After moving Into Respite Care here at the continuing care complex my brother still lives next door. But I'm staying on the other side of him now than I did before the move. I had my 1st telephone call with him since my accident 10 days ago. (My niece recorded a video of me while I was in the hospital to show him but this was different.) And it ended with one of those sweet kind of moments that I said I was going to look for in my new year's resolution. We talked about how bored he was and how I understand now how It is to wait for a call or visit from someone from the outside world. It's an isolating feeling when a slow-to-act corporation is in charge of you. And no matter how good your caregivers are it's still not family. He was living in real time right then instead of the Kind of place your brain makes up similar to a rem cycle dream and you're not able to tell it from reality. So I told him I loved him for the 1st time in so long I Can't recall if I've ever said it to him. And he told me "I love my baby sister too". Those Words took me right back to early childhood when he looked out for me a lot. A dark chocolate sweet moment for sure.
I ate in the main dining room today for the 1st time since I've been here and met Some of my hall mates who I sincerely hope will only be temporary neighbors. I feel like a spy because I'm going to have information to report to neighbors from independent living. Several have called wanting to visit, and I put them off until the middle of next week. I'm not up to that yet but they're mostly anxious to see the inside of this building and not so much to visit me---I'm guessing. When my Brother moved into memory care I had a woman ask if she could come with me when I visited him so she could see the inside of the place. I didn't bring her but that mindset is out there and I can understand the curiosity,---we're all gonna end up here someday. The luck at the draw doesn't allow us all to die peacefully in our sleep.
But here's a Tip for anybody looking for a CCC to move to: ask to see inside their memory care and their assisted living, hospice building and their respite care before you put money down. I can't remember any of my neighbors in the independent living mentioning ever having done that. We were all too interested in what our surfaces and bells and whistles would look like in independent living as if none of us would ever fall down and need the other half of what we're paying so high for. I did research their reputation, BBB and health department reports, and everything that could be checked online but that was all I did.
It still bugs the heck out of me to post on my Kindle with all the mistakes it makes along with the ones that I make. But I'm totally resisting the idea of bringing my computer down here because I don't want to MOVE IN even if the inconvenience of not having it will last for weeks. Also, if I ghost you don't assume the worst, my kindle was acting up even before the fall and I need to order another before it pukes completely out and I loss my connect to the outside world. And I can't order a new one without my passwords. Until I can get one of my niece's to retrieve my passwords that can't happened until one of my niece's comes to town. I don't store them in my Kindle in case it grows legs or get lost. Pain level 4/5 without controlled drugs and 2/3 in the daytime. Improvement!
Glad the Pain level is diminishing and Healing is taking place. I agree, seeing ALL of the various components of the levels of Care should be a Priority. The distractions of the Independent Living areas that WOW us can give an Illusion that isn't accurate when you transition to the next levels of Care and there is not the consistency expected. When having to choose Placement for each of our Parents, my Brother and I wanted to see every aspect of each Facility, to hopefully make the best choices for any level of advanced Care they might need. As it turned out, both needed it quickly so it was good we'd considered that they could deteriorate and the level of Care should equal when they were less dependent.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed for you. Thank you for keeping in touch. ❤️
ReplyDeleteThat was from Cheerful Monk
ReplyDeleteHi Jean! Appreciate the update, for sure. Sounds like the pain is still pretty significant without the drugs. Rib fractures are the pits, because of course you can't stop breathing, so the pain will be there with every breath. Hopefully you are seeing some improvement with each passing day.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are in a safe place, and still able to at least visit with your brother. We're all rooting for you.
Carole
So happy to see your post, Jean. It sounds like you're still dealing with considerable pain. Hoping that changes for you. Everything takes time, though.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate what you shared about checking into all aspects of a ccc before you invest. That makes so much sense, but we sometimes get sidetracked by other things.
Your sweet interaction with your brother brought tears to my eyes. Surely a memory worth holding onto forever! And a reminder to all of us to express our love to those we hold dear.
Thank you for all the effort of putting out a post for us. It really is nice to know how you're doing.
You've had a lot of adjustments to make. I'd probably be having a few hissy fits (I'm Southern) along the way. As to your passwords, I'm sure you've probably looked into password managers in the past. I use one that's open on Google Chrome all the time on my desktop, but I didn't want it available all the time on my phone in case someone got access to my passwords. I gave my main password to both daughters . . . just in case. That means they can access all my passwords from their homes, if I should need them to. On my phone, I must sign into my password manager's app each time I need it, but it's just one password to remember in that case. Again, I'm sure you've already considered using one. Perhaps you rejected it, as I did initially, but I changed my mind due to changing circumstances for me. I hope you soon feel up to visits from your friends on the campus, even if their reasons for coming are twofold.
