Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Art Shows and Cleaning Girls


I died and went to Cleaning Girl Heaven. The one I had---the girl who gave a baby up in an open adoption and ended up regretting her decision---started taking Fridays off and she wanted me to change my cleaning day to Saturdays. I didn’t want to do that because there are too many art fairs, fall festivals and kids’ birthday parties scheduled on my upcoming Saturdays. After her boss and I tried to work out another day and time when we’d both be free at the same time, we gave up and decided it was time for me to try someone new. I felt bad because my old cleaner is such a sympathetic figure with a basket full of issues, one of which is she’s an OCD cleaning machine who, if she’d been a dog groomer, would have found a way to scrub the spots off a Dalmatian. 

The new girl came this week, a college kid in a grad program down at the art institution. My heart be still! She wants to be an art professor and already she’s got the demeanor and look of a professor. A tall, willow-thin blonde with a wide smile that makes you want to smile back. We talked painting styles, artists and mediums as she worked, and she’s the first cleaning person I’ve had in the five years since I’ve been using the service who actually appreciates my favorite room in the house---the library. She had a reverence for my art, philosophy and women’s history books. I don’t have my cleaners clean in my art room but I showed it to her and she gave me some technical advice with a painting that I’ve been struggling to finish. She said I’m only six brush strokes away from accomplishing what I need to do. That sure made my day because I’ve been weighing the idea of doing the entire face over. Her cleaning job was not as thorough as my other girl's and I probably won’t have her for long because after graduation she’ll be moving on, but in the meantime I’ll have something to look forward to besides having a clean house on the first Friday of every month. By the way, I always buy my house fresh flowers to celebrate the occasion. A clean house and fresh flowers go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Saturday I went to an annual Art in the Park show with one goal in mind: Don’t buy anything. Not even a greeting card which I have a ‘thing’ for doing when I like an artist. You can always find room for another greeting card, right? I rarely send those cards to anyone. I hoard them and enjoy them whenever I’m looking for something to use for the purpose cards were invented. So many charities send me packets of greeting cards that my stash seems to grow like mushrooms in the dark. I have a chest of six drawers (one foot square drawers) where I keep gift wrapping supplies and greeting cards and recently I downsized the cards in that chest to pass on to one of my Gathering Girls pals. She’ll pass them on to another friend of hers who does prison ministry work and that woman hands out packets of pre-stamped greeting cards to the prisoners for them to use. The woman has been visiting prisons for decades and wouldn’t you like to know the back story on how she got started doing that. I wish I was self-less enough to send those prisoners cards from my ‘good’ stash---they might enjoy hanging some beautiful mini-art pieces in their cells---but I’m not there yet. If reincarnation is real, in my next go-around I want to think more like Mother Theresa and less like---well, like me. 

The weather for the art show was perfect. The temperature was in the high 60s and a breeze was coming off the near-by river where ducks and white swans were looking for their lunch and Canadian geese were resting on their way up north. The signs of fall approaching were all around me and the bright sun was doing a great job of showing off the pieces of artists working in stained glass.

I’ve gone completely nuts about wind chimes this summer---Ya, I’m one of those annoying neighbors, some would say, who loves the pinging tones and tinkling sounds of glass, metal and sea shells striking one another in the wind. In my defense my neighbors aren’t close enough to hear them. At the art show, I fell in love with a four foot long copper and stained glass wind chime that was probably too heavy to make a peep unless a hurricane is one the way. I admired the heck out of it, complimented the artist, lied and told her my (non-existent) condo doesn’t allow wind chimes "otherwise I’d adopt that beautiful piece." And then I walked away. Aren’t you proud of me? I am. Well, except for the lying part. Mother Theresa, I doubt, ever lied just to make an excuse for not buying something so beautiful that it takes your breath away. I just wish the artist had sold greeting card depictions of her work. After all, I recently created extra space in my card drawers and it would have been easy to hide the evidence of breaking my goal about not buying anything that day. ©

36 comments:

  1. I too love wind chimes. I have one based on the notes of "Ode to Joy", although I haven't recognized those notes. I think my favorite was one a man made and sold, just heavy plastic on top and plain plumbing pipes at different lengths. A wooden "bonger". It had the best sound ever.
    How nice it is for you to have a regular "visitor" without much baggage and an art student to boot! You may learn more about painting from her and well worth the price to get your house cleaned too.

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    1. I paid $35 an hour for a couple painting classes the summer pf 2017 and she said I needed to start the face over again. She turned out to be a mediocre teacher and several of us dropped out because of that so I didn't trust her advice.

      I've learned a lot about what not to buy in wind chimes. The more they cost, the sooner they fall apart, in my experience. I have dollar store chimes last years and home decor chimes not even last a season. I'd love to hear that giant chime built at the 9/11 memorial where the passengers rushed the terrorists. Plumbing pipes do have a cool sound.

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  2. I love wind chimes. I remember one unseasonably warm winter evening years ago when I opened a window an inch or two and listened to my neighbors wind chimes on her back porch. It was like a little gift of summer in the middle of winter.

