Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Hearing Tests, the Senate, Doormen and a Sexy Guy – Oh, my!


Thursday I was off to the hearing center for my annual appointment with the audiologist. It’s been five years since my last, full audio test in the sound proof room and she wanted to do another. Okay, fine by me. My hearing hadn’t gone down a lot in that time which was good news so she cleaned out my aids, put new and bigger tips on the tubes so they’ll quit popping out when I turn my head a certain way and she programmed them up a notch. She also sold me a year’s worth of batteries for twenty bucks---roughly twenty-five cents each. (How can they do that?) Once in a while she’ll send me to another room so the doctor can clean the wax out of my ears, but that didn’t happen Thursday. But I do wish I could have taken the dog with me and have his ears cleaned. Levi’s ears have been bothering him and the eucalyptus based product I bought at the pet store leaves him smelling like a vaporizer is running around in the room. It works, though. A couple of treatments and the wax build-up was gone and now I have an eight ounce, eight dollar bottle to use up before it expires on Election Day, 2020. Should I try it on myself?

Speaking of elections, be forewarned this paragraph will be a political rant so skip it if you only want fluffy reading. Okay, here I go: This past year Trump with Mitch McConnell’s help in the Senate gave millionaires and billionaires massive tax breaks which has driven the deficit up 18%, setting new records. It’s projected with our 2019 budget we’ll be spending $4,407 trillion and only taking in $3,422. So what did Mitch have to say about that this morning? He says it’s time to make cuts in Medicare, Social Security and Medicaid. There is something grossly obscene about a senator worth 22.5 million dollars voting himself a giant tax cut then wanting to balance the federal budget on the backs of elderly women who have to go to food banks to make ends, the mentally ill who live on the streets and all of us slightly better off retirees who worry about our money lasting until we die. What Mitch fails to acknowledge is that Social Security is basically self-funded and the growing costs in Medicare and Medicaid is mostly due to the Baby Boomers coming into the programs. The sheer number of Boomers has always driven the marketplace. If the Senate doesn’t turn blue, and Mitch remains in control, he’s declared the changes he'll be pushing through. Believe him! The primaries are coming. VOTE!

Resuming my milk toast post: After leaving the building where the audiologist is located I got to wondering once again why they have a doorman for a building with only twelve office suites in the whole place. In my entire life it’s the only building in town I’ve ever been to with a doorman. The building is in an upscale neighborhood with no foot traffic, no panhandlers to wander in…maybe a little wildlife would if they had motion sensing doors, but the only automated part requires a person to push a button if you’re using a wheelchair and the doorman is off peeing in the bushes or what else a doorman would be doing if not on duty. 

Back to my end of town I had to go to Pac Mail to buy a box for an awkward thing I want to sell on e-Bay and when I got to the door I saw a 40-ish woman about twenty-five feet away carrying a large box to ship. So I waited for her and held the door open. She thanked me and walked right up the counter to be first in line. If the tables were reversed I would have told the person who held the door for me to go ahead. If not for me playing doorman for her I would have been to the counter and told the clerk what I wanted while she was still struggling to get into the place. It irritated me that I got irritated on a beautiful, sunny day over a breach of what I consider to be proper etiquette. I should have body-slammed her out of the way and said, "Age before beauty."

Next on my list of stops was lunch at the Guy Land Cafeteria with some people watching for dessert and I hit the jackpot. I got to listen to a young, sexy guy with a Sam Elliot voice banner with a Jennifer Lopez look alike sitting in another booth. Before he was done he learned where she worked---she had two jobs---and what shifts she worked, the neighborhood she lived in, that she and her last boyfriend parted on friendly terms. One question and answer after another. When he got up to leave he walked over to the girl, grabbed her hand and shook it. What kind of guy does that? A guy who then says, “I’ll be seeing you again.” That low, sexy voice would have left me in a puddle panting. She seemed to vaccinated again its power but she didn’t act like he was saying that in a stalker kind of way either. Still, I couldn’t help wondering if she realized how much personal information she’d just given to a total stranger. I’ve gotta quit watching You, the psychological thriller series on Lifetime. He could have been Joe stalking Beck. So I memorized their faces just in case her “Missing!” posters start popping up on power line poles... ©  