ReplyDeleteLife is a learning experience and when I'm feeling better dealing with passwords is going to be 1 of my next big projects.
DeleteJean, I am amazed and so pleased that you continue to blog with those injuries and that level of pain. Hmmm, you brought up a good point about checking out the probable “next step” of moving into a campus such as yours. I wonder if my sister did the same, before my other sister and I helped her move to her new place. I know she got a tour but wonder if that was included. Anyways, I hope your pain level keeps going down and your comfort level keeps going up!
ReplyDeleteDeb
Glad you are improving! Hope your recover is smooth and swift so you will be back in your place soon.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you and your brother are having sweet moments to cherish.
It's good to hear that those pain levels are going down. I'm glad you had that conversation with your brother, too. It's proof that we're never too old to keep making memories -- and nice ones, at that.
ReplyDeleteAnd just a note about anonymous comments. I've been showing up as 'anonymous' from time to time on various Blogger blogs because Blogger won't let me comment with my google account, and won't hold my details from post to post. If I'm not paying attention, I can hit 'post' before I change my status -- so frustrating. There used to be a big battle between Blogger and WordPress -- maybe a decade or more ago -- and both platforms would engage in such foolishness. I'll try to keep on my toes!
Well, the good news is that the pain is easing, even just some. You take it a bit at a time. That's an excellent idea about checking out all the levels. I think you're right -- we all want to know what kinds of activities are there and about the food and socialization and forget to check what happens when we aren't living in the fun part anymore!
ReplyDeleteI think your Kindle is doing a great job for you. The posts are coming out fine.
ReplyDeleteWe're all hopeful for your return to Independent Living as soon as possible, Jean. Rib injuries are tough and take a while to heal. It's not like they can put you in a cast. Hang in there.
That's good that the pain level is improving. Your advice to look at the whole picture of a CCC is wise. Most people don't spend their whole lives in independent living, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteWhen I moved to the Oregon coast, I imagined I would keel over one day and that would be that. Wishful thinking I know. Good point about asking to see the less ideal areas of a CCC, but I doubt it would make much difference to most people because of well - wishful thinking and denial.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it that's so different from the rest of the campus? I'm imagining washed out mint green (or worse, the current obsession with gray) walls with no plants around, views of the sides of other buildings, and no pleasant artwork hung on the walls to allow us to imagine ourselves in a totally different landscape.
Sending lots of good vibes to get you back to your home base ASAP!
PS How many ribs did you break? Did I miss that somewhere?
2 ribs broken and misaligned. As an artist you would love the art in this CCC. They have an arts council of people from the outside and 1 resident who curates all the donated art from people who both move in and who are rich and just buy art from artists to donate. Memory care where my brother is has a different theme to each hall. My brother is on the 'dog' hall.
DeleteI hope the pain level continues to go down! And glad you were able to chat with your brother. If it's anything like my brothers, that was a rare beauty of a conversation. I am amazed that you are able to use your Kindle to continue blogging. You must have a much fancier Kindle than I do. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou are so impressive by keeping in touch under these circumstances. Pain just drains me. Very good tip to check out ALL areas of a CCC before buying in. I wonder if you could set up a phone tree for your brother? So he would get at least one phone call each day. We did that for my Dad. The two girls would call every day and one brother visited at least once a week. He loved when they brought in the therapy dogs so we could call him about ten minutes ahead of time so he could go pet them. I hope each day you get a little better!
ReplyDeleteI find dust settles in my eyes
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear from you. Your exchange with your brother was very moving... I miss my two brothers, both died relatively young and I am the lone survivor or my family of origin. It's a strange feeling sometimes. I am so impressed that your Kindle is doing as well as it is. Plus I never even knew Kindles had this feature. I just use mine to read books!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your misadventures. I agree with The Widow Badass comments above whole heartedly.
ReplyDeleteYou have great resilience - you'll bounce back! Please do take care. ~ Libby
I've been wondering about how you're doing. Thanks for the update. I agree with your decision to not bring your computer into your new TEMPORARY digs. I also love the idea of you feeling like a spy. I always did love Harriett the Spy-- and Jean the Spy has a good sound to it!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear the pain level is so much better. You'll be in your home with your laptop in no time!! And great tip I would not have thought of when it comes to seeing ALL the bldgs!
ReplyDelete