Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, April 2, 2022

Wind Tunnel Ear and other Entertaining Things

Another one of my doctors bit the dust. You get to a certain age when your list of doctors and specialists seems to grow by the minute and even though I picked mine out by age, hoping they’d be around until after I die, the pandemic came along and upset my carefully packed apple cart. I’ve lost a dentist, a dermatologist, an eye doctor, a foot doctor and now I’ve got a new ear, nose and throat doctor and an audiologist. My bone doctor and internist better stick around another ten years or you’re going to see me pitch a royal fit in this, the dowager era of my life. Look at me, adding a new word to my vocabulary since I’ve started binge watching Downton Abbey. I may not be from an aristocratic family like Mrs. Crawley but the definition of ‘dowager’ in this century has eroded enough to include me. At least on the days when I get all dressed up and pretend in my head that I’m a woman of decorum who could easily stare down a lion and win or better yet be a modern day, slightly less notorious version of Lady Whistledown. Have I mentioned I'm also binge watching Bridgerton?

All winter long I’ve felt like there was a wind tunnel in my ear and I thought for sure I’d blown out an ear drum. Both my ear and my hearing aid are also clicking in and out and since it’s been four years since I’ve had an appointment at the ear, nose and throat clinic, I finally got myself into the office. My ear drum is perfectly fine and the wind tunnel feeling, the doctor thinks, is allergies. If it had been my old doctor telling me this, I might have believed him but it’s hard to trust someone you just met when I've had allergies since birth and don't remember ever this feeling like I want to wear ear muffs 24/7. Dr. Google thinks it could be Pulsatile Tinnitus caused by the TMJ that I’ve had for years on that side of my face. 

After the checkup, the doctor passed me off to his audiologist who gave me a hearing test. I’ve lost some hearing in the lower frequencies but after cleaning my old hearing aids and reprograming them, I can actually hear better. I’ve been missing bits of conversations lately and nothing says OLD faster than a person who mistakes words and can’t process sentences because things like a ‘hat that farts’ doesn’t make as much sense as a ‘cat that farts.’ I misheard 20% of the words on the test.

My old hearing aids are eight years old and in addition to wind tunnel weirdness going on in my head, one of my hearing aids was clicking on and off when the audiologist tested it but rather than send it back to the factory for repairs I decided to buy a new set. I’m just getting an entry level set for $2,800 which comes with a four years worth of insurance, cleanings and checkups and free batteries. I have a $2,400 income tax refund due any day so it was an easy decision money wise. The money won’t be in my account long enough to miss it when its gone. I didn’t want rechargeable aids because I already have too many devices to plug at night. I asked the audiologist if the battery hearing aids are heading the way of the buggy whip and will I have trouble getting batteries in the future. He said about 40% of people still buy them because they are campers or hikers or they travel a lot or they are like me, a person who wears one of mine to bed at night so I don’t have to have my TV on so loud it disturbs the neighbors.

We had some excitement at dinner this week. The last day of the month brings a lot of people down to the restaurant for dinner because some people have a hard time using up all their food allowance and they want to spend some before they loss it. They’ll buy several dinners to take back to their apartments to freeze or they load up on pop or ice cream bars. Me, I keep a pretty close watch on my food allowance and budget myself so I’m don’t go over or under more than a dollar or two.

Anyway, while a bigger crowd than usual was gathered for dinner we experienced a surprise flash mob put on by our line dancing class. These 10-12 ladies have been meeting three days a week for a couple of months now. I should have signed up for that class, I’ve sat and watched them a few times. In the beginning I might have had a chance of keeping up with them and while I wouldn't have wanted to dance in public like that, they put on a good show and we all had fun watching. If anyone is bored living in this continuum care complex it's their own fault, and I suspect that's true of all the CCCs now. They're a lot of competition out there for the Baby Boomers' dollars. And so dear readers, as Mrs. Whistledown would end her scandal sheet, I leave you to wonder what my next blog post will bring.  ©

41 comments:

  1. Oh gosh. I've had two doctors RETIRE but only lost a CPA (who died at his desk working on MY return). How an we even find people who take Medicare patients these days?

    Allergies here are HORRIBLE this year. I've only had seasonal allergies for a few years but man I hate waking up with a headache and runny nose.

    After allergy season dies down, I need to get my hearing checked also! THANKS for blogging!

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    1. That must have awful having a CPA die literal while working on your stuff. My dad once had a doctor have a heart attack while Dad was on his table and the doctor fell on top of him. Shook dad up and my mom and me who saw the EMTs go into the office, thinking it was for my dad.

      Everyone here is complaining about allergies, and blaming it on the new building.

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  2. Did all those docs retire or die? Or a combo? It's very difficult to find new medical providers, that's for sure. I enjoyed "Downton Abbey" but am not sure what I think of "Bridgerton." I watched all of Season 1 (oh, my, very risque) and have watched the first episode of Season 2. It's OK, but not drawing me in so far.

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    1. Two of them had medical issues that made them not want to be exposed to Covid but they took an early retirement because of Covid. I thought I'd get another five years out of them all. The worst part was not getting to say goodbye to my dentist and eye doctor.

