Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, October 4, 2023

The Golden Bachelor, the CheerLeader and the Art Class

 

I’ve been so busy I hardly noticed that September turned into October. My first clue that it was happening is that I got a phone call from one of the guys living in my continuum care complex asking me how my dining dollars are holding up, and if I ran out would I like to have dinner with him and his wife. He’s in my writing group and I’m in book club with his wife. They always have extra dining dollars at the end of the month because she eats gluten free and this place cooks with too many things that makes her sick. She’s on the food committee and is responsible for getting a kale salad put on the menu and salt-less butter served with our bread. I'd vote 'Yuck' on both of those if they put them on a ballot. Salt-less butter has no flavor what so ever and the kale has a bitter taste I don’t like. Why can’t healthy food taste like our favorite flavors of ice cream? Life is so unfair! 

The Golden Bachelor
One of the reasons this week flew by was because the management threw several evening events at us which is not common if you’re not a card player: One was a cheese and crackers get-together by our fireplace which is new while playing Quibbler at night is only new to me. (The third night event was a Paint and Sip party, more about that later.) This was my third time playing Quibbler and I can honestly say it’s eating kale---good for my brain, but I don’t enjoy putting myself into situations that makes me feel stupid. One of my goals in playing, though, is to push myself outside of my comfort zone.

The side benefit of playing is you can’t sit next to someone for two hours playing a card game without picking up details about their interests and personal history. For example our resident Cheerleader who, they say, never misses Quibbler and is their ‘rules’ go-to-person didn’t show up this week because she wanted to watch the first episode of the Golden Bachelor. She’s been married three times and is one of only three people here who, gossips say, has tried dating since moving in. Two are guys who lost their wives and they didn’t waste any time shopping for a replacement companion…one with success though he only looked as far as the widow of one of his friends, and the other guy is still looking but gets teased because he’s only dating women from off our campus, found and vetted for him by his daughter. The Cheerleader dated a guy a couple of times who comes to our campus to give massages but that didn’t work out. She's got money. He doesn't, and she's ten years older than him, but I don't know if either of those facts was the reason she didn't continue dating the guy. She says he's "a nice person."

The Golden Bachelor, so named because the bachelor is 72 years old, is the first season of the Bachelor franchise for senior citizens. Since the parent franchise has been going for 27 seasons and this week's show was their 286 episode I’d say it’s about time. It's a popular series and I’ll admit to watching an episode here and there but I've haven’t felt compelled to follow an entire season. Yet.

We got finished with Quibbler early enough for me to catch the last half hour of the show and the Rose Ceremony. For those of you who don’t know how a Rose Ceremony works the bachelor spent two hours drooling over 22 women (in this season they are ages 60 to 75) and at the end of the evening he gave all but six women a rose. And those six are essentially voted off the island or to be more accurate, they are kicked out of the mansion where they all live together during the season’s filming. Each week the show ends with another Rose Ceremony until the bachelor is down to three women and at that point he gets overnight dates with each. The final Rose Ceremony ends in an engagement. Already I'm disappointed in this season because the Golden Bachelor boy kicked out the only woman who had short, white/gray hair and he opted to keep all the women who had dyed and bleached hair with lots of extensions. Only one other woman dared to leave a streak of gray hair in her otherwise black mane of hair. Well, two actually but I don’t know what to call a haircut that is showing the woman's gray roots standing straight up ending in an half inch of black hair on top and close-shaved sides and back. Both of these women are the token women of color in the cast and will probably get kicked out at the end of the 3rd or 4th show. I hate that a standard of beauty is perpetuated by shows like this that women can't be attractive without expensive and time-consuming hair treatments and isn't necessity all your own. Especially for older women. I thought there was a movement to accept gray hair in the beauty industry. And I’d bet money these candidates "looking for love again” kicked off their sky high heels the minute the cameras quit rolling.

