Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Makeup and Maintenance


Life is going by so fast it’s a wonder I’m not getting nose bleeds from the speed. Is that even a thing? Christmas has come to the stores and a few bloggers and I haven’t even bought my Halloween candy yet. I never buy it early because I’d start eating it and have to buy it a second time. I hate that Halloween always starts me on a sugar binge that lasts until the January diets cycle around. I used to buy miniature bags of popcorn and pretzel bags but as my then-young neighborhood started popping out more and more children I got priced out of giving those out. Neighborhoods change. I used to get 140 kids, now it’s down to 70 to 80 kids. I still buy animal crackers for the tiniest trick-or-treaters because the dog and I love having them left over at the end of the night. 

Moving on. I went to a Mary Kay makeup party/luncheon. One of my Gathering Girls friends has a daughter who is a top sales representative, her full time job that earns her a free car to drive and she just got home from a Mary Kay Caribbean cruise and she took her mom with her, expense free for both of them. While I was getting my face made up I asked if the party was a makeup intervention for me because I’m the only one in the group who doesn’t wear anything but lip gloss and eyebrow cream. When I buy makeup it turns rancid before I can use it up because I don’t go anywhere often enough to bother wearing. I also don’t trust my old, cataract encrusted eyes to be seeing color accurately enough to plaster on all that stuff. I see older women who wear colors that are too bright and fake looking and when I mentioned my fear at the party, several of my friends assured me that they would tell me if I was doing that. Sure, famous last words. 

I have to admit that my before and after photos did show a flattering difference but all I bought was an eyebrow pencil and a tub of lipstick which cost me $30.74 and an extra trip to pick them up a few days later. I did love the feel of the Mary Kay sugar scrub for your lips but I figure I could smear a couple of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on my lips and it would have the same effect for a fraction of the price. Still, the party was fun and I got an email from the daughter a few days later thanking me for “playing along” and being “a free spirit” which left me scratching my head about the latter. I guess makeup demonstrations with seniors bring out the silly in me. The same thing happened when I went to a fashion and makeup show with my future neighbors last summer. 

With all the lip service (no pun intended) given to striving to be our authentic selves it’s a curiosity that painting our faces up has endured since the days of the Egyptian queen, Cleopatra. Oh, yes, turning eyes “green” with copper ore and drawing black lines around eyes with Kohl is the foundation of all the Mary Kay and Avon parties. What we forget is that men, back in 4,000 BC were every bit as besotted with their superficial appearances as the women were but somehow they managed to leave the practice of wearing eye makeup back in the pages of history until this century when metro-sexual men started in again. Why? Why did men stop using makeup (except for powder) and why on earth would they start spending the money and the time again when they were free of all that fuss? By the way, archaeologists believe the practice of the Egyptians giving themselves the ancient version of our modern-day smoky eyes may have had a practical purpose of reducing the glare of the sun. Okay, I guess that makes sense, judging by all the war movies and football players I’ve seen. 

Moving right along, again. Yesterday was a house maintenance day and it’s a relief to finally get my gutters cleaned out. One of them had to be taken apart to get a mass of pine needles out. That particular downspout was causing a waterfall when it rained to pour over my front sidewalk which would have caused a dangerous, icy mess in the months to come. There’s always something. 

Yesterday an arborist also spent three hours trimming my shrubs. He’s eight-two! I had a hard time booking him because he bowls on Mondays, goes somewhere else fun on Wednesdays and cuts lawns on Fridays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays when he trims shrubbery I was always booked up. I had to cancel a RSVP to attend a lecture to fit him in. The lecture was one I really didn’t want to miss. It was given by two people: one the daughter of the Japanese ambassador during WWII and the grandson of Eisenhower’s Chief of Intelligence. I saw them interviewed on TV afterward and know I missed a fascinating perspective on the war. But I enjoyed spending time out in the yard. Between the downspout guy (who was upbeat and fun to be around) and arborist both being here for hours, I was dead tired from raking and holding the ladder. But it was disappointing that neither one of them noticed my new and “improved” eyebrows. Should I ask for my Mary Kay money back? ©


NOTE: If anyone wants to see the 'after' picture of my makeover last week, click on the page at the top that's labeled 'What I Write About.'

34 comments:

  1. We get lots of kids here on Halloween. We give out a piece of candy OR a plastic eyeball. You'd be surprised how popular those eyeballs are with the over 8 y.o. crowd.

    I don't wear much makeup because I find it makes my skin breakout and I feel like a clown in it. If it's not a natural look, quickly applied, then it's not for me. Plus the price. I didn't know about the Egyptian reason for the smokey eye, but it makes sense. Fortunately the sun is rarely glaring around here in the midwest so I don't need to do that. As if I would.

