Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Friday, August 22, 2014

Eye Glasses and Pushy Women



 
After Stretch Class I stopped by an eye glass place to pick out a new pair of frames and I ending up in front of a rack where I found three strong possibilities. “Oh, you don’t want those glasses,” the clerk said as she approached. “That company makes you wait two weeks to get your glasses back.”

“That’s not a problem to me,” I replied but I was thinking, Why not let the customer decide if that’s too long to wait?

“Let me show you something over here,” she said as she led me across the room where she handed me a pair of frames with gold hinges and trim.

“These won’t work,” I said, “I don’t wear gold.”

Next she handing me a couple of rimless glasses to try on which I don’t like because they tend to fall apart too quickly for me. (Hint: Don’t fall asleep reading because in the morning you will be searching your sheets for missing lens.) She had me try on some dark plastic nerd frames, some burgundy frames and wire rims. No, no and no. Then she handing me another pair of frames with gold trim on the sides.

I repeated that I don’t wear gold adding, “I don’t even own anything gold.”

“Well, these are BRUSHED gold and they go with gold or silver,” she said. “Try them on.”

Ya, right, I thought. They don't go with my SILVERY grey hair! I handed them right back, my annoyance growing. I couldn’t decide if I was getting the little-old-lady-doesn’t-know-beans treatment or her tastes were in Chicago and mine were in Miami.

I pulled another pair off a rack---gray and clear swirled plastic with a touch of black and silver trim and she told me, "They are all wrong for your face.” I liked them. They were big and flashy and I was in the mood for a signature pair of glasses that said I-don’t-give-a-damn-what’s-in-style-I-like-the-80s-look. I picked out a couple more frames that I liked but she didn’t. She did the same. At that point I said, “I’d better come back when I’m in a different mood because this isn’t working today."

A sugary, sweet voice normally reserved for puppies, kittens and humans wearing diapers came back at me. "You do that, dear. We'll find you a nice pair glasses when you're in a different mood."

No, WE won't! I thought as I walked out door. When I got home I jumped on the internet and made a list of other places in the area that accept my vision insurance.

Two years ago when I was in that store to pick out frames I bought the one and only pair of glasses I tried on. The guy who waited on me picked them out and not a month goes by that someone doesn’t tell me how much they like my glasses. He got the shape, scale and color perfect in one try. Isn’t it funny how one sales clerk can turn your experience into something great and another can remind you of shopping with that “certain someone” who always tries to undermine your confidence. The moral of this story is to always let a gay guy wait on you at an optics store. I’m half kidding but this woman’s sales style was pushy and I was starting to feel my inner baby coming out. If you spoon those peas in my mouth one more time, I’m going to spit them far and wide!

Note to self: If I'm ever in a nursing home and someone is about to hand-feed me dinner, take your hearing aids out first so you won't hear if that nurse's aide starts using the puppies-kittens-and-humans-wearing-diapers sugary, sweet voice on me. ©

14 comments:

  1. Oh man. Slap down! I want to fly to where you are right now and go back to the store and give her a piece of our minds! (I don't wear gold either -- except the tiny, barely there gold band that was my mom's original wedding band from 1938. And I only started wearying that after she died 6 years ago.)

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    1. LOL

      The clerk was a dishwater blonde and I think gold would look lovely on her BUT don't we all know our own coloring and know what looks best? I'm a winter with blue under tones to my English heritage skin with Italian heritage hair. If you're going to sell stuff to go around people's faces you should able to tell a 'gold' person from a 'silver' person or at least take their word for it when they tell you they have a strong preference.

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  2. I do not care of the tone of voice they use on us nowadays. I do not care to be called Sweetie or Dearie or Hon! I need new frames too because the ones I have, with a bit of gold, went with my blond hair, but not my new silvery grey hair!

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    1. The Sweetie, Dear or Honey names sure can rub you sometimes, can't they.

      After awhile all the glass frames look the same. I'm dreading going out again.

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  3. I had to laugh. I was done that way by a used car salesman who , when I asked to see the sports car, replied, "You don't want that kind of a car. You have children."
    I was a woman alone with children and this POOR salesman with POOR sales couldn't envision me behind the wheel of a jazzy car! He wouldn't even show it to me!! I was a lot younger then, so I didn't argue. Today I would give him a piece of my mind. That's what old age will do for the courage of our convictions. Hey, I have been a nurse in a nursng home and I can't tell you how many scrambled eggs have been flung my way. Applesauce, too! Apparently we like to throw things. I believe in it!

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    1. I wonder if men shopping for things ever get this kind of treatment. Your car story is a perfect example of how it used to be for women with buying cars, I was once told to bring a man with me next time I came to the dealership to look at cars. It pleases to no end that the dealership I now goes to has several women working as mechanics.

      I've seen the flinging food in nursing homes but I was just visiting... occupational hazard I would think. LOL

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  4. well bless her heart. i could have out-sweetied her in a heartbeat. i actually LOVE things like that. i always win and i turn it around on them and feel wonderful at the end. come stay with me for a week and we'll make the rounds! life is fun in every nook and cranny. (well unless i am all alone at night. i can't seem to get that part right yet. i don't necessarily want a MAN in my life but i want someone to talk to.)

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoox

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    1. You made me laugh and I know exactly what you mean by out-sweetied her. If I end up back there again I shall try that. I do a version of that when I debate on politician sites. The nastier and more out of control some people get, the calmer and in control I get. I drives them crazy that they can't make me loss my temper like they've done.

      You'll get the nights right, in time Bee. You've got the right frame of mind to do that.

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  5. I wouldn't have the nerve to do this myself, but that office would be well served to know they lost a customer because of this saleswoman. It's definitely worth telling your story to other potential customers. Too bad you didn't have peas in your mouth...

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    1. Not my style either to complain to bosses or management either. Life is too short. Cut your losses and move on. I go in that place every so often to get my glasses adjusted or fixed and I've never seen her before. I'm hoping she's just a temp.and will be gone if I go back. If not, I'll have some peas in my purse. LOL

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  6. GRRRR! I would have been so mad! I like a little help with size and shape ... but ultimately it is what I want!!! Count me in for the slap down. What is wrong with people?? I'm gonna go blog ...

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    1. The poor ladies cheeks will be sore for a week if we all gathered together for that slap down. LOL I did go to another store in the same chain and the clerk there let me look until I had a pair I wanted to try on but I couldn't see how they looked without my prescription glasses. She got out a magnifier and didn't give an opinion until I asked if she thought they were too big for my face. A little bit," she said with an apology in her voice. When I left she said,. "Happy hunting" and I left with a good taste in my mouth about her.

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  7. Jean,
    LOL Gay guys know their stuff. :) I also love young, nerdy guys at Best Buy. We found one who really knew his stuff, and we kept going back to him. He was smart as a whip and knew how to talk to customers. I told H he wouldn't be there long. Last time we went, the guy who waited on us couldn't even answer the simplest, most basic questions. I know that other kid is CEO by now.

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    1. Clerks sure make a difference and the good ones often are just there until they can get something better.

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