One of the fan favorites of all the contestants, I read, put in her bio that she "loves to play ping pong, reading and body glitter." Body glitter? In your sixties? What will they think of next! Another woman loves to swim with the sharks. Other contestants listed as their 'fun fact' things like: Christmas enthusiast, makes hand-crafted greeting cards, enjoys 100 year old brandy, loves horseback riding, wants to have lunch with Kris Jenner and my personal favorite answer was the contestant who said she has three master degrees. She'll be kicked off the show early on because she's also the one who dared to leave two streaks of gray hair framing her face. Still, I had hoped that this senior season they'd place more value on brains and less on looks but I'm guessing the producers will stick to their not-so-secret formula that has kept the show in production for so many years.

Every season has a so-called bombshell like two women falling for each other or a former boyfriend shows up at the mansion and wants his woman back. I suspect one of the women from this season is transgender. If I'm right I hope The Cheerleader has set up a few viewing parties and a pool to see who is still standing at the end like she doesn't for fans of football and basketball. It would be fun to watch a few of my fellow residents react, knowing they think Trans people are a threat to society and all children everywhere.

Enough on that topic. Also this week was our ‘Paint and Sip’ evening which only costs $10 plus $5 for wine if we wanted a glass. I didn’t but those who did barely touched their glasses over the two hours of painting. One guy accidentally used his wine to clean his brush in so my hint to any who goes to a ‘Paint and Sip’ party is to only order red wine so you can tell if from the brush cleaning water. 

When the instructor first came in I was kind of insulted by the simplicity of the picture she wanted us to paint. By day she teaches kindergarten and she must have assumed we were like the people on campus who reside in the memory care building. She gave us little pools of the primary colors on a paper plate and I asked for some white so I could mix colors. I also teased the guy next to me that I was going to steal his brush because I didn’t like mine. So the instructor gave three more and loudly announced, “There’s always one in every class.” At the end, though, the consensus was that my painting turned out the best of the twelve. I had fun but the painting I came home with is nothing to write home about. (It's below.) And thank goodness it was done with the same paint that her kindergarten kids use because I managed to get white paint all over my favorite pair of jeans.

 Until Next Wednesday… ©

It's supposed to be the lake we live on but
 I didn't get the swans on it like everyone else did.

43 comments:

  1. The Golden Bachelor is not a show I'd watch but all of those Bachelor shows seem to be popular. I confess I did watch the cheesy dating show with Celebrity Rock Stars picking an alleged 'love interest', it was so ridiculous it was a guilty pleasure to laugh at all of them and know it's all fake and pure entertainment. They sure had some Characters and the aging Rock Stars are so shallow they're just looking for booty call and are now no longer in their Prime to have Groupies I suspect. A lot of the 'Contestants' were Girls gone Wild, Aging Strippers and Porn Stars, lots of Drama and Cat Fights. It reminds me of the "Housewives Of" and "Sports Wives" series of cheesy shows, the Women are tragic and all the Money in the World couldn't buy them an ounce of Class. Your Painting turned out fine in spite of the Instructor being condescending to the Class.

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    1. Those kinds of shows that pit women against women or men against men in these fake contests to find love are all the same. They cast a villain, a naive person, a player or two, a pot stirrer, a sex pot, etc. in their hunger wars formula. They can be fun to watch if you don't take them seriously. I never heard of the show with Rock Stars but I also didn't know they had one with sports stars. I guess Taylor Swifts current crush on the football player was on a show like that.

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  2. I find those shows to be so insulting and demeaning. Obviously, I'm in the minority because they've been on forever and are a cultural phenomenon. Reality TV never was my thing, unless you count The Great British Baking Show.

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    1. They are cheaper to produce than programs with real actors and scripts and storylines with any depth. The only Reality TV I watch on a regular basis are pedaled as 'the news.'

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  3. I've never watched any of the Bachelor/Bachelorette shows. I think they are ridiculous.
    You do a good job of trying activities at your complex.

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    1. They really are ridiculous and I think half the people who watch them are making fun of them at the cast's expense.

      Believe me I don't even do or write about half the stuff I COULD get involved in. Once in awhile I think I should try one of the faith based movie or book discussions and I tell myself I'd be doing it just to have something to write about. But I never get to the signing up stage. There are lots of music and play events that take people off campus but I'm not a fan.

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  4. I really like your painting. It's amazing what can be done with those primary colors --- especially if you get a little white to mix in with them. And honestly? I rather like it without the swans. For one thing, it seems to me that birds would be hard to paint well; no birds beat badly done birds every time! You probably could do a fine job with them, but in a time-limited situation like a class, it's hard.

