“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Facebook and Green Burials



I love Facebook, especial the Short Reels. I watch them an hour and to an hour and a half every day. I suspect I'm addicted to them so I've resorted to setting a timer to limit my time. I don't feel guilty about spending time this way, however, because I learn things and often I get my post inspirations from the site. One of the most useful things I've learned is to never 'like' something on Facebook unless you want to see a gazillion of similar short videos and/or advertisements. I do follow certain people, though, to make sure I don't miss something they put online: Jon Steward, Stephen Colbert, Josh Johnson, The Good News Girl, and the Texas Beeworks girl are all people I follow for predictable content. 

In addition to these celebrities I follow some zoos for content about silverback gorillas, panda bears, sloths and elephants. I also follow or subscribe to Facebook sites about the following topics: Tiny Houses, Unique Trees, Lost Pets, Mid-Century Modern and Atomic Mid-Century Modern decor, cute puppies and kittens, Mahjong and freeing wild animals caught in dangerous situations. Currently I'm fascinated by the turtle pictured above who runs around on a skateboard tormenting the cat that I've actually seen helping the turtle get on his tiny skateboard. As my husband would have phrased it, "That little guy can really haul ass with those wheels under him!" As a kid I spent my summers at a lake so it's probably a sentimental thing, a throwback to when I had baby turtles as pets, that makes the turtles on skateboards so endearing.

I've seen giant tortoises, too, on what I thought had to be custom made skateboards. But I decided to fact check myself before I made that claim and I was shocked to find lots of sources for "Pet Skateboards" and as cheap as seven bucks. There are photos of birds, turtles, bearded dragons, small tortoises, cats, dogs and pigs acting as catalog models for the boards. You can even buy harnesses that go around the boards and your turtles so you can walk them on a leash like a dog. Please do an intervention for me if I start talking about getting a turtle as a pet. Wouldn't I be the talk of my independent living complex if I start walking a turtle? I did do a wee bit of research and learned I'd need at least a 29 gallon aquatic turtle aquarium for a smallish turtle and the water has to be changed weekly. That leaves me out because I can barely lift my gallon watering can to maintain the plants on my deck. 

Still, I miss having a dog. I'd had one in my life from birth to when Levi died a few months before moving here to independent living. Long time readers might remember when I researched getting a cage of canaries and I decided against the idea. There are seven dogs and five cats living here now so I do get to pet a dog almost daily, but I don't think I could find two people who'd agree to care for a dog if something happened to me which is in a document we have to sign to have a dog or cat living with us, plus we pay a $1,000 deposit. That's one of the disadvantages of not having any children or grandchildren or a big estate where I could hire strangers from the pet trust lawyer here in town to be a dog's guardian. The document makes sense in a place like this where every week someone gets hauled off to the hospital. If that person had a pet, the concierge or security guard would call the pet's guardian to come pick it up for temporary or permanent care depending on the outcome of the medical emergency.

Another one of my current fascinations on Facebook are Neil Degrassee Tyson clips. He's an astrophysicist, author, Noble Prize winner and the host of a National Geographics TV show. Not bad for a man with only 132 IQ, which is notably higher than the average person on the street with sixty-eight percent of us falling between 85 and 115. But Neil's is a far cry from smarty-pants public figures like Bill Gates (IQ 150), Elon Musk (155), Mark Zuckerberg (152) and Sunny Doel's 166. What Tyson has that most of these other guys don’t is an ability to communicate advanced theories and technical stuff to ordinary people in a way that we understand it. 

Recently I saw an interview of Neil's where he was asked what happens to us after we die and they got to talking about 'green burials' which is what Neil wants done with his body. I first heard the term on the Netflix series Six Feet Under and the Green Bureau Council defines them this way: “Green burial is a way of caring for the dead with minimal environmental impact that furthers legitimate ecological aims such as the conservation of natural resources, reduction of carbon emissions, protection of worker health, and the restoration and/or preservation of habitat.” What they aren't saying is your body is wrapped in burlap and placed in a shallow grave where the worms and bugs help decompose the body and the open land itself can eventually be reclaimed by nature. 

Neil says he wants this type of burial "so that the energy content contained within it [his body] gets returned to the earth, so that flora and fauna can dine upon it, just as I have dined upon flora and fauna during my lifetime.” Not for me! I'd rather have the energy left in my dead body go up the smoke stack of a crematorium while its still legal. The National Death Centre says, "one cremation uses as much energy in the form of gas and electricity as a 500-mile car trip and releases a staggering 400 kilos of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, not to mention mercury vapor and other pollutants." 

