Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, February 6, 2021

New Undies and the Tour


This is going to sound like a paid endorsement for Fruit-of-Loom undergarments today because at my advanced age I’ve discovered “slip boy shorts.” I imagine they’re called SLIP boy shorts because the material is a silky microfiber like what slips and camisoles are made of and the ‘boy shorts’ describes a style that reminds me of men’s boxer briefs. I’m a person who tosses and turns a lot when I’m sleeping and my normal underpants don’t necessarily toss and turn in the same direction that my body does. On more than one night my underpants have actually woke me up and I decided the quality of my sleep would improve if I did something about finding better sleepwear. I’ve tried pajama pants and they were worse in the twisting and turning department. Going commando is not an option---I wouldn’t want to shock an EMT should I need an emergency ride to the hospital. A ridiculous number of protagonists in romance books I've read recently sleep in slip boy shorts and camisoles---okay, it was four books all by the same author but the point is the idea to do a google search of the garment didn’t come out of thin air. The search paid off, finding me my new favorite sleepwear---slip boy shorts and t-shirts. If my blog was monetized my side bar would be full of Fruit-of-the-Loom advertisements about now and aren’t you glad that it isn’t.  

Monday I went out to the continuum care campus for my first up close and personal tour of where I’ll be moving when construction is done. In my time slot there were four of us who all have units close together. It’s very much still a construction zone but the sheet rock/plaster board was up so we could get a good feel for the space and the amount of natural light that comes in. I was pleasantly surprised that the light reaches all the way to the back of my unit in the main area. In the bedroom/master bath, not so much. The window in that area overlooks my covered patio which made the difference. 

The unit across the hall is flooded with light. It’s a two bedroom, two full baths on the corner of the building and it overlooks the lake. Wouldn’t you know it, the swans were so close to the shore we could practically count their feathers. A slight exaggeration but I had apartment envy touring Jerrie's' space and I’m hoping she’ll let me park my painting easel in her spare bedroom. Just kidding, but after Monday I was more confused than ever on where I want to set up my painting area and where I want my computer area. If I let the natural light decide what goes in the living room window area (photo above) I’d set my easel and supporting cart of brushes and paint there. If I let the amount of time I’ll spend at any given hobby factor into the decision I’d put my computer desk in that space. If I let my sense of ascetics dictate my choice then that window space will get my white wicker settee, chair and flower box. The bedroom is huge and big enough to put a computer desk in front of that window---the another person on the tour with a unit just like mine is doing that---but with the amount of time I spend at the computer I'm not sure I want to sleep and write in the same room.

At one of monthly get-togethers that the non-profit sponsoring this complex had before the virus came along, Jerrie, my across-the-hall neighbor, and I were comparing finances and projected costs of living in this place and our incomes and assets were pretty much even. All I can say is she’s got more guts than I do. I’ve never really stopped worrying about this aspect of the move, even after having their financial office go over my numbers a couple of times. I’m happy I didn’t trade an extra 400 square feet, a fabulous view and higher monthly fees for my peace of mind. I'll be on a tight enough budget as it is.

One side of Jerrie's unit butts up against the large public plaza where people will gather for campus parties, meet for coffee, to read, to look at the lake…or set up a portable easel. I would hate the lack of privacy that gives her kitchen, dining room and living area but she says she’s a social person and picked that unit precisely because she loves being in the thick of things. There were so many things to consider when picking a unit. I wanted the main floor, nearest an outside door and away from the trash compactor and the cheapest floor plan which translated into no lake view. I figure there are plenty of public spaces with lake views and that will give me incentive to leave my personal space.

I came home from the tour with some new information that will help be decide furniture placement. For example the blueprint I was given doesn’t completely match up with the real thing. There is a wall in the laundry room, for example, that was supposed to 14 inches between the doorway and the corner where I thought I’d have room to put a repurposed, 9” bookcase but the space is only 5” wide. TV wall mounding plugs will cause me to rethink where I put some tall bookcases, and a wall between two doorways where I was going to put my antique ice box was supposed to be 36” but it’s only 30” and the ice box is 29” so I’m not sure that will still look good there once they get the doorway trim on. By the time we moved on from looking at my unit, I remembered I planned to take more pictures but truthfully, I was too interested in just soaking up the space and imaging my stuff here or there, plus workman and my tour-mates where everywhere. There will be future tours as they progress, so expect more photos in the spring. ©

Photo at the top: The left side will have an all glass door leading to the patio so it will get even more light on that end of the main area. What looks like a step in the photo will not be there because the floor will be raised off the cement. It's the only photo I took inside my unit.  Here's a few other in the complex:

Taken from the private drive on the campus. My unit is in the building on the right, to the far end of the building. There is an open air plaza between the two buildings and they say there will be heaters in the winter for year around sitting.

