Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, July 10, 2021

A Week of no Rest for the Weary

Let's back-track and start with last Sunday, the day I went out to the La-z-Boy store to order the mid-century recliner chair I’ve been lusting after for over a year. They were having a 30% off sale over the Fourth of July so I knew it was time to quit pretending I could talk myself out of a bland neutral gray and into a color that Crayola would be proud to put in their 64 colors pack box. The sale saved me over $700 but get this, delivery isn’t expected for 4 to 7 months! “Of course,” the salesgirl said, “we hope it will be closer to 4 or 5 months but we can’t promise that.”

The store is close to where I’m moving so I swung around to see the progress that’s been made since I was there a 5-6 weeks ago. I can’t say I like the outside facade but I knew I wouldn’t going into the deal because I’m not fond of a fall color palette. The sidewalks, curbing and roads are in and I’m royally disappointed that from a distance it looks like there won’t be a grass buffer between my deck and the sidewalk. I couldn’t get any closer than a football field away so it might be an optical illusion because the other decks I could see better will have an area for grass. I’ll know next week when I’m scheduling another walk-thru. I won’t like it if I don’t have a patch of grass but on the other hand it would speed up the moving process because we could just hand boxes over the deck railing instead of walking them through the building. Every negative has a positive if you look hard enough...and you put on your rose-colored glasses when you do.

Monday afternoon was a whirlwind of activity when a cleaning crew washed my windows inside and out and did the monthly cleaning plus waxed my floors. And boy did my windows need cleaning. Over the weekend I got a burst of energy and washed my blinds and window shades without taking them down and if you’ve ever done it that way you know what a mess it leaves behind on the windows with shades. They’re good quality and in good shape and it was a good last-minute decision to wash them and good grief could I put anymore ‘goods’ in this sentence? I also washed the seven crystals that make fabulous rainbows on my walls. Rainbow days still impress me and I’ve lived here nearly two decades. The first, full day of the showings---Friday---it was sunny enough to forming rainbows all over in the house. Best silent salesman ever. Little girls (and some of their moms) probably looked in my closets to see where I keep a litter box for unicorns because rainbows and unicorns go together like peanut butter and jelly. Everyone under the age of eight knows that.

Tuesday it was make a list of places I want to go and errands that need doing when I have to leave the house for viewings. I also packed my Go-Bag with junk food for hanging out in the park. And I made another list of what I have to do in the house before leaving each time someone wants to see the place. I’m not used to being a picky person when it comes to things like keeping my ratty looking slippers out of sight or making my bed on a daily basis or making sure the bathroom doesn’t smell like a giant fart. And ohmygod, I’ll have to keep doing this to a least until the 16th when we will look at any offers that come in all at same time. Hopefully come in.

Wednesday was fun. I got to follow the photographer around while he took pictures of my house and yard and he promised I’ll get access to them to download on my computer. Unfortunately, my back nature strip was past its prime, but Mother Nature can be a surly force so there was nothing I could do about her lack of cooperation. The realtor also came over to explain how the app works for people booking appointments. I set the hours from 9 AM to 8 PM but realtors with clients have to text me with a request for a certain time and I have the option to accept or reject the appointment. Obviously, it’s best to be as flexible as humanly possible and be ready to roll out the door with little warning.

Thursday the listing went live in the late afternoon and I right away I got texts requesting showings for that evening and Friday. 

Friday I left the house at 8:30, went out for breakfast where I fielded requests for a few more viewings. At 10:00 I had booked a three hour appointment at an auto detailing business. It’s the kind of place that removes your seats to clean your carpeting and they use tiny tools to clean the details around vents, seams, buttons and puppy dog tails, if you leave your pet behind in your car. When they get through your car looks brand new again. It seemed like a fitting gift to give my Chevy Trax after asking her to preform like a rough and tumble pickup truck this past year of downsizing.

I’m a homebody. I hate this whole process of having to find things to do away from the house. Someone recently told me that she booked a hotel for the first two days of her listing. Smart! Next week it will be easier. I have some routine-ish medical crap that will take up two afternoons plus a lunch date with some fun friends. 