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    1. It just seems silly to me at my age to spend so much time putting makeup on just to make myself feel like I'm wearing a mask.

      I'm not surprised by the eyeball popularity. Great idea.

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  2. I'd certainly read a book of essays by you! Love this post.

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  3. I had to get a new passport this year and after seeing my passport picture, I decided the eye area definitely needed help:)

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  4. Would you wear makeup if you didn't have cataracts? I love those that never feel compelled to wear it. I want to be that way but then I look in the mirror and say, no you need it. I also got a kick out of the fact that you feel the need to do your eyebrows only. Hmm...! seldom go in public without my "face" Rick had an upper eye lift when he was 47 because his lids dropped so low that he flunked his eye exam for his driving test. Because it was done as a medical necessity to see insurance covered it. He said the stitches inside his lid drove him crazy!!

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    1. I don't think I would wear it after all these years of not wearing it. But my eyebrows are a different story. One has turned white and one is brown. It bothers the heck out of me. I was going to get the one dyed but the girl got the dye in my eye before she got started and I backed out. Boy did that hurt! My eyelids aren't there yet where insurance will cover them, but it's coming some day. I don't like that wide-eyed look some people end up with though. FAKE!

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  5. My heavens -- no wonder those Mary Kay sellers drive fancy cars. Thirty dollars for a lipstick and eyebrow pencil? Worth it if the quality's better, no doubt, but still...

    I don't wear any makeup these days, mostly because I got out of the habit when I started varnishing boats. Working at a job that sweats everything off in a hot minute means makeup is more trouble than it's worth, and once I got used to lipstick and a bit of blush in the winter, that was good enough. If I had differently-colored eyebrows, I might reconsider, but mine are salt and pepperish on both sides, so I just let them go.

    I've managed to forgo the Halloween candy for two years. In my apartment complex, there are maybe a half-dozen kids, and others don't come in, so there's really no need to stock up. And, really: I never believed I was doing it "just in case" some kids came. It was all for me from the beginning, which explains why I never bought anything I didn't like!

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    1. The Mary Kay lipstick stayed on for 1 1/2 hours without me eating or drinking in between. So, no, the quality wasn't better. The Mary Kay consultants will tell you you need to do a foundation stick first and a sealer after which would be another $30. I'll stick to my Burt's Bees gloss for 6-7 bucks. I do like their eyebrow pencil but I've never tried it before so the cheap ones might work just as well.

      I would happily forgo Halloween. You are lucky.

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  6. Made me laugh out loud at the Reese's substitute and not getting the proper response for your "eyebrows." Thanks.
    I need an arborist also but I want one young enough to just need watched, not helped. Still looking.

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    1. I had trouble even finding an arborist, I didn't check out their ages. LOL But I know what you mean about wanting eye candy. Mine kept telling me I didn't need to help but I wanted to as an excuse to keep an eye on what he was doing.

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  7. I hear ya on the Halloween candy. I don't get any kids anymore and I'm very happy about it. I sure don't need the extra calories.
    I wear shadow and mascara and that's it. I should wear eyebrow make-up on my very blond brows but nothing looks natural so I go without.

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    1. I wanted to get a medium gray eyebrow cream or pencil but no one seems to make anything but browns and blacks!

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  8. The day they make a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup face cleanser will be a great day for everyone. Sign me up.

    Tinted moisturizer and mascara is all I wear anymore. And your Burt's Bees coloured lip balm. That stuff is wonderful.

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    1. I have tinted Burt's lip balm all over the house. I buy six at a time at Amazon.

      I'll bet we could all make our own sugar scrubs. Can't be that hard to do and if a little Reese's got into the recipe, all the better.

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  9. I made my own sugar scrub in Maui since I showered outside and didn't have to clean up all the slippery stuff. Now I should moisturize everywhere but how do you let it sink in so you can get dressed?

    Makeup is a necessity for me. (freckled looking skin ... all precancerous, I'm sure) And especially now without glasses to hide behind, I'll do eyebrows. No mascara until next week so I'm not being very social. I use a brush on Clinique "redness reducer" to even things out, then Clinique "super" powder face makeup and a touch of blush. AND Burt’s Bees lip stuff. I should blog without and with. BIG difference.

    So glad you got your outdoor chores done! More to cross off that list!

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    1. I could use that redness reducer. I'll check that out. And you are a brave woman to blog your before and after results of make up. LOL

      I do have a sugar and roses scrub made by Beauty and Planet. Got to be careful not to use scrubs that contain the tiny plastic particles that get in our fish.

      I just need one or two more good weather days to finish up outside, need to thin some plants and empty perennial pots but I'm not going to stress if it doesn't get done until next spring.