    The biggest news around here is rain yesterday, and more rain today. Inches of rain, as a matter of fact. I'm almost caught up with blog stuff, so my avoidance of housework is getting harder to justify!

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    1. I did paint a decent practice swan on a piece of paper but I knew better than try to paint a swan on wet paint lake because it would be harder to wipe off it I didn't like it.

      I could teach classes on how to avoid housework, if you need one. LOL Hope the rain you got was welcome and not too much or too little.

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  5. I love the impressionistic style of your painting, Jean! I can tell from the photo that yours HAD to be the best of the bunch.

    I've never watched any of those Bachelor/Bachelorette shows but I have heard of them. It would be bad enough seeing younger women in competition against each other vying for a young man...to have older women going through the same paces just seems even more demeaning and undignified to me. Especially if they have to become "mutton dressed as lamb" in order to compete.

    I wonder if they will do a reversal of this one - where the woman has to choose from a bunch of senior men - that might be a fun watch. (Clearly, I have no issue seeing a bunch of men being put in that position 🤣.)

    Great post, Jean!

    Deb

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    1. If the ratings are high enough there were definitely be senior Bachelorette choosing between 22 guys. I wouldn't be surprised if here wasn't because this senior version will bring in new viewers. I've hung around enough fan sites (trying to figure our who likes these kinds of shows) to know half take it seriously and half pop popcorn and make fun of the drama, crying and back biting these shows bring out in the contestants.

      "Mutton dressed up as lamb" made me laugh because in this first episode most of the women wore the same kinds of evening gowns the younger women wore and I had a TERRIBLE time not commenting on the them. But after the post about the wedding gown with the black underwear showing and being attacked for "body shaming" I decided I can't open up that can of worms again.

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    2. Thanks for the comment about my painting. It was easy to be the best of the lot because I didn't follow the instructor. They all painted large areas with one primary color like little kids do and at the end at least five ladies threw their canvas's away. We all had fun though and voted to do another Sip and Paint class with a winter scene.

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  6. It is difficult to swim against the tide... few women in public facing jobs have gray hair. Think of the late Dianne Feinstein at 90 and Ruth Bader Ginsburg at 87, both with very important and serious jobs... still with dark hair at their deaths. If women like them think it important to dye their hair... what are the rest of us to think? There are a few... Emmy Lou Harris and Dame Judi Dench who go natural... as do I. We are the tiny minority.

    To be fair... some older men use hair dye and hair regrowing drugs to appear younger than the age on their social security card. I think the Golden Bachelor is one of them.

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    1. I get that, I really do it's just that I had thought women have started making in roads in going natural. A program like that could do a lot to help if they want to and/or had progressive woman helping to produce it. And you're right about guys doing the same to keep their jobs, especially those in the media. We Americans still live with age discrimination and that isn't going to change in my life time.

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    2. I agree that these shows could be a great vehicle to show actual women who stay natural in that age group who look great. There are tons of them! But many probably wouldn't join a show like that. It's true that men also color their hair, etc., but what I find fascinating is how many men get plugs. I mean, they SEW hair onto their scalp! Gross.
      Nina

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    3. Hair plugs sound scary! Bald heads can be sexy on a guy, especially if they are young when the start to going bald. We have a woman here who is has the thinnest hair I've ever seen. She still colors it red and if I had her hair I'd shave it and wear a wig when I felt like glaming it up.

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  7. I can't get into the bachelor franchise, even when the women are older. It's just a stupid premise to me -- that you can really make a mate in that amount of time. Nope. Not for me. (Although a pool would be fun!). I think your painting is fine, especially since you knew how to mix colors! It seems it would have been useful for them to poll people before the class and ask if anyone had previous experience painting before dishing out the tempera! At least it's not acrylics or you'd have white on your clothes forever! (I'm with you on kale and no-salt butter. Why bother?)

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  8. I talked to The Cheerleader today and she's going to do one when they get down to 10 women still standing.