Everything comes full circle if you give it enough time. I predict that 100 years from now our choices in deposing of our deceased will be between green burials and 'sky burials.' There are fourteen places in my state where green burials are legal now, but when I checked while I was binge watching Six Feet Under there were only a couple of places. So clearly this trend is becoming a real thing. They've got to be considerably cheaper without embalming, a casket, a cement vault or a cemetery marker which might account for the trend more than people being concerned about the environment.

Sky or celestial burials were used by indigenous populations and on every continent on earth dating back thousands of years. (How historians know this would fill an entire post.) Sky burials are still legal in Tibet and parts of India and there is a movement to bring them back as an Eco-friendly choice. A sky burial, in case you don't remember involve a raised platform or a tree and either fire or vultures. Yikes! I'm off to Facebook to find some puppy and kitten videos to replace that image in my head. But I'll leave you with this: If you haven't put your preferences in writing, you should because your next of kin might be a penny-pincher and choose something you (may) or may not like.

Until next Wednesday. © 

                      

Wednesday, April 5, 2023

Facebook Feeds - Love them or Hate Them

My cleaning service comes in the morning so I’ve been picking stuff up to get ready for her. Thank goodness she comes once a monthly, otherwise who knows what my apartment would look like.

While picking up today I ran across a letter my realtor sent and I didn’t have the heart to throw away. It said, “This summer remember that the world is your canvas. Use your biggest & boldest brush to paint the town red raspberry every once in a while. Laugh a lot. Believe in everything. Think beyond the box and color way outside those lines - there’s so much more room to be creative out there! Redefine impossible. Subscribe to the idea that the sky is not the limit. (Just ask the moon.) Take time to capture calm and clear your heart. Stop worrying so much. Dream up new ways to show love. Write letters with pens and paper, and develop a passion for giving. Try at least one thing you’ve never tried before. Make happy your most felt emotion. Be the kind of person that you’d love to meet. Stop and smell the remarkable. Find simplicity. Create harmony. Provide peace. Keep calm and smile on. Discover that the best memories really do come from the craziest ideas.” 
 
I googled the passage (and parts of the passage) and only found it in one place, on an Italian “lifestyle” Instagram account by Lorenzo Falkenburg. Words like that, that have the power to pump us up and remind us to be proactive in pursuit of happiness shouldn’t be passed around anonymously. I love the internet for making it easy to give credit where credit is do. (Hopefully.)

I love Facebook too even though a lot of people say its a waste of time and I'd agree if I didn't find more to smile or laugh about on my daily feeds than anything else. And since I’m always searching for blog fodder these are some of the things I saw this morning:


Once a week an art and wisdom meme shows and they are all lovely.

Unique Trees is one of my favorite feeds.
 
So is Lizmary's Cottage which posts mostly serene places in Europe.

This is from the Sketchbook Revival site where people post their latest work.


How could this not pull at your heart strings?

Another from Unique Tree.


This and several others up above from the Humor Lab.

Lizmary's Cottage

The trick to having a Facebook feed that pleases you is to not click on any advertisements. If something interests you go to Amazon (not google) and use their search feature for information. Also click the three dots in the upper right on Facebook things you don't want to see, then click on the 'hide' and check why you don't want to see it. It takes some time cut down on stuff you don't want but it's worth the effort. Aside from photos of family, I also see a lot of videos of puppies, kittens, elephants, pandas and two-toed sloths. They are my happy place. If friends or family post too much junk I don't care about I'll stop following them, just visit their page once in a while when I'm in the mood.

 
The Humor Lab

I get a lot of bird photography too.

A friend who has dealt with depression her entire life always posts memes like this.

 And I love arty-farty stuff like this, the best fingernail commercial you'll ever see.


Last but not least, none of us escapes the political posts on Facebook but you can cut down on those you don't want to see.  I get and welcome them from Pantsuit Nation, Occupy Democrats and a few other left leaning site.

Marjorie Taylor Greene


Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Battle Scars and Bloody Noses


Spoiler Alert: If you are a Trump supporter you may want to stop reading here. If you don't want to read a political post, please skip this one and come back on Saturday.