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  10. I would have LOVED that lecture. I'm sorry you missed it. Making sugar scrubs is easy. Google homemade sugar scrubs. (Add Reeses if you like! I would!)Mary Kay is overpriced.

    I have SOME candy but still unopened and in another room I don't like to go in (but will have to -- company is coming.) Probably will have to buy another bag or two but haven't seen what I want yet. If I open it, trouble.

    By the way, you crack me up!

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    1. Mary Kay sure is over-priced and I hate that when you go to parties like that you feel obligated to buy something. I ended up buying a supermarket eye shadow after the party and paid about a 1/3 of the Mary Kay product.

      Your bright, smiling selfies tells me that you crack up easy but I'm always happy to hear that compliment.

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  11. I still love playing with makeup, from time to time. I’ll probably be one of those ladies with two bright circles of rouge and overdrawn lips and eyebrows one day. Unless (and hopefully) my daughter stages an intervention. I have to use a 10X mirror to do my eyes already...LOL!

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    1. Someone has to be one of 'those ladies.' LOL But your daughter will save you.

      Besides the 10X mirror, I also need lights bright enough to be on an airport runway.

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  12. October is so difficult for me. As a diabetic and chocolate addict, I can't even bring the candy into the house or, like you, it will be gone before the day.

    I put on makeup the other day to go to my son's house. No one said a word about it so it was either so bad they were embarrassed to tell me or so light they couldn't see the difference Hum. I'll have to think about it before I bother applying any makeup.

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    1. Honesty, I believe that people who've known each other a long time don't always see us even if we're sitting across a talk. We see what's in our mind's eye, if that makes any sense.

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  13. Your new and improved Eyebrows weren't noticed, damn! *Winks* I've not been one to wear much Make-Up either and as I Age it's a belief of mine that less is more anyway. I wouldn't have the patience or time to spend more than 5 minutes putting my face on and my hair done... hence, the Dreadlocks and spartan Make-Up regimen of Neutral Eye Shadow and Mascara. *LOL* I remember the Mary Kay Parties, haven't been to one in Years, I did like the Facial Moisturizers they used to hawk, as I recall they invented it from seeing how tanning Leather made it supple or something like that and replicated a cosmetic version for Women?

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    1. Now you've gone and made me sorry I passed on trying the moisturizers when offered. But then do I really want to look like a well tanned leather saddle? My gosh you could wrap up a lot of time and money on that stuff!

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  14. I think a lot of women use too much make-up and it's actually quite ageing. I used to wear make-up to work but these days I only put it on if I'm going out.

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    1. I agree.

      The Mary Kay lady had makeup on that makes your face shine like a thin coat of sweat. Apparently that's a fashion trend. Back in my era of wearing makeup, that would have called for the heavy duty face powder to cover up a shiny face.

      Delete
  15. I don't get kids for Halloween any more and I'm thankful for that...not because of the candy, just because I don't want to be running to the door.

    There is a lovely woman on a YouTube channel called 'Sixty and Me' who found a pretty nice makeup selection at Dollar General of all places. I was impressed when she was done. She's fearless; comes on camera bare faced and puts make up on while we watch. Talks about much more than make up. Kind of fascinating that there are YouTube channels specifically for older people, but there are YouTube channels for EVERTHING.

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    1. There were several Dollar General make up challenges on Sixty and Me. Their make up looked every bit as good at the Mary Kay.

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  16. We haven't had trick-or-treaters for several years now. Probably because the stores in our town has an organized on the Friday before Halloween. The kids dress up and go from store to store gathering goodies --- it's a friendly tradition. :)

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    1. I really wish we didn't have any. I don't like having to lock up the dog and keep opening the door to let the cold air in and worst of all, staying off the computer for the night. One of my best Halloween memories is of being in a small town on Halloween where the owner of a store let us hand out the candy while she took photos of the kids.

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  17. I wear make up very lightly. I like mascara so that my eyes don't completely disappear into oblivion and it was weird not being able to use it after my cataract surgery for a week or so. But I realized, too, that it was "freeing" to just let my eyes/face just be natural and not enhanced. Like you, I really dislike the look of heavy make up and "clownish" color. Ugh! But I think make up, jewelry, etc. can be fun and MUST be optional for those who like it and it's perfectly fine to go without for those who don't. There can be make up days and no make up days depending on one's mood.

    As for Halloween candy....you are absolutely right -- it starts the sugar binge season for me too! I'll be away for Halloween this year, so no candy for me. The sugar season will get a later start, although I've already been eating pumpkin pie...

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    1. Mascara seems to be the one thing most women agree is a must have.

      Okay, now I want some pumpkin pie. Thanks.

      Delete

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