I have my dining room table back! Since the end of August it’s been e-Bay Central and since I don’t like listing in the winter when the roads are iffy and unpredictable, the last of my auctions for 2018 ended this week. No more running to the post office. Ya, I know I could arrange for pickups but I’m a control freak when it comes to e-Bay. I have a 100% feedback rating and I want to see with my own eyes that packages I put in the system get scanned---proof that can keep an e-Bayer out of the weeds. In just under three months I sold nearly $3,000 worth of mostly lighters and tobacco related advertising pieces. My husband had weird collections and of all the things I’ve sold since he died, this batch was the hardest and least fun to list. Why? Because tobacciana collecting has dropped off significantly here in America but it’s really hot in the Orient so I was getting a lot of messages written in broken English that had me scratching my head. I will start do some more e-Baying next summer---I have a box of transportation advertising under my bed that needs to go next---but for now, I’m free to tackle other projects.
One of those projects I’m tackling this winter is to go
through decades’ worth of old diaries that I think I’m finally ready to dispose
of but I’m thinking about picking out a few passages here and there to put all
in one book along with some old photos. One or two pages with an iconic passage from
each year of diary keeping. I could start from a point in the 1950s when I saw Chuck
Berry, Buddy Holly and Jerry Lee Lewis at a live concert. I’m pretty sure I can
make a book like that work (just for myself, not for mass marketing) and it
sounds scary fun to try. Scary because once I commit to a project like that there’s
no turning back, no restoring pages and diaries that I’ve read and shredded.
I’ve often wondered if the fact that I’ve never been a
mother plays into my obsession about wanting to create something that will last
longer than I will. It must be nice to look at a child that came from your womb,
that you’ve mentored and influenced and think, “I made that, that’s my legacy
to the world.” A fellow blogger who has cancer and is near the end of her life gave
a baby up for adoption 50+ years ago and through a popular DNA test she was
recently re-connected to that child. Reading her story and her bio-son's loving post about his adoptive mom---he’s a
blogger too---was amazing. I don’t have a secret child out there but it was not uncommon in my generation for unwed mothers to go away to have and give up their babies in secret. And secrets like that revealed later in life come with unpredictable results.
I remember a day when I teased my husband that someday he’d answer the door and there on the steps would be a stranger with a suitcase who’d say, “Hi Dad!” It never happened but that day he and a neighbor went around and around about whether or not he’d feel instant, fatherly bonds with a child he never knew about. She said he would, he disagreed. She was a parent. Don never was. Recently, I was reminded of our ‘hi dad’ conversation when a random guy was being interviewed on TV and was asked if he had any children. He replied, “God, I hope not!” Cracked me right up. A woman might answer a door someday to hear “Hi Mom” from a stranger but at least she’d know with 100% certainty that the ‘hi mom’ scenario was in the realm of possibilities. Guys who might have sown a few wild oats in their youth could never be sure that it couldn’t happen to them.
I remember a day when I teased my husband that someday he’d answer the door and there on the steps would be a stranger with a suitcase who’d say, “Hi Dad!” It never happened but that day he and a neighbor went around and around about whether or not he’d feel instant, fatherly bonds with a child he never knew about. She said he would, he disagreed. She was a parent. Don never was. Recently, I was reminded of our ‘hi dad’ conversation when a random guy was being interviewed on TV and was asked if he had any children. He replied, “God, I hope not!” Cracked me right up. A woman might answer a door someday to hear “Hi Mom” from a stranger but at least she’d know with 100% certainty that the ‘hi mom’ scenario was in the realm of possibilities. Guys who might have sown a few wild oats in their youth could never be sure that it couldn’t happen to them.
Change of topic to my fur baby: Levi my mighty schnauzer had to go back to
the vet’s office this week to get a follow up test on his Lyme disease. It’s
been six months since his diagnosis and treatment, and I haven’t noticed any
difference in him. He’s still doing the chicken-on-a-hot-plate dance that’s an
early symptom of the disease, but he's as spunky as ever. I won’t know the test
results until Monday but before leaving the place we’d run up a $350 bill that
included the blood work, a winter’s worth of flea, tick and heartworm
prevention meds, two ear cleansings, two weeks’ worth of antibiotics for
something on his lip and a tissue analysis of the
junk that came out of his lip. We have to get the infection cleared up first
before the vet can see if there’s an underlying issue causing the lump that apparently bothers Levi because he's always digging at it.
