Cognitive Quirks of an Octogenarian

According to Wikipedia, one of the most highly cited papers on short term memory was written by George A. Miller, titled "The Magical Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two: Some Limits on Our Capacity for Processing Information." He was a Harvard University professor and the article was published in Psychological Review in 1956. Over the years its become known as Miller's Law and it argues that the number of things an average person can retain in our short-term memory is 7 plus or minus 2 items. (Why not just say 5 to 9 items, this inquiring mind wants to know.)

Several years ago I voluntarily took one of those long form cognitive tests as part of a twelve week class being taught here at my independently living facility on improving our memories. The class was a bust. We started out with 10 or 11 in the group but by the fifth week everyone dropped out. The class came with a thick workbook that involved doing daily timed math problems, writing long-hand every day and something else I've forgotten on the 'three legged stool' for keeping our brains healthy. The cognitive test was to be taken at the beginning and end of the class for comparison. And that test included the Miller Law list of seven objects named at the beginning of the session. I was able to repeat back six of them at the end. It was a good 'thinking day' for me, but our Enrichment Director who gave the test made it too easy because they weren't exactly random words. She looked around my apartment and I was able to follow her eyes then fix an object in my brain as she named things like purse, red, clock, notebook, etc., etc. So I don't believe the test predicted anything regarding how long random things stay in my short-term memory. 

More telling to me would be to count how many times I have opened the dishwasher door when I meant to open the freezer draw right next to it. Often enough to worry me and give me flashbacks to finding things in my dad's cupboards or refrigerator that belonged in the opposite place. When will I cross over the line and start putting the ice cream next to the glasses in the cupboard or a dirty plate in the freezer? I've decided that will be the marker that will push my panic button. For now, I'm checking and correcting myself midway through dishwasher/freezer drawer mix ups. 

Another marker I will use to judge if I'm in serious cognitive decline will be often I lose things. Up until this year I could count on three fingers the number of things I've lost in my entire life. (Yes, I'm that OCD person who obsessively keeps track of my stuff.) A few months ago I lost my Mahjong Card and I had to order a new one. Don't think that didn't rattle me! Worse yet, I keep thinking someone stole or accidentally took it home because the last place I saw it was on a table after we played and the room was filled with people milling around. Don't all seniors with draining brain power who lose things get paranoid and think others are to blame when they can't find something? 

In 2020 Trump did a press interview about the Cognitive Decline Test he took (and had mixed up with an IQ test). He was bragging all over Fox News about remembering the words, "person, woman, man, camera." Among other things, he said that no one could believe he could remember those words! For awhile that Miller Law memory exercise was a standard question on the yearly Medicare Wellness Test so he wasn't fooling anyone but you'd have thought by the bragging Trump did that he'd aced an SAT test. 

I just had a Medicare Wellness test last month and that question wasn't included this time. I think they know we old people compare notes and try to cheat on the answers. For example, no one here where I live admitted to having throw rugs on their floors so we could avoid the lecture about them being leading cause of falls in the elderly. This time my test had a full page of questions about depression and self medicating with drugs or alcohol. It also asking questions about food insecurity and I wondered what they do if a senior answers indicating they have to ration their food to make it last from social security check to social security check. The last week in the month when our food allotment around here is running low there's a lot of math involved in ordering our meals to get to a break even point on the last day of the month. It's more like a game around here because we don't like to leave any money behind for the management. No one here would go without, though, if they run short, because someone always has leftover money in their allotment they are dying to share. It's usually the same people who run over or don't use up their funds. Most of us work at and brag about how close we come to the break even point.

I've written about my dad being in a drug trial for an Alzheimer's drug and part of that trial involved me taking him in to get an extensive comprehensive cognitive test every two months for a year. Watching him take those tests were bittersweet because 1) It clearly showed his decline, but 2) his sense of humor came through in those dementia years. But that was over 25 years ago and they have new trials going for dementia and Alzheimer's patients. They have twice a month Dementia Support Classes here on my campus and I used to go to them when my brother was alive and I probably still should given the fact that a half dozen others with dementia are living in the independent living and every day they can be found tagging along behind their spouses. Occasionally they escape the careful eye of their spouse and someone else will help them find there way. We don't have any dementia patients living on their own here, though---they are all down in the Assisted Living or Memory Care building. It's both heart-breaking and a relief for the caregiver-spouse when their partner has to move on down the line because they can't handle it anymore. On the good side they can visit daily with a short walk.

I just finished binge watching the first season of OutLast on Netflix. It's one of those reality, survivor-type shows. They started out with 16 players and ended up with a three man team that split the million dollar prize. It took place in Alaska and they had to live off the land for a month and they were dropped off with very little supplies---a hatchet, knife, bow and arrows, a tarp and a spark marker to start a fire. I don't know how realistic these survivor TV shows are when they have trail cameras aimed at them every which way. But one thing is for sure: when I'm watching dystopia and survivalist shows I start questioning my mental health because for some quirky reason I only watch them when I'm worried about something big and consequential---after my husband died and during the pandemic back a few years ago. Probably the election now is why I picked OutLast. Those kinds of shows always make me feel better about the underlying thing that is keeping me awake at night is not so bad by comparison.  ©

Until Next Wednesday.