Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Freebies, Dogs and Politics


I’m so cold and I don’t see that changing until next July. The only time I’ve been warm since last summer was when I went to the orphan train lecture at a near-by continuum care campus a couple of weeks ago. That particular campus costs $3,000 a month to live in two rooms and a bathroom (half the size that I’ll be getting for $2,000 a month) so they should be generous with the heat! Part of their marketing plan is to invite the public in for their daily happy hours---yes, with free drinks, a piano bar and sing-alongs---and their monthly entertainment programs like the lecture. This was my third time going there but even if I could afford to live there, the location and the fact that it’s not dog friendly took it off my list of possibilities. Two ladies I know from the senior hall live there and they love it and I can attest to the fact that the food is as good as you'd get in any better restaurant in town. Giving free luncheons to groups of people with gray hair is also part of their marketing plan, been invited and went twice.

It’s twenty degrees outside and I’m typing with fingerless gloves on my hands, leg warmers under my sweat pants, and an undershirt under my sweat shirt. My thermostat is set at 70 degrees but I have so many windows it’s hard to keep the house warm and still be able to pay the gas bills. At least the dog is warm now. I felt sorry for him having to do guard duty laying on the cold, kitchen floor so I bought him a second dog bed. Lately he’s been getting clingy, wanting to be near me when I’m working on the computer thus he’s been laying where I can’t escape without him noticing. The bed killed two birds with one stone. I put it just off to the side so I can still pass by him if I want to get a cup of coffee or a reference book out of my dwindling library. I hated feeling trapped!

In January Levi will be twelve and I’m seeing signs that he’s getting older and the clinginess is starting to worry me. It’s totally out of character for him not to be kick-ass independent and fearless. I don’t know if he’s developing a health issue or if all the moving stuff out of and around inside the house is making him uneasy. Other than when I was away at college, I’ve never lived without a dog or two in the house and even then I could come home on the weekends and catch up on canine companionship. I dread Levi dying more than any other dog I’ve had, knowing he might be my last. But I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. No sense worrying about what’s on the other side just yet but color me blue when I look at him sleeping in his new bed.

Spoiler alert for Trump fans: You may want to quit reading here. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged anything political which I limit to doing at least ten posts apart. The last time I did I ticked of another blogger so much that she said she was taking me off her blog roll and demanded that I take her out of mine. Heaven forbid a flaming liberal, who had never made a single political comment on her blog, should lay eyes on her very public blog. Do you detect a little sarcasm in that statement? Why, yes you do. I don’t believe in closing your eyes and sticking your fingers in your ears and singing, “La, la, la” at the top of your lungs just because others don’t agree with your political leanings. But that’s a liberal for you.

I watched all the impeachment inquiry witnesses who testified this week. It's no surprise that during and afterward right wingers were closing their eyes, sticking their fingers in their ears and singing, “La, la, la” and besmirching impeccable, career patriots like Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch and William Taylor Jr and George Kent, the diplomats to Ukraine, mostly without even listening to a word that they testified to under oath. Well, one Republican was watching. Trump live-tweeted insults about Yovanovitch while she testified: "Everywhere Marie Yovanovitch went turned bad. She started off in Somalia, how did that go?" President Bone Spurs, she took hardship posts in very dangerous countries. You obviously don't understand what that means. She didn't CAUSE their decades of civil unrest, she was sent there by Reagan because of it. Her response to that nasty tweet? "Where I served over the years, I and others have demonstrably made things better, for the U.S. as well as for the countries I’ve served in.” Classy reply to a classless man.

Bill Clinton was impeached for lying about getting a consensual blowjob in the Oval Office. That almost seems quaint compared to what is going on now. Two of the most vocal players during that impeachment hearing---Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell---seem to have left their sense of standards and ethics for presidential behavior back in the last century. It’s becoming perfectly clear that Trump is guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors, yet these two senators and other Trump fan boys want us all to ignore the facts. Trump has become a willing (or clueless) pawn of Russia's, helping them in their war/aggression toward Ukraine to expand their borders. "And that," quoting Forrest Gump, "is all I’ve got to say about that" except to say that the impeachment inquiry is so much bigger than about one infamous phone call. ©

44 comments:

  1. Just a note here: I'm far (very far) from a fan of President Trump, but these days I pass by nearly all political opinion content. I keep up with the news, and have a broad array of sources for that, but no matter a person's political stance -- liberal, conservative, libertarian, or populist/reactionary -- I don't have the time or energy to consume it all, or to engage in discussions about what's unfolding in D.C. and across the country. I do engage in particular ways, but online isn't my choice.

