Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

Yes, I Still Drive....but Hoedowns are More Fun


Have you ever have one of those weeks that has you moving every second? No time to catch your breath or watch the news or go for that daily walk that is desperately needed to keep the weight from grabbing on to your hips for dear life. A half dozen others living here in my continuing care complex walk past my window every night around 7:00---and in the early morning, too, but I'm not up to see that parade. I need to get on that exercise train but time goes by and I have my long list of excuses. Some weeks my exercise consists of nothing more than walking back and forth between the next building where our meals are served and all activities take place.

This week I drove twenty minutes out of town to get an oil change at a Chevy dealership in a two-block long town, avoiding the another Chevy dealership less than four minutes from my apartment because it's on second busiest street in Michigan (and their 'waiting room' is a couch in the garage next to your car that is sitting in the oil change bay. Who thinks that's a good idea?) I avoid the second busiest street at all costs because according to state statistics our seven mile long stretch of the State Trunkline Highway carries an average of 42,000 vehicles each day. All but twelve years of my life I've lived within three-four blocks of this street. I've watched it grow from a gravel two lane road to a five lane hub of stores, gas stations, quality restaurants and fast food drive-thru's, specialty shops and big box stores.  Confessions like that make me sound old, don't they!

I've seen it all on this street---accidents, road rage, police stand offs, traffic jams, drunks, a robbery in real time, construction zones and the year it got shut down because of a blizzard. Don and I and the rest of our snowplow crew plowed our way to our contracted parking lots that year which also helped out the emergency vehicles and snowmobiles trying to transport essential workers to where they had to go. I had to drive this congested stretch of road back and forth to work for twelve years and most of my life it was unavoidable to get to any where I needed to go. Now, in the twilight of my life, I can drive straight south across it and find the back road that shadows the trunkline and provides back door access to the only places I ever go along it---Trader Joe's, Hobby Lobby, the bookstore and Dollar General. At my age I'm picky when and where I drive. No left turns if I can avoid them. No downtown driving, No night driving. No rush hour driving. No bad weather driving. No highways and definitely not that State Trunkline.

Also this week the management here in my CCC had what they called a 'Hoedown' and it was more fun than any of us expected. The lobby was filled with straw bales and an almost full-sized stuffed horse with a real saddle on it. I did not try to mount it for a photo but others did and no one left blood on the floor when they dismounted. The food served was pulled pork sandwiches, baked beans, scalloped potatoes and strawberry short cake. Our line-dancers were pressed into the role of entertainers and there was a four piece band with a banjo, two fiddlers and an acoustic bass.  

But the best part of the evening was seeing how everyone got into creating a costume. Lots of flannel shirts, blue jeans, cowboy boots, neck scarves and even a few genuine cowboy hats were pressed into service. I still have my husband's favorite Stetson but I opted instead to tie a scarf around my head. Not just any scarf. It was from Willie Nelson's 1985 Farm Aid concert that was attended by 80,000 and it raised seven million dollars for the farmers who were in the worst crisis since the Great Depression.

The scarf was signed by the over 50 singers who were on stage during the concert---both big names and up and coming super stars. The scarf was a fun reminded to those who remembered those Willie Nelson concerts and on the other hand, it was interesting noting those who had no idea there had even been a crisis back in the '80s that put so many of our farmers out of business. I'm always amazing when I run across something I thought was common knowledge and it turns out not to be.

This week the management also had what they call a "Teaching Kitchen" which I'm guessing is just something they do every other month so we'll get to know the chef better and/or because it's nearly free entertainment to fill a slot on the calendar. The last one was on pickling veggies and I still have two jars sitting in my refrigerator from that session. This week's class was on making no-bake cookies and the bag of cookies I left with were gone in two days. 

Crafter-noon was also on the schedule this week. It's when anyone who is working on any craft---sewing, knitting, art project, etc.---gets together to talk as we work. It's not very well attended but I use the opportunity to cut out quilt pieces that I've been hand sewing together in front of the TV at night. The craft building has a well-lite, huge table that's a dream to work on. Even though a couple of times I've been the only person to show up for Crafter-noon, I like the fact that it reminds me twice a month to keep working on the last quilt I'll ever make.

Yesterday I joined an off-campus outing to a near-by town to see an exhibit of advertising art. Three of the women who live here worked in the art department of Herman Miller and some of their past creations were in this retrospect. If you love mid-century modern furniture, you'd pay to tour their apartments.

To round out my week, my youngest niece, gave me a gift of both her time and her expertise as a professional house cleaner. She cleaned and organized all the lower cabinets in my apartment. After nearly three years of living here they'd gotten messy. She also washed the faces of all my cupboards (uppers and lowers) in the kitchen, bath and laundry room. Spending time with family reconnects me with my past in a way nothing else ever does so our conversation was the icing on the cake---the cake being a metaphor for a lovely week. ©

Until Next Wednesday!

