“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean
Showing posts with label high tea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high tea. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

High Tea and the Mayor

It’s a rare occasion when I share a photo of myself online but the one below of me all dolled up and experiencing High Tea seems like a good time to do it. People on my continuum care campus are not used to seeing me put any effort into my clothing. (Jeans and a sweat or tee shirt are my uniform.) Heck, I even broke out the jewelry and I traded in my tennis shoes for some black dress shoes I’ve owned for two years and only wore once before. The self appointed mayor of our independent living building even paid me a complement while were waiting for our bus---only the third one I’ve gotten out of him in the nearly two years we’ve lived here. And one of those complements was for a poem I wrote that got me in a little trouble with the management. The third complement the Mayor gave me was when I walked a run-away at a purple fashion show for Alzheimer's Awareness. I wore a long, purple and turquoise  lounging dress of fake silk and he told me I “won the fashion show.”   

Mr. Mayor is an odd duck in many ways but in other ways he’s typical of most males born just before WWII whose ideas of the male/female roles are firmly fixed in his head. I met him the first month after we both moved in. I was in the cafe by myself and he came in and asked if he could join me. I said ‘yes’ and a scant few minutes later he got up and said he changed his mind and he moved to another table by himself. I found out later on that his wife had died not long before that and he was kind of a shy, corporate lawyer. His wife was a stay-at-home mom of five boys who always had a cocktail waiting for him when he got home from work and she laid his clothes out for him in the morning. She'd never even shaved her legs in front of him and they dressed for dinner at night. Fast forward to now, it didn’t take him long to get over his shyness and now he has what we all call his harem that he dines with him weekly at the so-called Mayor’s Table--seven women who are the cream of the crop, the head cheerleaders, the most bedazzled, the Royalty and Chosen Ones---I’ve used all these nicknames in my head and they often have cocktails beforehand in one of their apartments. His guest list changes slightly from time to time but I’ve never been invited to dine with the mayor so it's a good thing it's not on my Bucket List. In all fairness, the Harem mostly lives on the same floor which makes it easier for them to form friendships. I live on a hall with only six apartments and I rarely see anyone on my floor and I doubt I could pick two of them out of a lineup.

I do often sit at the community table with Mr. Mayor at lunch time and know how seriously he takes his job as the self-appointed mayor. He set up a residence council with by-laws and legal papers and a newsletter that he did ask me to be in charge of, which I turned down. I knew I had the experience to put one together but how he could possibility know that based on one poem I wrote and hung in the mail room is still beyond my comprehension. I’ve never told anyone here about the 24 page, by-monthly Readers Voice Newsletter I sold by subscription for ten years. I don’t even think my nieces knew about it. And Don---bless his heart---edited every word I wrote for spelling errors and in the process he learned a lot about romance books, the women who wrote them and read them. 

Anyway, back to the mayor. He’s kind of the center of every event. He makes speeches and advocates for residences on all kinds of things. For example, he got management to install dehumidifiers for those who wanted them attached to their furnaces and he wrangled a seat at the table when our CEO got promoted and the management was interviewing his replacement. He got them to agree to a matching fund to buy a baby grand for our lobby (but the majority of we residents voted the idea down). He might be a self-appointed mayor but he’s more than earned the title. 

Going to High Tea: that’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was in The Red Hat Society and I lost the opportunity to go with them. Back then we didn’t have a High Tea place in town so going was a day trip, and back then I couldn’t leave my husband alone for more than a scant two hours. My red hat sisters came back raving about how much fun it was to dress to the nines and be served exotic teas, fancy sandwiches and pastries on elegant china. 

A High Tea room opened up here in town this summer and the decor and table settings were rich and fancy with its exposed, vintage brick wall and red velvet davenports and gold trimmed china which is a good thing because the service was not great and the food was so over priced it could have ruined the experience if we had let it. (The photo of the menu is below.) By the time they added on the tax and the tip it was $49.00! per person. It looks like a lot of food for the $37 but everything you get for the $37 was two-bites and while it all tasted good, $49 plus $7 for the bus ride really put a nick in my budget. Or as one of my High Tea companions said, “I might as well have rolled up dollar bills and lite them on fire.” 

Still, the experience made me feel young again. Young enough to be having tea parties with my mom and later on with my nieces when they came along. My mom didn’t drink coffee or soda pops. I don’t even remember her drinking lemonade but I find it hard to believe that she’d have made it for us kids without pouring herself a glass or two. I also don’t remember her ever drinking ice tea but, again, I obviously didn’t pay enough attention back in those days to imprint a lasting memory of her liking ice tea or not. Her English ancestries would be proud that her appreciation for a good cup of hot tea never wavered. And that tea better be hot or she’d sent it back to where it came from for a do-over. Funny how some memories stick with you and others seem to float away like dandelions blowing in the wind. 

Until next Wednesday... ©



 


Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Too Much Screen Time!


