Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Hobbies, Hazards and Downsizing Tales



I love going to hazardous waste recycling. At least the three times I’ve been there have been positive experiences. The guys that work there are so happy to see people not dumping paints, thinners, spray cans, cleaners and other toxic chemicals in places where they don’t belong that they are like rays of sunshine when you pull into one of their drive-up, drop-off lanes. I managed to get up early enough last Friday to connect with them---they're only at the collection center on my end of town one half day a week---and I brought an entire box full of artists paints, inks and bottles of unlabeled liquids long forgotten. When I opened the trunk and the worker saw my box, he lit up. “This is some interesting stuff!” he said. There was well over a hundred tubes and bottles and he was actually looking forward to sorting it into their various bins. Another worker came over to see what he was so excited about and they made me feel like I gifted them with a treasure that will help them slay the dragon that’s torturing Mother Earth. 

I always knew that cadmium and cobalt colors are dangerous. We were warned about them in art classes back in the sixties. “Wipe it off your hands as soon as it touches your skin.” Artists have died from getting poisoned from certain colors. Modern testing of the exhumed bones of Caravaggio (early 1590s to 1610) revealed he died of lead poisoning and it’s believed that Van Gogh’s mental health issues came from his habit of sucking the ends of his paint brushes, giving himself lead poisoning as well. Modern science has even found a way to give Paul Gauguin a clean bill of health regarding a long-standing belief that he died of syphilis. Testing his teeth proved he'd never been treated with mercury which was standard practice for STDs back in his day. But he loved his cadmium colors so, who knows, maybe they killed him at only fifty-five years old? Cadmium based colors, which he favored and used abundantly, are known causes of cancer and kidney issues.

What I didn’t know until this week's trip to hazardous waste is that acrylic paints for artists---which I wrongly assumed were safer than oils and their mediums---release a vapor of ammonia into the air as they dry and the acrylic mediums we use to thin them contains formaldehyde. Additional research found a warning that artists are advised not to have drinking cups or food in their studios because of the vapors. The guys at recycling told me that they’d love to see artists bag up all our rags and the sludge that forms in the bottom of our brush cleaning cans and bring the bags into a hazardous waste recycling center. Yup, even paints labeled ‘safe for humans’ are not necessarily safe for the environment. I do love men who advocate for our environment and who have the brains to read looooong words on labels and understand what they mean. They told me to treat all artists paints as if they are dangerous to your health and the environment, even though some are safer than others. Write that down in your book of useful tips.

Over Labor Day weekend I had two things on my downsizing schedule, one of which was the task of sorting three boxes of teddy bear making supplies. I was dreading that because of all the crafts I’ve done over the years I loved making teddy bears the best and it was the hobby I was hot and heavy into when my husband had his stroke. It had been 17+ years since they were packed up and I wasn't sure what I'd find. To my relief one contained ten bags bear stuffing material and while it’s a higher quality than pillow stuffing, it’s still generic enough not to bother me to send it on its way.

Another box contained eight bears that had been cut out and are ready to sew together and assorted fur fabrics. Can’t sell them and I wasn't sure if I could donate something like that. But since the hardest and the most time consuming part of making bears is already done, I set two of the eight aside to keep. The box also contained patterns, joints, leather for paws and feet, silk threads for noses and findings for eyes, oh my! But the most fascinating box-within-a box that I opened was full of samples of imported furs. Some with prices as high as $78 a yard and those are 1990s prices! I had trouble trashing those, so I set a couple of samples aside to “pet” and buried the rest deep in the trash.

samples of teddy bear furs
Also unearthed in my teddy bear boxes was the cutest black leather jacket no more than 2 inches by 3 ½ inches big (shown in the photo at the top). That will make some little girl shopping for Barbie doll clothes at Goodwill happy. Unpacking one of the boxes was like going to a baby shower. I was pulling out vintage new born outfits hand over fist, meant to dress finished bears. After putting them in the washer and dryer and photographing them I had the baby clothing listed on e-Bay before the sun set. They won’t bring much money but it was fun playing with such little outfits. My favorite piece was a girls swimsuit in a preemie size. Who takes a baby that tiny swimming? I ended up keeping a 12" x 10" x 8" box of teddy bear stuff, and a large box of stuffing is ready for the auction house. I'm taking a bankers of assorted teddy bear making supplies including the cut-out bears to Goodwill. If they don't want them all bagged up and labeled like craft kits then they don't know what they're missing. 