    It's not just politics, either. Whenever I come across blog entries filled with snark, name-calling, obscene language, or simple stupidity (not yours, by the way) I quietly go away. Sometimes I come back, and sometimes I don't. As the computer programmers used to say, and still might, "Garbage in, garbage out." As Annie Dillard puts it in The Writing Life, "[the writer]
    is careful of what he reads, for that is what he will write."

    Now, I'm off to finish my cyber chores, have a bit of breakfast, and head off to somewhere with my camera. The news (and the packing) can wait!

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    1. Believe me, I weighted out in my mind whether or not I wanted to risk losing anymore readers by posting my impressions of what is going on in the hearings right now. But in the end, I decided this blog is about me---my life, my feelings and my observations of the world around me. I've been interested in politics since Eisenhower and to not express my views here when our county is at such an important junction because someone might not like them seems wrong on so many levels. But I will always give those who come here to read fair warning either in the title or with a spoiler alert so they can back away when I do post something political. And, like I said in the post I limit how often I do post controversial stuff.

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    2. "I decided this blog is about me -- my life, my feelings, and my observations of the world..." Exactly right. A blog friend who died years ago (and who had a very successful blog) once told me that the little saying, "My blog, my rules" is perfectly acceptable, as long as those rules are clear, equitably enforced, and rule-breakers are given a second chance. That sounded good to me, and still does.

      Besides, blog entries are like television programs. If a certain episode doesn't grab us, we're perfectly free to change the channel and give it a try next time!

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  2. Your use of the word "besmirching" is spot on and I will, with your permission, be using it to describe the GOP's latest response to quality. I like it when you write about politics, but understand why you don't talk about it more. Many people are scared of the topic-- or they are clueless about/ indifferent to how far this country has fallen during the Trump years. Makes me sad on both counts.

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    1. I think that's the first time I've ever used that word in writing, but then we never had so any public examples of it. I present like to you (and others) to take and run with it.

      I agree with the other point in your comment. In addition to making me sad, it makes me scared for our future.

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  3. I too think Marie is getting smacked around unfairly and a bit scarily. Fine reward for 30 years of great service. Only watched part of the hearings. I do hate squabbling and kind of wait for the cliff notes version. We so need to bring this man down.

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    1. I was purging books in my library while it was on so and it distracted me from the tough decisions I was making.

      I think Trump's live-tweeting to bad-mouth her even shocked some Republicans. And the way she was told to leave the country would have been SO scarily and was meant to threaten her in the same way Trump's firing of Rex Tillerson---insisting on talking to him while he was sitting on the toilet and making that public---was meant to embarrass him. He's such a vindictive and petty person!

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  4. After three years of "besmirching" civil servants who have a much better understanding of what it means to serve one's country and the rule of law, I have an open-ended suggestion: all government bureaucrats who deeply believe in their oath of office should put down their pen, keyboard, or smartphone, and walk out of the door. That includes all the intelligence agencies, diplomatic corps, Pentagon workers...anyone with an agency or branch that he has made clear he does not hold in any respect.

    The government functions because of the hundreds of thousands of people like Ms. Yovanovitch. Trump does not deserve one more moment of their time and soul. A mass walkout would be an incredibly patriotic (and personally gutsy) decision. It would leave the Orange joker with empty buildings, unanswered phones, and no one to carry out his increasingly dangerous and unstable decisions. 51 Republican senators and the few remaining sycophants who hover around his royal presence would not be enough to accomplish anything.

    I am pretty sure that the tens of millions of Americans who are fed up with the current situation would rally around the true patriots with financial and moral support as they help bring Trump to his dimpled and overweight knees.

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    1. I live in Trump country so it's kind of hard for me to believe your last paragraph would happen should there be a massive walk out of civil servants. What Trump's administration has taught me is that a lot of people I know personally don't really know or care about the rule of law and they actually LIKE Trump's reckless and dictator-want-a-be style.

      One thing I know for sure is that it's going to get worse before it gets better...and I can only hope that it WILL get better.

