Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

The Condition of your Bed is the Condition of your Head

God, I don’t know where to start this post. All areas of my life and the world at large are in turmoil. My clothes dried chose this past weekend to quit working, my house is a major mess because before all hell broke loose in D.C. I had decided to make a major push to get some odds and ends listed on e-Bay which is a long process of cleaning, photographing, writing up listings, packing stuff for shipping and finally uploading the photos and descriptions to e-Bay. I had four rooms set up for staging this process. Turns out I was thankful I had that stuff to do so I wasn’t tempted to crazy-glue my butt down in front of the TV watching the ugliness unfold. I still had the TV on because I’ve always believed that it is my duty as an American to bear witness to the major events of living history that have the power to change the trajectory of our nation. If people can personally experience those events like 9-11 or insurrectionists storming the Capital I can at least watch them unfold from the comfort of my own home. But I don't want to write about the Demigod in the White House and his disgusting supporters; I did that in my last post. This post is about my personal mayhem.

My bed hasn’t been made all week and to quote one of my favorite blogger friends, Dawn at Bohemian Valhalla, “The condition of your Bed is the condition of your Head.” Like I told her, “I admit to being a person who is bi-polar with bed making. I go in streaks that last a week or two. Right now I'm in the not making it cycle.” What I didn’t tell her is that when I’m in the oppose cycle I’ve been known to start making one side of my bed while still in it in the morning. It’s a talent, trust me. When it comes to Dawn’s theory of the head-bed connection I don’t know what she thinks comes-first-the-chicken-or-the egg but I decided if making my bed could help my scattered frame of mind it was worth trying.

I stripped my sheets off, threw them in the washer and it was when I moved them to the dryer that I found out that my dryer didn’t work. Ohmygod, what message do you think the universe was sending me!? I’m one of those persons who washes my bedding and puts the same set back on. I didn’t remember where my backup set was because I’ve been cleaning and reorganizing closets. And what do you do with a washer full of wet sheets on a Sunday when you can’t get a repair person out? The first thing I did was search my pantry for a non-existent bag of cookies or something else that would put me on a sugar binge. Damn January diet plan had me coming up empty. Somewhere along my mini meltdown I had a few choice words for Dawn for putting the notion in my head about the state of my bed has something to do with the state of my brain. (Just kidding, Dawn. I still love you.) Seriously, though, I haven’t seen a laundromat in years although I still have roll of quarters that I’ve been hoarding for twenty years when I used to go to one. A lot of good that would do me now because I hear tell the prices as gone up a tad since then.

So what's the second thing a woman does on a Sunday morning after learning that she’ll have to find a dryer repair person next week? She goes out to the street to bring in the Sunday paper. But for the first time since she’s been getting the Sunday paper---a tradition passed down from her father---she discovered that the front section was missing. And since she’s one of only two people who gets the paper on the cul-de-sac she couldn’t help thinking someone stole the front section out of her mailbox. It probably had a lot of coverage of the brutal insurrection at the Capital. Since she was planning to cancel her subscription the next time it was due it really didn’t matter, but can anyone tell me why, in this paragraph, I started talking about myself in the third person? Is that weird or what!

By Monday morning I had read trouble-shooting stuff online and managed to fix my dryer woes. It’s a newer model, the kind with a computerized motherboard and like other computers, I had to cut the power off and turned it back on, which meant I had to do it at my circuit breaker since I couldn’t access the plug on the wall behind the washer and dryer. I let it sit for six whole hours, just to make sure its computer had plenty of time to do whatever it does to reformat itself back to factory settings. I held my breath when I finally pushed the button and found the dryer working again! Tech warrior at your service.

I felt like a tech warrior last week too because I also repaired my laptop computer after the mouse drivers got knocked out. I have to reinstall my printer drivers on my desktop fairly often so it wasn’t a big deal, but for some reason the new drivers reversed the mouse’s right/left functions. Talk about buying me a ticket on the Crazy Train, that sure did and it took me two days to figure what was causing my computer to act like an over-caffeinated, sleep deprived mother of three screaming toddlers. (Or maybe it was me acting like an over-caffeinated, sleep deprived mother of three screaming toddlers.) Either way, it was a simple fix once I identified the problem. Now I ask you---Dawn---if my brain was as messy as my bed would I have been able to be my own tech warrior? Now, if I could only figure out why my Kindle books quit syncing across all my devices I'd earn another bead for my tech warrior vest which reminds me that I sold my box of Camp Fire merit beads last summer. Boohoo, I didn't want to do it. ©

Photo Note: Painting by Patricia Larkin 

P.S. On Wednesday the front section of the Sunday paper showed up in my mailbox with no indication that it was printed late. Which ever neighbor "borrowed it" was nice enough to return it. LOL  

33 comments:

  1. I'm impressed you fixed your dryer. Good going!

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    1. Can you imagine how many people pay big service call prices to have them just turn dryers off and back on again.

