Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

Yes, I Still Drive....but Hoedowns are More Fun


Have you ever have one of those weeks that has you moving every second? No time to catch your breath or watch the news or go for that daily walk that is desperately needed to keep the weight from grabbing on to your hips for dear life. A half dozen others living here in my continuing care complex walk past my window every night around 7:00---and in the early morning, too, but I'm not up to see that parade. I need to get on that exercise train but time goes by and I have my long list of excuses. Some weeks my exercise consists of nothing more than walking back and forth between the next building where our meals are served and all activities take place.

This week I drove twenty minutes out of town to get an oil change at a Chevy dealership in a two-block long town, avoiding the another Chevy dealership less than four minutes from my apartment because it's on second busiest street in Michigan (and their 'waiting room' is a couch in the garage next to your car that is sitting in the oil change bay. Who thinks that's a good idea?) I avoid the second busiest street at all costs because according to state statistics our seven mile long stretch of the State Trunkline Highway carries an average of 42,000 vehicles each day. All but twelve years of my life I've lived within three-four blocks of this street. I've watched it grow from a gravel two lane road to a five lane hub of stores, gas stations, quality restaurants and fast food drive-thru's, specialty shops and big box stores.  Confessions like that make me sound old, don't they!

I've seen it all on this street---accidents, road rage, police stand offs, traffic jams, drunks, a robbery in real time, construction zones and the year it got shut down because of a blizzard. Don and I and the rest of our snowplow crew plowed our way to our contracted parking lots that year which also helped out the emergency vehicles and snowmobiles trying to transport essential workers to where they had to go. I had to drive this congested stretch of road back and forth to work for twelve years and most of my life it was unavoidable to get to any where I needed to go. Now, in the twilight of my life, I can drive straight south across it and find the back road that shadows the trunkline and provides back door access to the only places I ever go along it---Trader Joe's, Hobby Lobby, the bookstore and Dollar General. At my age I'm picky when and where I drive. No left turns if I can avoid them. No downtown driving, No night driving. No rush hour driving. No bad weather driving. No highways and definitely not that State Trunkline.

Also this week the management here in my CCC had what they called a 'Hoedown' and it was more fun than any of us expected. The lobby was filled with straw bales and an almost full-sized stuffed horse with a real saddle on it. I did not try to mount it for a photo but others did and no one left blood on the floor when they dismounted. The food served was pulled pork sandwiches, baked beans, scalloped potatoes and strawberry short cake. Our line-dancers were pressed into the role of entertainers and there was a four piece band with a banjo, two fiddlers and an acoustic bass.  

But the best part of the evening was seeing how everyone got into creating a costume. Lots of flannel shirts, blue jeans, cowboy boots, neck scarves and even a few genuine cowboy hats were pressed into service. I still have my husband's favorite Stetson but I opted instead to tie a scarf around my head. Not just any scarf. It was from Willie Nelson's 1985 Farm Aid concert that was attended by 80,000 and it raised seven million dollars for the farmers who were in the worst crisis since the Great Depression.

The scarf was signed by the over 50 singers who were on stage during the concert---both big names and up and coming super stars. The scarf was a fun reminded to those who remembered those Willie Nelson concerts and on the other hand, it was interesting noting those who had no idea there had even been a crisis back in the '80s that put so many of our farmers out of business. I'm always amazing when I run across something I thought was common knowledge and it turns out not to be.

This week the management also had what they call a "Teaching Kitchen" which I'm guessing is just something they do every other month so we'll get to know the chef better and/or because it's nearly free entertainment to fill a slot on the calendar. The last one was on pickling veggies and I still have two jars sitting in my refrigerator from that session. This week's class was on making no-bake cookies and the bag of cookies I left with were gone in two days. 

Crafter-noon was also on the schedule this week. It's when anyone who is working on any craft---sewing, knitting, art project, etc.---gets together to talk as we work. It's not very well attended but I use the opportunity to cut out quilt pieces that I've been hand sewing together in front of the TV at night. The craft building has a well-lite, huge table that's a dream to work on. Even though a couple of times I've been the only person to show up for Crafter-noon, I like the fact that it reminds me twice a month to keep working on the last quilt I'll ever make.

Yesterday I joined an off-campus outing to a near-by town to see an exhibit of advertising art. Three of the women who live here worked in the art department of Herman Miller and some of their past creations were in this retrospect. If you love mid-century modern furniture, you'd pay to tour their apartments.

To round out my week, my youngest niece, gave me a gift of both her time and her expertise as a professional house cleaner. She cleaned and organized all the lower cabinets in my apartment. After nearly three years of living here they'd gotten messy. She also washed the faces of all my cupboards (uppers and lowers) in the kitchen, bath and laundry room. Spending time with family reconnects me with my past in a way nothing else ever does so our conversation was the icing on the cake---the cake being a metaphor for a lovely week. ©

Until Next Wednesday!

I do not take good selfies! But at least you can see my version of a Hoedown costume.

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