I couldn’t decide what to write about for this week’s post. I had narrowed it down to two themes. 1) About all the ‘firsts’ that happened in my life since I last wrote or, 2) how busy my week was. After mulling it over in my mind I came to the conclusion that if I wrote about the ‘firsts’ that would, by nature, include a lot of the stuff that kept me so busy. I kid you not, every single day I had at least four things on my day planner. I don’t like being that busy but sometimes you have no choice.
I’ll start with a day when I drove a 40 mile round trip (which is a LOT for me to drive) up to the electronics recycling station near where I used to live to dispose of my old printer. There are closer places if you want to pay to drop electronics off but I was invited to have lunch with a couple of old friends at a place nearby, so it was easier to go up there where I know my way around than to cart printer through Best Buys or Staples, assuming I could wade through heavy traffic to find the places. I had boxed that old printer up in the new printer’s box and have been riding it around in my back seat for three weeks, hoping someone would steal it but either I shop in an honest part of town or car pirates of opportunity know that trick.
I used to have lunch with these women twice a month when I lived up in that neck of the woods. Long time readers might remember we called ourselves The Gathering Girls and it sure felt like old times being back at the Guyland Cafeteria. They and the place hadn't changed a bit. This was the first time since I moved that we all sat at the same table laughing like we used, we even ordered the same specials we always did in the past.
After lunch I swung around to the cemetery where my husband’s and my tombstone is located and half of his ashes are buried. I had come with a shovel, whisk broom, garbage bag and gallon water all prepared to dig out the quack grass that usually is attempting to cover over the inscription in the marble, but for the first time since Don died in 2012, it didn’t need my help. I couldn’t help wondering if it died out because the last time I was there, I sprinkled the ashes from my dog, Levi, closely to the footing of the stone. Maybe he killed the quack grass by marking the stone with magic, ghost urine.
Also close by was the house that I designed and had built in 2001 and was sold before moving to my continuum care campus. It was my first time seeing it since the day I moved out and I wish I hadn’t. When I lived there the lawn and yard was the best on the street and it was the best kept yard I’ve ever had in my life. But the new owners let the grass burn up and it looked like a kid with no clue for how to mow grass was doing the job. It’s never seen a weed wacker or an edger and the shrubbery hadn’t been trimmed since I left. I doubt they can even see out the library window anymore. And the back yard where my nature strip should be blooming with wild flowers is completely overwhelmed with invasive sumac. I had my lawn care guy take it out every year. I looked the house up on Zillow to see if it’s changed hands since I sold it but it hasn’t. They place a value on it that is $69,000 more than I sold it for! Anyway, it’s true that you can’t go home again. I’ll never drive by the place again.
Another day I had to take my car in for its thirty thousand mile servicing which included a tire rotation. The dealership is new to me and they had trouble getting a lung nut off because it was cross-threaded so they had to drill it out and replace some stuff on the wheel and it ended up costing me an extra $150. What was supposed to be an hour job ended up being all afternoon because they didn’t have the part in stock, and they said it wasn’t safe to drive the was it was. So the next first time I have to write about was they gave me a loaner car to drive and it was the kind with a button to push instead of a key. Took me awhile to figure out how to start the silly thing and it beeped warnings and was a zippy little thing t drive. The service department manager told me to contact my old dealership to get reimbursed for the $150 and I’ll let you know how well that works out.
Another day I had an appointment for my annual eye exam. I’m two years out from my cataract surgeries and I thought for sure I’d need the laser treatment to remove a new cataract forming over the fake lens they put in one of my eyes. Turns out that eye changed enough that I need a new prescription for the left lens while the other eye remained the same. That’s the first time that’s ever happened in my life. I felt good leaving the office after ordering just one lens and more importantly, after hearing that my macular pucker hasn’t changed significantly. That sound you're hearing is a sigh of relief. I've been worried about that pucker.
And last but not least, the best first time of all makes me very happy. It was the first time an ex-president was indicted in a criminal court and on espionage charges and they look like they will stick.
Until next Wednesday…. ©
* The photo at the top is of my old back yard before the new owners let the sumac take over.