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    2. Yes, from having called out a repairman many years ago to reverse the needle in my sewing machine, I can! a tech guy told me years ago that turning off a computer (or unplugging) cures 75% of problems and that's been my experience. So glad it worked for your dryer!

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  2. Every time I hear a mention of Camp Fire beads, I want mine back again. I have no idea why I sold them. If nothing else, I could have cut them off that blue vest and kept them in a jar. Ah, well.

    I laughed at your newspaper story. Some weeks ago, I got a notice that a DVD I'd ordered had been delivered to my Amazon locker. I was out of town, so my manager said she'd get it for me. When she went to collect it, it wasn't there. Amazon had no record of it, etc. I figured it had disappeared in the pre-holiday rush and confusion. I'd only paid about $5 for it, so I just let it go. A few days ago, it appeared, propped up against my front door. Who knows? There are mysteries in this life!

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    1. I keep thinking I still have my Camp fire vest with the beads around here but I only have one small chest left it could still be. I probably e-Bayed it though. My mom was a leader and the box of beads I had were left over from her supply. I wish I'd thought to put them in a jar.

      Love your 'roam DVD' story! Maybe it got delivered to the wrong locker and that person was out of town until now?

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  3. I make my bed every morning, like clockwork, as they say. Even if I have a banger of a migraine. I like having things--everywhere--neat, tidy, and uncluttered.

    I love Dawn's saying, and I would add that if you switched "desk" for "bed", it probably would be applicable, too. When I was teaching, I always had to have an organized desk. My desk at home is also neat, too (as much as possible, since I have to share it with Rick, who is NOT a devotee of organization and tidiness).

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    1. My computer desk has doors that can hide the clutter, which is an open invitation to be messy. My next desk will not so I'm going to have to start copying your organization. Any tips for the dozens of post-a-notes I have all over the inside walls of my cabinet?

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  4. Your story reminds me of the time in much younger preYouTube years when we called out the dryer repair service only to find we had accidentally turned off the gas line for the dryer! I went the opposite direction from you and turned on the TV new for the first time in a couple of months. Won’t be watching all the impeachment speeches today though. So disgusted with so much right now.

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    1. I'll bet many of us have had that happen, where we accidentally unplugged or shut off something than thought the appliance was broken.

      There is much to be disgusted about. I'm going to the grocery store today so I won't be hearing all the speeches today either.

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  5. Aww crap, today was my strip the bed and wash the sheets day. You have put the fear in me and I may just put it off for a day or so. At least I now know a cool dryer fix if needed though mine may be too old to have a motherboard.

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    1. I think what I did to cause the dryer to quit in the first place was give it too many directions, too close together and it got confused.

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  6. Well, that is great news re: the dryer. My new one is all computer chips, so I will be sure to try rebooting if it quits! And I'm glad you got your sheets back on the bed.

    I can't bring myself to watch that b.s. on TV. If I really want the headlines, they're available online 24/7 without listening to the likes of GOP Seditionists ranting on. Man, we are in weird times.

    On another note, I got the first dose of Covid vaccine. My side effects, while fairly mild, were enough to convince me I REALLY, REALLY don't want this virus. It felt like a case of the flu added to exhaustion. Today is better, but I'm still not up to speed on energy. Still...I won't be sleeping for weeks as I've read about with those who actually get it. /fingers crossed

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    1. I've no doubt in time your washer and dryer will do the same thing as mine did. Mine if five years old.

      I've heard doctors on TV say if you get reactions from the vaccine it proves it's working. I'm waiting for a response from my doctor on whether I should get one, given my adverse reactions to various medications---throat swelling up, giant hives, itching all over. And I've been had to be taking to ER for eating shell fish.

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    2. Oh my. We had to sit in the waiting room for 15 minutes minimum to make sure we didn't have an anaphylactic reaction. Sounds like you would be best doing this in a doctor's office! And I would just like to say that my vaccine is definitely working. :0) I am not looking forward to dose 2, as I've heard the reaction can be stronger. That said, I am grateful to have gotten it and happy I'm retired so I can just be a slug while my side effects pass...

