Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

The March Madness and a Midwife Post

 

I’m not a fan of basketball but I am a fan of google and I’ve been researching why and what March Madness is all about. I love saying ‘March Madness’ and wish the term applied to something I care about. I do like the way the way those words rolls off my tongue but getting excited about when the National Collegiate Athletic Association basketball tournaments are held rates on a par with my upcoming endoscope and colonoscopy. March Madness, however, is the talk of my campus but no one here knows that in two weeks my personal plumbing is getting cleaned out from mouth to rectum. 

It’s interesting that the term was coined in 1939 and has stuck around ever since. Never under estimate the power of the written word. One little tiny title of an article for an in-house publication give birth to March Madness in its present form. I also think it’s pretty cool that Caitlin Clark made history on the basketball court during Women’s History Month by breaking a long-standing points record of 3,667 set by Pete Maravich to become the “all-time leading scorer in men’s and women’s division 1 basketball history.” Like I said I don’t follow or like basketball but there are plenty of fans here who talk non-stop about all the college basketball or football games going on in the country. Gag me with a spoon! No way out of those conversations if you want to eat. There’s an unwritten rule---but often vocalized rule---that no one eats alone in our cafe or main dining room. Trust me, I’ve tried sitting in the corner with my notebook writing like I used to enjoy doing at the Guy Land Cafeteria but no one would let me get away with that. Finally, I had to quit trying.

Change of topic: Would you go to a lecture in a Continuum Care Complex that was advertised this way? “Have you ever wondered about the process of giving birth in earlier centuries? Come and find out about the key role played by midwives in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, and learn about their importance both for the well-being of the mother and the baby. We will explore the training and preparation of midwives and the challenges they faced in their work.” I went, as I usually do with most of the lectures offered here. But on the surface this one seemed like a poor match for a place where no one works in health care and everyone is well past the birthing babies era of our lives. And to the best of my knowledge none of us are writing the next greatest historical romance novel featuring the spare heir to the Kingdom of York and his sister-in-law’s midwife which I now know wouldn’t have been historically accurate because midwives needed to be much older than your typical heroine in a romance novel.

The lecture fell under the heading of Women’s History and since it’s Women’s History Month I’m presuming that’s why our Enrichment Director picked it. Maybe it was her sneaky way to bring the topic of reproductive rights onto a campus full Right-to-Life supporters. Or maybe she picked the lecture because she didn’t get her request for something women’s history related in soon enough to get the first draft choices. I'm betting the lecture circuit program is like our library's Book Club in a Bag program where we have to pick our books to read well over a year in advance and then hope we live long enough to see our choices get delivered.

I did learn my perception of midwives was totally all wrong. I didn’t know, for example, that in Europe they had to have training and be licensed in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. I thought a midwife was someone who took on the role by calling herself by that title. They also had to be older women without families to take up a lot of their time and they had to be trained to baptist babies who might not live long enough for a priest to get there. It was against the law for a midwife to aid in an abortion and they could also be charged with murder if something when wrong with a birth. A baby’s death in the presence of a midwife caused her to have to prove in court (or not) that the death didn’t happen from anything the midwife did or didn’t do. 

Those days were so long ago and yet our Supreme Court is putting us right back to where health care workers put their own freedom at risk to help a woman during a pregnancy. New anti-women’s health laws are being put into law ever day outlawing medically necessary abortions even in cases of ectopic pregnancies, placental eruptions, women carrying fetuses without brains or kidneys that are destine to die in the womb or shortly after birth etc., etc. and now at least one Republican run state is passing a law declaring that fertilized frozen eggs have the rights of a full, born baby! Have you seen any of the interviews of the senators making theses laws? They clearly don’t understand biology. I need to get off my soap box because the fallout from overturning Roe vs Wade makes me angry. So I’ll end my blog post here by declaring that the topics of March Madness and women’s health/midwives is one of the strangest pairings I’ve done in a long time. There, I said it first!

But then again maybe the fact that women like Caitlin Clark are proving that, when given on an equal playing field, women can do anything a man can do is the very reason why so many old men lawmakers are willing to peel back the reproductive rights of women. 