The hallway. My doorway is the first one the right and where the hall opens up in the near right (where that big black tool chest is) leads to the outside door, elevator, etc. I took this photo standing with Jerrie's doorway directly on my left.

This is half of the fitness room which is just down the short hall from where that tool chest stands in the photo up above. Across from the fitness room is the elevator and stairs (they share a wall with my den and half bath). All this stuff and the outside door is off a large meet-and-greet area. The outside door is farther from my unit door than I'd envisioned for taking the dog out but he's very polite and sits when people approach so it should be okay. People from both buildings will use that fitness room so suspect Levi will help me meet people faster than I would on my own.

This is in the other building across the plaza from my building. This area is where the cafe, post office and concierge desk will be. Below is the 'blueprint' I was given early on of my unit. They have since tweaked it to make the kitchen area a foot wider and the half bath and laundry a foot smaller. The plaza and sidewalks will be heated in the winter but if I didn't want to go out to go to the other building I could take the elevator down, walk across to another elevator in the parking garage and take it over to the cafe or restaurant.

                                                            

48 comments:

  1. Really nice floor plan. What a the expected move in date?

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    1. The end of August with my house probably going up for sale by mid June.

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  2. It looks to me that you'll have plenty of space to live. I like that you have that Den room. Do you think that would work for your computer set up?

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    1. It will work for my computer, got to get a smaller computer desk, though, because now I have a large computer wardrobe. I go around and around about using the room for my computer or my painting easel.

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  3. It is looking really nice and good that you were able to take measurements and start coming up with your final layout. Very nice grounds too.

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    1. The only places I measured were the ones that I knew didn't line up with the blueprint I've been given and have been moving miniature furniture around on for months. Freaks me out hoping nothing major is off too.

      The grounds are what sold me on the community and fact that they have a stellar reputation in non-profit health care. The more I follow their newsletter the more comfortable I feel about their dedication.

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  4. Sounds like it was a very productive and valuable tour. Not so long now!

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    1. Ya, it's getting scary now...with the 'what ifs' and 'do really want this' questions.

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  5. It looks really nice! That is quite a bit of space. I like the extra den space you get. You will figure it out and move things around once you get in there. No worries - lots of chances to watch it transform before you move. You know you will make it work! How exciting!

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    1. I will only need to buy three pieces of furniture once I move---a smaller computer desk and I've got my eye on one with a finished back in case I do want to place in in front of that window above. A La-Z-Boy that I posted a photo of in a past blog and bar cart that looks classy in case I want it in front of that window for my painting stuff. Now I'm using a cheap plastic thing on wheels. Also will need a couple of area rugs. I won't buy the latter until I'm in there. I have so many cute, vintage side tables, stools and chairs and I'm afraid of letting them go before the move and wishing I had them back, so I'm really doing a lot of moving around models on graph paper.

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  6. I love it even more!!! I bet you will really love living there and will have a new gal pal group in no time. Can you even imagine NOT going outside in the winter unless you want to???

    Silky boxers indeed!

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    1. Right now we 20" of snow against my 18" windows and very low temperatures and the dog is driving me nuts because he doesn't want to break through it. I open the garage door and let him use the driveway...gotta shovel him a path today to his yard. So I am really looking forward to those heated sidewalks for him.

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  7. Oh, I love it! And you are going to love living in that area. So many things are right nearby and the grounds there are really lovely. Excited for you!

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    1. I'm a little intimidated with driving in that area. It's so congested compared to where I live now. I know my way to my two favorite grocery stores, the library and Trader Joe's and all my medical offices but I'll need to find a new hairdresser for me and a groomer and vet for Levi. I figure once I move I can do some field trips to teach myself the area. But if you've got any recommendations, let me know in a reply that I will see but won't publish. Just a street or two over is one I can take all the way out to both of my nieces' cottages and that street gets me out of the congestion really quick and I'm so excited about that. No more S curve or expressway.