But the biggie thing I'll do to take up time away from home will be touring my new place again. The finishes are in, the doors are hung and I'm on pins and needles about the grass patch question. Stay tuned. A week from now I'll know if the artist's rendering of the place differs from the reality of the curbing they poured. If it does I wonder if I have a hissy-fit would they give me discount? If I don't have grass I'm going to buy myself a pot of  'cat grass' to keep on my deck as a protest and conversation starter. "Oh, you have a cat!" someone walking too close to my deck will say and I'll reply, "No and if you want to know why I have a pot of grass you'll have to ask our CEO." ©

HERE'S some of the photos the photographer took. He said taking realtor photos pays more than weddings and was much easier. I understand the easier part but was shocked that it pays better. He took 30 plus photos and a thing that moves---don't know what it's called and I'm too tired to look it up.

dinning room


kitchen eat-in area


guest bathroom


back deck



sun porch


kitchen

back yard - goes up to the pines

59 comments:

  1. What a big week you've had--and I think you have some bigger days ahead, but it's all good. Your house photographs are excellent. And your woodsy yard is a huge selling point. It is obvious that you have taken good care of your home, and that always speaks volumes to potential buyers. It has to feel great to be at this point. Planning, working, waiting, and wondering--those things fill our days when we're moving. I learned that our kitchen remodel will take twice as long as they told us. (Sure glad we have a signed contract on the price and hoping that doesn't change!) I'm learning that I'm not the most flexible person, but I'd really like to be! Jean, I think you're doing very well! Anxious to hear about the walk-thru at your new place. Have a great weekend!

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    1. Thank you. There are many things I will miss about this place, the nature strip in the back being one of the. In its prime its so colorful!

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  2. Ahh, I remember the showing app and having to leave the house for hours. But it will all be worth it in the end. And in this market, I predict you'll have multiple offers and be able to let your home go back to however you like it quickly.

    We still had our aging dog when we had to leave for showings, and the night before one of our first showings, he somehow got into the shower and ate a bar of soap, which he promptly vomited onto the rug. I tried to clean it up, but you can imagine how that went. So we had to leave a note that carpet cleaners were scheduled for the next day. Even after all that, and at the height of the pandemic, we had multiple offers to weigh. I'm sure you'll do better. LOL.

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    1. Oh my gosh that dog barf would have been stressful!

      Nine showing so far and the only feed back I've gotten is one person said it wasn't The One and the other said the bedrooms are too small. Not going well!

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    2. I think a lot of people just don't give feedback. Our realtor was always calling showing realtors to ask for it, but I definitely wouldn't assume people don't like it. The offers we had were quite unexpected and didn't really equate to the feedback. At some point, if your realtor is tracking them, you'll probably see people come back again to walk through it twice or more. Don't panic...it will sell. :-)

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    3. Just found out I have two offers coming in. One from Canada that doesn't excite me.

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  3. What a lovely house! I’m not at all surprised you immediately got texts asking for showings. I did find when we sold ours 4 years ago that people would be running late getting there from work or want to stay longer. Luckily since I had the dog to remove too a friend gave me a key to her house so I could go there even if it rained. Smart plan to have a day to review offers!

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    1. Today I was wishing I knew my neighbors better so I could hang out with them! Friend saved you a lot of trouble.

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    2. When we sold one home, our neighbor told us to come over and put our dog in her backyard. I would leave the kitchen window shutters open and we would sneak to her bathroom and peek through her windows--in a typical suburban house--to watch them tour our kitchen and family room. Sometimes, we would all sit outside in her front yard, looking like the friendly neighborhood it truly was. That's one of my best-ever memories of a stressful move. I hope this goes as smoothly for you as ours did for us.

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    3. That is so cool, Linda. Love those kinds those memories.

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  4. You do have a lovely home but I am most impressed with your outdoor areas. The deck and the lovely yard. You seem to have quite a bit of privacy.

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    1. I do have a lot of privacy. Can't see the back neighbors and on both sides the houses have no windows facing me. My lot is pie shaped and a surprise from the back windows.

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  5. I see what you mean about your windows. If I saw those windows and that back yard, was in the market for a house, and had the asking price, I'd buy it in a minute. Well, I would if I could afford a window washer, too!