29 comments:

  1. OMG that last paragraph was a hoot. I have heard about YOU with John Stamos but have never watched it. I hope you don't need to use your photographic memory on this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'You' is on the 6th episode and I've watched each one twice. It's creepy, funny, scary, romantic and cleaver all rolled into one with the greatest cliffhangers. Stephen King did some promos for it which is what caught my attention. If you try it, start with the 1st episode On Demand. John will be doing a guess spot but he hasn't appeared yet unless I didn't recognize him. He looks a lot like the leading character, Penn Badgley.

      https://www.mylifetime.com/shows/you/about

      Delete
  2. It's amazing how these rich, rich people become in politics only to make more money for themselves and their millionaire friends and they end up putting poor people even poorer. I pray to God hoping for some change.
    This week we go to the election. As I said in my blog I have to vote for mayor and our mayor today is a relative of mine. I thought he was a good guy but he allowed the CAO of Amherstburg to really control everything so this time I'm voting for the other guy. It just never seems that whomever we vote for, they will let me done.
    Well have a great time my friend. See ya Jean.

    Cruisin Paul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck with your elections up there! The whole world seems to be dissatisfied with their governments at the moment.

      I didn't realize you were blogging again. I'll have to try to see if I can get in without being redirected by that advertising widget.

      Delete
  3. A very productive day! With our Schnauzer, after having wax removed, vet recommended vinegar on a cotton ball and swab once or twice a week. No more ear trouble after that!

    Love it when we "have" to eat a meal out! And people watch. She did give out too much personal information. Did she reciprocate by asking him? UGH! So glad I'm not dating as I watch too many of those shows as well.

    Rude of the lady for NOT suggesting you go first. I always do! And say "no worry, I'm not in any hurry ... for a change."

    We've got a tough race for Governor here in Oregon. IF money really helps, the Republican just got a $1M contribution this week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the vinegar tip. It would sure smell better than the product I bought.

      That was the crazy part. This girl did not ask any questions about him. He sure had a smooth way of getting information out of her in a chatty kind of way. I would not want to be dating again either.

      I thought the lady was rude and entitled. Many times I've had people hold doors for me and I usually step aside so they can get to the counter first. Sometimes they'll try to let me go first even then and I'll do like you and say, I'm not in a hurry.

      A million dollar donation in a governor's race! Way too much money in elections these day with no end in sight.

      By the way, when you took a break from blogging did you forget you had your settings set to moderate comments? I've left one on every post and you're not putting any of them through. You can turn them off so no one can comment at all if you're just blogging for a diary-like record of your days.

      Delete
    2. After he’d already received $1.5M from same donor. Current Gov is an odd duck. But we shall see

      Delete
  4. We all knew what would be coming after Yertle the Turtle McConnell and his merry gang of grifters passed tax cuts for the rich after bemoaning deficit spending during the Obama administration. All of a sudden, they noticed the national debt had increased by a trillion dollars and it had to be from those pesky elders and their "entitlements," AKA: Medicare and Social Security. Now they're all scrambling to say that they want to keep protection for people with pre-existing conditions when they all are on record for just the opposite. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, in other words. I live in Texas where Beto O'Rourke is giving Slimy Ted Cruz a run for his money. It's probably hopeless, but at least Cruz won't be "cruising" to an easy win this time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh, Beto O'Rourke is making the national news often and seems like the real deal. It would be wonderful to unseat Mr. Cruz. How he could kiss up to Trump now after all the insults he made towards his wife and father is beyond me! That's just not normal politics!