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    2. Thank you so much for the information! The vet clinic should be easy for me to find....the routine you mentioned is the one I take to the library when I've dropped off books. (My local library still isn't taking them because of covid so every time I visit the CCC I've been going there.) I noticed a dog spa in the same area last week, too, when I dropped off books.

      I also know how to find the road your old hairdresser is on and to do it without making right hand turns which is a big deal to me. I do have short hair and I've been dreading the process of finding another shop. Now I feel better not having to go in blind. Thank you so much!

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    3. Great...glad to help! If you have other questions, let me know. Until June, I lived in that area for 20 years. :)

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  8. Gosh -- Somehow I didn't realize that August was your move in date. That's only six months down the road. Amazing. My time sense is so off at this point I hardly know what month it is. It's a good thing I don't have any big projects to schedule, like yours.

    When I got my first computer, it was in my bedroom, next to a window. It was just fine. When I tried to remember why I made that decision, I realized that was so long ago I had one of those honking big CRT monitors, and just didn't want it in the living room.

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    1. I don't have a big bulky monitor like those from the past but I have a 21" wide monitor, curved keyboard and printer that will have to set on the desk top. I can't stand working on my laptop but will keep it to use outside around the campus. The profile of my desk set up won't be aesthetically pleasing to me and that window will be one of the first things that draws you eye so I'm leaning towards putting in the den. I fully intend to write in the mornings, paint in the afternoons and knit or quilt in the evenings.

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  9. It looks just perfect. I can't wait until you're in and we see pics of your furniture and "stuff".

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  10. I am quite envious now. I wonder if that sort of thing exists here? Elder living is horribly expensive in England, there are flats etc to be had but they are certainly not non-profit. The annual maintenance is very high.

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    1. As far as I know there is only one non-profit CCC in my town and they've been in business for 104 years and have two locations. There is a foundation that supports them. Continuum Care places are common but non-profits are not common, and the price differences was huge. I toured quite a few places before learning this place was being built. The other location has a stellar reputation and has been in business since 1904.

      I don't know if you have continuum care places in Germany but here you buy into them and they promise to continue to care for you, even if you run out of money. They have a nursing home, memory care and hospice home on the same campus. Even the food in the restaurant and cafe are non-profit and they will grow their own veggies and locally source food whenever possible. They have volunteer opportunities like working in the gardens but you don't have to do anything if you want to. Residence will get to vote in what activities we want they will provide the space and teachers/facilitators.

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  11. How exciting for you! I know there are probably some misgivings, too, but you are definitely getting your ducks in a row! I like all the natural light (top pic) and the floor plan looks very functional. I don't believe we have any of these types of complexes in our community, but I wish we did! Is it locally owned and operated?

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    1. Yes, it is a local foundation that was started by some city philanthropists years ago. Their other campus was been around over 100 years, started out as a home for the poor run by a church. A large, Christian College in town gets a lot of money from the same foundation. I doubt there are many places like it and from comparing other CCC in town I know their buy-in cost, monthly fees and food is prices about 1/3 lower than other place because it is non-profit. I follow their Facebook page and on-line newsletter and the more I see about how they treat their employees and residents at their other campus and older phrase of this place, the more impressed I am.

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  12. Finding the right underpants is a good thing, I have taken to wearing the new "period" undies.

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  13. I'm so glad you finally got to see it! Fingers crossed the schedule doesn't slip and you can move and be settled.

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    1. That's been so stressful...the way the virus has effected the schedule and I have the big hurdle of the house to sell which I won't do until they have a firm move-in projected.

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  14. The floor plan is great. I can see why you like it but the inexact measurements would drive me bonkers. Like you I'd have everything measured down to the inch.

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    1. It frustrates me because for months I've planned certain things in places that won't work now. The bookcase in the laundry room was going to be my pantry and storage for mittens, hats and scares, for example.

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  15. Your future home looks lovely, Jean. I think it has the best of all worlds - a lovely large open space, and separate rooms. I love that you have a den space as well. Oh, I am excited to see progress and when you actually move in and what you do with your space!

    Deb

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    1. The den closet is pretty big and will be where my crafts will live. I have a drop leaf table for that room, too, that I can put up when I want to do a jigsaw puzzle, cut out quilting parts or other art projects. It has a pocket door to hide it away when it gets messy.