Wikipedia says that Brianna Wiest, the author of the meme up above is a twenty-eight year old "American writer and poet. She is best known for her prolific work on emotional intelligence. Her published works include the books 101 Essays to Change the Way You Think, The Truth About Everything, and The Human Element…”

I snatched the meme off Facebook and it spoke to me at a time when I was in a grumpy mood and dealing with a wee bit of depression that led me down a path I knew better than to set foot on, but I did it anyway. Yup, I engaged in an off-again, on-again all day Facebook debate with me on one side and five Trump supporters on the other side and by the end of the day we’d racked up over fifty comments back and forth. I was on a debate team in college, a second stringer, but I learned a lot, loved the process and the rules of engagement and for 3-4 years I was also a message board administrator on a website where I was in charge of giving members time-outs when angry exchanges got too hot and posting rules were broken. I debate fair and square and keep my cool as I did this time on Facebook. But Facebook doesn’t give time-outs and Trump supporters don’t care if they take their fights into the gutter with name calling and belittling those with opposing viewpoints and for that reason I rarely engage in political discussions on Facebook. That's to say I went into this slug-fest with my eyes wide open knowing I would become a pseudo punching bag but that doesn’t take the sting out of getting a bloody nose.

“Your Anger? It’s Telling You Where You Feel Powerless.” Oh, yes, Brianna, my anger is telling me I’m totally frustrated with the state of our nation and feeling as powerless as a dead kitten. We have a president who is incapable of empathy and compassion. He's incapable of bringing two sides of people together whether we're talking blacks and whites, Democrats and Republics, radicals and pacifists. He’s incapable of dealing with the Covid-19 epidemic or any other crisis that might come along.

“Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance.” Oh, yes, Brianna, I am without words to express the sadness, fear and hopelessness I feel over what is going on in our nation right now. As if the pandemic wasn’t bad enough, now we have Trump sending unidentified troops into Portland uninvited and unwanted by the state or city governments. "Tyranny creeps up on a nation and we’re witnessing its beginning here and now," according to Timothy Snyder, a professor of history at Yale University who in 2017 wrote: On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century. “Be wary of paramilitaries, "he said in an interview this week. "In 2017 the idea of unidentified agents in camouflage snatching leftists off the streets without warrants might have seemed like a febrile Resistance fantasy, Now it’s happening."

“Your fear? It’s telling you what you care about.” Oh, yes, Brianna, I care about this country, about its future and I fear that Trump is going to get reelected or if he doesn't, he'll weaken our democracy by not giving us a peaceful transition of power for the first time in our history. Part of the debate I took part in today was about voter suppression which, of course, no one but me thought it was a problem for people of color but voting by mail in their minds was full of run-away abuse---setting the table for claims of a rigged election if Trump loses. It came up because we’d been on the topic of the Black Lives Matters. Trump supporters do not distinguish between protesters and rioters and, according to them, just saying “black lives matter” is racist. I brought up the parable of the shepherd who has 100 sheep and one goes missing. When the shepherd leaves the 99 to go looking for the lost sheep, the 99 sheep cry, "But what about us, don't we matter?" And the shepherd says, "Of course you matter but you're not ones in danger. The one is." I read that in a sermon delivered by a Catholic Priest who was explaining to his congregation why the church supports the Black Lives Matter Movement. I hope his telling of the parable got a better reception than mine did.

“Your apathy? It’s telling you where you’re overextended and burnt out.” Yes, Brianna, that sentence really spoke to me because I haven't done anything but the bare necessity of living for over a week, checked out on life, which I’m guessing is why I needed a good slug-fest today to make me check back in and feel like I was adding something to the pool besides the pee others were leaving. We have a do-or-die election coming up and that should challenge us all to help by calling out outright lies within our realms of existence. When I saw the nasty meme about Black Lives Matter that started the whole debate thread I just had to put on my bathing suit and wade into the muddy water.

“Your feelings aren’t random, they are messengers. And if you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you, and tell you what you really need.” Okay, Brianna, I let my feelings hang out here on my blog and I want to thank you for this ‘conversation.’ You are a breath of fresh air after my day of collecting battle scars and a bloody nose. ©


NOTE: The two memes in this post were shared on my great-niece's Facebook page. It's what she does. Sometimes its surreal to see them show up alternating with the hate filled, misinformation posts from the Trump supporters on my husband's side of the family. Another prolific poster always adds beautiful photos of enchanting cottages into the mix I see on my Facebook feed, and another shares recipes. I've been on a kick lately of posting humorous kitten memes. My favorite posts are photos of the youngest little people in my family. That's Facebook---a microcosm of the world at large. The good, bad and the ugly. True or not, I like to think of myself as a student of human nature which is why I don't unfriend the relatives who irritate the living stuffing out of me...just in case you were about to suggest that I do so.

