Reading, Writing and Why did I do That?

By Wednesday I still didn’t know what I wanted to write about for my Saturday blog post. I had no choice but to hope my attendance at book club the next day would give me a theme and if not, I planned on taking myself out to lunch afterward for some good old fashioned people watching. That's always good for a few paragraphs. Living alone means nothing remotely interesting ever happens here unless I want to bet with myself on which chair the dog will sleep in next. He’s got three. I’ve got one so that tells you something about the hierarchy in this household. 

The Invention of Wings by Susan Monk Kidd was up for discussion in book club and we all liked it, with one woman saying she loved the book. For her, a book passes over into the “love” category when it inspires her to research the subject matter after reading the final chapter. And she brought in some photos of the mansion in Charleston, South Carolina, where much of the story was set. It's a fictionalized depiction of the Grimke sisters---Sarah and Angelina---who were raised in a household that owned slaves and who ended up becoming the first female abolition agents. They were also among the first Suffragettes. The author used their actual letters, diaries, speeches and newspaper reports to research for the book and to flesh out these real-life social justice pioneers. It’s estimated that over forty thousand people heard the sisters lecture on the evils of slavery in just one year and they dedicated their adult lives to the cause. The book starts out on Sarah’s twelfth birthday when she was given a ten-eleven year old slave to be her maid and from then on every other chapter is written from the slave’s point of view with the opposite chapters written from Sarah’s viewpoint.  

Our discussion was going along great with everyone offering up answers to the official book discussion guide questionnaire. Questions like: Did your opinion of slavery change while reading the book? Has women’s achievements in history been lost or overlooked? What do you think it takes to be a reformer today? It wasn’t until we got to the very last question in the last five minutes of book club that things went off the rails. The question was: How has slavery left its mark on American life? Everyone tippy-toed around racism---yadda, yadda, yadda---until someone said, “Our president is making it worse.” Another lady jumped in milliseconds later with, “No, he’s not! He’s doing everything just right!” Silence fell over the room before the facilitator recovered enough to say something to placate both ladies. In my head I was yelling, “Are you crazy!?” 

Speaking of books, a new member in our club recently self-published a book and she put us in an awkward position when she asked us all to read and discuss it. We agreed but she didn’t tell us that we’d have to pay full price for the ‘privilege.’ Okay, that sounds snotty but I have self-published five trade size books and I know they didn’t cost her anywhere near the $20 each that she charged us. That was last month. No one in the club knew until this week that I also write and have self-published. Why did I make the scary decision to out myself? Probably because I was jealous? But of what---that she was getting a lot of attention or that she found it so easy to brag about her accomplishment? Who knows why, but I am sure that I didn’t like how she was carrying on about the "amazing experience of being a published author." Give it a rest, lady, I was thinking, SELF-publishing isn’t such a big deal. Anyone can with the desire and a few bucks can do it.

I outed myself this week by bringing in a copy of one of my books to give to our facilitator. She reads to a group in the assisted living place where she works and she had mentioned they love stories about dogs. The book I gave her (before the other club members got there) is written in the voices of two dogs---one on earth and one who resides at the Rainbow Bridge. It’s not book club material, but it’s filled with humor and a few tears. I have no idea what I expect to gain from my boldest in giving her the book, but I do know that my writing can hold its own against the other self-published writer in our group. God, am I petty or competitive or what? I'm at a loss to explain my reactions to that woman. She makes me feel like I'm living in Lee Ann Womack's country western song: "She may be an angel who spends all winter bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner, a regular Nobel Peace Prize winner. But I really hate her. I'll think of a reason later."

It will be a whole month before I find out how my book was received at the assisted living place and if the facilitator will mention it in front of the whole club, but she seemed thrilled to give it a try. I admire her skill at deescalating touchy discussions and inspiring positive conversations so I’m pretty sure she won’t pan my book just for the fun of seeing my self-esteem crumb in front of her eyes. ©