Until Next Wednesday.  ©

25 comments:

  1. Good luck with the endoscopy and colonoscopy. Why the endoscopy? Those usually aren't routine procedures so I hope nothing is wrong.

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    1. I have some minor swallowing issues that I think are the results of a TIA a long time ago, but the doctor threw the test in because its a good time to do one while I'm under from the colonoscopy. The colonoscopy is the end of the line test trying to figure out why one of my legs swells up that started last July 4th. If they find anything I'll be shocked. I wish I hadn't let them talk me into these procedures.

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  2. Sometimes I wonder if some of these lawmakers are watching The Handmaid’s Tale and getting inspired by that show instead of horrified.

    Deb

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    1. Just last night at dinner I said it feels like we're living in the Handmaidens Tale. It sure seems like the lawmakers are taking their ques from the book, doesn't it.

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    2. Deb, I wonder the same thing. And that's not good.

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  3. I know very little about sports, but we have family members who are huge enthusiasts. It seems to be a common bond for many, and I guess that's a good thing.

    When it comes to midwives, I have to confess the sum of my knowledge has come from BBC's Call the Midwife. Gosh, I've watched that program for a dozen years--at least. I had no idea about the historical facts you shared, though. It must have been so difficult to protect mother and child during home deliveries. Another prime example of some very brave women coming to the rescue of others!

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    1. The lecturer said when the medical community started pushing women to have their babies in hospitals the death rate when up because at that point in history they didn't believe it was necessary to wash their hands between seeing patients!

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  4. It's fun for some to get into March Madness and follow their favorite team to see how far they can go in the NCAA tournament. Just a nice diversion for some. I don't follow it but I don't mind those that do.
    I think the PBS show "Call the Midwives" might have prompted that talk on midwives of the past. It's a popular show and it explores women's issues and the changes throughout the years.
    Have a good week! :)

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    1. I've seen some episodes of the Midwives but it's been awhile.

      March Madness sure does give some people a nice diversion. Not for me but it's better than living around a bunch of sourpusses who are not interested in anything.

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  5. I'm rather fond of March Madness, although I still pay casual attention because of the role it played in our lives when I was in high school. The "March Madness blizzard" was a common weather event in those years. It showed up so regularly that it became a joke; we expected it, and it always arrived. Apart from that, I do get a kick out the so-called 'Cinderella teams' that show up every year: the small schools that improbably knock off more highly rated contenders. Just last weekend, a school where I often attended events -- Drake University, in Des Moines -- defeated top ranked Indiana State to win an NCAA berth. Drake winning in basketball seems as odd as a blizzard in July, but I grinned when I heard about it.

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    1. There is something about the college teams being in the sports news---as opposed to the professional teams---that seems to spare old memories of the glory days when my neighbors were all in college. And they all wear the gear to support their favorites. Never heard the term 'Cinderella teams' but I love it.

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  6. You're getting your plumbing cleaned out from mouth to rectum in a couple of weeks? (I assume you meant plumbing, not "plumping." And if you meant plumping, what is that?!) I hope it's just routine. As for your two subjects, I'd find the midwife thing fascinating and I have no direct kids nor plan to help deliver! I like the basketball stuff -- to a degree. (You live in EL, you have to like it, though this year MSU stinks.) But it could get old after awhile. Pity you can't eat alone if you choose. Yesterday I skipped our monthly retiree lunch (which I usually enjoy) because I couldn't handle the social energy. Mine is waning, seeming to work only with one-on-one or maybe two. It's nice to have the company around but not all the time!

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    1. God, I hate spelling! I can never seem to find all my mistakes no matter how many times I proof-read. They also remind me of how I miss the days when my husband proof-read every word I wrote. He was good at finding them but also like my mom, he was annoyed that I could write so much but STILL not spell.Thanks for saving me before too many people read this. LOL

      I can always eat in my apartment or go off campus if I'm feeling anti-social but I often miss being able to write at a public place where you can dream up back stories for people. Even if I go down by the lake to sit on a bench and write people walk by and want to talk or even sit down next to you. Friendly to a fault is how I'd describe this place, which is better than stuck up and standoffish.