      Thank you so much for chiming in here. I value your opinions and your blog.

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    2. 64 million voted for someone not named Trump in 2016. That means there should be plenty of support available for enough government workers to exercise their sworn oath to the rule of law and bring his dictator-in-training approach to a halt.

      On a daily basis my wife is urging me to seriously consider where else we can live if Trump dodges this bullet and somehow is reelected in 2020. America's experiment in democracy will end and she doesn't want to be here when that happens.

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    3. Your wife's thoughts have crossed my mine as well. If he gets re-elected do I really want to live in a country where so many people can't see the man for what he truly is? Or worse yet, sees it and doesn't care.

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  5. Sometimes we just can't help but complain on our blogs. I understand that there is a big divide on opinions of our President. I know I read too many articles slanted against him because that is how I feel and that is what I want to read. If I start an article that is pro-Trump, I quickly shut it down. I have had to delete or erase some posts that I have written while I am particularly aggravated about him but that is the world we live in - instant news in, opinions out.

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    1. The internet and twitter sure have contributed to the divide, hasn't it. Not only to do we have the mainstream media feeding us information and opinions, we have every Tom, Dick and Harry in our lives offering up the same. Still, I feel we need to remember the lesson learned from early in Hitler's Germany when people stayed silent until it was too late to speak up. Where Trump is involved, it's not just a debate about Republican goals vs Democratic goals, it's a debate about the moral standards we want in our leaders. And that changes everything for me.

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  6. I can empathize about aging dogs. Bosko is a 65 lb 13 year old dog who was rescued when he was 14 weeks old. Such a love.

    If we can get Trump to STOP tweeting .... maybe we could all chip in and pay Twitter to shut the whole system down until a new President has been elected. Lead by example, not by electronics.

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    1. Levi and Bosko aren't far apart in age but large dogs live longer. I got Levi at 8 weeks, on sale at a pet store.

      Trump doesn't have the impulse control to stop using Twitter. He's using it as a substitute for press conferences and I hope the next president goes back to that and doesn't use Twitter at all, except for maybe social stuff like pictures of the first family dog or kids.

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  7. Way to go Jean. I totally agree with you dealing with baby Trump. I've never seen such an ass and the Republicans must be crazy if the continue backing him up. Jim Jordon is a complete jerk.
    I agree with you, I'm freezing all the time. Since I turned 70, my entire body is changing. ( it started way before 70 )
    Don't worry about Levi. I think all the changing is affecting him a little. Once you at the new place, he'll be OK. See ya my friend.

    Cruisin Paul

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    1. Jim Jordon is a complete jerk both in the House and his personal life.

      My thyroid (or lake there of) is responsible for me being cold all the time. Not much I can do about it but layer on the clothing and complain.

      Levi probably is stressed because I've been doing a lot of work in HIS library.

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    2. My wife Mary Lou has only one thyroid. She was born that way but it doesn't bother her as far as I know. I love her that way. LOL See ya.

      Cruisin Paul

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    3. I wish I could say that, Paul. All my heath issues are caused by a life time of an under functioning thyroid.

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  8. Yes to all of it. The hearings gave me a glimpse of some actual patriots who have devoted their lives to service of our country. Such a striking contrast to the Idiot in Chief with the team of sycophants behind him. It's just shocking on a daily basis...I have massive Trump fatigue. Another four years is just unimaginable to me. Like you, I'm in Trump country, and I continue to be amazed by some of the people who STILL support him. His statement that he could shoot someone on Fifth Ave wasn't far off. It's as though he's turned the country into a bad reality show. I really, really hope his crazy show is cancelled next year. If not, I can't imagine my level of angst and depression.

    Our dog is a 12-1/2 yo rescue (lab/German shorthair mix), and we find he gets really clingy and nervous if he senses we're going somewhere or changing things up. So hopefully Levi is just anxious about all the downsizing and will rally when you move. We do see signs of age in our dog, but he's pretty hardy so far. That said, he does love to sleep by the fireplace more than he used to.

    It is cold, and I'm living in fuzzies and extra layers. Brrr. Like you, I'll be warm in spring and summer, but probably not before. :0)

    P.S. Jim Jordan is a despicable human.

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    1. Ditto to everything you said! I was proud of our country, listening to the three witnesses this week. They were intelligent, precise with their answers and their non-partisan biographies were stellar. I can't wait to hear Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman testify next Wednesday. He's not going to be easy for Trump's fan boys to put down.

