Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Getting my First Passport, the SAVE Act and other Confessions

I've never had a passport. It's been decades since I was out of the country---to Mexico, Canada, and the Caribbean Islands---and back then we didn't need them. The trip to Mexico was in the 1965. I had a cousin who lived in California and on a visit he took us down to Tijuana where he helped me haggle over the price of a gold watch on a chain that I still have today. It's the size of a silver dollar and has Roman numerals on its face. Tourist grade, I'm sure, but very ornate and pretty and I almost lost it when I took it off during a one-night stand. It was the early '70s and what can I say, we singles did stuff like that. I'm not proud of it but facts are facts. 

The next morning the guy was decent enough to come to the place where I worked to return the watch. He thought it was an antique. I didn't even know it was missing but I was grateful to get it back. I have vivid memories of that return because at the time I was wearing custom-made, orthopedic shoes that laced up the side and they were so ugly the guy couldn't help saying that out loud. In my work clothes I was dressed nothing like my ultra ego from the night before. She might have been 'hot' like the kids have re-branded 'sexy' today. But seeing me in the light of the day, without the glow of a disco ball casting a spell over us, he probably drove way that morning thinking he had more to drink the night before than he thought. Heck, my transformation might have even been responsible for him giving up drinking. If I could rewrite my personal history that's the way I'd end that scene. Note I didn't say I'd rewrite the one-night stand out of drama. Sometimes what we regret doing in life teaches us valuable lessons.

My trip to Canada took place in the late 1970s and we didn't need passports then either. We were just passing through on our way back from Colorado taking the scenic, long route home to Michigan. Mostly what I remember about that trip was that for some reason the people up there all seemed to know we weren't Canadians. To us we didn't look or sound different. I'm old and I also think I might have been to Canada on a trip with my parents when I was a kid but without photographic proof your guess is as good as mine. I gave my oldest niece custody of my folk's photos albums and I'll need a field trip to her cottage to verify my vague memory of standing next to a Canadian flag in a circle of colorful flowers…well, I assume they were colorful. The photo---if it exists---is in black and white. I joke about how at my age when I learn or experience new things old things need to fall out of my brain to make room. Unfortunately, that's probably more truth than humorous banner to cover up my failing memory.

I was online recently reading an article about how the 45/47 administration is trying to make it harder for women to vote with the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act (SAVE Act) that passed the House and is working its way through Senate hearings. It will require women who've changed their names after getting married to jump through an extra hoop to prove citizenship. A birth certificate and marriage certificate won't be enough. You'll have to apply to the state for proof that you applied to change your last name to your husband's, no matter how long ago a woman was married. Lord help her if she's been married more than once. Even if the SAVE Act becomes law that part won't effect me because I didn't change my name when I got married. 

But the article got me to thinking because it will require certain kinds of picture IDs I don't have to comply with the SAVE Act as it's written now. Thus was born the burning desire to get a Passport Card. A Passport Card is different (and cheaper) than a regular passport and will get you into Canada, Mexico, Bermuda and the Caribbean but not onto international flights to go else where which is fine by me. My traveling days are all but over but I do like the idea that with a Passport Card I could run away to Canada if the USA goes all out Handmaid's Tale on us. And I also harbor a daydream of going on one of the Caribbean cruises that are filled with thousands of Mahjong players. It's a dream I know I'll never follow through on, unless I win the lotto and can invite a village to go with me.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking an Enhanced Driver's License ID can also get me to Mexico and Canada and be a second photo ID. I missed the deadline to get one that is now required to get on international flights and I don't have the REAL ID either that as of May seventh is now required for all domestic air travel and to get into federal facilities and on military bases. It would have been smarter and cheaper to get the Enhanced ID instead of a Passport Card. The Passport Card and REAL ID can be used interchangeably, but the DMV (where you have to go to get the EID and RID) is busier and harder to get to than our city hall where I have to go to get the Passport Card. That made the choice easier for me. I downloaded the passport application online, got a friend here to take the required photo---not an easy task since it has to be a two inch square photo with a one inch face showing. 

When the Passport Card gets here I'll feel better, knowing I'll be able to produce two forms of citizenship documentation if/when the SAVE Act becomes law. (And I think it will, given that the Republicans are in control of the Senate.) While we're being distracted by 45/47 daily shenanigans, like posting photos of himself dressed like the Pope on the White House account, the creators of Project 2025 are quietly working behind the scenes to freeze as many women out of the next election as they can. ©

 Until Next Wednesday.

46 comments:

  1. First time reader of your blog. I liked this post and I'll be back. I agree that the awfulness of 45/47 is miniature when compared to that of Project 2025. May you have no complications in obtaining your Passport Card.

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    1. I hope not either. If I do, we're all in trouble and welcome to my blog.

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  2. A Real ID is not always proof of citizenship. In most states it is merely a recognition that the holder is in good legal status in the US and therefore allowed a license. Right now only 5 states issue what’s called an EDL/EID which has a flag on it to designate citizenship (Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Vermont and Washington - notice where their northern borders are).