I do not take good selfies! But at least you can see my version of a Hoedown costume.

37 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you moved there! ❤️
    ---Cheerful Monk

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    1. Me too. Even though the prices have gone up faster than we were told they would it's still an interesting place to live.

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  2. You definitely got the Hoedown version going on! The menu was spot on as well. (You take great selfies) Back in the 90's we hosted a Depression Era Dinner Party. Old newspapers were the tablecloth. Flowers tied with raffia thrown around the room. Toilet paper for napkins. Mix and match jars for water and for drinks. We each brought an oil lantern and some candles on the table. We played poker for pennies. So much fun.

    You sure are getting your money's worth. With a clean clean house to top it off. Keep on sharing!

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    1. You had some inventive ideas for you depression Era party. The newspapers would be hard to come by now. My folks used to tell stores of going to parties during the depression and the price of omission was a carrot or potato or something they could put in a soup pot that they'd serve later on. People played instruments and they danced.

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  3. We live a few miles from a busy interstate highway, and we avoid it when possible. Every time we turn on the news, we're reminded of the many accidents that happen on those roads. We're fortunate to have a "back road" like you described You've been keeping busy with fun activities, Jean. I'll bet that hoedown was fun. So great that you kept your autographed scarf from the Farm Aid concert. I'm trying to get a decent walk in every day, too. It really makes a difference to my weight, and I sleep better at night on those days I walk. My husband (who had a stroke nearly a year ago) goes with me. He's slower than he used to be, but it seems that the walks have helped him. Being outside does something to lift our spirits, and that's something everyone can benefit from.

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    1. Good for you! I make too many bad choice when it comes to walking or not walking. I know I feel better when I do it. I spend too much time exercising my brain and not enough on my body. If I was smart I'd find a better balance.

      I wish those autographs were all hand-signed in person but they were signed as part of the printing process when they made the scarves. It's still a pretty special keepsake to me.

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  4. You've had some great activities lately. I love that you participate in so much and are so social. All the aging experts and doctors say that it's the best thing you can do to stay sharp and healthy.

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    1. And I didn't even write about the beekeeper who brought a hive and live bees with him to his lecture.

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  5. Sounds like a busy week of great fun!

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  6. Your niece sounds awesome. That's a real gift. And I love your hoedown selfie. That scarf is a real treasure. I'm with you on the driving. I'll go out of my way to avoid some seriously busy roads. It is odd to see how much things have changed -- some for the better, some, not. I love the idea of your Crafternoon and Teaching Kitchen. That sounds fun!

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    1. If we had a bigger campus, which we were supposed to have but Covid canceled out building another resident building I think the Crafter-noon would be better attended. Come winter when the knitting needles come out I think it will pick up. I think half of us go to the Teaching Kitchen event for the free food. LOL

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  7. I avoid that street like the plague, too! I am willing to drive more miles to get around it and come in the back way to most stores.

    So many things at your CCC seem like fun! I love that scarf…what a treasure. And what a treat to have a family member clean for you while visiting and enjoying their company.

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    1. I knew you'd figure out what street I'm talking about but hoped no one else in cyber space can. I may write about a lot of personal stuff but I have a live I draw of giving away my exact location. When I started researching the traffic count I was shock it was called what I wrote in my post. Lived here all my life and didn't know that.

      My nieces are both great! I wish we all lived closer.

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    2. That traffic count is wild! But if you ever get caught there at a busy time, it is believable.

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  8. Love the scarf and you are rocking it, Jean! I'm with you about the driving. I try to minimize risk in many of the same ways as you do - avoiding busy streets, left turns, always giving myself plenty of time etc. Your complex has so many fun and interesting things going on.

    Deb

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    1. Some day I'll have to write about the activities I don't take part in. People could (and do) live parallel lives here and never see each other.

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  9. Wow girl, you are a busy lady, good for you👏 So many opportunities to broaden your mind and keep you active that it must be hard to decide what to take part in. Loved that your niece came over and did some cleaning as that is what I struggle with, especially since I can’t get on my knees. Just having that one on one with her would have been a blessing. Your picture as cute and where did you get the scarf?

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    1. Yes, I'd be happy with just visits from my nieces but having a purposeful visit is truly a blessing. And they both have busy lives of their own so I feel honored when they make time for me.

      You have to make a sizable donation to Farm Aid to get a scarf. Not sure how much, but enough to turn my head back in 1985.

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  10. We lived in St Joseph, Mi during the 78 snows... drifts of lake affect snow up to the roof lines....home made sledding from those roof lines... snowmobiles picking up groceries for the neighborhood... front loaders getting the snow off the streets! Funny enough those are good memories for us!!

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    1. The blizzard was fun and it gave us all a sense of pride that we got through it. Fun unless you had a medical emergency. We had two front end loaders going around the clock and we took turns taking naps in our snowplow trucks---never left our mall lot for three days.

