Did I Say That Out Loud?

When I wrote about getting invited to a new neighbor’s house for a night of “fellowship and a Christian movie” one of my blogger friends asked if it was a monthly Bible study. Ohmygod that thought never occurred to me and it should have since they’re common in my part of the state. At least it gave me time to think about what I’d say to excuse myself if I found myself in a prayer circle and I was the only one without a Bible in my lap. “You’re sitting here with a heathen,” was the first thing that came to mind but I doubt I would have voiced that out loud. At least I hope not. Some of the words coming out of my mouth lately shock even me. Thankfully, there was no prayer involved when movie night rolled around and I was introduced to Chonda Pierce via a DVD, a Christian comedian. I’d never heard of her but her Wikipedia page is impressive---Daytime Emmy Nominations, the “Queen of Clean”, Opryland for six years imitating Minnie Pearl, etc. She’s a beautiful singer, too, and the daughter of a southern minister. 

The DVD was titled, Did I Say that Out loud? Right away I was intrigued since that’s a question I’ve asked myself a quite a few times. Chonda’s humor could be called observational comedy, defined as poking fun at everyday life. Aside from a half dozen 'churchy' jokes that went right over my head, I enjoyed the video. At one point Ms. Pierce used the term, “My friend is a shrink” and one of the ladies attending movie night asked, “What’s a shrink?” and another woman answered, “I think she means a psychiatrist.” I added, “Yup, that’s the slang word for them” but I was thinking, I cannot believe an adult didn’t already know that! She didn’t look like she’d been living on a Tibetan mountain top or in a French convent with no contact with the outside world. When I got home I couldn't resist googling the origins of the slang and I learned it’s been around since at least 1950 when a Time Magazine article said, “…anyone who had predicted the phenomenal success of the television Western ‘Hopalong Cassidy’ would have been sent to a ‘headshrinker’” and a footnote explained that ‘shrink’ was Hollywood slang for a psychiatrist. 

Not much chic-chat came with movie night but I did learn that my neighbor taught high school drama, music and literature for 22 years before her Parkinson’s made that impossible. I like her---at lot---but even with my hearing aids in I have too much trouble hearing her whisper soft voice so I was glad to learn that she does do email. (Last night while listening to the local news I couldn’t figure out how someone could die from “loading porn.” Jeez, how is that possible? I thought, thinking the porn was downloading on a computer. Turns out the reporter was saying “loading corn.” That's a typical egg-on-my-face hearing mix up I'll make.)

By the next morning my neighbor had already emailed me a thank-you-for-coming message and we’ve exchanged our whole life stories via emails that rival the length of the blog entries I write. In my last reply I included this: “I must tell you, I'm not a religious person or a church goer but I do consider myself to be spiritual---Oprah style if you know what I mean. If I did ever consider going to a church it would be the Unitarian Universal Church because they believe there are many paths to God.” Okay, the ball is in her court and depending on which church she’s affiliated with, she’ll either cool to me or be open-minded and I will have acquired a penpal I can literally see if we’re both at the right windows at the same time.  

This week was also the last of The Matter of Balance classes (that is taught the same way nationwide). Eight weeks, two hours a session. I still think the material could/should be presented in half that time and their videos need updating to this century but the exercises we learned are good and the comradery and laughter experienced made it worth going, even though I had to drag myself kicking and screaming a few times. In my postmortem on my often negative reaction to this class I must acknowledge that the timing was poor. In October/early November I was already over-scheduled with getting my health-related appointments out of the way and house, yard and car ready for winter. While I knew that going in I felt I had to take this class (on preventing falls) because it’s rarely offered. I’m scared to death of falling and I’ll end up laying on the floor so long the dog will get hungry enough to eat my dead flesh. 

On that morbid note, I have a Thanksgiving luncheon to attend today. I haven’t been able to find any turkey legs in the grocery stores so this might be the only turkey I get this year. Boo, boo if I get served white when I love dark. Do you think if I cried loud enough someone would trade with me? ©