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  7. I almost decided to have my first child at home with a midwife. I had watched a movie at the hospital "birth classes" taught by the head OB nurse who was my aunt. I told her I did not want to have a baby in front of all those people in the delivery room. She explained that in our small town hospital you got a doctor and a nurse. If you were lucky and they were slow, there was a second nurse for the baby. She figured everyone in the hospital came to the delivery room (they still had delivery rooms back then) to be in the movie.
    I will say that if they had the drugs and epidurals like they do now, I would have signed up in a hot minute. I think that even in 2024 child birth could be much more comfortable and less traumatic if men had the babies. Women suffer because it is assumed they must bear the cost of pain.
    I liken it to pulling a tooth. No one expect you to have teeth pulled without some Novocain or something. But a woman is applauded for pushing a nine pound human out of her nether regions with out pain relief.
    I'm old enough to remember when the only girls who were able to get an abortion either had a family who would drive to New York on "vacation" or to visit an aunt, or fly to Florida or the Islands on "vacation" too. The girls whose families couldn't afford that had to wear a girdle to school so they didn't get expelled. And their parents could sign over the babies without any input or opinion of a girl under 21. I am pretty sure those families were all Republicans.

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    1. Love your tooth pulling analogy and it's 100% true. The only person I knew in high school was pregnant died from a back street abortion that her father---and also the baby's father---took her to.

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  8. I know what basketball is and that is about all I know about it, never heard of March Madness before. Since I love history I would attemnd such a lecture, had no idea midwives needed training back in the 16 & 17 centuries

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  9. I'd go to that lecture! I find most aspects of medical history fascinating. Midwifery is yet another part of Women's Work and Women's History that is grossly underappreciated and unknown.

    As far as March Madness, I am always surprised at how anyone can get jazzed about a college team if they didn't go to school there themselves. I suppose that's how far removed from it all I am.

    And you know I'm with you about the way women's health and reproductive rights continue to be trampled upon by the republican party. If men were the ones carrying and birthing children, we all know things would be radically different. I say Mandatory Vasectomies at age 10. That solves everything. If the males decide they want to procreate, they can apply for a reversal and present the proper paperwork. Maybe even from clergy! How's that, republicans?

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    1. You'd cause quite a stir if you seriously suggested mandatory vasectomies. Hehehehe. It ticks me off that when the issue of abortion comes up it's always the woman who takes the blame for wanting and/or needing one. She didn't get pregnant all by herself.

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    2. The back story of midwives was interesting. I dated a male midwife (one of only two in the state of PA at the time) for 10-15 years. He was so beloved by his patients and they were devastated when he left PA to work at Vanderbilt training midwives.

      Good luck with your upcoming procedures. I need to schedule a colonoscopy (which my doc says can be the last one I need to do if I pass) but honestly, getting a ride is worse than the prep for the procedure!

      I love the suggestion about mandatory vasectomies! I've been trying to get a movement going to test the DNA of every baby born so that the actual father can be involved from the beginning. Knowing the reputations of sons of elected officials, I'll bet that would bring the issue close to home!
      Nina

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    3. Mandatory DNA testing sounds good on the surface but like reversing Roe vs Wade it would have some unexpected consequences that might or might not be acceptable. Think of how easy law enforcement could solve cases if everyone was DNA tested, not just rape cases and murder cases. And what if someone wanted to start a business of buying or force us to 'donate' our genes to cure certain diseases.

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  10. I agree with your rant. I live in a state that has lost so many OBs that thre hospital delivery rooms have closed, and half the high risk OBs have left. Women have to be life flighted out because the only exception is imminent death, not health, of the mother.

    I used a midwife for the at home births of my two kids. One was English so it was like Call the Midwives, but not in a tenement. We had indoor plumbing and a phone!

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    1. I'm so out of touch with "birthing babies" that I don't even know if they use midwives here. Glad you have indoor plumbing. hehehe

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  11. I hope your procedures go smoothly. No Politician needs to be making Medical decisions for anyone. No one Religious view should dictate Health decisions either. It should be between a Patient and their Medical Professional what care is recommended and received. In Mom's Country they had Midwives doing all birthing and often in the Home...Dawn the Bohemian

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    1. The lecturer said in the 1920s when it became the norm for doctors in hospitals to deliver babies the death rates when up because a lot of doctors didn't believe in washing their hands.

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