And while writing this I learned that Alexa won’t spell ‘pussy’ as in pussy infection. She just told me, “I’d rather not answer that.” Okay, turning ‘pus’ into an adjective probably isn’t a real word which is why I wanted confirmation on how to spell it in the first place, But come on, she didn’t have to cop an attitude about it! I tried to ask a couple of times, enunciating clearer each time, but the bitch wouldn’t spell what she wrongly thought I was asking. And how does Alexa know I wasn’t writing an article for Cat Fancy Magazine and really wanted to spell 'pussy' as in pussy cat? Instead, she probably put me on a list of people who sexually harass virtual voice assistants! ©
And while writing this I learned that Alexa won’t spell ‘pussy’ as in pussy infection. She just told me, “I’d rather not answer that.” Okay, turning ‘pus’ into an adjective probably isn’t a real word which is why I wanted confirmation on how to spell it in the first place, But come on, she didn’t have to cop an attitude about it! I tried to ask a couple of times, enunciating clearer each time, but the bitch wouldn’t spell what she wrongly thought I was asking. And how does Alexa know I wasn’t writing an article for Cat Fancy Magazine and really wanted to spell 'pussy' as in pussy cat? Instead, she probably put me on a list of people who sexually harass virtual voice assistants! ©
Oh, brother. Couldn't you just say, "Infection with pus", instead? Goodness.
ReplyDeleteNot as humorous for blog fodder; I get it.
Congrats on your Ebay sales and profit. I can only imagine your relief upon clearing off that table and checking that job off your list.
I could have but it really ticked me off that Alexa wouldn't spell a word that my Franklin Word Master, Word, online dictionaries and Google define did. If it wasn't that we're in the Trump era I doubt Alexa would have filtered that word.
DeleteI also don't like word filters and that's what Alexa was doing. I used to work on a message board with a boss who would play with the word filters in the middle of the night, changing common words into phrases he thought were funny. But I was the one who got the complains from members and had to undo my bosses "work." I understand the need for word filters on certain website where tempters get hot but the list of recommended banned words is ridiculously long. A word that can be used in several ways should not be on the list, in my opinion. It's making a judgement that everyone will use the word in a nasty way. As I was writing this blog it brought back a lot of wasted time a word filter caused me at a time in my life when I didn't have time to waste. So to answer your question, no, I couldn't just write 'infection with pus.' I needed to vent and I did.
Alexa....so funny!
ReplyDeleteI do like her but sometimes she frustrates me when she misunderstands what I am asking which are usually spelling related.
DeleteOh my goodness so many things here made me smile.
ReplyDeleteAlexa is not in my home so I get a chuckle when I hear these stories.
Rick and I have discussed this father thing as well. He too, could be I suppose. Being adopted and meeting his birth mom and his birth fathers other children, just not him he asked them how they felt. He is so interested in how it feels to them. I see it from afar and just sit in awe how quickly there was a bond. Never mind the big resemblance. I am not adopted but some days I wish I were it would be easier to understand. I would give anything to give away a few siblings. :-)
I sure hope Levi has rid himself for the most part of Lyme. I have two in my home who have gone through this, a big furry human and a fur baby. It is not fun nor cheap. I hope he is doing well for a long time.
I have personal knowledge of adoption re-connection story that have turned good and one that turned out bad. Either way, I have to believe just getting closure/answers is in the long run a good thing. You make a good point when you bring up resemblance. That alone would add to the bonding.
DeleteAs kids both my brother and I had gone through periods of saying we were adopted. My brother had a double exposure photo of himself and he'd use it as "proof" that he had a twin that was giving away. LOL My mom didn't think it was as funny as he did.
I'm very hopeful that the Lyme thing has resolved itself. His lip has me more concerned. The vet didn't see any cancers cells so at this point she's not talking about removing it. Hope to wait until his next teeth cleaning when he's out if there is something that needs removing under the pus.
Those DNA tests do turn up surprise relatives. My step sister found out she had a half brother in Texas. Guess her Dad got around.
ReplyDeleteWho knew Alexa was a prude? I haven't had her back off like that. How funny.
The closest relative my DNA test turned up were cousins 6-7th removed. I'm going to do the 23&me test if they run a sale over Christmas, for the medical part but it should also be interesting it they come up with the same genealogy.
ReplyDeleteI make the mistake of asking Alexa questions when I'm sitting too close to the TV---she's on my Kindle---and sometimes she response to thing on TV instead of what I'm asking. She really can be both funny and frustrating.
I think I am the only person in the world who has not bought or sold ANYTHING on eBay. And only once or twice on Craigslist.
ReplyDeletePoor Levi (and Mom). We had such good luck (health) with our schnauzer ... once we got the stinky ear thing under control. Bosko (13 yr old pitbull boxer mix) has been on a raw food diet for the past 5-6 years. No more flea repellent or dr visits since.
I have a blog coming up on our Alex! So funny.
Wasn't that something about fellow blogger having given up a child for adoption. And reconnecting on her way out. Mysteries of the universe!