    One of my sons changed his last name after my ex-husband had a 25 year marriage annulled in the Catholic Church so he would have to go through the same process if he didn’t have a passport. Scary days.

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    1. The proposed State-issued Enhanced Driver's Licenses and identification cards (EDL/EID) didn't pass in all states. In California for example, the Enhanced Driver's license bill was vetoed by the governor for privacy reasons. It's not a dead issue and its safe to say if the Republican senators get their way the SAVE ACt bill bill get passed in some form or another.

      I can't understand why the Catholic Church can annul a 25 year old marriage.

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  3. I don't have the real ID but do have my passport, which they CLAIM is enough.Who knows. I still have my name. It's confusing for me and I'm reasonably mentally intact. How on earth are people with less capability going to handle this one?

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    1. I think they mean to keep it confusing so a lot of people come election time will give up.

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    2. šŸ‘ spot on!

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  4. I also missed the deadline for the Real ID. Since I didn't have any air travel planned, I decided to wait and apply after the May 7 rush dies down. I do have a passport, but in this current environment I will feel better having every single ID they might require. Who would ever have thought we would find ourselves here??? I got my passport photo taken at AAA, whose membership comes in handy in all kinds of ways. My dad insisted that his daughters carry that membership when we learned to drive, just in case, and it has proven valuable enough that I keep it.
    Nina

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    1. I agree, since the law isn't passed yet it could take any form and require any number of documents. I want to be prepared.

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    2. In my area, the Walgreens store takes photos for passports.

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    3. I wish I had known that! They probably all do. Hope you tip helps someone else reading this thread.

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  5. I have a passport book. I will have to make sure I have my birth certificate and my marriage license or my divorce papers when I go to vote if they pass that law. What a mess they are making of our country.

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    1. I know! I hate how fast they've been able to change the character and reputation of our country in just 100 days!

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  6. As I understand it, the SAVE Act will only affect women who are newly registering to vote. If you're already registered and voted in the past (and I know you have) it won't affect you. (Still, it pretty much stinks as just another way to suppress the vote.)

    I recently went to my granddaughter's college graduation from Texas A&M (Gig'em, Aggies!) and my ex-husband's wife had problems with her ID when they flew to Texas from CA. Her mother had named her Sheryl, but she's always gone by Cheryl, so she has different names on several IDs. Since the Real ID law only just went into effect, she was hassled but they let her travel anyway, with a *stern warning* to get it fixed.

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    1. I had not heard that about it only affecting women who are newly registered. That may have been one of the details that was hanging up the debate in the House before it finally passed and moved on the Senate.

      My brother had that same issue with being named one thing at birth but going by a different name all his life. But on legal documents he did know enough to use his birth given name. At one point in time he thought about getting it changed legally. My mom was born at home and she was registered as a boy with entirely different name than the one she thought she was...didn't find out until after she was married and my brother was born. Can you imagine the trouble TSA would have given her!

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  7. I understand your reasoning but feel sad that it makes sense. I have both a passport and an enhanced drivers license— and the thing is neither were easy to procure. It takes extra effort to fuss around to get them.

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    1. I'm afraid that too many people won't hear about the new voting requirements in time---assuming this law passes----to jump through the hoops to qualify to vote in the next election. I really hate going to the DMV but I'm seriously debating if I should also get the enhanced driver's license, too. I was hoping to wait until my regular license is due but that's a long way off.

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    2. I had to make 3 trips with different paperwork to get the enhanced driver's license in my state that is not a "real id). I can enter federal buildings with it and maybe I can board a flight within the borders? I have decided I need a passport. I do not have any travel plans but I don't trust my state in changing voting rules just prior to an election.

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    3. That was my reasons for getting a Passport Card which I hope is going to be enough...I can't see them forcing everyone to get a regular passport. It takes a very long time now, to get one. I can't imagine what it would be like if every voter needed one.

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  8. Fingers crossed for us all!

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    1. We need all the luck we can get, given the speed in switch the current administration is ignoring the constitution.

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  9. What an embarrassment he is. The whole Universe must be aghast at what is going on over here. I have not done either Real ID or Passport.

    Thanks to one of your followers, I will go the AAA route as it sounds easier!

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    1. I was shocked that to get a passport card that the city halls don't have their own camera to take those photos.

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  10. Gone are the sentimental and romantic days of starry-eyed women taking the man's name when they get married. Neither of my sons' wives/wives-to-be made that choice, and I heartily agreed with them. What a lot of unnecessary hassle. When I got married long ago, I almost kept my own name, too. That woman did a heck of a lot of things I was proud of, and I felt a little like I was letting her go.

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    1. My husband used to be against women keeping their own name, but if you have a career, own property, etc. it really is a lot of hassle.

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  11. God he's an ass Jean. We have passports but they have expired. And thankfully when we moved to NC we had to get new licenses and they suggested we do the Real ID at that time. Thankfully we did.

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    1. I don't know if expired passports will work for voter ID.but if I was you I'd keep my eyes open for the answer.

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  12. Hilarious story. Yes we did some crazy things back then. I haven't gotten any new valid ids, etc. Its just so dang much trouble. I'll probably be really sorry in the future that I didn't take care of it since it will be incredibly cumbersome to do in the future.