I don't have many teddy bears anymore...only nineteen but all but five are under four inches tall and they live in a glass cube that doesn't take up more than eight inches of a bookshelf. Of the five bigger ones, I won't have trouble thinning the herd down to...four. ©

This happy guy and the bear in the photo at the top are the only ones I have left of those I've made myself.
My favorite artist purchased mini bears. I let them out of their glass cube long enough to photograph. They stand three inches tall and the stitches are so tiny you need a magnifying glass to see them. The smallest I've ever been able to make was five inches.

Another mini bear. He loves to take baths.
No self respecting bear lover would be without a Steiff. I have two. The big one is in the Federal Witness Protection Program and is hiding in my collectibles showcase.

37 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for telling us about artist's materials. I didn't know that.

    I loved the discussion of your teddy bears too. :)

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    1. We all take it for granted that the stuff---not just artists paints, all stuff---that's sold in stores is safe but if we can absorb medications in patches it's only logic to believe we can absorb harmful stuff as well.

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  2. The bears are fantastic! Have you thought about taking that fur out of the trash, putting everything together.and dropping it all off at Good will. A crafter would be wild about the find! Just put a sign on it to keep it together.

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    1. Seriously? Most crafters probably would love to at least see a bag of samples, but I'm not sure Goodwill wouldn't just toss them. They are so fun to touch!

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  3. Such interesting hobbies. I love the bears you made and they look like they want a cuddle.

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    1. I've given a lot of bears away. And recently an old friend sent me a photo of a bear I gave her when her now 40 something year old daughter when she was born. It used to be one of her favorite toys.

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  4. You're a very talented young lady!! Is there anything you can't do?!

    I just read some of your previous posts that I'd missed and saw your painting of the house-you-couldn't-buy - its beautiful!!!

    Keep up the great downsizing project - I'm following your progress keenly. ~ Libby

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    1. Wait until I start downsizing inside the house. That's when I'll really start having a having a hard time letting go. And I'll have to write about because it will continue to consume me for the next year.

      Things I can't do: Any kind of sport. Cooking.

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  5. Heavens! There really is no end to your interests and hobbies. I can see why you needed such a great deal of time and a plan to go through your things. You have a lot of life to sort through.

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    1. I do have a lot of life to sort through...I love that expression rather than 'downsizing.' I was fortunate enough to buy the house I grew up in which had lots of storage space so I've never had to downsize hobbies and interested out of my life before. And the house we had built---this one has a huge basement...empty now, I'm proud to say except for Christmas boxes which will get sorted in early October.

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  6. I had no idea about the paint and supplies holding such potential dangers. I will do my research!

    Thank you!

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    1. As long as we don't eat it and keep it off our skin and we work in a well ventilated room we're fine. But you are working in oils so you have extra careful with your rags and thinners, etc. regarding the environment, not to mention fire safety.

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  7. I confess that downsizing my craft supplies before a move has always been difficult for me. Our crafts and hobbies become part of our souls sometimes but when we do downsize we have to think of giving someone else a chance to enjoy our goods. We have a good freecycle program here and I often give away a group of items. I usually ask for a young person or group that is interested in this craft to respond. But wherever our goodies go, they will give happiness to someone like they did to us.

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    1. They are part of our souls, aren't they...even the ones we've abandon along the way. One of the bloggers from out west lives in a town that has a Goodwill-like place just for arts and craft supplies. I would LOVE that. Right now I'm dragging my feet about trashing 15-20 mat boards. That stuff is expensive. I was going to give it to my cleaning girl who is in our local art college but I just got a call from her boss that she's no longer working for them.

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    2. Can you donate some of your art supplies, like the mat boards, to your local school district or continuing ed system for their art programs? Might help someone out...

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    3. I'm taking them to Goodwill tomorrow. Someone told me they pass on stuff like that to inner city programs, like they do with medical equipment. If they refuse the mat boards I'll look into the school idea. Thanks for the suggestion.

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  8. Love your bears, and this post! Damn, now I have to be extra careful not to drink the paint water by mistake. Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn't be eating or drinking in the studio...

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    1. I put my paint brush in my coffee once and noticed that I did it which begs the question, How often do we do things like that and don't notice. LOL

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  9. my goodness you are a multi talented woman! so that's why I did not get a talent, you have em all!😊

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    1. I was going to say that's it's because I never had kids to take up my time but then I remembered you don't either. LOL

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  10. Had no idea being an artist was so dangerous. This was an eyeopener. Those bears are so cute. You certainly are a crafty sort.

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    1. I don't think the Sunday artist has to worry if you're not eating the stuff but it is a good idea to to be prudent around any chemical compound.

      Before my husband's stroke I used to say I collected hobbies and that I couldn't decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. Not far from the truth.

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  11. I never knew that about artist paints! Love your bears♥

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    1. Few people do know or if they did, they've forgotten.