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    1. Up until two years ago I washed all my own windows. The are the kind tat tilt inside so you don't need a ladder. I didn't share a photo of my side yard cattails and bog area which would would love for the wildlife, birds and bugs it attracts.

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  6. The photos show your house to be full of light and very open and roomy. It looks lovely and bright and CLEAN! I don't think there will be any problem with getting good offers quickly.

    I would dislike the idea of strangers roaming freely throughout my home. It's the only way, however, so oh well! I know you've planned well for that, too.

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    1. I think clean trumps some areas being a little dated. Like no granite in the kitchen or newer appliances. Fingers crossed. I just came home to find my back door not only not locked but not shut!

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  7. Your house looks gorgeous, Jean! I don't know what it looked like before, but it is so pristine and appealing looking in the the photos. And your backyard? A stunner. It also looks huge (house AND yard). Your new place will be so much easier on you and free up more time for blogging (she says hopefully). I love my new smaller space...it is so easy to look after, compared to what I have. I hope you find the same.

    Deb

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    1. Main floor 1,790 with a full open basement studded and plumbed to finish off. I will not miss trips downstairs to check on things, that's for sure. Next blog maybe I post more yard photos.

      Mostly what I did was remove 3 very large pieces of furniture on the main level and collections on displace including books on all those cases shown in one photo above. took down some art work too.

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  8. Your home looks lovely! You have done a fabulous job of getting it ready. Hope you get some terrific offers.
    It is hard not to worry but things have a way of working out and it will be so nice.

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    1. It better sell or I can't move and I'll bet my deposits back!

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  9. Maybe you mean "virtual tour?" Your house looks great! Randy took some really nice photos that play up all the desirable features like the windows overlooking the nature strip. I have kitchen cabinets like yours and I wouldn't let anyone paint them either. Here's to multiple offers over asking price!

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    1. Thanks! I'll be happy just to get list price because the realtor priced it over the tax evaluation which I wasn't sure was wise.

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  10. You home is great - I understand having to leave and find things to do. Fun isn't it? Best of Luck!

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    1. I thought today would never end. Six hours away from home!

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  11. Your house is gorgeous! I bet you'll have multiple offers... and I wouldn't be surprised if they are over asking. Our market (Southern California) is red hot too and I've seen pretty iffy houses go for way more than seems reasonable. Good luck!

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    1. I kind of wish now that I had staged the office/library as a bedroom but it would have been so much trouble. My floor plan is perfect for someone with a disability but for someone looking with kids in mind, not so much.

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  12. What a lovely home! I expect you will get some very nice offers and lots of showings. Smart to have a deadline for offers. Look forward to hearing your review of your new place.

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    1. Ive had nine showings and I'm not getting feedback so I'm nervous as all get out.

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    2. When we sold houses in the past, I used to fixate on feedback from people who came to look. But really, if they don't like it and it's not for them, then there's nothing you can do about that so their opinion doesn't matter. I remember my mother getting exasperated with people who were looking at her home and saying things like "Where will we put the nine foot couch?" And I even had one realtor who'd shown our place to one potential buyer several times ask me, "Don't you think it's a little small?" Auggghhh. Hang in there.

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    3. I did get one feedback from someone who thought the kitchen was too small. I can see that. It is small, but laid out super work friendly. Small and large are relative terms with no real meaning that is universal.

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  13. Beautiful home Jean. I’m thinking if your market is anything like it is here in NC it should be a quick sale. Your yard is beautiful and the seasons room is wonderful! Best of luck to you.

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  14. I love the pictures of your place, they came out great.

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    1. I know. I was really pleased though I wish in the guest bath he hadn't drawn the shower curtain. Being there is a high window with glass bricks for nature light. Old fashioned but I love that window.

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  15. You had a busy week but busy is ok, of course those who have bondless energy can rest while the weary have to keep going........

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    1. I'm weary enough to crash soon and I'm looking forward to the day.

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  16. Your place is beautiful! I'll be so glad when you're finished and in your new home.

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    1. Me too but I've got a long way to go, yet but the going will be fun, I think, and with far less pressure once the house is sold and closed on.

