Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Mistakes, Missed Opportunities and a Mishmash of Thoughts



Levi, my schnauzer, is so predictable yet he fools me every time I come home and he acts like he’s got to go outside to pee near his private fire hydrant. “I’m desperate, Mom, hurry up and open the door!” I oblige his canine-to-human mind communication and open the door to the garage, intending next to open the door that leads to his yard. Only instead of him following me he leisurely strolls around the car sniffing and lingering here or there to see where I’ve been, then he goes back in the house. Yesterday before going back inside he gave me a dirty look. I think he knew I went to the pet store without him.

I normally do take him with me to Dog Shopping-land but yesterday wasn’t a normal day. I woke up, had a quick breakfast, let Levi take care of his business, took a shower and raced off to the senior hall to catch a bus: destination the First African Church in town and a Buddhist Temple, part of the monthly ‘How we Worship’ series. The problem was I was a day too early. It was on my calendar correctly but I made an old person mistake and got my days mixed up. Don’t tell anyone, okay? Plan B. With extra time on my hands I went to the pet store and post office then dropped my primary ballot off at City Hall. Ya, I finally made up my mind who to support.

In case you’re wondering about Levi’s private fire hydrant in my back yard, Don bought it from a scrap iron place years ago when we were on our way out West. He bought two to keep and others to sell for a shocking profit---but it was a challenge moving around inside our motor home with fire hydrants covering the floor. That was so typical of Don. I still have those two hydrants. They were restored at a body shop. One is very small, over a hundred years old and I wonder if they’ll let me take it to nursing home when I go. I suppose I should be taking a photo of it instead for that time when we’ll have to part company. Now, it sits next to an Eco Air Meter and a large Mobil flying Pegasus in my tribute-to-my-husband corner of the garage. They are the last of his gas station memorabilia collectibles. Not sure if this is true or not, but I’ve always believed that Native American Indians in the Old West used to pick up peddles, feathers and small things to put in their possible bags as souvenirs of special days or events. Don and I used to kid each other that we had Indian blood in our veins because we were the king and queen of bringing souvenirs back from our trips.

So here it is the correct morning of the church tours and I’m trying to decide if I want to go. I’ve been spoiled by the mild winter we’ve had and we have a monster storm due to hit my area about the time I’m supposed to leave. They’re talking lots of blowing snow, accidents and wide spread power outages. The weather people are calling it “heart attack” snow because it will be wet, heavy and deep. Okay, just typing that has made me decide to stay home and finish the book I was reading into the wee hours of the morning. The senior hall only cancels their tours if the schools close and I suspect tomorrow’s lecture on storm chasing will be collateral damage of the storm. But if they send the kids home early today, and I’m on the tour in the heart of downtown dependent on the school bus drivers, we could get stranded and end up at the soup kitchen with the homeless for dinner and a night sleeping on the floor. Yes, my imagination is out of control. At least there will be no chance of snow for next month’s church tour. We’re going to an Islamic Center where we’ll have a transitional Muslim lunch. We have to wear long sleeves, dark colors and head scarfs and I hope some mad shooter doesn’t pick that day to demonstrate his hate. Sad, isn't it, when fear and going to a place of worship gets bundled in the same sentence.

I’ve been watching The People VS. O.J. Simpson TV series. It’s fascinating. I remember when the real trial was televised. Just about everyone I knew was glued to the TV day after day include Don and me and I have since read all the books written by the major “players” in the trial. I thought Don and one of his brothers would come to blows over whether or not O.J. was guilty. I wonder if his brother is watching this series and still thinks he’s innocent. Does anyone still think O.J. is innocent? 

Time to get some breakfast and hope I didn’t make a bad call by not going on the tour. The missed opportunity to see the Buddhist Temple made the decision hard. The weather people have been wrong before but the satellite maps show a pretty wide storm approaching, not much chance for mistakes in their forecast. Time will tell and in the meantime I have a book about living on Mars to finish. ©

17 comments:

  1. OJ was/is guilty.
    Does Levi actually use the fire hydrant in your back yard?
    Good thing you stayed home today, if it is bad here, it is really bad over on the west Lake side of the state.
    Funny thing about voting early, by the 8th, my candidate could have dropped out of the running. LOL

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    1. The dog we had before Levi used the hydrant which is probably why Levi doesn't. He will pee on the ones on the street.

      Looking out the window now, I'm glad I didn't go. It's awful out there and I can't image being in the mini bus on downtown streets. That bus doesn't even feel safe in normal weather. By the time they are due home in a few hours it will be bumper cars out there.

      There is pressure for those lower tier guys to drop out but they don't sound like any of them are going to do it until after MI.

      I was afraid to wait to vote for fear

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  2. We appear to be having a similar storm. I arrived back in the US last night and after 5 weeks of green grass and primroses, it was a bit of a shock to fly over the NorthEastern landscape. I was rather hoping to go to the supermarket today as I shut my refrigerator off while away and could use a few things to eat but I am not going to drive in this mess! So I don't blame you for deciding not to go.
    I never had much interest in the OJ trial. While I was sitting on the plane yesterday, I watched a documentary on Dick Cavett and Watergate. That was really interesting because even though I remembered his program, I didn't remember how involved he was in the Watergate hearings (he was one of the first people to talk about the break-in and keep the chatter going). You reminded me of this because they mentioned how many people were glued to their televisions watching the hearings and I was one of them.
    Here's hoping for more Spring-like weather soon.
    Regards,
    Leze

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    1. Oh, my gosh, I was one of those people glued to the Watergate hearings. I could have TV at work and at home. I would have liked that documentary you saw on the plane.