Often times over dinner people here on the continuum care campus will ask each other what we did all day. A table of twelve might bring answers like, “I went to Macy’s…” or “…out to lunch with my daughter” or “I went to the farmer's stand south of town to buy sweet corn” or “I had physical therapy this morning and napped all afternoon.” I rarely have an answer that I feel like giving because the truth makes me sound so lazy. Instead, I’ll say I was busy all day but don’t remember what all I did. (And it just dawned on me that apparently I don’t mind looking like I have dementia setting in.) But the truth usually goes like this: I spent two hours writing a poem, then I wadded it up and threw in the waste basket” or  “I watched too many Facebook Shorts where I laughed or smiled at dogs, cats, gorillas, panda bears, two-toes sloths, immigrant comedies or a hottie Ukrainian dancer that takes me back to all the Gene Kelly movies I loved as a kid. I don’t actually tell anyone about the hottie so let’s keep that between us, okay? I don’t want anyone in my family or here at the CCC (should they stumble onto my blog) to label me as a---what? Couger? Creepy old woman who cyber stalks man-boys? Someone who wishes I was young enough to move my body the way Itslavik does?

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1528848141257257 Itslavik

I have a habit of pigging out on too much screen time in my life. At night I watch an hour (sometimes two) of Netflix. I just finished binge watching Suits and I’m looking for something new that is binge worthy. I was half way through season six of Suits when I realized that one of the main characters is played by none other than the Maghan Markle. She’s really a good actress! Then she had to go and ruin the series by marrying The Spare to the Royal Monarch and the series wasn’t the same. I guess it wouldn’t be proper for the Duchess of Sussex to be filmed making out with her TV co-star. Such prudes, those British people. The writers sent her character and her TV husband off to California never to be seen again. The series is set at a New York lawyer firm that only hires from Harvard. Except for one guy. Maghan’s TV flame and later TV husband, Mike, who talked his way into a job as a lawyer even though he’d never been to lawyer school. Of course, he and the wall partner of the firm who hired him spent several seasons trying to hide that fact and another season trying to keep themselves out of prison.

I did find time to finish another custom paint-by-number. (You send a photo into the company and they turn it into a paint-by-number kit.) The painting I made with the kit is to the left. I gave it to the little girl's grandmother but her dog kept barking at it so she gave to her granddaughter, the subject of the portrait. I've had dogs do the same thing with other portrait paintings and I wasn't surprised because this one turned out with the "haunting eyes" that seem to look at you no matter where you stand. How cool is that! I had a hard time letting it go. The girl in the painting is older now and she loves her portrait so all's well that ends well.

I got a pedicure today and the place was overrun with little girls and their mothers. I was clueless that this has become a back-to-school ritual for people with their priorities out of order. In my humble opinion I should add. One woman with three daughters and herself paid $350 plus tip! If you have that much discretionary money on hand why not buy $25 worth of polish and files and teach your daughters how to give themselves or each other nail care and send the rest of the money to the Red Cross or some other charity helping out with the fires in Maui? A couple of those little girls acted like they'd rather be anywhere else but getting pampered by a manicurist and pedicurist at the same time. At least I have an excuse for getting my toenails done: I'm old and can't reach them anymore. I really hate paying for pedicures!

It feels like summer is already over with all the back to school stuff in stores and our fall schedule filling in here at the CCC. I signed up for way too many outings, given I've been busting my budget lately. But how could I turn down a bus trip to my favorite tourist town in the whole world? Or to High Tea or to a lecture by the author of a Braiding Sweetgrass? I’ve only gone to High Tea once, back 15-20 years ago when I was in the Red Hat Society. After I signed up for this tea I remembered I no longer have a hat nor an outfit suitable for the event. So I hopped on Amazon and order a $7.00 Flapper hat that will go with the best outfit in my closet---black pants and a black and white crepe tunic with flowing sleeves. I’ll be woefully under dressed but there is nothing new about that for me and it won’t spoil my fun of reliving the playtime tea parties I had with my mom and my nieces when they were wee little girls. We didn't dress up like princesses or Garden Club ladies like my Red Hat sisters did but my imagination can color in those details just the same. 

Also on the front of what's new in my life is my drafting table and magnifying light. I didn't think I'd be able to show you this photo because the stupid email on my phone quit working so I couldn't email photos to my computer. It took me forever to figure out how to sent a photo to the cloud and pull it back down. Ya, I know I should have learned how to do this years ago instead of emailing myself photos. Call me paranoid but I don't trust those clouds not to be easily hacked. The table is sitting in my living room window and it looks exactly like I envisioned my apartment would be when I picked it out. It just took me nearly
two years to get my act together. Now, I have to get my head together and wrapped it around fixing my email.  Again. I spent over two hours trying every fix on the internet including uninstalling the app and reinstalling it. Still doesn't work. The next step is to call the Jiggerbug's tech department but I have to be in the right mood for that.

Until next Wednesday.  ©

 


It's a long clip but it shows the chemistry between these to characters and how the hiring happened.