    1. Thanks for posting this. The fatigue of second guessing every items we own and rating our attachment to that stuff is tiring! Then comes weighing need vs want to keep which I really struggle with. I just finished packing up 20-something women's history books off the shelves I already purged down to what I thought was my keepers. Tomorrow I'm going to be near the only library that is still taking donations due to the Covid virus. I only held back 3 woman's history books that I think will go for over $50 each on e-Bay and a forth one to keep as my visual clue to my past life's reading interest...if that makes any sense. Ya, I'm over thinking my move, aren't I. LOL

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  16. It's really fun to see your space (and interesting mop!) Well done. I may know someone who might be interested in your Morris. Maybe not. Does it have a provenance, maker label? Richard collects Mission furniture and I think the date predates that style so maybe not his thing. Or a photo. Let me know!

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    1. I just did a search at Amazon using the term 'sponge mop for walls' and found several mops that look very simpler. The important thing is not to have a squeak part that would drag on the wall and damage the paint.

      Actually I should have said my chair is a Morris-like chair. It's actually an unmarked 'Royal Easy Chair' with the patent date embossed in the metal under carriage. It's got 7 settings to recline the back. If your friend knows the Morris he's probably also run across the Royal. The Royal chairs were made in MI. I'll email you a photo, not Mission but interesting none the less.

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  17. Love to hear that your "selling to do list" is becoming less of a hassle for you and that Tim is making sure you get the best about everything...

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  18. I like the colour you picked for your outdoor furniture. It's quite pretty and not too brazen.

    Isn't it surprising how much better your home feels after the walls have been washed? I do it in the late spring when I can have all the windows open so they dry quickly. I just feel better and lighter and the house feels so much fresher.

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    1. I'd usually wait until spring for wall washing and cleaning entire rooms from furniture to window coverings and floors. But I have so much other stuff to do when nice weather hits that I didn't thing it would make that much difference.

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  19. Did you know that Stacey Abrams writes romances? I imagine none of the heroines would have political views that make you crazy! BTW, I think liquid jade is a lovely color.

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    1. No I didn't! Is there anything that woman can't do! I'm sure her heroines would be all about empowerment and equal partnerships.

      For anyone else who might be interested she writes romance under the pen name of Selena Montgomery. She's also written several non-fiction under her own name as well, according to her Amazon page. Love that woman.

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