    I've only been to one other Paint and Sip party and it was definitely run by someone who could teach a simple Bob Ross style painting that looked like something at the end. Still not 'real' art but it was fun to paint in a group at both parties. Reminds me of my college days and the excitement of hoping you measure up to the others in the class. When we get our new arts and craft room next winter (They're going to start working on it soon) I might teach a one-time class on paint-by-numbers---ordering, stretching the canvas and prepping them plus little tips I've learned along the way. There is interest here.

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  9. I think your painting is wonderful~ Looks like a lot more time and a lot more paint colors. And you did wonders with limited brush sizes, too. It really is beautiful! I attended on painting party. It was supposed to be something Golden Girls themed and I thought it looked like some scraggly feathers. So I changed it to 3 large plumes. It turned out they were supposed to be palm leaves? I didn't see it. I keep meaning to paint over it and not waste the canvas.
    I have never watched those shows. I think they make either competing sex look cheap attention grabbers. So demeaning. I think I would find this one eve worse. All these people are old enough to know better. Those interests are . . . interesting.

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    1. I like to think of myself as a student of human nature and I'm fascinated by stuff that is popular---who makes shows like this popular and why. The people who sign up for these kinds of shows are, in my opinion attention grabbers, like you said. They think they'll get noticed by the king and queen makers.

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  10. The Golden Bachelor is not a show I have heard of but I have zero interest in such shows, just like I have zero interest in Kale or salt free food I have tried salt free butter but though it was gross.

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  11. I'm with you on the kale. Hate it. As for salt less butter I don't mind. I buy both. Depends on what I'm making or baking which I use. As for the Bachelor I will never watch that show. I've seen enough on commercials or sound bites on other shows . I find it offensive that women are so insipid they are in love and cry after 2 dates. I would never throw my self at a man like that. They swap spit, spend the night and then he does the same with another the next night. Have some self respect women. I'm easy but not that easy :-)

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    1. They are good actors and actress to claim they fell in love after a few group dates and shallow conversations. It's all a fantasy.

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  12. I have a horrid fascination with the 90 day fiancee shows...they are like soap operas...oh well who am i hurting ,i get interested in the characters and scenery is often gorgeous ..what ever floats our boats right? I hope i age and die in my house as i am not social at all .

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    1. They are like soap operas and no one takes those seriously. But like you say it's not hurting anyone to get involved in the cast of predictable characters the have on these 'finding love shows'. I think it's healthier viewing that getting involved with true crime shows or police shows the scum of the earth.

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  13. Mr. Golden is a very young, very fit 70-something. The women are also in very good shape. Some people plan their evening around when it is on and I might watch it when it gets down to 10! Sheer guilty pleasure.

    I LOVE your style of painting! My Mom was a great oil painter and my daughter loves painting rocks. Obviously skipped a generation!

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    1. I talked to our Cheerleader and she's going to start a pool when they get down to ten women. She's all in for setting up a viewing party for near the end. WE think they'll be a lot of closet fans of the show. Guilty pleasure no one likes to admit.

      You are kind on the painting. But I like it well enough to spend another 1/2 hour on it toning down the lake.

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  14. I've never watched any of those bachelor programs, they are interested in different things than I am. No makeup or high heels here!

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    1. I haven't worn high heels since the '60s and I can't get into make up. It lke seems such a waste of money and at our ages it's SO easy to over do it and look clownish. There are two women here who'd I'd like to send back to their apartments to wash their faces. LOL

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  15. Jean, I know nothing about the Golden Bachelor, but I know that I like your painting. It's amazing what you did with so few color choices. (Hope the white paint came out of your jeans!)

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    1. It did come out. And I had a LOT of paint on my jeans. I'm pretty sure we could have eaten that paint and it wouldn't have done any harm. I should have asked for a little black paint as well as white so I could have mixed even more colors.

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  16. When the Bachelor/Bachelorette first came out, I watched for a while. But it seemed to get monotonous and and they seemed to be ramping up weird drama for ratings. So I haven't seen it in years. But I did watch the first Golden Boy episode. He looks young for his age (I think you're right about his hair dye and possible plugs) but he also seems nice. Almost embarassed by some of the antics of the women -- which are kinda ridiculous really. I am the age of the women and I can't think of anyone in my life/friend circle that would get involved in that goat rodeo. That said, a couple of them made me feel better about my upper arms. LOLOL.