I've only done Craigslist once to sell my husband's electric wheelchair and that was enough for me. I'll be glad when I get to a point where I don't feel the need to sell anything on e-Bay.
DeleteThis is the first time Levi's had an ear problem in his 10 years but luckily they were just full of gunk with no infection. Aren't fleas and ticks a problem in your area?
Can't wait until you Alex post goes live.
Mystery or not. I can't help feeling that a person who had given up a baby for adoption wouldn't do the DNA test if in the back on her mind she wasn't hoping for a connection to come forward. I wish she'd write more about it. I'd like to know who made the first move to contact the other. I know Ancestry notified her and him but they leave it up the individuals to take the next step, if you wanted. She didn't say if he always knew he was adopted either.
A couple of years ago I was contacted by a second cousin who had been put up for adoption as a baby. She had located her birth mother through DNA testing but was looking for her father. Given the information available to us, we pretty much determined which of my dad's relatives it was. Unfortunately, he had passed away a few years prior. This new cousin had only recently started looking for her birth parents because she and one of her sons were having some hereditary health problems and she wanted to find some answers. She had had a happy upbringing with her adoptive parents. Her birth mother had her when she was 15 and had gone on to marry later, have two more daughters, and become a successful business woman. She never told anyone about this first child, but later my cousin was contacted by those daughters who had done their own DNA testing and she eventually met her birth mother and stayed in touch with her half sisters. This never would have happened without DNA testing, so it can be both a blessing and a curse depending on where you stand, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThe stories that come out of these reunions are really interesting, aren't they. If I had given up a baby at 15 I would always wonder it he/she had a happy home. To have that answer would be worth the risk.
DeleteHowever, I know a woman who had a child and gave it away before marrying and have three more kids. When the child showed up on her doorstep it created a terrible rift in the family because she hadn't told anyone, not even her husbands. She was a very strict mother and her daughters were angry with her because she had told them she was a virgin bride. After a couple of meetings with the stranger/sister and daughter they didn't haven't had any more contact. It's been 5-6 years since that happened.
By the way, do you allow comments on your blog? I can't seem to find a place to do that.
DeleteThanks for stopping by! Yes, you can comment on a post either by clicking on the title of the post and then scrolling down or by clicking on the white heart in the red circle on the left next to the post's title.
DeleteNo wonder I couldn't figure out how to comment. LOL White hearts, red circles....
DeleteThe thing with having children or having pets.
ReplyDeleteThe pets will cost you more over a lifetime.
Seriously? I don't have to buy clothes for Levi.
DeleteOr pay for orthodontia, college, or a wedding. :)
DeleteLevi is costing about $1,000 year but most of that is for his teeth. That should go down though because he doesn't have many left. He's been to advanced obedience school but that was under $50. So far he has been to enough doggie mixers to meet anyone to marry but if he ever does, I could do the flowers. LOL
DeleteNahh, I have both kids and pets with chronic illnesses. Even been a seriously spoiling pet parent, the cost of the kids is tenfold.
DeleteI wonder what DNA test they all used? I'm thinking of doing the ancestry one because it's on sale until Xmas, but I don't really know what tests give you more information. No kids out there, just curious. This was a great post!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping she will blog again with more details but I'm guessing Ancestry has a larger pool if someone is hoping to get a match up with a lost relative because they've been at it longer. I did the Ancestry DNA but if 23& me comes alone with a sale at Christmas I'm doing theirs too. They have the health part that I'm interested in doing ad an add-on but it's pricey at $200. It will show if you have the marker for Alzheimer's for one thing.
DeleteI've done Ancestry, FamilyTreeDNA, and 23&Me. Ancestry is best for locating matches within the U.S. I found FTDNA great for finding matches from Europe and other countries outside of the U.S. Ancestry recently updated their ethnicity estimates and also now allow you to compare those with your matches, among other new things. If you do Ancestry first you can upload those results to FTDNA and only pay a small fee to see your matches there. All companies have different reference groups so your ethnicity results will not be exactly the same, so it helps to have some knowledge of your "paper trail" or genealogy. I found out I'm 20 to 30% Finnish/Western Russian on my maternal grandmother's side that I had not been aware of because it had been suppressed within the family. Opened up a whole new world for me. Now I have my great-grandfather's tree back to the early 1600's in Finland. Would never have known this but for the DNA test from Ancestry that started it all.
DeleteWow, you are really deep into genealogy. I've taken my mom's family back to the 1500s in Ireland (paternal side) and England (maternal) and both sides of dad's back to 1850 in Italy. I'd like to go back further with Dad but I had to quit so I could publish my findings. I had two hardcover books published (six copies each). I was afraid if I died before publishing the info my box of research would get tossed.