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    3. I just signed up to get the text from our local chain super-market/pharmacy to the text for when they'll have the vaccine and to preregister just in case my doctor's office isn't going to be doing them. One of the pharmacist who was overhearing my request to get the text butted in to ask me, "Do you text?" I'm usually not offended by ageist remarks but I really wanted to smack her up with a funny but pointed come back but all I came up with was "Yes." Like why would I want to sign up for the text if I didn't text?!

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  7. Make yourself a merit badge for appliance repair! Don't think I would have considered doing that!! If I watch much news at night, I can barely get to sleep ... my mind gets so stirred up! He needs to be thrown out so we are not paying him and his $1M travel budget and bodyguards. My opinion.

    I'm still in pandemic mode. Make my bed sometimes. Stay in jammies all day sometimes. Have breakfast for dinner. Definitely enjoying not having to be too people-y!

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    1. I had just gotten myself weened off sleeping pills between the election and the insurrection. Now I'm back on them again otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep either.

      Total agree with you about Trump.

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  8. I did wonder about you when you started talking about yourself in the third person. But it all got straightened out so hurray for you! If only you could fix our country as easily! I keep thinking, "What next?" Yikes!

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    1. People who talk about themselves in 3rd person have always annoyed me. I was going to change it but then I thought maybe it was kind of funny.

      What next, is right!

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  9. I've been making my bed every morning as soon as I get up. (Unless the cat is still sleeping on it in a little patch of sunshine. Then I wait a bit to boot him off.) Having an unmade bed to me is too much like when I'm sick or have a migraine and know I'll be crawling back into it later. For all the good this did me yesterday---I had my first migraine after escaping them for a couple of years. I blame it on Trump.

    I had trouble with the computer "motherboard" of my stove a few months ago. It was beeping and flashing error messages at me for no good reason. Talked with a Maytag rep. and did the shutting it off at the breaker box thing like you did. It seems to have worked, although I was a bit nervous when I baked my Thanksgiving and Christmas pies that it might happen again. I really don't cook at all except for that. I think I'm the only person I know who has to dust the cook top of her range for lack of use. (There you go! Third person!)

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    1. I can relate to the dust on your range top. I think my dryer experience as taught me to slow down when pushing buttons on computerized appliances and give each step time to react, like a slow computer.

      Sorry about your migraine. It's wonder all of us don't have health issues after the last few weeks and maybe next as well.

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  10. Reading this made me think of my sister Sandy who also would have fixed the dryer, the computer and whatever else need so I thank yoou

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  11. Girl, you wore me out just reading what's been going on with you! Thanks for the laughter! I needed it!

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    1. Glad you found the humor in this post, I had fun writing it. Sometimes I wonder if it comes through.

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  12. I'm with nance in that I'd switch desk for bed, then proceed to try to unpack the chaos there-- that really is a reflection of what is in my head. You fixed your dryer? I am in awe of you. I tend to want to take a hammer to all willfully uncooperative appliances, but know better than to do so.

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    1. My best method of dealing with any thing that isn't working is to give myself a few hours to distract myself from the problem so that the that logical side of my brain takes over from the panic side.

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  13. The half of your Bed you made while in it {quite a talent I must say} probably inspired your Tech Wizardry? If you saw the condition of my Made Bed you'd realize there's no Hope for my Head and I'm not one to solicit Sane Advice from my Friend! *winks*

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    1. I've actually been doing that since I was a kid but it was easier back when I still had a twin bed. When I first put clean sheets on my bed I do VERY neat hospital corners which makes my 'talent' easier.

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  14. Well, at least they returned it! I dealt with discovering the dryer didn't work in a similar way as you did -- only mine was sopping wet towels during a basement flood clean-up. I can related.

    I am a manic bed maker. I make it as I'm getting out of it in the morning. If I don't make the bed, I am probably sick and know I will be crawling back into it. But since I have other sheets and such, I probably never would have thought about washing them right away. Oddly enough, the rest of the room would not be featured in a home decor magazine -- but the bed always looks good!

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  15. Well Jean, I have some work around my house that needs fixing, can we make an appointment? Impressive work on that dryer.
    As for a messy head if you bed is a mess - that is me. I have never ever made my bed daily. The day I strip the sheets I make the bed or if company is coming otherwise - never! I will always have a messy head :-)

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    1. Nothing wrong with that. You do Margaret better than anyone.

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