      Am I remembering right that we live in the same county or at least adjoining counties in West Michigan?

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    2. You are indeed remembering right! And it's been darn cold here lately. :-)

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  9. Your blog, your rules, Jean. Write about what you want. Nobody is being forced to read blogs at gunpoint so those belonging to the Trump cult are free to mosey along if something you write offends them.
    My Lucy’s personality changed when she got older and started losing her sight and hearing. She became fearful of things that never bothered her before. Maybe that is also happening to Levi? I hope you have many more happy years together.

    Deb

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    1. Levi sees good enough to see the two new puppies across the street playing in their new fenced yard and his hearing is better than mine, but I did have a dog who's personality changed because her hearing went. Because of her, Levi knows both voice and hand gesture commands.

      My last political post, like this one, had politics in the title line, giving a person fair warning not to click the link if you want to live without political discourse in your life. I don't like offending anyone but she had fair warning which is more than we all get on Facebook when our friends and family spam us with political stuff.

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  10. I say good for you for taking a stand against the current corruption now occupying the White House!! Like you, I have always wondered how Hitler got as far as he did and it was because people did not raise a ruckus faster. Every citizen in this country is in imminent danger of losing this country to evil. And it isn't just trump..its the gop who are defending his Nazi ass. I think Russia has dirt on every single Epstein lovin sob in the senate..with maybe a couple of exceptions. I have cut several people from my life, including my only brother because of their love of this idiot or because they think ignoring it will make it go away or offend someone. We are being challenged and I, for one, intend to stand up for decency and democracy. I don't have a blog..yet..but if and when I do, I damn sure don't want any Nazi followers. So good on you for having a backbone.
    I am hoping all is well with your sweet dog.

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    1. It's like we live in two different countries now, isn't it. Trump supporters have a million excuses why it's okay for him to break every ethical and moral standard---the lying, bullying, cheating and deceit---but wouldn't let their children or grand-kids get away with doing the same. I honestly don't understand it unless we can label them all brain-washed by the likes of FOX opinion shows. I watched some of them today and they are doing their best to get their viewers not to watch any of the impeachment witnesses. Ya, I can see why they are afraid to let them see them and make up their own minds what's going on.

      Thanks for raising YOUR voice.

      I

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  11. I haven't owned a television in 14 years. I get my news from many different sources on the internet and never, ever, from fox or NASA. I make up my mind after careful study. I am astounded by the people who park themselves in front of fox and let themselves be told that what they just heard, is not what they just heard. NPR, and MTPR, are doing the same thing. I didn't send them any money. You are correct. We are a divided country. Just like in the civil war. Russia took over this country and never fired off so much as a pea shooter. Are you aware of Mike Pence's brother and his part in this impeachment? I got cold chills when I read about this LAST week. So I will now stop my rant. Thank you for your bravery. And,.."Love your enemies, but keep your guns oiled".

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    1. Yes, you can bet Congressman Greg Pence, who sits on the House Foreign Affairs Committee and has access to all the closed door testimony in the House, is leaking it to the White House. He was asked to recuse himself and he wouldn't. Beyond that if there is more to know, I don't it.

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  12. Continue sharing your life and thoughts. I agree that if people don't like a post they don't have to read it. You would be cheating yourself and us if you you were afraid to talk about things that you deeply care about.

    I'm not watching the hearings, but read summaries. I'm more worried about the Democrats leaning too far to the left and Trump getting elected again. Not to mention the runaway deficits accepted by both parties.

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    1. I'm worried about the same thing! Pete Buttigieg shows promise as being in middle of the road and as smart as they come but I'm worried he can't get elected in the general election. What I'm hoping is that Trump will get a serious challenge from another Republican in the primaries. What we need is a choice between two moral and ethic people to pick from where the country will be in good hands no matter which one wins.

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  13. It's so hard to watch our dogs age. Molly is everything to me♥
    I bought myself a fleece vest to wear inside the house when I feel cold and it does keep me warm until the heat clicks on. My thermostat is set at 66.

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    1. I love your Molly, so much personality in her smiling face.