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  17. Well I just met you through Dept of Nance blog list. I am so happy to find you. Your writing is fun. When we used a similar system for listing our house, (it wasn't a home anymore...just property to trade for a quitter simpler space) our realtor told us that we should just park across the busy street. Watch who goes in. See how long they stay. You know when they came and then you head back in. It was shocking to see how quickly most people made up their minds on our 100 plus year old AS IS House. Took 3 weeks to sell and we love where we live now.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by. I love Nance's blog. I live on a cul-de-sac with 7 houses so not as easy to 'hide' in plain sight but for the isolated appointments I'm going to try that.

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  18. I have the same Lazy Boy Chair that you are ordering. Mine is dark blue. I just love it. Not bulky and very comfortable. Your home is beautiful. I don't think that it will be on the market for long. When I moved two years ago from my home of 40 years and moved into a condo, there was a lot going on for sure. Downsizing the stuff in my old place and having new floors installed in the condo. I know that my real estate agent would message me at any time that a showing was scheduled in an hour!!!! I drove around with my cat in a carrier and we just sat at a town park. It's stressful, but once you move in, you can take a deep sigh of relief.

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    1. Tonight I had someone want an appointment at 7:30 and they sent the text at 7:29 while at my door! Did not like that!

      La-Z-Boy said they had three orders plus mind for that chair. I love how open and small it looks compared to their others. I got mine with electric because I was afraid as I age I won't have the muscle power to recline it.

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  19. Your Back Yard is stunning and the Photographer did a fantastic job of Showcasing your Home! I Hated the Appointments part of Listing too, I'd rather have not been living there since The Villa was out in the middle of nowhere, so we had nowhere close by to go while people Toured. It sounds like the new place is coming along, Hope you get your patch of Grass... and your Recliner arrives just at the perfect Timing.

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    1. You should see it when the colors are out===hot pink, yellow, white and orange flowers in May and June.

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    2. Damn, then they just missed the Show of Blooms... dammit!

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  20. You are holding up so well. Your house is so pretty. I'm glad they didn't have all these fancy requirements last time I sold my house.

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    1. Last time I sold a house nearly twenty years ago, they only took one photo from the street and the ads ran in newspapers. LOL

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  21. Your home is just gorgeous and the pics are beautiful. I don't think you'll have any problem with the sale.

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    1. So far, the kitchen is what people are not liking. Not big enough by today's standards.

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  22. Be still my heart. I love the open floor plan and orientation to the backyard. So private!! The feedback you've gotten sounds discouraging. Maybe that's part of the game potential buyers play... don't let on how much you love something, that will drive the price up. Fingers crossed. I sure want a break to come your way.

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    1. The same form asks if the client might be submitting a offer so I think the comments are honest.

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  23. Exhausting and exciting for sure. I also hate having to vacate my home for stretches of time of just finding something to do...I am a homebody too. We laughed at the photographer's shots of my son's house when they sold -- in summer the grass goes brown, but in the photo the grass was as green as an April morning! Yay photoshop. LOL

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    1. I'm surprised them to photoshopped stuff. I almost asked if he could use my back yard photos with the flowers out but I chickened out.

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  24. By the way...that house in my area would be $400,000-600,000, depending on location. And people are getting 30,000-100,000 over list price with multiple people bidding -- and they write letters begging the owner to choose them! I know a young couple who bought a house similar to yours for $450,000 after losing out to others on bids on 13 other homes! It's nuts.

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    1. I would love letters telling me what they liked about the house, I would do that if there was a bidding war, for sure and it would weigh heavy. Don't think that's going to happen here.

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  25. I can see why it would be very hard to leave your home -- it's beautiful. I don't know which room I want to move into first (maybe the kitchen!) And those winners are stunners. I hope you DO get a bidding war. I don't know much about your town/area but I do know a good house when I see one and that seems to have tons of buying potential (or selling, as the case may be.)

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    1. The agent is coming over tonight to discuss at least two bids but I'm not expecting much. My house has a major hold-back for many in that it's only a two bedroom with an office that would need a closet to be a real bedroom. I've been around building and builders all my life so I tend to forget others don't see this as the easy fix that I do.

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  26. Your house looks great. It's all good ;-)

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    1. Thank you. I have a lot of blood sweat and tears into this house, right from the first sketch on paper.

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