    I like your idea of celebrating your clean house with flowers. Congrats on getting an art student/house cleaner. What a perfect match. You will both appreciate each other.

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    1. I grew up with wind chimes at the cottage so they are like comfort food for my soul.

      I don't really need an excuse to buy fresh flowers but I've been buying them on or shortly after cleaning day for decades. I found out recently that my niece does the same and we decided she picked up the habit when she worked for me in high school, then later when she got her own house she'd forgotten where the idea came from.

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  3. I've framed a couple of artistic greeting cards that I've received.

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    1. I have too. If I lived in a Tiny House, that would be the kind of art I'd have.

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    2. Hi Jean. I guess you and I are wind chimes lover because I have at least five of them. One of the is 35 inches long and give me a beautiful chime. My neighbors can hear the chimes because it's placed right on the front door area. Most of them are metal of type but one of then are made of wood.
      Amherstburg just completed " Art in the Park ". We have it every year. Usually it rains every year but this year Sunday was bright and sunny. Our Art in the Park is placed near the Detroit River and placed on Fort Malden where the Canadian soldiers & Indians were fighting the Americans in the War of 1812. That was the very last time where both countries fought each other but now Trump doesn't like Canadians anymore. I still like Americans. See ya my American friend. See ya.

      Cruisin Paul
      Canadian

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    3. I got you beat. I have eight wind chimes hanging and several that have to be restrung. My favorite are made of shells.

      Trump is the only person I've ever heard in my entire life who badmouths Canada. I don't think he can undo our long history of getting along. Once he'S out of office, I'm sure things will return to normal between our two countries. I love your Justin. I have him in my Facebook feed.

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  4. Ah, you make me smile. You have all these talents Jean. I have none. Do you know how lucky you are? I buy these artsy greeting cards online a great deal. Some just beautiful, some just funny and pretty and some darn right sick and twisted. Have you thought of doing this with your art? Selling them I mean? I hope to find a talent before I leave this earth. I've tried it all so I guess this is it for me. :-)

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    1. I'm not talented, I'm just persistent. I don't give up easily when I'm trying to learn how to do something. Writing and painting have something in common---you can never learn everything there is to know about each of these crafts.

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  5. Now you have me wishing to once again have a regular cleaning lady. I use to do the fresh flowers also. Now days my house is so tiny I would be embarrassed to have someone do what I can do quickly. Still---

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    1. My problem is if I left it up to me to get inspired to clean I'd only do it if someone is planning to come over and, of course, that prevented me from doing spur of the moment invitations. There are other ways to spend my limited time on earth than cleaning.

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  6. A friend of mine goes nuts cleaning her house the night before her cleaning lady comes. I cannot get her to understand that this means she does not need a cleaning lady.

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    1. The only things I do is pick up stuff that didn't make into the closet, library or where ever and I pick up things that might tempt low income people to steal---passwords, purses, jewelry. My sister-in-law didn't put her purse away, for example, and had cash disappear. I clear the countertops and empty the dishwasher kind of thing to save time so I don't have to a cleaning service to do it at $27.00 an hour. But clean---no, I don't consider what I do cleaning. Having a cleaning lady for myself and maybe your friend isn't about NEED, but rather a luxury I'm willing to pay for.

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  7. I used to have windchimes outside the bedroom window at the cottage but they kept waking Rick up! Did you see the video of the new Flight 93 memorial? 40 chimes, one for each voice.

    Our Greg went to Kendall. I wish he'd learned cleaning while he was there.

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    1. I've seen the memorial---such a cool idea---but have not heard it. I need see if google can turn up a video of it.

      Funny about Greg. Many of the cleaners my company hires come from the colleges downtown. They like it because they can work half days here and there around their classes.

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    2. I just found a like with a soundtrack. All I can say is Wow! Very impressive but I don't know if I'd want to be living near by. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/911-tower-of-voices-wind-chimes-flight-93-memorial-shanksville-pennsylvania/

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  8. Oh lady, I understand your vow to not buy anything. I did that at the Greek festival last weekend, and I did not buy anything though I saw lots of pretty jewelry including some amber necklaces. Aren't we good? I often buy flower bouquets, they brighten up the room and my mood.

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    1. Fairs and festivals have so many tempting things. We really are good that we can put so much temptation in our paths and resist it. LOL

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  9. I, too, would pick things up and hide medicine and valuables for cleaning day. I want them to clean, not pick up then clean under then put item back down. CLEAN and fast so it all gets done. I have been so fortunate! Both Maui and Portland had cleaners who did something extra EVERY time! I spoiled myself with every other week .... and planned my entertaining around it.

    I wish I had a creative artistic side. Currently I have no hobbies! Well, two little boys I guess!! My Mom was artistic AND crafty. I love those homemade items. Hard to find these days. Some of the Senior Centers have a little shop but our local one shut theirs down.

    You do get out and about more than me!!!

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    1. I think medicine is often pillaged from people's houses. They can take a few thinking you won't miss it.

      Your life is so busy caring for the boys you don't have time for hobbies. Are you a cookie baking grandma? Baking is a hobby.