      Great minds think the same. I started wearing a quilted vest inside the house this season, too. I keep my thermostat at 70 but when I have the TV on it warms up the space around it so the rest of the house gets colder than 70. As the winter goes on I will drop the thermostat down to 68 but I do it in stages.

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  14. I agree with your comments on Mr. Trump. I have stopped calling his President as I feel that office is actually sitting vacant until the next election. My God how I wish that was true.

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    1. Me too and I've never felt that any other president was putting us in serious physical peril by his incompetence.

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  15. I'm worried about Levi too but I will hope it has something to do with the disturbance in the force due to moving. And possibly, the cold weather we've had. Just wanting to be close. Twelve IS old and it's hard to come to terms with that. Those of us who've had beloved pet family members and have seen that change know what you are experiencing and I know really feel for you. I'm still going to hope for disturbance in the force with the changes occurring.

    As for the other -- UGH. But I have been SO impressed with the riveting hearings and how these men and woman with such integrity have kept their cool, taken the heat and helped carry forward the narrative of what is really quite scary and horrible. I wish that Marie Yavonovich was MSU's new president. (Or the old one) She never would have let Larry Nassar happen. I do worry about the general election, though. I'm afraid my favorite candidate will face some real trouble being elected in the deeply evangelical pockets of the country. And there are more than we think.

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    1. I woke up this morning to two piles of Levi vomit. Looked like all the food he'd eaten yesterday and hadn't digressed. Poor guy has always had a touchy stomach. He's licking a pumpkin cube as I write.

      Without Marie's courage to be the first to follow the subpoena you have to wonder how long it would have taken for others to go against the president's orders not to testify.

      I worry about the same thing in deeply evangelical pockets of the country. But maybe if the choice is between two "sinners" they'd think Pete is a less dangerous than Trump?

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    2. I am always slayed how the Evangelicals can support such corruption, lack of morality, not to mention his sexual predator behavior... yet they act as tho' anyone remotely 'Liberal' is The Devil... it would be Funny were it not so serious an issue. As a non-partisan Moderate, I plan to vote for anyone NOT 45! *LOL*

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    3. I just don't get that either, how someone can claim to be deeply religious and vote for such an immoral man. Once more, Jesus was a socialist but our current breed of Evangelism don't seem to understand their own doctrines about helping the less fortunate.

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  16. I'm pretty much glued to the impeachment hearings. At times elated by the Constitution in action and the process unfolding as it should. At times deflated by those who defame, denigrate, and defend the indefensible. (BTW I think I might have sent this twice...or not. Choose one. LOL)

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    1. Me too. Those testifying have made me proud again of America. The Republicans have been scandalous trying to discredit them.

      You did send it through twice. I've done that a time or two.

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  17. A consensual blow job in the Oval Office being Quaint almost made me spill my drink on the keyboard... but ain't it the TRUTH! *LMAO* I did a wee Political Rant again on Today's Post too... can't help it, saying nothing seems complicit anymore to seeing so much Wrong and being silent so as not to offend someone who can support such corruption and vile Leadership or find excuses for it to justify their Boy regardless of whatever he does, says or represents. I still don't understand the Appeal... I have some Friends and even some Family who are rabid Fans... go figure... for the Life of me I can't figure out how so many can be so conned? Anyway, I know that's preaching to the Choir... sorry... I digress... I think Levi, like Miss Priss, is unsettled by the Chaos of a Household in Transition... we cannot explain to them what is going on and they know it's not business as usual so they get anxious and afraid perhaps they're not along for the whole ride? *LOL*

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    1. I totally agree with 100% of what you've written about 45 and our pets. I love to hear your preaching to the choir. I don't think it's good for our country to remind silent any longer.

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  18. I'm another flaming liberal, but I, too, disagree with your assessment of Clinton's relationship with Monica Lewinsky. This was sexual activity that took place in the workplace (the Oval Office) between the most powerful person in that workplace (the President) and one of the least powerful (a lowly intern). I'm not sure how consensual such a relationship can be. The usual term for it is "sexual harassment."

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    1. I know I over simplified the Clinton and Monica thing. He was clearly the adult who should haven't have let a smitten young girl get in the position she was in. He did take advantage of her as willing as she was, which according to an article I read that she wrote recently, she didn't even realize that until the Me Too Movement. (The disparity of power.) Up until her recent second guessing of the affair she's always maintained it was consensual. I've admired how she always kept her head held high.

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