      I hope you have some stuff in the house to eat. It might take a while to clean up after this storm. You're probably like me have have a stash of canned things and dried stuff---I call them my second tier food supply. eatable but not my favorites.

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  3. Hi Jean. I'm feeling much better. I'm ready to go on another cruise. Oh ya, I am but I have to wait until next year. It'll be OK. Hope that you are feeling better. see ya my friend.

    Cruisin Paul

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    1. That's good news, Paul! I know you and your wife live for those cruises. I'm try to decide if I want to sign up for a one day sailing boat trip on Lake Michigan this summer.

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  4. Voting this year is going to take every bit of courage we have, I think. I do believe more people WILL be out to vote because of all the pre-primary hoopla.

    I'm glad you stayed home as well. I'm not comfortable with many other people who drive ... and I think the older I get, the more I feel like some of my friends shouldn't be driving. I ALWAYS volunteer ...

    I need to go get a good book! Too much computer glimpses which is a lot of reading, but no one topic!

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    1. I trust my own winter driving skills but I don't trust other people's and since they won't let me have the road all to myself, I'd rather stay home in dangerous conditions. I made the right choice not going.

      I've been longing to get away from reading on devices lately, too. I almost done with one book and have another coming in the mail on Friday.

      "Courage" is an interesting choice of words when talking about voting. LOL

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    2. During the OJ trial, I was a visiting scholar at a Feminist think tank and renting a room three nights a week from an African American couple. I was struck by how differently my (mostly white) feminist colleagues saw the trial (as about domestic violence) from how my black housemates saw it (as about the unfair treatment of Black men in the criminal justice system). The issues that have became much more visible to whites this past year in the Black Lives Matter movement were already framing the way African Americans saw the OJ trial. -Jean

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    3. I think the movie did a good job of showing that difference through their scenes about jury selection, etc. It's interest how differently people see the Black Lives Matter Movement, too. It's not as polarized as the O.J. trial but some people just don't want to admit that there are some bad apples in the police forces.

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  5. I sometimes go out in the evening to concerts and I was carpooling until I decided that I was more comfortable with my driving than one of the other women in the pool. I agree with you and "The Awkward Widow" that too many people, who shouldn't be, are driving.
    And I do have my second tier food supply. I made ziti and mixed in a can of tuna fish and a can of olives and with a little soy sauce it was actually good! And I made enough for tomorrow as well!!
    Regards,
    Leze

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    1. I like tuna and olives but have never tried it with soy sauce. Sounds good. I have a lot of food in the house because I didn't get snowed in this winter, until now. I don't know what the official totals are but I'm seeing 12 inches on my deck railing!

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  6. Levi is cute when he acts like a detective!
    OJ was guilty, I think.
    It'll be interesting to read of your visit to the Islamic Center.
    While you're having cold weather, we're having heatstroke weather. I use it to wash/dry heavy linen - it dries in a flash in the blazing sun and smells oh so nice of the wind/sun, and the lavender bushes.

    Libby

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    1. Lavender bushes, wow, that would be nice to have in the yard. You're washing heavy linen in the heat is a good example of making hay while the sun shines.

      I agree regarding O.J. There are people, though, who think that his being found innocent somehow makes up for all those who were innocent but were found guilty.

      Levi is cute when he checks out the car but I can't believe I fall for that trick so often! LOL

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  7. Just saw the news and we got 11.2 inches of snow in 24 hours. Time to dig out. All I managed to do this morning is shovel a place to feed the birds and another for Levi to pee.

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  8. We seldom have to cancel appointments because of weather, but it does happen occasionally. We don't get that much snow anymore. It's more likely to be rain that stops us if it's an outdoor activity.

    That Levi has such a personality. The nosey one, isn't he?

    I've bought things over the years to remind myself of a pleasant day. Sometimes from a vacation trip and sometimes just a day trip, and they really do remind me of the day and the place and what we were doing. H told me a few weeks ago that I should write the info. about where and when we bought them and tape it to the backs of pictures and bottoms of other things so the kids will know.

    We watched the first episode of the O.J. series, and then decided to wait until all of the episodes had aired and then binge watch them on On Demand. I remember that I knew he was guilty when Robert Kardashian read the so-called suicide/farewell note. As soon as he read the part about O.J. feeling he was the abused one, I knew he was an abuser at the very least. An abuser blaming the abused is classic behavior.



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    1. Here, not only do people like me cancel appointments with a lot of snow, the churches, schools and organizations cancels events. We have websites to go to check for closings.

      I would like to self publish a book just for me with photos and descriptions of 25 of my top favorite things. My Mom did what your husband wants you do to with with notes on things. She also put who she wanted to have what on the notes with about 25 things. It sure made it easier for us.

      I was at a message board where people were discussing the OJ trial series. It was interesting how so many of the young ones thought the TV series was being overly dramatic and couldn't have happened that way.

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