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  11. I love the scarf and I'm old enough to recall Farm Aid. Can I adopt your niece? I need my cabinets cleaned and I am just not into it. I look at them and say out loud, I need to wipe down all these cabinets. And then I don't do it. The hoedown sounded like more fun and skip the cabinets. :-)

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    1. She's a housing whiz and has been since she was a little girl. She even cleaned the inside of my toast and cleaned my dishwasher filter without me even asking.

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  12. I always feel I look old in selfies and rarely take them, you look ok though

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    1. You are kind. I always seem to be snaring at the phone/camera.

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  13. Love the keepsake scarf and how you put your outfit together. The Hoedown sounds like a lot of fun and must have had some great planning. I think the teaching kitchen activity, too. You have landed in a great spot.

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    1. Thank you. I love the scarf and what it stands for. For me, it's symbol of true American patriotism---people coming together to help others.

      The decorations for our parties are done through a resident social committee with budget that is paid for by the Life Enrichment Director. I was asked to join because of my background in the floral industry but didn't and I'm glad I can just enjoy our parties without working before and after them.

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  14. OH, oh, oh! We want to see the quilt you're piecing! Can you post a photo of how much you have done so far?
    A hoedown normally wouldn't sound like much fun to me, but it did after reading your description. I'd be standing behind a pillar or wall somewhere watching the goings-on because I'm such an introvert. And voyeur. ;>)

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    1. Me too on the voyeur part. I love to people watch. Especially at events where people drink and get silly. They never last long enough for people to get drunk but long enough so the introverts quit hiding, so to speak.

      The quilt isn't far enough along to photograph. I'm doing boring 4 inch blocks right now in a pinwheel patterns. But I will start photographing the process so one day I an do a post or two on it. I'm always looking for blog fodder so thanks for the idea.

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    2. I didn't realize you were a quilt maker, so immediately piqued my interest. Quilts are one of a kind artworks by their very nature, so always fascinated.

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    3. I did post photos of a quilt I made in an older post. You can find them with the link below. I never know how to describe my quilts because I make them up as I go along. This is the one I'm most proud of doing. https://misadventuresofwidowhood.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-quilt-full-of-memories-restaurant.html

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  15. What you call 'costume' I call clothes! Bluejeans? Check. Flannel shirts? Check. Boots? Check, check, check. (Hiking, mud, snake) But I don't have one of those scarves -- that's cool beyond words. I never made Farm Aid, but I loved the concerts. There have been a couple in Texas, including one in 1986 where Stevie Ray Vaughan played, but I'm not fond of huge crowds, so I'd pass on something like that. I do wonder how much longer Willie's going to be around for us to enjoy. I don't usually grieve the passing of celebrities, but he's more than "just a famous person."

    I grinned at your comment about being surprised when you remember something other people don't seem to know about. It wasn't so long ago I was eavesdropping on a political conversation in a line at the grocery store, and a lady as old as I am -- or older -- said, with a grin, "Where is Harold Stassen when we need him?" How many people remember that dude from Minnesota ran unsuccessfully for president something like nine times? I'm not even sure why I remember him!

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    1. Harold Stassen is a new name for me. It's funny and quirky what information sticks in our brains and what goes through like a sieve.

      I used to live in sweats, flannel, jeans and t-shirts before I moved here. I still occasionally wear them but feel like Cinderella to her stepsisters when I do. One of the very few things I don't like about living here is social pressure to dress better.

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    2. P.S. I will mourn Willie Nelson too. He was a big part of my husband's and my lives.

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  16. What a great Week filled with Fun and Fellowship. Hard to Believe you've been there Three Years huh? Time Flies and here there too are not enuf hours in the day to do everything intended or I should be doing. That Willie Nelson Scarf is a great Conversation Starter for the Hoedown, which did sound Fun. I remember in my Banking Career we had some Hayrides and a Cowboy Style Cookout Dinner, there was a company that had Stables, Horses and a faux Western Town facade to ride the Hay Wagon up to and cook the Meal over an open Campfire for us. I still have fond Memories of that and wish they did them more often. I don't have a Group I'd go with anymore, but, it would be something still of interest to do even if with people I don't work with or know yet.

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    1. Ya, I can't quite see you hanging around a senior hall where most of us in our Medicare years look for things to do and people to do them with.

      Your Hoedown memories beat mine for sure with your real horses and outdoor cooking. I'll bet you have an open bar to go with it. We had a bar but we had to pay for drinks out of your food allowance.

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    2. Can't recall if anyone drank at the Hay Ride Bank Party... and Bankers can Drink! I don't drink then or now so it would be a non-issue if there was an Open Bar or not. But, Campfire Meals are the best and tho' I would never ride a Horse, a Horse Drawn Wagon was Fun.

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