      Delete
  5. Sam Elliot voice! Come on! Who has a sexier voice than Sam? I would have fallen, too. It is dangerous to give so much information to a stranger, though. You never know.

    The body slam reference made me laugh out loud.

    Congrats on the hearing not changing much. We have to hang on to everything we can.

    I knew this was coming after the tax cuts, but it's still a bitter pill to swallow. I hope this election goes the right way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I saw Sam in an interview recently and he said when he was first trying to get into the business, an agent told him he'd have to change his voice. Can you believe that?

      That body slam sentence was a last minute addition. I'm glad it made at least one person laugh. I'm never sure if others get my humor and know I wouldn't actually do something like that.

      Delete
    2. Humor is the hardest thing to write. Some of us will laugh while others will be offended. I've written jokes that readers have scolded me for, thinking I was serious.

      Delete
  6. You had me at Sam Elliot voice which is like a soft caress that can make you want to undress. BUT that guy seemed to want too much info and glad you are ready for an ID if needed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He even got the year and make of the car she drove and she seemed to be oblivious of all the information she was giving out. Of course, we're assuming she was giving out the CORRECT information. Maybe she was smarter than she was acting.

      Delete
  7. Perhaps it was their first or second date? On our first date, instead of meeting at a restaurant, I had Fred come to my house to pick me up. Someone said, "What if he was an axe murderer." Well, we had chatted via e-mail and a phone call, so I wasn't too scared of him. Although I must admit, I'm not real smart about the ways of dating nowadays.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely sure it was a chance encounter. I saw the whole thing from start to finish. He was in the bathroom when she came in and picked a booth near his, sight-unseen and she was waiting until someone who worked there to get off their shift. He found that out by asking, "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

      Delete
  8. I need a hearing test. Have never had one. I told my doc at last visit I wanted one and he just shrugged and said, "Maybe it's earwax." He looked and said it was minimal and not worth bothering with. I was annoyed he didn't take me seriously, so I'm looking for another doctor.

    I would be so afraid to reveal ANYTHING to a stranger these days. But I'm paranoid that way. Good for you to get a good look at them! Eye Witness! And I didn't know John Stamos had a show now. He's a cutie....I remember when he was a teenager on General Hospital! LOL

    I agree with every word of you rant, of course, and then some!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John is just going to be a guest, not have a reoccurring part. At least that's the scope at this point in time.

      I'm surprised your doctor blew you off about a hearing test. People usually know when they start file-sharing things.

      Delete
  9. Liked the whole post Jean! I liked the "body slam" part too....made me laugh out loud. Right on with the politics too....we sure need to get out and vote.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next I'll actually do a body slam. It will give me more to write about. LOL

      Delete
  10. I'm becoming so used to casual rudeness these days. I honestly believe that most people have no true knowledge of manners.

    More federal judges were confirmed by McConnell's gavel--6 or 8, I think. That's his endgame. Our courts are now completely conservative, and women's lives and the lives of minorities and LGBTQ people are in danger of being severely undermined.

    I've already voted and am working hard at getting out the vote.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mitch has been playing a long game for quite some time now, trying to turn the lower courts and now the higher courts conservative. I'll bet he pats himself on the back daily.

      I really don't run into a lot of rude people where I live but when I do they stand out...like this woman. In 12 1/2 years of pushing a wheelchair around I only had one person go out of their way NOT to hold up a door for us. Many would run to help in any way they could.

      But in general and in the media I sure miss political correctness in language and attitude. I think it undermines society to accept the crudeness and rudeness, especially in our elected officials.

      Delete
  11. I wonder what the ear wax softener for dogs is? Dosage amt, strength would surely be pertinent. Debrox is the most common human treatment with which I’m aware some doctors have prescribed. Saw a bottle of it on pharmacy shelf recently, so guess it’s OTC now — maybe weaker strength than Dr. prescription.

