Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Childhood Dolls and Downsizing Choices

We have snow. Lots of snow and as long as I don’t have to make an emergency trip for me or the dog, I’m okay with getting trapped by an eighteen inch wall of snow at all but one doorway. Levi, however, was freaked out by the fact that the mistress of the house fell down on her duties to shovel him a path the first few days. What can I say, I got side tracked moving miniature furniture around on a blueprint and photographing stuff I hadn’t planned on selling on eBay until now. I had to open up the overhead garage door and let Levi pee and poop in the driveway. I finally dressed myself for a trek to the Yukon---the temperature outside was seven degrees---and I made him a path one shovel wide across the deck and into his pen. Watching him go there for the first time I realized he couldn’t turn around at the end of the path and he backed himself up the entire way. If he’d been a truck he’d been beeping out a series of little yips the entire twenty-five feet. So I dressed myself for the Yukon. Again. And gave him cul-de-sac circle at the end of his path. By the way, it's been so cold Levi has been peeing popsicles.

New Topic: I can’t tell you how many times I thought I was finished with selling stuff on e-Bay---two, three, four---but turns out I wasn’t. The first time was when the guy who owned the auction house where I’d been sending stuff to sell died and the place closed. The son-I-wish-I-had found another place but they charge about double the fees we'd been paying so it’s just isn't a viable choice anymore and I guess I'm too stubborn (or cheap) to donate one-of-a-kind things to Goodwill. We’re talking about having an on-sight auction of our own in the spring where we’d combine his, mine and another widow’s stuff he’s helping to downsize. The other widow is ten years older than I am and quite the character. She still runs an antique store in a small town, the sight where we’d set up the auction. Tim tells me stories about her and tells her stories about me and she told him he needs to get us together and he says, he’d be scared for his life to do that. Why? Because we’re both strong democrats and as a Trump supporter---still---he can handle one of us at a time but he’s not sure he could keep up if we tag-teamed him.

Some of the stuff I’m selling on e-Bay now are things I thought I’d keep for my new place but I realize I'm keeping too much. For example, I had a set of forest green shakers made for Hoosier cabinets circa 1905 that I thought would look great in my future kitchen but I finally admitted that I won’t have a lot of space on my counter top for non-functional decorative things. The listing closes tonight and I was rather disappointed that it’s getting bids. Too late now to change my mind. I also have a 1915 tourist plague up for auction and the silly thing has a bid of $22 with several hours still left for bidding. It’s one of those plagues made out of a slice of a tree with the bark still around the outside. I’ve always loved it but with its horse theme I had to admit doesn’t fit with the beach cottage look I want in my next living space.

I also sold a childhood doll on e-Bay. He had holes in its cloth body and I wasn’t sure anyone would want him. But the woman who won the bid said my beloved “Jimmy” will become a donator doll to two others. She runs a doll hospital and fixes old dolls for resale. Jimmy still has his rubber fingers and toes intact and original eye paint and I guess that's rare in dolls like him. I have another doll that I’m not selling but she sure could use a trip to the doll hospital. I almost took her about fifteen years ago. Some of her toes, fingers, one eye lash and her hair/wig are missing. She’s a composition doll, made during WWII when normal doll materials were scarce. Over time composition dolls flaked, cracked and crumbled and look like something out of a horror movie but I’m keeping her, so there! She’s wearing a coat that was made out of the suit my mom got married in. I can’t imagine a mother’s choice to cut up the suit she got married in to make her daughter clothes for Santa to bring. 

Over the years I’ve forgotten the name of my composition doll---gash, how could that happen?---but I’ll never forget the day I caught our dog eating the hair off her head. Blackie was already the main suspect to explain the missing eyelash, fingers and toes, but my mom also left room for pinning the crime on mice that came into the house through the coal bin. I eventually forgave the dog and kept on loving him and the doll. I have to keep her now. No one else could love with all her flaws except for maybe my blogger friend Dawn, who no doubt would put her head in a large mason jar for her vast display of curious and macabre collectibles. Holy cow! I just remembered my doll's name is Jane...as in Jane Doe. Dawn's severed doll head collection helped me remember! ©

35 comments:

  1. Oh, I don't envy you having to downsize. It makes me tired just thinking of it. Good luck!

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    1. I don't like doing it because it reminds me I'm not going to live forever. But I don't like the idea of someone else having to do it for me should I die or not be able to do do it for myself even less. On the other hand, it's fun when you find the right buyers for something you've treasured for a long time.

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  2. Never thought of a doll ending up being a donor but why not? Hope you and that other widow get together but not when Tim is around. That would be hard on him:)

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    1. The other widow lives in another town miles away so it's unlikely we'll ever meet

      I was kind of shocked when I found out my old doll will get parted out at least he and his reincarnations will go to homes that still value old dolls so that's a win over him going to Goodwill.