      Bridgton is more campy or silly---not quite the right word---but I like them both for different reasons. Downton Abbey more, of course, because the acting, scripts and costumes are better.

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  3. Your illustration started my day with a smile. And to have a dance presentation sounds great. I would be tempted to join them but it might take some energy to get in shape for it. Ha!

    I LOVE Downton Abbey and have considered rewatching the whole thing again, but there are so many thing to watch. I'm binging Bridgerton, too, and I think you have captured the voice of Mrs. Whistledown. :-) I'm halfway through it and doling it out like caramels to make it last a bit.

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    1. I can see why you'd want to binge Downton Abbey again. I'm in the last season and I don't want it to end. I've even been combing the fan sites for spoilers. What amuses me is how many women in my book club love Downton Abbey but think reading romance books is beneath them---my words, not theirs. Downton Abbey is every much like every Victorian Romance novel got me interested in reading back in the '80s.

      I was mad when I got to the end of the third season of Briderton. I want more!

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  4. I just spent a few minutes counting my blessings. I have an eye doctor that I see twice a year, just to keep track of my glaucoma, and I finally got myself a GP. I've seen her three times in the past three years. Oh -- and there the dermatologist who checks out my sun damage once a year, more or less. I have had the experience of my original eye doc retiring, and that was a shock. I'd known it would happen, but I'd been with him for about 25 years or so, and really liked him. At least I think I've got a good chance of outliving the young replacement I ended up with!

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    1. I remember my mom going through the same thing...having to get younger replacements for doctors. It's another one of those markers along our timelines.

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  5. So the woosh miht be allergies? I might go with that. I have periodic ear issues. My next appointment is in six months and they want me to do a hearing test then. As he says, "You don't hear what you don't hear." About the only person to whom I always say "What?" is Rick -- and I think he mumbles (his kids have said the same). But I do have the TV louder than I sometimes wonder if I should. I have a new guy for ears but I like him so far, so we'll see. I hope you're all straightened out soon. The hearing aid thing sounds interesting.

    Love the flash mom concept. I've never seen one!

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    1. In addition to the woosh/wind sound, I sometimes hear my heart beat in my ear which is annoying but common, I guess. Certain people are harder to hear than others but if Rick mumbles and you spend so much time with him, hearing aids would improve the quality of your time together.

      That was my first experience with a flash mob and I've always wanted to see one. The Life Enrichment director is trying to talk them in to doing one at our sister campus.

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    2. I hear that sometimes. It used to freak me out. I'm glad it's common.

      I'll be glad to have the hearing test -- not urgent, but it will be interesting to know!

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  6. I have had hearing aids for quite a while and think that I should get new ones. I would like the rechargeable ones so I don't have all of those batteries to bring to the hazardous waste collection site in town. I have held off because hearing aids are so expensive but you are right about being able to hear properly so one can enjoy the conversations. I was hoping that Medicare might start covering them but I shouldn't keep waiting on that...

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    1. Hearing aid batteries no longer have to go to hazardous waste because they no longer contain mercury. That was a hard transition for me to make to just throw them in the trash. That's what I was told twice when I went to our counties' main recycling and hazardous waste center with a bag of batteries. They wouldn't even accept them.

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  7. Your CCC sounds like summer camp with so many activities to choose from. I'm watching the last season of Downton Abbey. I've enjoyed it immensely. It's interesting to see the English influence that penetrated our lives half a century later even though we lived quite a different lifestyle from British aristocracy. It's a challenge to keep up with health care providers. Certainly managing our health is one of the most important things we can do.

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    1. Me too. I never really knew much about how the British Monarchy broke up.

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  8. I enrolled in my first cardio-dance class, a Latin-based one, about six months after my first brain surgery. I had just realized that I could walk without a cane, but I sure couldn't do dance steps without holding on to something. It was fortunate that the classes were held in a historic building with columns running down the middle of the room we used. I held onto a column most of the first couple of classes. I did catch up, and classmates started telling people who were new to the class to stand behind me and follow me, because I knew all the steps. You can do it, too, but it's not one of the necessities of life if you just don't want to, is it? That's one of the joys of our age. We can choose. Congrats on your new hearing aids. I got a replacement set about a year ago when one of mine stopped working and couldn't be repaired. I was amazed at the differences since my previous four-year-old ones. I was beginning to have trouble calling doctor's offices and would often have to hand the phone off to my husband to finish making an appointment for the ones that don't allow setting your appointment online.

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    1. My audiologist says there's been a great improvement in technology, even for the entry level aids from my old pair so I'm looking forward to getting them.

      I'm sure I can learn the steps, I'm not sure if it would be good for my two fake knees. The last time I took a class that involve a lot of side stepping, etc. I damaged one of them and my bone doctor told me not to do that kind of exercise unless I'm in a pool.

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    2. Yes, I forgot about that aspect. There is a lot of sidestepping. We were advised to buy dancing tennis, too, because they have a "spin" spot that allows you to do some of those steps without tearing stuff up in your knees. I've been fortunate in that my auto-immune diseases seem to have forgotten that I have knees they can also attack, knock on wood.

