“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean
Showing posts with label shoulder pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shoulder pain. Show all posts

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Agility, Tea Sets and the Power of Good Intentions



The dog is doing his cat impression, sprawled out in a bright ray of sun coming in through the glass dining room door. He looks contented surrounded by his stuffies and with a full belly, a canine smile on his sleepy face. If I could get down on the floor, I’d cuddle up with him. Correction: Getting down on the floor isn’t the problem, getting back up with my two fake knees and screwed-together elbow would be the problem. I’d have to butt-crawl my way into the bathroom and use the safety rail in there to help me get to my feet. It works. I’ve had to do it twice in twelve years when I’ve fallen. If I miss anything about being young, I’d say it would be having the agility to do whatever I want physically and that’s something we rarely appreciate when we have it.

Let’s back up here to the part about missing anything about being young. There are other things about being young that I miss besides agility. Being taken seriously is something I see slipping away as I age. It sneaks up on us in the form of “dear” and “sweetie” coming out of the mouths of people in health care and the service industry. It comes in the form of a postal clerk being shocked when I mentioned that I’m going to text my niece that a package is on the way. “You text!” she said. “Why, yes,” I told her. “It isn’t rocket science.” Sure, I have gray hair and was born before television but why do people assume that means I’m still using a candle stick telephone? Well, I do have one in the bedroom but it’s not connected to a service line. A tech-smart kid could probably turn it into a novelty cell phone, though. I read an article about a kid who turns ancient, manual typewriters into computer keyboards. Very cool! I want one.

Back on topic: I also miss the feeling that the world is a wonderful place that keeps getting better with every decade. When I was young I thought all we had to do to have a successful life is to leave the world a little better than we found it. And try as I may, I can’t see how that is going to be enough in this age of terrorism and political infighting. My head tells me I just have to readjust my time-table and remember that the world actually does get better with each century, however that doesn’t cancel out the growing pains we have to live through. But my heart still wants to see the world through the same rose-colored glasses of my youth. When I was young I wanted the Peace Corp to bring peace in my life time. I wanted the United Nations to unite all nations. I still want projects like Playing for Change to actually change things. In other words my younger self wanted the people of the world to all be singing kumbaya in the streets by the time I die. I’d probably have to live another three hundred years for that to come about. But that wide-eyed, naive view of the power of good intentions, thank goodness, can still be found. I saw it yesterday in a news story about a little girl who started her own lending library for kids in a local hospital. I saw it on the news last month about a little boy who collects blankets for the 793 homeless people in town. (Yes, they actually do an annual census count of the homeless.) Hope for a better world is not dead it just starts at a younger age than it did in my day. These kids were eight and nine. I was twenty when I first thought we could save the world with good intentions.

I bought a tin tea set that comes in a tin box to celebrate the upcoming birth of my niece’s first granddaughter. The tea set is so cute with its old fashioned concept and its updated colors. I know, I’m a couple of years too early for a gift like that but I couldn’t help myself. My niece has a long-ago history of having tea with my mom and I so want to honor those memories by encouraging my niece to carry on the ‘tea party’ tradition with her grandchildren. That may not come to pass---kids are different now days---but I do know my niece will pass on the tradition of encouraging little kids to believe in themselves and playing by the rules of life. She’s a great mother and will be an even greater grandmother. The continuum of life and traditions goes on.

And for me, life going on means I saw my orthopedic doctor this week, a follow-up appointment to the shoulder surgery I had last fall.  I’m still restricted from starting therapy, picking anything up, shoveling snow or bench pressing. Darn, I really wanted to do the latter! We’re letting the nerves calm down that are causing pain just above the elbow---they all feed through the surgical area.  I go back in three weeks. Thankfully, this is the same arm with the screwed-together elbow, so I still have one good limb in case, someday, I throw caution to the winds and get down on the floor to sunbath with the dog. ©

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Bones, the OP Fairy and my Niece



Next winter when I’m snowed in I know I will look back at the statement I’m about to make and think I was crazy for saying it. But here it goes: Hallelujah, I have four whole days with nothing written on the calendar! That’s not exactly true, I could go to a slide presentation at the museum tonight but my after-dark driving is going to have to wait until after I have cataract surgery. “They’re not big enough yet,” the ophthalmologist said, “but soon. Maybe next summer.” Oh, goody, another gift from the Old People Fairy.