I'm afraid someone in the jury will be on his side so he won't be convicted. :( I hope I'm wrong. No one should be above the law.
ReplyDeleteA trump supporter was on the Stormy Daniels jury and voted to convict. I would hope after sitting in a jury for four-six weeks even a die-hard trumpster would understand the seriousness of what he did.
DeleteIncluding Clinton and Biden who did the same!
DeleteThey didn't refuse to give back Top Secret Documents when they are asked to comply. They didn't their body man hide them from their own lawyers as was documented in their text messages. They didn't flash top secret documents to a reporter who has Trump on a recording saying, "I shouldn't be showing these to you. If I were still president I could de-classify them." Read or listen to the entire indictment so see what Trump did. it's apples and orange from anything Clinton and Biden did and even if it were the same, he still broke some very serious laws and he knew he was doing it.
DeleteHa! The folks throwing around the Clinton Biden whadabouts are overlooking the reality of what happened. If there had been a way for Trump to charge Clinton, it would have happened. None the investigations found "criminal intent". Trump's tapes clearly do.
DeleteYes, they investigated Clinton up one side and down the other and didn't find anything to charge her with.
DeleteJust remember, he isn't being prosecuted for the documents he returned, he is being prosecuted for the documents he DID NOT return.
Delete---Cheerful Monk
ReplyDeleteI found our favorite of all time houses on Zillow a year ago (the FLW contemporary flat roof one). Same thing, yard horrible, driveway busted up. Broke my heart. You're right, you can't go back. Hugs, Vicki
ReplyDeleteWhy do we do those things? You'd think we'd know better.
DeleteYou've been juggling a lot, Jean. It feels really good to successfully complete a list of firsts (gotta admit, there are some things that make me a bit anxious, but what's a person to do??). Bet it was wonderful to be with the Gathering Girls again. I remember back when we were masking up, you girls stopped lunching together. It's good to catch up with old friends.
ReplyDeleteI loved your nature strip, in fact, I'd love to have one like it! Can't imagine what the new owners are thinking, letting it go. I guess it's not a priority to some folks, plus, they might be going through a life crisis. We're not able to put in full days of yard work, but hubby and I try to keep a neat lawn. It took me a couple of days, but last week I finally got the hedge trimmed. I guess we still have yard pride, lol.
Hope you can relax this week!
The new owners are a year older than I am and they were downsizing from a huge house and yard---I saw it on Zillow. He was excited about cutting the lawn himself. She had trouble walking because she'd had a stroke which is why they loved the house's zero steps and wide doorways, etc. They had big money, more than enough to hire someone to do the yard. Very sad.
DeleteI wish I could have relaxed this week but my schedule doesn't clear up until Friday!
I hope it was fun going back to your old stomping grounds and having lunch with old friends.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling about driving past an old house you took pride in. I did that a few years ago and was shocked and dismayed by what I saw. Charming brick walkway, torn out. Beautiful old magnolia (a rarity in this part of the country), torn out. Like you, I will never go back there.
nina
It was fun seeing my old friends and I hope to see them again this summer.
DeleteWe all have different visions of what a house and yard should look like but old magnolia---who would do such a thing!
I'm with you on your last and best. It sounds like quite a week. I can relate to a week that is more full than you might like -- but hey, beats boredom! (Was it Thomas Wolfe who wrote "You can't go home again?" I don't think that was what he had in mind, but I've had the same feeling passing by the houses I've lived in over the years.)
ReplyDeleteWe read that book for book club book a while back and you're right, that's not exactly what he meant. But in this case I'm not letting nostalgia color my opinion of how it looks now compared to how it was. I love that quote more than I loved the book. LOL
DeleteI had a friend who lived on a beautiful lot with lots of trees. She drove by sometime later and they had cut down all the trees. So senseless especially in an increasing drought.
DeleteI’m happy about trump's arraignment, as well, but fear the delay, the eventual election and the pardoning of him and all the Jan 6th traitors.
