Party Talk and my Not-so-Secret Obsession

My new book club had their Christmas party at one of the nicest restaurants in the area, a beautiful marble, glass and stainless steel place on a golf course in the high rollers part of town. I was the only person wearing a Christmas sweater. Not true at the other two parties I attended this year where holiday wear was the norm including elf and Santa hats. These ladies “cleaned up nicely” as they say. Professional looking, quality clothing etc., etc., and three of them walked up to me with their hands stuck out to shake as they introduced themselves. I don’t like to shake hands especially during flu season but I did it with grace (I hope) and I was glad a woman across the table from me wasn’t one of the hand shakers. She shared the fact that she’s had “the flu” since visiting her family in Texas over Thanksgiving. She can’t get rid of it even after spending a few days in the hospital and taking a ton of medication. Thanks for sharing.

After writing “these ladies cleaned up nicely” I decided to google the phrase to pinpoint where it came from. The earliest reference I could find was a 1989 Seinfeld clip of Kramer saying it to Jerry when they were both wearing tuxedos, but my search was brief and I could have missed something. I did learn that the phrase appears on a list of eight things you should never say to anyone. Apparently, many people take it as an insult. People used to say it to my husband and we never took offense. He got grubby at work and play and did clean up well going from chimney sweeper dirty to GQ Cool. Language changes over time and thank goodness for that. Otherwise we’d all still be talking like Shakespeare: “What art thou that usurp’st this time of night…” but on the con side of changing language is we have to keep current. Last year a snowflake was just a beautiful ice crystal, this year it's anyone who is easily offended or can't deal with opposing opinions.

I already knew and like half the women in this book club from various activities around the senior hall and this party was an opportunity to get to know the other half. One lady, I learned, I will be avoid commenting on anything she says about current events. When the topic of what people watch or don’t watch on TV came up she announced, “I never watch politics because it’s always changing. ALWAYS!” Say what? What can you watch on TV that isn’t changing, a color pattern late at night in 1955? And when the waitress left the room for the last time the young girl said, “Happy holidays, ladies!” to which the woman who claims she doesn’t watch politics screamed out in a loud booming voice, “It’s Merry Christmas! Christmas is back!” Okay, that was my queue to buy a Starbucks coffee on the way home since they’re so-called foot soldiers in the so-called war on Christmas. I got so buzzed up on coffee last year over the red cup controversy that the car thought it was programmed to go to Starbucks drive-thou on every trip out of the garage. 

Another lady said she never watches TV because it makes her mad when a certain person comes on which I assumed was Mr. Trump but it could have been Captain Kangaroo for all I know. The vast major of those around the table of twelve said they hardly ever watch TV or they just watch PBS or classic movies. I kept quiet about the fact that turning on the television is the first thing I do in the morning and turning it off is the last thing I do at night. One woman said she thought people who watch cable news are always angry and the ‘color pattern’ lady agreed. Am I always angry? I must be a good actress if that’s true because I’ve never been accused of being perpetually angry…nor am I a Snowflake. I would never, for example, scream out, “It’s Merry [frigging] Christmas! Christmas is back!” which was an angry, joy-sucking political statement if I ever heard one. 

Party talk aside---the political kind, not the be merry kind that dominated most of the luncheon---one of the ladies at the party makes salves and potions out of essential oils and she brought a basket full of products to give away, so I went home with a gift that I love for the tin it came in. I love tiny seed-saver style tins even though I have no garden or seeds to save. I do have some seed savers with glass tops that I use to display special stones or sea shells. Want to hear another confession? When I empty out a pickle or other glass jar that has no printing on the lid, I wash it out and fill it with stones or shells. I know that sounds hoarder-lady like and the photos above and below probably bear witness to the fact that I could be headed in the direction. If you ever see me at the recycling center picking through glass jars please do an intervention. ©