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    1. Those evening dresses sure showed off some bony arms and shoulders, didn't they, but I didn't want to be the first to mention that for fear I'd get called out for body shaming again---still might. The producers would have a better show if they didn't use the exact, same format for this senior addition as they do for the younger cast members. Older people don't solely judge each other on the eye candy factor. I'd like to see this group in business attire for example, see how they rock a power suit with sensible shoes.

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  17. Fun article in today’s NY Times (10/6) about a group at a senior center watching The Golden Bachelor. Hope you can read it.
    I always enjoy your posts.
    ST-in-NM

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    1. I found it and just read it. That was fun. Thanks for pointing me in that direction. I also found it interesting that the show had good ratings.

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  18. wow jean such amazing painting, you are great artist, thanks to you I started & finished my first painting & enjoying the process though you won't like it since its sunflower so orange in color, though its my favorite color. On other note I also ended up watching golden bachlor quite intresting though don't like reality shows.

    Asha

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    1. Orange sunflowers? They are usually yellow and I like that color. No matter what I'd like your painting because you did it and it was your first. Are you going to do another one?

      I think those of us who read or went through a period of reading romance books are predisposed to giving the Bachelor type programs a try. I saw the second half of the second show too because I've found a few people here who are following it. So now instead of lunchtime talk of all sport games we can throw in a little (fake and funny) TV talk. LOL

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    2. "You are absolutely right, the yellow sunflower painting is now proudly displayed in our dining room. I've signed it as Asha Chandra V2.0. I've also started my second painting for our future oceanfront cottage. The only hiccup is that my husband isn't completely on board with the idea yet, but a girl can dream and work towards that goal, right? I'm starting with the painting for our oceanfront cottage and will wing it from there. By the way, I tried emailing you a photo of my first painting, but it bounced. You know, I'm really enjoying this version 2.0 of Asha. I've stepped out of my comfort zone and I'm having a blast. Who would have thought that I'd find so much joy in doing my own things, whether it's painting, watching movies, or TV shows alone? Now, I've even told my hubby that if something were to happen to me, he should feel free to remarry. It's quite a shift from after my stroke when I warned him that I'd haunt him if he brought a stepmom into our son's life. But now, I believe he deserves to find happiness again and potentially remarry if I were to pass away before him.

      I'm really happy for you. You made the right decision by moving into CCC. It sounds like you're having a great time there, and it's a bonus that you're close to your brother."

      Asha

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    3. That makes me happy that I've inspired a new hobby for you. Beach cottages are something I'd love to paint. In fact I'm doing a shoreline painting now based on a photo of my great-nephew's new cottage frontage. An ocean front cottage would be a great place to rent for a vacation. My niece does that every year and has for a very long time. Best vacation location I can think of. My fantasy was always being to be in the Witness Protection Program living in a cottage at the beach in the outer banks of North Carolina or Nantucket. Nothing wrong with dreams.

      I had to change e-mail addresses when I moved her so that's probably an old address you're using. I don't want to print it here in my blog because of the crawlers. If you wanted, you could post a photo of your painting on your Facebook page or private message me a photo of it there.

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  19. Had a giggle at the kale reference. I like kale now but when I was growing up on a farm in Devon, UK, we used to feed it to the cows! Then all of a sudden it became very trendy. I think I wrote about kale on a blog post at one time.
    As for dyed hair, I was reading a post in national paper The Mail on Sunday about 60s supermodel Jan De Villeneuve. She' still modelling and has a tremendous mop of grey hair. Love your painting, by the way!

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    1. I just saw a local entertainer in her 60's with a mop of gray curls and it was SO cute! I truly don't understand why women color their hair so much. Brown and black to blondes. I could see it if their natural color is a mousey non color or faded red but it's time to quit selling the whole blondes have more fun crap. Highlights add interest but black roots on blonde heads I can't stand.

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  20. Hahaha. The Body Glitter tickled me to death. I can just see someone trying to glitter me with my sagging books, hanging belly, and various diabetes apparatus sticking out of my stomach. If I received it as a gag gift I would try it, but definitely not share pictures.

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    1. That one tickled me too. a woman in our age bracket using body glitter like a 10 year old!

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