DeleteI was disappointed in my DNA testing as it didn't reflect my research all that well regarding my dad...too general with a large chunk labeled "western European."
I have some Western European too. From what I understand, there was so much admixing of groups from that area over the centuries that it's hard to pinpoint particular ethnic groups. I know I have Dutch, Swiss and/or German and perhaps French in my lineage, so that would make sense. People moved around a lot due to religious wars, and war in general.
DeleteHaha! Don't get me started on Alexa. She lives in my bedroom now - I banished her from the kitchen. Since nothing goes on in there, except me reading books or sleeping there is nothing for her to listen to/spy on. She is useful for telling me the weather and for turning off and on my bedroom lamp (hard to get at the switch otherwise). But other than that, I haven't found her very helpful.
ReplyDeleteI use Alexa mostly to ask spelling words and definitions and for the weather, so it works fine just having her on my Kindle. If it's not open she doesn't work, which is fine with me. If she were in the bedroom and could spy I'd ask if I snore at night. LOL
DeleteI can't have an alarm or phone in my room so I use alexa for streaming music, as an alarm and to get my morning westher and news in bed.
DeleteNo alarm or phone? I've had both in my bedroom since 1960.
DeleteI hope everything will go well for Levi. You are amazing Jean. I'm trying to write a little more in my blog but I really there isn't much to say. I love the amount of wording that you can do in your blog. It must be a woman thing. LOL
ReplyDeleteNow about the word " pussy " I'm going to stop right there before I get myself into trouble. LOL See ya my friend.
Cruisin Paul
Good idea, Paul. I was actually a little worried about what you might say about the 'pussy' word. LOL
DeleteAs for how much I write, the trick is to just let your mind wander and record (write down) what is going through your mind. Sometimes you'll have so much nonsense down that you'll edit half of it out but often times a theme emerges that you can use. If that fails, try writing what you are doing with your time---no matter how mundane you might thing it is---and how you feel about what you're doing. I am guessing women are more used to sharing feeling than men, but I don't read many blogs written by men to know if these is true.
Time Goes By ... son emailed her first. A bit of back and forth, then she stopped when she got sick and had surgery. Then he reached out again after reading about cancer in her blog. GOOD FOR HIM!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the information. And you are so right.
DeleteYou do realize that you're writing about a virtual assistant as though it's a human being, right? That really made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can get Levi through all these tests and etc. without problems, or wracking even more of a bill. Your detailing of all the this-and-that of keeping him healthy is a good reminder to me that I really can't afford another pet. I actually was looking at a photo of a kitty the other day and thinking, "Well..." but then I remembered the difficulties of hurricane evacuation with a pet, the worry of what would happen to it after I'm gone, and the expense, and the rational part of my brain took over and say, "Nope. No way. Never ever."
Alexa sounds so real it's hard to remember she's not. And I really think the tone of her voice changes if you repeat a question. By the third time she usually sends you off into cyberspace.
DeleteI still haven't heard back from the vet. Living in a place that gets hurricanes, I can see why that factors into your decision about getting another cat. I know I will if something happens to Levi but I debate about a young one or older dog. Levi has funds that follow him if I die first, it's taken care of in my will and he has someone appointed who is in the foster business that will help with that. Have you ever thought of just fostering a cat. You can give them back at anytime or when they find a forever home...which ever comes first and you don't have to pay for medications, licenses, etc.
That has crossed my mind. Right now, our city no-kill shelter is busy putting together a new building, new programs, and new everything, but once the holidays are over, and they've gotten things in order again, I might explore that. Or not. I waffle back and forth, as most of us do, I suppose.
DeleteIt should be a hard decision because animals matter in our lives and we do in theirs. Heard from the vet and the test brought good news. Treatment for the Lyme disease was a success.
DeleteYou should check out Alexa with pussy cat just to see what she does! Poor Levi... I hate it when animals are sick. I have to make arrangements should something happen to me with Lizzie.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought about it but I think you are spot on about leaving something of yourself behind if you have no children. I think that's why I'm so gung ho on my genealogy project and the other book I'm working on with highlights from my blog posts. Just a record before I'm forgotten...
I've been thinking about a book with highlights from my blog as well! But I can't settle on a theme---thoughts about my family, thoughts about the world and politics or maybe just my favorite posts. I did a lot with genealogy and I do think I was gung-ho because I'm childless. My niece says they are my legacy and I'll be known in future generations because I pulled it all together and wrote family history books.
DeleteI just asked Alex "what is a pussy cat" and she told me, then I asked her to spell 'pussy' and she did it this time! Then I waited five minutes and asked her to spell it again and she was back to, "I'd rather not answer that." It's fascinating how she is programmed.