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    3. These ladies cut the tops off a pair of old socks and wear them over their shoes to help them slide. I'd fall and break something I think.

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  9. I forgot to mention the whooshing sounds when I posted earlier. Sometimes that can be a vascular problem caused by blood moving turbulently through a partially occluded blood vessel. Perhaps mention it to your cardiologist, if you have one, the next time you see her or him, or your PCP.

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    1. Thanks! I'm seeing my internist next week for my yearly check up and I'll ask him about my ear. I don't have a cardiologist. Yet, thankfully.

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  10. It really is difficult to replace our familiar, trusted docs! Since our move, I've been struggling to find a dentist I like. We did find a nice general practitioner for the routine stuff. I'd drive across the country to keep my oncologist, though. I told him he is not allowed to retire or die before me. Jean, I had some issues with strange sounds and hearing my heartbeat in my right ear. I ordered some of those reheatable "rice" bags that go in the microwave. My favorite is a long one that can wrap around my neck, right up the ear. It has helped me a lot. Those bags are also great to have on hand for other injuries (low bag, knees, etc). I just smiled when I read about the flash mob. You're in a great place.

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    1. I have some of those reheatable rice bags. I use them on my feet all the time. Thank you for telling me what helps you! I keep thinking of Van Gogh cutting off his ear. I'm not THAT annoyed by the wind and heartbeat in my ear but I can see how it could drive you nuts if it gets worse.

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  11. I've had to get new doctors frequently, and it's not because they've aged out. In some cases, it's because they left practice or because they moved. In another case, I simply could not handle the office staff anymore (twice they left me sitting in the waiting room, completely forgotten)! If my beloved neurologist ever leaves me, I don't know what I'll do.

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    1. That's the way I felt about losing my eye doctor. We had such a long history together. I would have followed him to another city, I think.

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  12. OMG, Jean!!!! I love the image of you as your campus’s Lady Whistledown. If you are enjoying Downton Abbey, you will probably also love The Gilded Age…by the same people. It’s Downton Abbey all over again, but New York society at the time of the robber barons instead of English gentry.

    Deb

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    1. That does sound like it's right up my alley. I'll probably finish up with Downton Abbey next week and I'll see if I can find Gilded Age. Thank you!

      Sometimes I do feel like Pen blending in with the wallpaper here when the people around me are talking about the stuff they do. LOL

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  13. You are right, no one has the right to say they are bored at that place. There is an activity for any interest. If I could breathe, I'd have been in that line of dancers.
    Sorry you have had such a turnover of doctors. So far, knock on wood, mine are all still functioning. The thought of breaking in a new one is not appealing.
    I do have tinnitus and can mostly ignore it till someone mentions it or I read the word. Gee thanks, now my right ear is screaming:))

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    1. A few people did get up from their dinner and join the dancers. You would have been welcomed.

      I've heard you can get used to tinnitus. Sorry I reminded you to liston to yours.

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  14. I would definitely sign up for the line dancing. I would hate to think of performing in public, but it would be great exercise and it wouldn't hurt to look foolish every once in a while if I had to perform.

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    1. They didn't plan on preforming when they started out. The Life Enrichment director came up with the idea. I've watched the class a couple of times and hey sure get a good work out.

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  15. Thank you for the smile, Lady Dowager.

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  16. Our doctors age just like us who would have thought..............lol
    My hearing aids are many years old but need to last longer till I reach pension age and can get new ones.

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  17. Yikes, Hearing Aids are spendy! Glad the CCC is finding Fun ways to keep everyone Entertained and not Isolating. Pandemic winding down some has made it so I venture out more than we have in 2.5 Years, it feels quite liberating. I do hate finding new Docs, must find a new Primary, perhaps even a Civilian one since the Base Clinic is rotating them in and out so often now there is absolutely no continuity. Except for Diabetic Specialist tho', I rarely see any other Docs for anything anymore, and she's a good one I don't mind seeing every 3-6 Months.

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    1. There are people here who have paid over $8,000 for a set of hearing aids. They will do everything but fry eggs. Blue tooth, rechargeble, the ability to filter out background noises in a restaurant are some of the features the better ones have. I know a lady here who just got a pricy pair and she says she still can't hear.

      Your experiences with the Base Clinic sounds like a nightmare.

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  18. Blimey, the attrition rate of your medics is scary (though glad to see it's not all Covid) To lose one doctor may be regarded as a misfortune but to lose two... Hope the new hearing aids work well

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    1. Covid scared the ones close to retirement to leave early but I'm glad they didn't get it too.

      Me too on the hearing aids. That's a lot of money to spend if they don't help. Cost wise it wouldn't have many any sense to send one one in for repairs when they are so old to begin with.

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  19. You've lost a surprising number of doctors. My doctor recently retired to take care of her mother. One is bad enough.

    I love flash mobs and also dance classes.

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    1. I'd never seen a flash mob in person before and I always thought it would be cool. Unfortunately, I found out it was going to happen a couple of days before it did.

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