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  3. It is a never-ending job to get rid of old stuff!
    Before COVID, I used to love thrift-store, resale shopping but now I cannot picture wanting to buy any more crap to add to the piles I have now! I could gut my house and throw the whole mess in a dumpster but that might be cabin-fever talking. I am so sick of looking at it all!

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    1. cabin-fever talking...that made me laugh out loud. I wish I could look at stuff like dumpster feed but I'm too cheap and want to get as much money out of things as I can because this will be my last hurrah for doing so. If I run out of time, I'll feed Goodwill.

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  4. I can just imagine your mother being so happy she could provide you with a lovely gift! What a treasure. And I agree about how fun it is to send belonging on to someone who is excited about getting it.

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    1. My mom made a lot of doll clothes for both those dolls and last summer I sold them on e-Bay as one lot with healthy bidding. The fact that she used all 1940s fabrics made them popular. I saved one pair of overalls to put in a shadow frame that was in a color that fits my new decor. My mom didn't have much at all growing up---her mom died when she was nine---and she really did spoil me and my brother with anything a kid in our era could want.

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  5. Peeing Popsicles! I can see it. Forecasters are even predicting several days of snow in Portland!

    I'm still amazed at your downsizing project. Mine was 11 years ago and I still remember the emotional turmoil. There were some mistakes along the way but looking back, I am SO GLAD it is over!

    I love seeing photos of New Home!

    P.S. What a wonderful Mom you are for Levi!

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    1. Levi is a demanding little, spoiled soul so he gives me no choice to serve him. LOL

      As for downsizing the virus really effected how I've had to deal with stuff. Without it, I would have less time to sell off stuff and would have used the auction service more before they closed up. I still have furniture and art to sell but the furniture I leave behind can all go to charity.

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  6. I admire your tenacity about getting your stuff to the *right* places. That doesn't just happen. I hope your snowfall is more pretty than annoying. Of course it is February and that can be annoying in and of itself-- with or without snow.

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    1. Our big snow storms here are more than annoying, they are dangerous, closing down places and causing cancellations while we dig out. Of course, we get the pretty snowfalls, too. But I still have four foot drifts on my deck and it's been too cold to widen out the dog's path. But it's still February and more snow will be coming along.

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  7. Levi peeing popsicles. I laughed out loud, the vision is just too funny.
    I wish you wouldn’t be telling me what you are doing with all your treasures and how you are emptying your house; you make me feel guilty.
    I have to admit though, the way you do it is the right way, when I think that the day will come when my executors will just load all my precious and long loved stuff into boxes and off it all goes to charity.

    Watch that snow, Levi will have to care of himself if it is a question of you slipping outdoors and him emptying himself.

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    1. I wear ice fishing cleats on my boots and have a button I can push that I wear around my neck if I should fall and need help. I just have to get through this winter without falling and the rest of my life I'll be living where they have heated sidewalks for dog walking.

      At least your executors would haul it off to charity. A lot of families throw all the stuff an elderly person owns in the trash where it doesn't do anyone any good including Mother Earth.

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  8. Eighteen inches of snow...I need to stop complaining. We have several inches, but there's more on the way. Poor Levi and poor you for having to dig him a path. I wonder if they make doggy diapers? I haven't had a dog in many, many years, so I don't know. How sweet of your mom to make you doll clothes from her wedding suit. As you continue to ready yourself for the future, I hope you enjoy many meaningful memories.

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    1. They do make diapers for dogs and what they call belly bands for boy dogs where you put a pad in it.

      Because I have to take photos of the stuff I sell on e-Bay I might make myself a book of my 'favorite things' and write up something about each item I put in it. I like making books and have made them for gifts.

      I've made clothes for teddy bears so I kind of know how much time my mom must have spent before Christmas making stuff for Santa...two years in a row. I didn't get the dolls in the same year.

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    2. The idea of a book of your favorite things is pefect!
      I remember reading about a lady who had a huge collection of teapots- and she was downsizing. She was told to choose 5 or so of her very favorite ones and photograph the rest before getting rid of them!

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    3. That's a great idea for a large collection of like things! I had five teapots but gave away the sentimental one, sold three others and kept a newer functional one to use.

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  9. Glad to be of help to Victim Jane Doe's Name... and yeah, she's Lovely in that Macabre way only I could Love I suppose... and her original Owner. She has that great vacant thousand mile stare going on. *Bwahahaha!* Did I ever tell you the only Doll that scared the Granddaughter was a Normal 1950's Stepford Wife looking Doll? She called it Creepy Doll and made me Sell it because it 'scared' her... my Wednesday Addams Grandchild is a chip off the ole' Block in what she finds 'frightening'... if they ever had a QAnon Karen Doll I'd be totally Creeped Out! *winks*

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    1. I laughed out loud when I remembered her name after thinking about your macabre doll heads, and yes, she has that vacate eye stare that even creeps me out.

      My husband and I were cult lovers of the Stepford Wives movies. I didn't know there was a doll. I would have had one.

