Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Soul Mates and Fingerprints

I think my fingerprints are disappearing. I wish I had an ink pad in the house so I could test out my observations. I could commit a crime and get inked up at the police station but that might cause a ruckus at the booking desk when they see what I see. Or rather what I don’t see---ridges in the skin on my finger tips. Where did they go? Does this happen to all old people? The next time I’m at the senior hall would I dare to line up a few ladies and do an inspection to compare their fingers to mine? When I was a kid my brother and I had a Dick Tracy Detective Kit so we could fingerprint each other and the cat. I wish I still had it which just goes to shows if you keep something long enough you'll find a use for it again. One of those kits sold recently for $100 on e-Bay. I suppose if I looked through my husband’s container of comic book hero radio premiums I might actually have a Dick Tracy detective badge in the house. I wonder if it would get me into the police station so I could fingerprint myself. I also wonder if I should be putting these thoughts down in writing at my age. I can see my nieces standing in front of a judge using my blog as evidence that he needs to sign those commitment papers in front of him. Not yet, girls! Not yet.

Growing old has its good and bad points. Growing old without your soul mate doesn’t have one darn thing to recommend it to anyone other than the Wicked Witch of the West but if memory serves me right from my fairytale reading days she wasn’t able to land a husband. So I’m guessing she never had a soul mate to lose. Hummm---that might be a good idea for a spin-off if I was into writing such things. The Wicked Witch of the West meets Baldwyn the Bastard from Bolivia and they have---you guessed it---a storybook romance that includes casting spells on virgins and castrating pigs, the four-legged kind. (“Good Eats!” as Alton Brown from the Food Network would say.) All kidding aside, why does the Great Kahuna in the sky separate soul mates, churning out widows like Land O’Lakes does butter? You’d think he/she would see the value in keeping soul mates in boxed sets while we’re here on earth that gets more valuable over time like old Dick Tracy crime stopping kits do.

Do you believe in soul mates or is it just something made up to explain why we are drawn to stay monogamous to someone we’ve pledged our lives to---someone with similar life goals, values and taste in crystal stemware? Do you believe we can find another soul mate after losing one? If I get my head out fairytales long enough I’d admit I believe soul mates are not only possible but it’s possible to have more than one soul mate in a lifetime---the old karmic soul mate and twin flames debate. Insert the fairytale mode back in my brain and I’d say, “Hell, no! Only one soul mate per customer and make your purchase last through the annals of time.” Soul mates are forever, I’d state with conviction. We keep finding each other when we’re recycled back on earth and in between times when we’re drifting around in the Great Unknown. Soul mates live happily ever after in storybook land. End of story. No buts about it.

From all accounts souls don’t take any form we can see, touch or hold so how will we find one another again in the next realm of existence? Are we just spinning around out there like clothes in a dryer hoping to meet up again, not knowing we’re already like a sock clinging to the inside of a pant leg? How many times have you looked for a lost sock, not knowing you’re already wearing it in the most unlikely place? I think our souls could be like magnetic jigsaw puzzle pieces that grab out and lock in place as we’re spinning in the universe. I think our souls have unique fingerprint-like IDs that don’t wear out like fingertip ridges do on old ladies who type too damn much. ©


  1. I expect your dearly departed soul mate is belly laughing with you. Since you asked me - all types of soul mates exist for us at all times. I find it hard to believe that fate says to a widow "Yup. Time's up. Nothing for you to do but sing the blues now."

  2. Thanks for the comment. I think you're right about there many all types of soul mates for us and when I visual us all together I think laugh fest.