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    1. We've got time, now, to get our documentation in order.

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  13. I haven't had a Passport since the early 1970's, haven't been to Canada since the 1960's when you didn't need a Passport to enter, last time I was in Mexico was 2007 and you didn't need a Passport to enter then either, haven't been to Europe since the early 1970's and that's when I got said last Passport. Brief flings, well, I have had more than a few and the Era was responsible, as you said... bwahahahahaha, that's our Story and we're sticking to it, right? As for Voting and all the Voter Suppression tactics, well, they gotta try something coz they know they'll likely never Win again with a free and fair Election. I've been told my Military ID will be sufficient since it's Government issued and you can't get one of those easily and the Military installations are thorough, probably more than most ID issuers.

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    1. Oh, yes, I have some fond memories from the '70s with some bad ones mixed in.

      I'm really surprised that you don't have a passport given your daughter lived in Mexico and you still have family there. I have not seen any discussion of whether or not a military ID would be proof of citizenship for voting but it sure should be.

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  14. I do not have the new drivers license but plan on getting one soon. I will not be doing any traveling but I want to make sure my right to vote is not jeopardized. A lot of women from the past fought to give us that right and for that I am grateful. Wow a one night stand, who knew? I was highly insulted by the leader of our country decked out in the Pope’s robes and I am not even Catholic! It was disgusting, disgraceful, shameful, and why he thought that was appropriate is beyond me. Everyday I am reminded how much damage he is doing to our people, our country, and our world as there is no end to his evilness. God help us šŸ™

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    1. Me too on the Pope and I'm not Catholic either. The man was not even in his final resting place yet, for crying out loud. 45/47 is a disgusting pig.

      You got that right about the women who worked so hard and long to get us the right to vote, we can't take that lightly. We have to fight to keep and USE it.

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  15. PLEASE PLEASE make sure you have a valid ID to vote! Check with your county, and why not make double sure by having two? Yes, it's outrageous that it is a hassle, and it's outrageous that it might cost you time and money. These are just a few of the hurdles that have been put up to make sure NOT every citizen can vote. You don't want to be turned away from voting for this - which will happen. Remember the suffragists, and civil rights activists, and what they went through for us to have the right to vote.

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    1. You're right. I probably should make sure I have an Enhanced Driver's license as well as the passport card. I'm worried about our next election and that's why I wrote this post in the first place, to remind women to pay attention to what is going on. Thank you for adding your voice to the warning/reminder.

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  16. This was interesting to this Aussie gal as I know nothing about travelling from the USA to Canada, Mexico or anywhere else for that matter.

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    1. I don't travel either so it's understandable that we didn't know this stuff.

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  17. I have three expired passports, and that alone has made me think applying for a new passport might be the way to go. Granted, there's the cost and the extended time to wait for it to arrive, but when I contemplate a trip to the DMV -- well, no one wants to do that. On the other hand, thinking about that did remind me of what it was like to bank in Liberia. If you took a check to the bank in order to deposit part of it and get some cash back, it took standing in several lines. First, you stood in line to get the check 'approved.' (Who knows what that was about. It never took any time.) Then, you stood in a line to cash the check. Then, you stood in another line to deposit part of the cash. YO! It's full employment at its best!

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    1. It doesn't cost as much to renew a passport than to get a brand new one. And there's a good chance you can do it online depending on when it expired. Google it.

      The banking in Liberia really does sound like they got their training from the same place as the DMV. LOL

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    2. I didn't know that renewal costs less; I hadn't done any exploring, so thanks for that tip. I'll check it out.

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  18. I have a current passport, so I just figured I would get the Real ID when I renew my license. If they want birth certificates with original names, I have that too. But what a pain. It’s hard to believe how much of a mess they are making of everything that feels normal in this country.

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    1. I know! It's an unsettling feeling to see so many people in the House and Senate who are willing to overlook what is happening. It's not the same America we could be proud of in the past.

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  19. I am so glad I found you. I learn something with every post. I am Canadian, born and raised in Windsor, and I have to tell you that we all thought we could spot Americans. Not the accent, but the usage. The newer, slighly trendier clothing. The attitude. I used to walk across the exit ramp from the Ambassador Bridge on my way to and from high school. And I once had a car stop, flag me down, and ask where the nearest skiing could be found. As far as I know, Essex and Kent Counties are the flattest land anywhere. They used to be part of an inland sea. That was an American who was indeed easy to spot.
    I hope you get all of your identiy stuff fixed up and have no trouble voting.

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    1. That's a funny story about the car that stopped and being asked about skiing!

      Be sure to read the comments as well as the posts. I often learn from from what others share in the comments.

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  20. Also, re married name. When I was married, in 1963, a woman automatically took her husband's name. No paperwork. Your 'maiden' name was no longer legal. I was married during my university years and was not allowed to graduate using my family ('maiden') name. It really annoyed me.
    And I hear you about the one night.

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    1. I did not know the name change was automatic at one point in time. I wonder when that changed...that you have to take the extra step to legally change you name after marriage. I wonder if that is true in ALL states.

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