      Molly, Levi loves my teddy bears, too. That's why the best ones are locked up. One time we had a dog who played with my husband's childhood teddy bear and it was the only time I ever saw him mad at a dog.

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  12. Interesting about the hazards of acrylic paints — i didn’t know I thInk I’ll stick to my watercolors! The very furry bear is so cute and cuddly. I’m glad you were able to rescue some of the things so it all didn’t go to the landfill.

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    1. I love the fur in that bear!

      Even with watercolors you need to be mindful with the cobalt and cadmium based colors.

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  13. Good golly you can do ANYTHING! Sorting through life is a big job but you have it 100X more intensely. So many arts and crafts.

    Call and ask for your cleaner's number ... tell them why (if you are continuing to use them). Darn! The hardest part about sifting through is knowing someone could use the stuff ... but there aren't enough heartbeats to track down who could use it ... schools, churches for Sunday school, preschools, after school care facilities, starving artists, and so on.

    You astound me!

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    1. Everyone is astounding when we get into the details of their lives like we do when we read blogs. I could not cook and entertain little boys like you do or volunteer at some of the places you do.

      Right now I'm sorting my husband's rolling cart of tools so I can sell the tools at the auction house and someone is already interested in the cart if we can agree on a price. I need to keep a few toolsto support the house while I still own it.

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  14. I had no idea about the toxicity of colors of Artist Paints! WOW! I once met an elderly Lady at a Craft Show that made Steampunk Teddy Bears and even made her own Fibers/Yarns/Fabrics! She and Husband dressed Steampunk and it was so Cute to see a Lively Couple in their 80's being so Trendy and Cool! They said nobody in their Senior Retirement Community 'Gets It'... ha ha ha... I would imagine not... but her Bears were a huge hit with the Young People who did 'Get It'. You did well downsizing, but those Fur Samples... in the Trash... I'd of Donated them to see what happens, there are Weirdos out there like me who Collect the strangest things and perhaps their Heart would have been all aflutter to get those Samples?! *Winks*

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    1. Be still my heart...Steampunk teddy bears would be so cute!

      I should have donated the sample, I just. I love to pet them so someone else might have too. Too late now.

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  15. Wow, I learned a lot about paints today! I had no idea about the hazardous of some of them. I knew about lead paint because every single house we have bought has some clause in what you sign in the purchasing about it, but no clue about the others. We had a corgi that had diabetes that we had to give shots to 2 times a day. We visited the hazardous waste a lot of times to dispose of the needles used. I'm weird, but I liked to go to the dump when we lived in Billings, Montana and the dump was open to city residents for free. It was freeing to back your vehicle to the side of the hole and just dump your possessions.

    Cute bears you made! My mom, no longer living, used to make Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls. They were so cute and she would sell them to those interested and gave away a lot of free ones to family and friends and friends of friends.

    Hubby and me had to downsize his parents' home. In total, we either sold, donated, or threw away over 30,000 pounds of stuff. It was a nightmare. I won't do that to our kids, LOL :) So keep pursuing downsizing as much as you can!

    betty

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    1. Growing up going to the kind of dump you described in Billings was my favorite thing to do with my dad. We were allowed to pick through the stuff and sometimes came back home with stuff.

      I've made my share of Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls, too. It was a popular hobby there for a while.

      Helped my husband downsize his mother's house but he kept way too much of her stuff. Not fun! When my dad died, the cottage was sold with its contents...that's the easy way.

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  16. Dear Jean, the longer if read your blog, the more fascinated I am by your life and your mind and your creativity. I wonder if you've ever thought of writing a memoir. Peace.

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    1. It's a mutual thing, Dee...I'm fascinated by your life too and am hoping you'll write that next book about your life after you left the convent.

      As for me, I consider my blog my memoir. I have also had the fun of having a couple of self-published books made with various blog posts. That's enough to make me happy.

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    2. Dear Jean, what are the names of those self-published books and are they on Amazon? Peace.

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    3. Dee, I pulled all my books off the Blurb bookstore---there were five---where I was selling them. But if you can get most of the same text on my other blogs. You can find links to them by clicking on my profile page near the bottom of the right hand column and then on the next page that opens you'll find a links to my other blogs. 'From the Planet Aphasia' was written during my caregiver days with lots of flashback to our lives. 'The Cooper and Levi Journals' was written in my dogs voice and has a lot of humor. 'The Aphasia Decoder's Diary' is a record of my husband's speech classes probably not of interest unless a person lost speech or knows someone who did. Will this current blog and the others, going back to the first post and working forward is the best way to do it.

      Thanks for your interest!

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    4. Dear Jean, I'll go and do some searching! Thanks. Peace.

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