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    2. That Movie creeped me out more than any other Horror Genre Movie! *LOL* A Stepford Wife Type was all over Subdivision Hell... and that is what The Karen's remind me of, Stepford Wives on Steroids! White Prententious Privilege gone Haywire! Today I had an unpleasant exchange on The Book of Faces with the Daughter of a long time Friend whose been like a Niece to me her entire Life. She and her Mom have become super MAGAts and I just had to say something, tho' I know engaging with anyone in The Cult is futile. She angrily posted a Parroting of the latest Faux News bullshit and I decided, you know, it's time, to just dump their Family from FB since I have a Closed Page and it's just too much Drama and a Headache to Deal with a Trumpanzee no matter who they are or how long you've known them before they got into The Cult, it changes them in ways that I find totally unacceptable and creepy as Hell! I couldn't even Imagine living in an area where they dominate the landscape, tho' I know some Dear Bloggers that say they do and it must be Pure Hell for them?!

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    3. When I was touring CCC communities before I found the one I bought into I went to one that I swear was like a Hollywood set for Stepford old people walking around in the golf and tennis outfits. Even wrote a blog about it, the place gave me the creeps. For some reason, though, all the movies made and still make me laugh.

      I live in a Red county and know plenty of Trump supports but most are not in your face with it. We just politely ignore that part of our lives and I often think that's wrong and why their conspiracy bull gotten out of hand.

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    4. My Friend and her Family had moved to Texas and it has changed them in so many ways that are disturbing now, but explains a lot. They may have become what they are most surrounded by I suspect... not an excuse, but perhaps an explanation as to why I barely recognize who they've become?! I do think not confronting the BS and making it something to be shameful about is why it's festered and now reached critical mass to where they actually believe it's not only acceptable, but believe some really outrageous stuff that is so out of touch with Reality because nobody is presenting Reality to them anymore, so they've fallen deep down their Rabbit Holes into their own version of Wonderland.

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  10. My Mother cut up her wedding dress to make one for my "dress up" doll. These dolls were about 14 inches tall and about 4 inches around the middle. My cousin and I each had one.

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    1. My mom crocheted clothes for that size dolls. Makes me wonder if you could even buy many doll clothes back in our day.

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  11. It’s finally winter here too, Jean. Snowing at last, and it is even staying on the ground. A nice dusting of white. My mother sent me out for Halloween in her wedding dress, can you imagine? She was never very sentimental and there was not much money growing up so...it got cut down for me, and off I went...several years in a row if I am recalling correctly. Stay warm! Levi too!

    Deb

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    1. I can't imagine how cold it is up where you are!

      No, can't imagine a mother cutting down a wedding dress for Halloween. Although I knew someone who cut hers up for rags to wash the car...after her divorce. LOL

      My mom was more sentimental over her 25th anniversary dress than se was obviously over her wedding suit. It was a pretty drab war time thing so I can't really blame her.

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  12. no snow here - BUT we had a much needed drop or more of rain the other day - the grass even looks a little greener...

    sounds like you are really getting down to "what you can take to your new place, that will be usable v still in the moving box"

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    1. Yes and no. I have stuff I'll need to sell after the house sells that I'll need for a showing. Mostly furniture, but I'm not sentimentally attached to most of it. Got art work, too, that I have no idea how to sell during a pandemic. It's still the small collectible type stuff that can't be replaced that I go back and forth on but I'm getting there.

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  13. The thought of Levi backing up while beeping like a truck set me laughing -- that really is quite a thought. We're going to miss out on your substantial snow, but real winter's on its way. Ice may be the problem. It already caused a terrible crash in Dallas/Ft.Worth that surely will be on your news.

    I'm going to be making one more run through my clothes and such today, to see if I have any warm things to donate to a local resale/charity shop. I know I have a blanket that can go, and maybe a coat. Our houses aren't made for this weather, and people often aren't outfitted for it. I remember your experience with the power loss; I hope we avoid that, if the ice comes.

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    1. Ice is really scary whether you're on the road or at home. When I was downsizing I made the mistake of giving away a coat that I used during outages that would fit over my other coat. But I just have to get through the rest of the winter and then I won't ever need it since the place I'm moving to will have a back up generator to power and heat one room per unit during a power outage.

      Fingers crossed for you guys in your area to avoid ice and cold.

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  14. Can't imagine living in an area with that much snow and ice.
    Interesting what can be found on Ebay.

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    1. I've never lived any place else to know the difference. When you're young you get into winter sports that makes the snow welcome. Not so much when you get older.

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  15. A donor doll. I've never heard of that before. When all this is over and we're both comfortable seeing people, can I drive over to your fair city and get lessons in Ebay from you? I am an experiential learner and it helps to see someone doing it. I look at all the stuff in my house and wonder just how much I'll be able to take with me when I finally downsize (probably five years -- they will fly.)

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    1. By then I'll be out of the e-Bay business but you've given me an great idea for a post. I really like the idea of documenting the process I've been going through these past few years of downsizing. But you could still come over to be one of my first guests in my new place and see where your painting ends up being displayed.

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