 

yes, that wicker planter is filled with rocks

my sun porch is running out of empty windowsills

seed savers

Unwanted Gifts and it's Mueller Time

Time is passing by so fast. It’s hard to believe that December is almost half over and I just went to my second holiday party of the season. The gods of Michigan Snow are being kind to little old me who has lost her stomach for driving in Winter Wonderlands. The temperatures are bone-chilling cold, the landscape is covered with snow but the roads are down to bare asphalt. The worst place I have to drive is on my own driveway that, for reasons I can’t explain, is the only one on the entire cul-de-sac that is still snow covered. Not a lot of snow, just enough to make going to the mailbox akin to standing at the top of a ski slope wondering if you’ll make it to the bottom without falling. I put on my boots with ice fishing cleats attached and I use my husband’s old, four-footed cane for the trek. I also go to the mailbox in the late afternoon when people are coming home from work. In case I do fall, I figure I won’t have to lay there long before someone would drive by and take pity on me. My momma didn’t raise any fools. 

My second Christmas party of the season took place out in the boondocks which means the weather often prevents me from going but this year when twenty of my Red Hat Society sisters gathered at an upscale restaurant to order off the menu, I was one of them. This group, without exception, always orders dessert at parties so it gets pricey. I could not believe they have desserts listed for as high as $9.50. Still, we all went home with a box with half our entrées inside and the taste of brownie, hot fudge sundaes or crème brulee on our lips.

We do a $10 gift exchange that are distributed using the Right/Left game so you don’t know who will end up with what you bring. Two other groups I belong to have the bring-only-consumable-goods  gift rule and I’ve suggested that rule to the Red Hatters. We’re all in our 70s and 80s and who needs more jewelry, scarves, candles or décor do-dads, but the suggestion falls on deaf ears. This group likes bling. Wouldn’t you know it, the gift I got at the party was a watch with exchangeable bands that I’ll never wear. “You spent more than $10 on this,” I said as I thanked the woman who bought it. She smiled and said, “I just buy what I like and I don’t care about the price.” I spent July e-Baying collectible watches out of the house and I’d re-gift this one if I could, but I can’t think of anyone who'd wear it. Google priced it at $25. For a fleeting moment it made me feel cheap for only spending $11 on my $10 exchange gift. I’m thinking of wrapping the watch back up and leaving somewhere for a stranger to find. Well, except I couldn't leave it at an airport, school, mall or theater where someone would call the bomb squad about a ticking box.

Even with consumable gifts you don’t always welcome the gift you get. Last year a diabetic got a box of chocolates in an exchange and at my Gathering Girls party I went to recently I gave an assortment of teas along with a King Arthur gingerbread cake and cookie mix arranged in a cute snowman box and the next day I got a text asking me if I had the original tea boxes and receipts. Unfortunately, the recipient doesn’t drink tea. At that party we used the stealing game to distribute gifts but our game ended before she got a chance to ‘steal’ a gift she liked better than the one she opened. Oh, well, her family does a gag gifts exchange---things like toilet bowl brushes---so hopefully, she can re-gift the tea. If not, Goodwill probably benefits after the holidays from a lot of gifts that missed their marks. Even Donald Trump Jr. was joking on TV recently that his father re-gifts to him a lot of monogrammed gifts that are given to the president.

Change of topic: I probably shouldn’t bring this up but I feel like we’re getting early Christmas gifts with the high profile sentences and pleas that came out of the courts lately. (Spoiler Alert: Trump supporters should probably quit reading here.) So far the Mueller investigation has brought 36 indictments and he’s getting closer and closer to wrapping things up. To see some of the president’s lies and cover-ups finally being exposed in the courts gives me joy. Trump’s fall from grace, I predict, will be swift once all the redacted areas in the court filings get revealed over the next six months of trials and additional indictments. I personally think Donald Jr. is going to go down hard with some prison time and his father will stand by while the bus he’ll throw junior under runs over him. And the only reason Ivanka and Jared haven’t been charged in an emolument clause case is because they aren’t getting salaries while working in the White House. But I think the domino's of justice will eventually take them down, too. If you think I’m wrong about all this, don’t tell me until after the holidays. Let me live in my cocoon of believing the Rule of Law is coming back to the White House. Do I want to see Mr. Trump get impeached? That’s a question with a complicated answer but the bottom line is, we need to wait until enough wrong doing has been proven in court that even the hardcore Republicans in the Senate are calling for his head. Now, if you ask me if he deserves to be impeached my answer would be a resounding “HELL, YES!”  ©