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Sleepless Night, Day of Laughter and Evening of Indecision


I couldn’t sleep. Even after taking 10 mg of Melatonin at 11:00 PM and an Ambien sleeping pill at 2:00 AM my brain just wouldn’t give up on plotting and planning my future and related life choices. At one point in the night I heard a train whistle coming from the tracks five miles away which was probably the toxic chemicals train that moves ever so slowly through our states in the dead of night and the sound of it made me think of a song Elvis Presley used to sing and Hank Williams before him:

Hear that lonesome whippoorwill
He sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
I'm so lonesome I could cry

I've never seen a night so long
When time goes crawling by
The moon just went behind the clouds
To hide its face and cry

It was after 4:30 AM when I finally fell asleep according to my Fitbit and I woke up at 10:00 because the dog wanted to go outside. I’m so lonesome I could die. Yup, I admit it. If not for the dog I’d measure time in between meaningful contact with other living beings in weeks, not days. And I have no one else to blame but myself. My social life for the past nine months has been pared down to one lecture a month at the senior hall, two brunches a month with my Gathering Girls pals and one house cleaning appointment. 

It was bright and sunny the day after my sleepless night when I met with six if my gal pals and it was just what I needed to turn my dark mood around. We talked about silly things like how many of those at the table were crushing on football player Jimmy Garoppole who, they said, looks just like Tyrone Power. I had no idea who Jimmy is and I couldn’t remember how Tyrone looked but like a table full of teenagers, someone got out her phone to google their photos. I never crushed on Tyrone back in my youth but I have to admit that Jimmy’s got the most kissable-looking lips I’ve seen in a long time. Not that I made a habit of looking at men's lips...I'm just sayin'. And since the Super Bowl was on the table for conversation another crushable guy in the senior set was brought up---Sam Elliot. He was in the Doritos commercial and, of course, when I got home that commercial was the first thing I entered into my computer's search bar. I have a hard time separating him from his politics but my friends were right, the commercial was fun to watch.

Oops, make that four living beings I connect with each month. I forgot about a monthly call I get from a high school friend of my husband’s. We talk politics and have been since my husband died, and before that it was my husband who got the calls to talk about the state of the union. I used to enjoy our talks but this past year he’s been a pot that’s boiled over and if I try to temper his anger he yells so loud I have to hold the phone away from my ear. Several times I’ve told him, “We’re on the same side, guy. Please don’t yell at me.” That usually happens if I try to explain why the Right sees an issue differently than we do. Every coin has two sides, I tell him, and if we're ever going to find our way back to a world where compromise in government is not a dirty word we need to listen to what others have to say.

The idea of listening to the other side was tested a few nights ago when one of my in-laws posted a meme on FaceBook that supposedly revealed the name of the whistle blower that led to Trump's impeachment. I struggled with posting a comment something like, “How are you going to feel if this person gets murdered and it turns out he wasn’t even the whistle blower?” I didn’t do it because I know I’d get labeled “ignorant.” It happened once when I did comment on this in-law's political post and of all the words in the English language that one is capable of wounding me more than most. In the same hour she posted the whistle blower meme she posted another one from a Catholic Church site about being kind to one another. I don’t understand how someone can separate the promotion of kindness from their own mean-spirited action of sharing a conspiracy site meme bent on outing a whistle blower whose identity is supposed to be protected by law. Does goodness and evil so easily live side-by-side in all of us? Granted in the realm of good vs evil actions my in-law’s Facebook posts are minor. But maybe the more often we allow ourselves to do small acts of wrong doing the easier it becomes to commit bigger and bigger acts until they truly do cross the line over to evil? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know a mean girl's post when I see it and if I were her priest I'd make her stand in a corner until she admits that Jesus would not support a man like Donald Trump.

In the whistle blower meme it said to share the post “right away before Facebook takes it down.” The next day Facebook did just that. ©
Thank you, Facebook!