Zumba Classes and my Trip to Computer Hell

I’m typing and words are appearing on the screen so I must still be alive. I wasn’t sure about that when I laid down for a nap after my first Zumba Gold class. Hint: if you ever take one don’t plan to do anything afterward that includes close personal contact because Zumba will make you sweat like a wild boar. I knew I was in trouble when I pulled into the parking lot and saw a woman who I knew, from the boom box she carried, would be the instructor. She was pencil thin and was dressed like Workout Barbie in aqua petal pushers, a matching tank top and shoes and she had a ponytail tied with a girlie-girl bow. This was a class at the senior hall and she was no spring chicken but could that woman dance!

We started with Salsa and Merengue music then switched to some Bollywood with moves that reminded me of the belly dance class I took back in the Dark Ages only done in double time. Then we went on a Latin American tour starting with Jamaican Reggae. And at one point I felt like the Brazilian samba singer, Carmen Miranda, with a bowl of fruit on my head. We also did some cha-cha, ball-and-chain and other steps I learned way back when I was still learning long division and was taking tap and jazz classes at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio. Ohmygod, we even did some hip hop and did we ever get our Beyonce` on with butt pops and pelvic thrusts. I have never been the most graceful cow in the pasture but Zumba made me feel like I have six feet and a learning disability. As exercise classes go it was really fun! It was fast paced with no breaks in between the music tracks---Ricky Martin, Jennifer Lopez, Gloria Estefan and others I’m not up on enough to know their names. When I checked my pedometer I’d registered over 5,000 steps in that one hour long class! I was exhausted but I liked it well enough that I want to find some Zumba shoes. That would probably help with that six-footed heifer look I took on during the class. Walking shoes with arch-locks don’t let you pivot, slide and get your Latin rhythm going.

The other news I have is I’m still in computer hell; you know that place where one problem leads to another and another. It all started on the 22nd of last month when my desktop was nearing its first birthday and it got an “update” from Microsoft that wiped out all my photos, documents, settings, contacts, etc. and turned it back to factory fresh complete with tutorials and welcome screens. (I’m using my backup laptop.)  My local computer repair guy said he’d never seen anything like that before and he was able to restore most of it because I have Carbonite back up. But he couldn’t get my incoming email in Outlook fixed, and said I’d have to contact my server. The server said my settings were all correct and I’d have to contact an online support. That online support turned out to be a place that remotely takes control of your computer to fix the issue.

Well, they fixed the email but in the process they disabled my keyboard. I calling them back and spent THREE hours with them online as they tried to uninstall and install new drivers and whatever else they were doing remotely. Finally, they gave up and sent me a check for $80.00 to replace my wave, ergonomic keyboard. I bought the new keyboard and after one try I couldn’t get it going so I took the whole ball of wax back to the local computer shop who couldn’t make it work either. Bottom line: they are wiping my computer clean, reinstalling windows and my Office Suit, then will add back my photos and files. What a mess! Never again will I let someone remotely control my computer. The computer guy said I was the third person in recent days to come in with a similar back story involving a remote control support site and they hadn’t seen that in several years. Another interesting thing he said is that most of viruses that people get on their computers, now, are coming from printing out coupons. I don’t do that but if you do, be careful! Go to the official sites for the stores and not to those coupon collection sites.

Next week I get to be a college girl again when two of my Olli classes start. I’ll also have time to take another Balance/Tai Chi Class and Zumba class and, I hope, I can get my desktop tweaked back to the way it was before it took me to computer hell. ©

Bones, Bingo and Tai Chi for Widows

 

I always thought if you found me playing bingo you could just put me on a chunk of ice and let me float out to sea the way the some indigenous people used to do to their elderly who were too old to pull their weight in the tribe. So imagine my surprise when I found myself sitting with three bingo cards in front of me for the first time since I was a kid. My, how times change! These cards had sliding tabs to cover the numbers. What happened to the red bingo chips of my youth? And I hear tell they even have handheld electronic gadgets that let you keep track of dozens of cards at one time. Who knew! But I bet you’d like to know how an anti-bingo-no-not me type got roped into playing. I went to a summer potluck at the senior hall and as I was walking out the door a widow friend asked, “You’re not staying for bingo?”

“I’m not a bingo kind of person,” I replied.

“Me neither,” she said, “But I don’t have anything else to do today.”

I got out to the car, put my potluck dish on the back seat and thought: Well, shoot, I don’t have anything else to do either. So I went back inside and sat at a table with bunch of ladies from the Movie and Lunch Club. I was proud of myself because I’m generally not a spontaneous kind of person and I didn’t let my snobbish, stereotype opinion about bingo hold me back. By luck the woman sitting next to me plays bingo 3-4 times a week and she gave me a crash course on playing bingo. Corners, straight line, postage stamp, full card and bingo-the-hard-way are a few of the bingo variations that we played. I also learned she often wins between fifty and a hundred-and-fifty dollars a week playing bingo! A light bulb went on in my head. Some old people must be supplementing their income playing bingo! And here I thought they only played for soup cans and pizza kits. At the senior hall, however, a winning card only brings in one to three dollars. I went home with an extra buck in my wallet and a lot of laughs under my belt. It was fun because the people around me were fun.

Earlier in the week, though, I wasn’t laughing. I woke up with a “slipped” rib causing a stabbing pain with every move, deep breath, yawn or sneeze. Sometimes called a “floating rib” I learned that the 11^th and 12^th ribs are ribs that are attached to the spine but not to the sternum like all our other ribs and they can slip out of place, putting pressure on internal organs. I also learned that at one time in the history of fashion women had been known to have these ribs removed to help give them a more hour-glass figure. I would have done my own rib surgery the day my rib slipped out of place if I had had a sharp scalpel, a bone saw and someone to hold a mirror up to my back, it hurt that bad. An appointment with the chiropractor, though, took care of the pain in less than five minutes and with no blood spilled or drugs shot up my veins. It was like a mini miracle. Since all stories should have a moral or lesson to teach, this story sings the praises of keeping your core muscles strong so they and the ligaments can help keep your 11^th and 12^th ribs in place as you age.

Today I was back to the senior center to take a Balance Class where we’ve started doing Tai Chi moves. Or I should say kindergarten Tai Chi as our instructor calls it because we’re required to keep a chair near-by to grab should we lose our balance. Tai Chi moves have some neat names like: the white crane, calming the water, lotus flower and gathering the stars. We also learned the horse stance and the bear walk and when class was done we all thought it was a great work out. By next spring, we kidded, we’ll be good enough to do to Tai Chi barefoot in the park the way they do in the orient. We’ll have our qi (life force or energy) flowing through us because our body’s yin and yang will be in perfect balance. One class and already I can throw around the lingo (hopefully correctly). Pretty cool for an old bag of bones like me, don’t you think. ©