At night when pain from my bad bones wakes me up and I can’t fall back to sleep it’s hard for me to stop plotting ways to assassinate that Old People Fairy. I gave up on the idea of wringing her neck. After a summer of having my shoulder joint pop in and out of its socket I’d probably hurt myself more than I’d hurt that evil fairy. I gave up on the idea of kicking her butt because one of my knee joints is too painful and bending it is impossible without major fanfare. In the middle of the night the Old People Fairy just laughs at my currant aches and pains and reminds me that someday I’ll be at the mercy of a nursing home aide who may or may not like her job. I tell her I don’t like to borrow trouble from the future but that evil fairy knows me too well. “Yes, you do,” she taunts, “you’re always trying to come up with plans A, B and C  so you can give yourself the illusion that you’ll always remain in control of your future. But you’re not. I am!”  After one too many arguments with that bitch, I rolled out of bed one morning and made an appointment with my orthopedic doctor. Can we all shout out, “Hallelujah"? Help is on the way!

I saw Dr. Bone Guy yesterday and I got better news than I expected on my knee. When you imagine the worst that’s not hard to do. I imagined the knee replacement in my left knee---I’ve had them both replaced---had completely worn out after only seven years or it was out of line and either way I’d have to have another surgery. I imagined he’d say, “You’re a bad old lady! You shouldn’t have been doing Zumba in the first place!” What he did say was: “Both prosthetics still look great, no wear pattern, nothing out of line, the spacing between the top and bottom joints are still exactly as they should be.” He gave me a 12 day round of prednisone to cure the pain and stiffness and told me that in a couple of weeks I co-o-o-uld go back to Zumba but he’d much prefer I found a less intense workout in a swimming pool. Prescription: Build a swimming pool in the backyard or move to a condo with amenities. “Great!” says my Debby Downer persona, “that’s not likely to happen anytime soon.” “What about the YMCA just three miles away?” you’re asking. “They have a pool.” Three miles might as well be three hundred when there’s six feet of snow on the ground. I shall grow fat and sassy over the winter and join the Y in the spring. So there!

Dr. Bone Guy is a god in my family. He’s our go-to-guy for all deep dives when it involves a structural problem with our bones. When I saw him yesterday I also found out I probably have the exact same thing as my niece’s daughter-in-law. “It’s likely a labrum tear in your shoulder joint,” he said. Then he gave me a cortisone shot as part of the diagnosis process and I have to go back in two weeks. At the worst, I’ll need an hour operation to fix it. All those trips to the chiropractor this summer, when it felt like the joint was out of its socket, were a waste of time and money because that can’t cure the underlying problem. You don't have to write that on a chalkboard for me to remember, wasn't I the one who called Dr. Bone Guy in the first place? I just should have called him sooner. Oops.

My niece takes her daughter-in-law back to Dr. Bone Guy tomorrow and she’s going to call me with details on how her cortisone test shot went and what her next steps will be, but she’s a nursing mother so she might be delaying her surgery if that’s practical and won’t cause more damage. But the best part of my conversation with my niece was when I mentioned I was worried about driving myself home from the surgery, and she said---without the slightest hesitation---that she and my other niece can work something out on that. I could have cried from relief! They both live a great distance away so this is not a small commitment, but in the middle of the night when I’m arguing with the Old People Fairy, it’s the biggest issue on earth. I visualize myself getting permanently admitted to a nursing home, kicking and screaming, for lack of a ride home from a minor surgery. My nieces are both new grandmothers and if you believe the Republican pundits on TV, first time grandmothers don’t have time for things like running for president and helping out old aunts. Ohmygod, I should wash my fingertips off with soap for typing that last sentence and bringing politics into my blog. What I should be saying instead is that after the conversations with Dr. Bone Guy and my niece I feel like I can stuff that Old People Fairy back in her box and pile rocks on top. That will teach her for annoying me in the middle of the night. ©