Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

French Kissing on Widowhood Lane


The ‘For Sale’ sign came down on the house next door that’s sat empty and in foreclosure since January. I’m practically giddy over the prospect of having new neighbors. I haven’t figured out, yet, if all the young guys who descended on the place are in the business of flipping houses or if it’s the new owner and some of his friends whipping the place into shape before a moving van shows up. I hope it’s the latter. The first thing they did is cut the lawn. Halleluiah! No more dandelion seeds blowing my way. If I lived closer to one of the colleges in town I’d worry that maybe all those guys with their pickup trucks are frat boys setting up a new fraternity house. Oh, well, I learned a long time ago I’m not in charge of the world, but if they do turn out to be frat boys I’m hand-painting a sign warning them about the dangers of peeing in the cattail bog that separates our two properties. I guess you’d call that a passive aggressive welcome to the neighborhood. Could you blame me? I love the toads that hang around that bog and they shouldn’t have to endure boy-power showers. 

Saturday was the day I had earmarked to work in the garage setting up my eBay station for the summer. But it was dreary out there so I left my common sense behind and went to the second most accident-plagued street in four counties to shop in the driving rain. Thankfully I returned with my car bumpers, doors and body parts still intact plus I found a few more quilting quarters that I don’t need until next winter. Yes, this silly woman had an itch that needed scratching. I did get one thing I’ll actually need next month, a permanent fabric pen so I can sign my quilt when it comes back from the long arm machine sewing service. Poor timing on my part, I should have signed my quilt before sending it off but this will work. I’m writing my name on a fabric block, then I’ll sew the block on the back of the quilt. That way, I can spell-check the heck out of my signature before attaching it to the quilt so I won’t be stuck with a Jena instead of Jean. Jena is a common dyslexia mistake in my world.

Monday I had to go to the dentist. I didn’t have a problem but the guy likes to nit-pick and this time he wanted to remove two of my silver fillings. I hated to see them go. I’ve had them since my teen years but he thought they were worn out and in danger of cracking thus damaging the teeth in the process. He showed me photos of their surfaces to make his case. I told him I was sentimental about those fillings. He said, “Get over it.” And that’s how I ended up on his schedule. Who gets sentimental over a filling? Me. I could get sentimental over a hangnail.

It was the first day of June when I went to the dentist but it was cold enough to wear a winter coat when I got up---in the 40’s. Where is summer? I guess it’s coming later in the week but I’ve heard that story before. It will probably rain and before I know it the trees will be turning colors and frost will be on the pumpkins. Time sure flies by the older I get. I suppose I don’t help myself in that department when I do things like stock up on quilt fabrics for a winter project when June is just tippy-toeing in. I’ve struggled with living in the future my entire life and that served me well in my work-every-day world. But I’m retired now and I should be buying margarita mix and downloading Kenny Chesney songs about sitting on the beach when the sun goes down, drinks in hand, toes in sand.

In one of his songs Kenny sings about “French kissing life square on the mouth.” It’s been a long time since I’ve French kissed life---since I've had that over-the-top passion for doing something fun in the moment. I guess while I have my paints out to make a plaque about not peeing in the bog I should make another one to remind me to go forth and French kiss life full on the mouth. Forget thoughts of quilts and making mittens, for now! I need to plan some summertime fun. Nothing happens without a plan. Well, that’s not true but since when did I ever let facts get in the way of my ramble writing here on Widowhood Lane? ©

10 comments:

  1. Perhaps a trip to someplace you've never been before. Some fun thing. I think I'd like to do that kind of thing. On a beach and have seafood all week. Sounds like great fun. I'm sure you'll figure out that French kiss.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

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    1. Every summer since Don died, I've talked about renting a cottage on Lake Michigan. Perhaps this year will be the year. Stranger things have happened. LOL

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  2. OMYGOD! French kissing life square on the mouth! My new favorite saying! (I don't generally like Country, so hadn't heard that song lyric -- thanks for sharing. And let's all get at the kissing now...!)

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    1. Isn't that a great phrase! It puts such great visuals in your head. I just heard it this week myself and I knew I had to write about.

      I pulled the car over today so I could write down another phrase from a country song. I can't remember what it is but it's on my paper pad still in the car. Someday it will show up in my vocabulary.

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  3. I haven't French Kissed ANYTHING in so long, I think I've forgotten how. Rent that dang cottage, will ya??!!! I wish I could afford too--nothing better then a week or two watching the waves come in and go out to relax me and make me a limp noodle and happy--seriously, giddily happy!

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    1. I actually did try last year but it's hard to find someone who will rent to someone with a dog and putting Levi in a kennel for so long not only ads to the cost of a mini vacation, it would make me feel guilty. The best I could do would be a weekend in a bed and breakfast.

      Me, too, on the French kissing. I think I've forgotten how.

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  4. Do you know the Carly Simon song "Anticipation"? (It's the one they turned into a ketchup commercial.) Great lyrics about spending so much time anticipating the future that she misses the present. -Jean

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    1. I didn't know it but I looked it up. That's me. Not living in the moment because I'm thinking of tomorrow. LOL

      "And tomorrow we might not be together
      I'm no prophet, I don't know nature's way
      So I'll try to see into your eyes right now
      And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days."

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  5. I love Carly Simon. She's one of my faves.

    It's been cool here, too, and it rained yesterday. It doesn't feel like summer at all. It's supposed to be prettier today.

    I hope you come up with a plan. A little change is good for the spirit.

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    1. We are having a bad tick season here already I think my plan is to avoid the great outdoors and live on my deck this summer. LOL

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