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  16. It sounds like a really productive day. And it looks like a good floor plan and set up although it was probably frustrating to learn that spots where you had planned to put a few things don't sound like they'll fit there anymore. I really like the way they have keep everyone in the loop there. They should at that price -- but it doesn't always work that way. What a relief to finally see it -- makes it all real!

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    1. It not for the virus we could have been having monthly get-togethers to keep us in the loop and get them feedback. At one meeting we sample menu choices, at another we helped pick out equipment for the exercise room. At Monday's tour I suggested a presentation on tech and appliances, how to use and care for and they thought that was great idea down the road.

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  17. This has to be an exciting time. Impressed with the room you will have and nice that you and your neighbor have already met and kind of bonded. Love the idea of an exercise room and prepared meals.

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    1. The cafe and restaurant will be handy but not necessarily where I'll get all my meals. The restaurant will be open for dinner only with a menu that will change every x-number of weeks. I forgot how many and we can book a private room for family dinners if we want. The cafe will be open all the time and be available to order snack trays if we're expecting company. They will also deliver to our doors if we want. We'll get a card like a credit card that the CCC will put a credit on it every month that we can use any way we want but even at non-profit rates for food the $200 a month won't buy us all our meals.

      I'm hoping the exercise room being so close will keep me going there...no excuses.

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  18. If you don’t need the extra closet space in the den, Have you thought about outfitting it for a computer work space, with shelving for your craft materials? That way you would still have room for your art work space.

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    1. I had a closet converted to office space in my old house so I know exactly what you mean. It's great, space saving idea but that unit lacks a closet for outwear and cleaning supplies so those things will share that den closet with my quilting, knitting and art supplies.

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  19. I like the floor plan, you new home is shaping up nicely. I think it will be a good move for you in every way, you did a lot of planning beforehand.

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    1. Thank you! I've been a long range planner all of my life so hopefully that will serve me well. It's that damn pandemic that has gotten in the equation that has caused issues I can't do anything but accept.

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  20. I love the floor plan!
    As for the EMT's, I sleep commando so this thought had never occured to me. I hate wearing clothes to bed, they don't move with you and then you wake up twisting your clothes. But now I have to worry about EMT's damn it. 😊

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    1. It's our age, Margaret. When we were young and had good bodies we wouldn't have thought twice about being caught naked by and EMT. LOL I also get up often in the middle of the night to pee or wander the house so I like to be covered up for that.

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  21. I guess I have no shame and as an old Hippie, no inhibitions, coz I don't Care about what the EMT's might find. I only wear clothes outside so that I don't get arrested or carted off to an Asylum. *winks* Your Unit Tour, I've been waiting for it! If you have a Peace about your decision that is Priceless when choosing Options for a Forever place. I used to always want a Paid Off Home in Old Age, I attained that... then the Adoption happened and like your Neighbor Jerrie, I swung for the Fences now, since a Paid Off Home again is never gonna be my Option and so my best laid Plans were for naught anyway... Life happens and I'm gonna have it all while I can and whenever I can now. *Smiles* When I was assisting the Live-in Friend with trying to find her Forever Home, to get her out of our Home, we explored CCC's. She couldn't afford it, but if we hadn't been Raising a Grandchild it was an Option I thought was a clever one for Aging Out in a Secure way, no matter what happens along the way. I did enjoy exploring that Option even if it wasn't for us... or for her... we had Fun Imagining. Like Jerrie, I was more inclined to go for The View and as much Space as I could grab... since... Stuff... and Views are important to me. It's the primary reason I fell in Lust with Pueblo Boheme', which had that one worked out, had the View to Die For!

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    1. Ya, the great view was a hard choice to give up but very few of the CCCs in the area were as dog friendly as this place is with its walking trail around the lake and a second one through a woods. And truly, the additional cost to go lake side would keep me up nights. The concept of living off from accumulated savings after a lifetime of saving it, freaks me out a little. But for a person without kids to oversee me as I age, the CCCs make a lot of sense. I plan on making good friends out of all the lakeside neighbors. LOL

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    2. Great tactic, makes Friends of the ones with the best Views... it's like Parties, my Old Nanna said the wisest people get Invited to them all so they don't have to throw them.

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    3. I love that! Throwing parties makes me a nervous wretch.

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  22. What brand of boy shorts did you end up buying?

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    1. 'Fit for me' by Fruit of the Loom. They really are comfortable for sleeping but I'd never wear them as day wear shorts. They truly are underpants with comfortable legs.

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