Also you can’t go home again, not just for the visual changes, but also for the life you had there are is changed and gone..sad but true. Mary
One of my niece's neighbors bought a place and cut down all the trees too. Guess they thought they'd fall on the house. Another man I know did he same thing because he didn't want to rake leaves. The visual pleasure of seeing trees, I guess, isn't important to some nor the oxygen they produce.
DeleteI am glad you had a chance to get together with your Gathering friends. Maybe you guys can meet somewhere half-way so you don't have to drive so far next time. Don't worry about your old home - you have your happy memories to keep. Glad you are busy and happy...
ReplyDeleteWe're talking about doing just that. Although none of like driving so much anymore. It was great seeing them.
DeleteBig week for you! I hope you can prevail and get your $150 back.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that you could meet up with your former companions for a revisit to your favourite lunch place for some catching up and some laughs. Maybe you can plan to do so every month or two, at least until the weather becomes an issue.
Ya, it would be interesting to see how the other dealership handles the issue.
DeletePretty yard! Shame it wasn't kept up. I don't understand people who buy a house only to neglect the yard. Why not buy a condo instead? I was just back in my hometown and visited some of my former dwellings. I was most impressed by what my friends did to my old apartment above the museum. They reworked most of it to suit their needs and it was not only a smart use of the space but smart-looking! I am inspired to get going again on my interior space now that the garden transformation is over (for now...hehehe).
ReplyDeleteI sure hope Trump finally gets his feet held to the fire, at last. Hell, I hope they lock him up for the rest of his days (may they be short). However, I've been wishing that for so long that I don't have all that much hope left...Have the Trumpers at your place turned tail or are they standing by their "man" (I use that term very loosely)?
Deb
Sometimes a place you sell does turn out better after the new owners take over. That was the case when my niece took over the family cottage. That's always fun to see.
DeleteThe Trump supporters I have personal contract with are digging in their heels to defend him but there is nothing they can say except, "Hillary did the same thing" which anyne who is paying attention knows isn't remotely true.
How fun to get together with your friends! I avoid going past old homes generally but admit I went online to see my childhood home out of curiousity.
ReplyDeleteThe internet makes is to easy to do, doesn't it.
DeleteGosh, Julie's comment reminded me that I was once driving past my childhood home and they were having a yard sale. I stopped to chat, telling them when I lived there, and they invited me inside. While I was intensely curious, I thanked them and declined. I loved that house and even 73 years later I know the entire floor plan. It was an unusual house and I don't want my memory of it disrupted by reality of the now!
DeleteNina
You were wise in declining. Before I went past my old house I was hoping they'd be out in the yard and would invite me in but having seen the yard, I'm glad I didn't have that choice to make.
DeleteLife is full of firsts some good some not so good or some just down right wrong or bad, just saying. My sister and brother have a habit of driving past our parents old house just to check it out and see the changes taking place.
ReplyDeleteI can see doing that if they are upgrading but to watch a place I once loved fall into disrepair I couldn't do the frequent drive by's. To each his own.
DeleteOur last home had amazing gardens that we worked really hard at every year. The first time I drove back and looked, it about made me cry. I can't even imagine how they are three years out. We had prairie grasses that needed to be chopped back and cut down every year. None of that I could see. They're probably taking over the yard by now. You just have to say, I cashed the check and I have good memories. Still, I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteYa, it was a shock but I did my best to educate them on what needed doing in the yard when---left them my own schedule on maintenance in and out.
DeleteI'm sorry you had to see your old house in neglectful condition... that's how Villa Boheme ended up...the Historic home fared better since Mr Avila does love it like we did...no you can't go back home Jean...glad some firsts we're good...Dawn the Bohemian
ReplyDeleteIt is what it is, but I won't go past it again. With your historic house being redone by a restoration purist I can see how seeing that from time to time would be a joy.
DeleteA friend of mine once sold an urban row house that she and her ex-husband had bought as a fixer-upper and meticulously restored and where she had created a gorgeous little backyard garden. She wanted to take some of the plants from the garden to her new house, but didn't think she could do so in good conscience because she considered the garden one of the big draws of the property. A year after she sold it, she drove by the house and discovered that the new owners had blacktopped the entire back yard to create more off-street parking.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you were able to meet up with your Gathering Girls friends again.