    Perhaps you should have quickly but sweetly said, “Excuse me, but I believe I was first in line .... and just held the door for you!” Did she think you were leaving? Some people are just thoughtless, others deliberately inconsiderate since they believe they’re more important than others. I have nicely, without animosity, said, “Excuse me, I think I am next” a couple times.

    I don’t consider what you wrote about our government’s financial situation a rant at all. A rant to me, which turns me off and I will rarely read, carries emotionally loaded adjectives, among other offensive and objectionable language, often goes off on far-fetched tangents, often degenerates into labeling and name-calling. You simply stated mostly known facts, though you didn’t provide official supportive links, within the context of your civilly-stated opinion. Opinions, points of view are not necessarily rants in my book. Granted, there is an opposing point of view — a rant about that (IMHO) would also use raging language. You’ve made an important significant argument, as in debate, for defending, protecting Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, I think.

    Attacking these programs has been to be expected — has been the plan all along. Reducing income taxes was what those responsible counted on the hoi polli (that’s us) to be too dumb to recognize was being done, much less understand the card game sleight-of-hand they were pulling. Voters surely better get wise!

    Sounds like the gal being queried didn’t ask any questions of her own. That’s not too wise — giving him all the power and not learning anything about him. Then there’s the issue of mendacity even with shared information. It can be a scary world out there.




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, the woman at Mail Pack knew I came in after her. She was just being one of those people who was self-absorbed and and thoughtless.

      The girl at the cafeteria didn't ask any questions which, to me, indicated she wasn't really interested. He was smooth and chatty and didn't let that stand in the way of him getting a ton of information from her.

      I think your definition of a rant is right. I need a new word for when I'm about to get political. I go to a site where political debates are the norm and I try to keep my posts civil and fact based but everyone gets accused of of ranting.

      Delete
    2. P.S. The ear wax remover for dogs has sulphosuccinate, undercylenic, monoalkylomide and eucalyptus.

      Delete
  12. It doesn't surprise me that politicians are in it to make themselves richer. What surprises me is that their base falls for this shit, EVERY DAMN TIME. Our current premier of Ontario is cut from the same cloth. Making his buddies richer on the backs of the rest of us. And wanting to rape our part of the planet at the same time. Bend over Ontario, here comes Doug Ford...sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I don't know if it's always been that way and the media is better at digging up the crap politicians or if they are truly a reflection of the people who vote them up, but I wish we could get back to at least an illusion of honest people in office who are their for the right reasons. Sorry to hear Canada is having some of the same issues we are.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I started laughing in the first paragraph, when you brought up the image of a vaporizer running around the room. Do you remember Vicks VapoRub and those steamers that used to be all the thing for kids with colds or congestion? That scent never may leave me.

    I thought your comment about the breach of manners was interesting. I don't think you're wrong. It just made me realize that I've always assumed opening the door for someone was an invitation for them to go before me--even at the post office. Just a difference in perspective, for sure.

    The amount of information people hand out today really is remarkable. While I get annoyed at the online tracking companies do, at least they can't show up at my front door. At least, I don't think they can.

    That doorman tickled me, too. I've decided he's actually security, and that there's a tenant in that building who isn't quite who he appears. Maybe there's a troll farm up there, or someone who's in witness protection. Hmmmm...

    I voted yesterday, and was thrilled to see the turnout. I haven't seen figures for our county yet, but in Houston more than 63,000 people voted, smashing the 2010 record by more than 35,000 votes.
    It's going to be very interesting to see what the final vote count is, let alone the results. Clearly, people are paying attention.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vicki VaporRub smells a lot like the ear wax remover.

      I like your theory of the doorman/security guard. I'll have to take a closer look at the list of offices in that building next time I go.

      I heard about the Houston turn out on the news, that's impressive.

      I get annoyed by the online tracking companies, too! I was stalked back before computers and if I was young again, I'd be really paranoid about how easy it is to find people.

      Delete