      Our senior hall has a room where half the space is selling mostly second hand items and a few handcrafts. We used to do a Christmas sell and invite the community in for handmade items. But few and few things were getting sold and last year they stopped it. Sad for me because I used to knit toddler sweaters for it.

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  10. I have two women who come over every Saturday to play music with me and that really helps me to keep the house relatively clean. I like that you had someone who was interested in your art and was able to look at your painting and give you advice. That is worth her fee right there!!

    Art shows in the park are usually very pleasant. I am looking forward to the one we will have in our litttle village next weekend. If they are good, it is because there are a lot of original artists: people who are doing something creative that other people are not doing. I used to simply admire the work but I tend to try and engage the artist in conversation now. Having been on the receiving end with my quilt group, I know how pleasant it is to engage with an appreciative audience.
    Regards,
    Leze

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    1. If not for having a cleaning service I would probably let it go too long. When I'm on a mission to so something creative or with rounding up eBay stuff I can get really messy.

      It costs nothing to say something positive about person's art. I try to find something which usually isn't hard. It's the ones that are hard to walk away from that get me. I want it all!

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  11. Hi Jean,

    I used to have a cleaning service come in every second week, when the kids were teens and I was so tired (anemic and didn't know it). It was lovely to come home to a fresh, clean house. Maybe someday again...once a month would do me now.
    I hope you post pictures of your art on the blog. I would love to see them. I love wind chimes too.

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    1. Teens are the worst for destroying a house. I don't blame working moms for having a cleaning service.

      There are several commenters who are artists like you. I really should consider showing my unfinished work for an online critic. You are far more gutsy than I am in that department.

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  12. Jean :

    more I know you, I feel like in some areas I am like you, which is matter of pride for me, & good thing. I am no artistic person but I love windchimes. After we moved to this new home, slowly & steadily I am putting things I love, first thing I bought was windchime & every time we are coming home after walk & it chimes, it makes me feel so much at home & at peace & happy even with my disability. I feel so lucky to be alive & feel like man, I must have done something in my past to deserve all this fortune in my life, I love your fresh flowers idea & will start doing on 19th of each month. will let you know if I followed through on that promise to myself

    Asha

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    1. You are so free with your compliments, it can't help but brighten my day.

      Wind chimes truly are like comfort food for me because of early childhood memories of being at the cottage and hearing a wind chime from our neighbors. They were the closest to grandparents I ever had in my life.

      I've been telling you for years to buy yourself flowers, I hope buying them to celebrate a clean house finally gives you the excuse you need. I can make my flowers last over 10 days. The stems get shorter and the bouquets and vases get smaller over those 10 days but that ritual is one I enjoy. It's a reminder of our own cycle of life.

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  13. Congrats on your restraint not buying anything at the Art in the Park show -- that took real self-control. I know someone who worked with Mother Theresa and some things I've read suggest you might not receive her disapproval. Wind chimes do emit lovely sounds. Coincidentally, I just viewed an old movie with a seductive element featuring scenes with many wind chimes. Perhaps you've seen "Body Heat" with William Hurt and Kathleen Turner.

    I need to get on with my right sizing so I can have a house presentable enough to hire a cleaning service -- once a month sounds about right for me. I've gotten behind on a few things and it hasn't gotten better -- probably should have started sooner. When we get older we can be subject to having our house keeping conditions deemed inadequate and others injecting themselves into our lives, in our best interests of course. Have never known anyone that happened to but have read some strange stories.

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    1. No, I haven't seen that movie but it sounds interesting.

      Mother Theresa has always fascinated me. She's always been my gold standard when I think about selflessness. I can't believe I ran into someone who actually knew her.

      What you said in your second paragraph is so true! You never know when you'll need to call an ambulance or service person to repair a pipe or broken toilet and many of those people are often quick to report seniors.

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  14. Dear Jean, I so enjoyed your posting which--while telling us about the two cleaning women and the art fair, also told us a lot about you and your likes and your ideals. Thank you for sharing. Peace.

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    1. You hit on why I love the blogging world. When we read about the daily lives and thoughts of ordinary people we learn so much about what we have in common. Thanks for stopping by.

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  15. My comments were just more compliments - nothing earth shattering. Got through on #5 (Captcha working spasmodically, and when it doesn't work, no comments go through apparently). ~ Libby

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    1. You're persistent. That counts a lot! Thanks, Libby, for trying.

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  16. I'm finally getting a chance to catch up your blog. Sisterly artistic sharing seems way more important than having an OCD-clean house.
    I have drawers full of beautiful note cards that I bought mostly for the images on them, but since I haven't written many notes since the invention of email, it's not clear why I'm keeping them all.
    I have a weakness for music, too, and my wind chimes are the ones that are musically tuned to some scale and play little wind-driven tunes in the breeze.

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    1. I put a note card on the refrigerator from time to time. It's kind of a shame that e-mail and Facebook is killing the greeting card industry. I keep them because I can. :)

      I do not have a wind chime that is musically tuned to a scale. I've got to look for one like that!

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