That would have made me sick to my stomach. When I sold the house before the last one I had it written right in the listing contract that I would be digging up some lily-of-valley the following spring. There was so much of it they would never have missed what I took.
DeleteYes, always heart breaking to do the old house drive by - but do we ever learn 😏 Let's hope they can make the charges stuck, I'd love to see Trump behind bars!
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with everything you've written.
DeleteYour old backyard looks like an English Garden. How sad they let it go. I loved that you got to see The Gathering Girls. How fun!! I look forward to a week of nothing on my calendar. I don't think I appreciated those days enough 😊 As for trump why is he allowed to run? If a felon can't vote he/she should not be allowed to run for office. And that dips**t was concerned about Obama's birthday place. He was too stupid to know Hawaii is a state. HA HA
ReplyDeleteI think he has to get convicted before he'd of a federal crime before he'd be disqualification. The Republican Party could stop him if they wanted to but they are all afraid of losing his fan base. But if they don't, we are going to loss our democracy. I'm so disgusted with what they are willing to put up with and how two-faced they are.
DeleteHow I smiled in recognition when I read about your re-visit to your old home. My returns weren't quite so distressing, but they were interesting. In 2011, when we took my mother's ashes to Iowa for burial, I went first past my childhood home. What surprised me was how small it actually was, even for a two-story. In memory, it was huge: but at least all of the trees still were there, apart from two crabapples that probably needed to go or died a natural death. The biggest change was the sloped driveway down into the basement level, where coal was delivered in the early days. It had been completely filled in and turned into part of the lawn. It looked odd to me, but not unpleasant.
ReplyDeleteWhen we went past the house my parents built in the late 1950s, I was astonished. I have a photo of it, looking almost exactly as it looked the day my mother moved out. The birch trees in the front yard were gone, but of course they don't last all that long. Another tree had been planted in their place, and a low brick retaining wall built around it, but otherwise? There were the same roses in the front 'garden,' the same yard light, the same paint color. It really was wonderful. I didn't have a photo of the house as it was when we lived in it, so I got the opportunity to get the next best thing. I guess if we can't go home again, and least we sometimes have the chance for a pleasant visit!
That was nice that you got to see the houses of your youth in states of repair not so changed that you felt bad for having gone by them.
DeleteI loved my home. It broke my heart to sell it. In the seven years since I sold it I have never driven by, and I never will. The pain would be unbearable whether it was in good or bad condition.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had been as wise as you are on this topic.
DeleteWe've been by (even in) the house I grew up in & it's 10 times better now. Except for replacing all the plumbing, my mom did next to no upkeep the last 15 years of her life. One of the sons who inherited the house next door to her, bought it for his family. He grew up there, helped out my mom as she got older & knew what issues my late brother caused, so he knew alot of what was wrong. Now it's amazing & so modern looking. Such a huge improvement over what it looked like in 2021 when I was cleaning it out to sell. He got it at a bargain & we didn't have to lift a finger to redo, replace or upgrade anything.
ReplyDeleteAs for needing the laser treatment after your cataract surgery, it's a 15-20 min procedure & will improve your eyesight once again. I've had both eyes done & the 1st one was within 2 years of the surgery. The 2nd eye had some growth, but it didn't affect the vision, & finally required the laser treatment after 6 or 7 years. My surgeon said that he personally, has never known someone to need a 2nd laser treatment on same eye, but it could happen. My fear is that I might need to have a 2nd replacement surgery. Ack!!! I had the cataract surgery when I was 50 (congenital cataracts) & was told the implants would last about 25-30 years. I'm 65 & have longevity in my family so could potentially live until 90+.
Under those circumstances visiting the house you grew up in would be a pleasure. I have a similar situation in the my niece bought the cottage where I spent all my summers growing. She's done some updating but keep the feel of it still being a cottage.
DeleteThanks for the information on the laser treatments. I didn't know that the lens they put in after cataract surgery had a life spam..but I should have.