Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, December 24, 2022

Wind-up to a White Christmas!


It’s
Thursday night as I write this. The winter blizzard that as been crossing the country finally hit my side of Michigan. We’re supposed to get a sizable amount of snow dumped on us before the storm leaves our area on Saturday night. Temperatures are in the teens and the winds coming later tonight are predicted to cause whiteouts with snow blowing sideways and drifting on all the north/south roads. We were supposed to have a choir entertain us tonight but that got canceled and judging by the rolling message at the bottom of my TV screen just about everything going on in town got canceled for tonight and tomorrow.

Our activities director let us know our Christmas party entertainment for Saturday night, however, won’t get canceled because the one man band lives here on campus. And I’ve met the guy! He’s a new resident here, and he’s the husband to the woman with dementia who I wrote about a few posts ago while attending a meeting about dementia support. I found a video of him playing at a polka festival last summer. His introduction promo claims he’s “shared a stage with the Four Tops, The Coasters and many other popular artists.” I can’t wrap my head around that kind of music at a Christmas party but I’m bidding his accordion can play just about anything. I wish I could find a way to bring my brother over from the next building for the show. He used to play the accordion.

I’m worn out already. I’m not cut out for all the socializing this holiday bought with it and I’ve still got the holiday buffet and the above mentioned entertainment to go to here and a family party off campus at my great-nephew’s house on Christmas Day. This past week-end we had a sing-along (great fun and I'm surprised I knew most of the words to Christmas songs I rarely listen to). 

Another afternoon I took part in a gingerbread cookie decorating class. For the artist I wish I were, cookie painting was frustrating! I made eight cookies but I only liked the way two of them turned out meanwhile others in the room made such cute cookies that I had cookie envy. Can you believe it, I’ve never done Christmas cookie decorating or cookie exchanges since I was a kid helping my mom. I was a babe in the woods surrounded by super moms and grandmothers with tons of experience. 

Within two days I’d eaten the ugly cookies I made and I intend to take the good ones down to my brothers this afternoon, but I’m wavering on that idea. I’m worried his grandson’s wife will have sent him some in the mail. She’s been posting photos of the ones she’s baked and decorating and they look so professional. Mine by comparison look like a child did them. Ya, I’m that petty competitive.

My great-niece-in-law's cookies

My sad attempt at Christmas cookies

Another morning I spent writing my annual Christmas letter but when I went to print them, my printer wouldn’t work so I ended spending the afternoon hand addressing envelopes and writing notes in cards. My printer picked that time to tell me the ink pads have reached the end of their life. When it tells you stuff liked that it doesn’t give you a warning, it just quits working. I had just installed $80 worth of ink cartridges I can't return, so I was more than upset.

I found directions online for how you change the pads and it's a job I won’t tackle and the Epson website lists a place that is out of business as their authorized service center here in town. I read half an evening about the printer problem I learned there is a way to reset your printed page counter to ‘trick’ your printer into thinking you haven’t actually printed as many pages as you have and that gets you another 1,500 pages out of the black ink pad but it takes a download and a one time code from the Epson company which after talking to them for a half hour they wouldn't give me because the printer is out of warranty. A real catch 22-22. There's a black market download you can buy for $8 but I'm leery about putting something on my computer from an unknown source.

Another Christmas related thing I’ve been doing was just as frustrating as the two things up above…making stuff to past around at the parties. As I mentioned in another post I wanted to use up the pretzels I had left over from making the gingerbread house so I planned to dip the small ones in chocolate and cover the with the green sprinkles that came with the gingerbread house kit and arrangement them in a wreath shape (like the one pictured above) but do you think I could find those packet of sprinkles? No, I couldn’t and I turned this apartment upside down looking for them. I ended up rolling them in pecans instead. After finishing up that job, I grabbed a plastic bag out of my storage drawer to use for trash and there in the bottom of the bag were the sprinkles. Jeez!

On Christmas day---unless Covid or the weather cancels out the plans---my nephew is picking my brother and me up to spend the day at my brother’s grandson’s house. The people and the kids who will be at the party are all super nice and I’m looking forward to that part but the house we’re going to has bathrooms that are no where near old people friendly. The guest bathroom was built kid-friendly and the toilet is literally a child’s size and there is nothing to grab on to to help you get up. The setup in the master bath isn't much better so I learned the only way to do parties there is to not drink anything the day before or day of the event.

Hope your windup to Christmas as been less frustrating than mine! Then again, maybe being frustrated and crazy busy is part of the holiday fun. ©

51 comments:

  1. I like low key Christmases so you have my condolences. I know what you mean about printers going out when you have money invested in the cartridges. 😟 Good luck! And I hope you end up enjoying Christmas. ❤️

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    1. I'm more concerned with the weather at this point as half the country is.

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  2. Printers are the absolute pits! My biggest problem is keeping mine online. It's a Canon TS8222 and it does fantastic on ink usage (uses very little and has great color), but the WiFi bit sucks~! LOL All we've got out of that huge storm is some fog/cloud cover. Not bad...

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    1. Fog is not bad if you don't have to drive in it.

      My printer has been relatively trouble free once I learned how to reinstall the drivers from time to time so I hate to see this one go. And it really sucks that have so much money wasted in ink cartiridges!

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    2. Can you buy a new one that uses the same cartridges??

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    3. That was a good idea but I just googled the model and found lots of rebuilt used ones but no new ones. I'm guessing they are the ones the company accepts back if they are under warranty, then they change the pads, put the code in to reset the counters and sell as rebuilt. It was a model being discounted when I bought it five years ago so I'm not surprised I can't buy a new one.

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  3. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. I bet the lady who made those picture perfect cookies probably wouldn't even know how to write and post a thoughtful, interesting and sometimes humorous blog post twice a week as you do. Don't be intimidated!

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    1. She not only bakes great cookies and cakes the clothes she sews for her young daughters blows me away. She's very creative. Anything to do with cooking and baking are my weaknesses. I just don't have the practice most people my age have.

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    2. I wonder if daughter appreciates her mom's skill and creativity. My mother sewed me (in 20/20 hindsight) wonderful creative clothing. Unappreciative kid that I was, I preferred the store bought clothes handed down from my cousin. Fitting in with the other kids was more important.

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    3. The little girl she sews for isn't even in school yet but she sews to order for other moms with little girls. The fabrics she pairs up are really creative and just pop. I heard she get the fabrics free from pattern companies for the price of posting lots of photos of the finished dresses online. Not sure if it' true but I do know her home sewing is better than most store bought.

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  4. Aww, your cookies aren't ugly, in fact I think they are cute. Your nieces look store bought. Besides after two bites, they all look the same. Taste is what counts.
    Glad you have a nice family Christmas planned. Know what you mean about those toilets though. They are too low and nothing to pull yourself up with.
    Don't get dehydrated trying to avoid them though:)

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    1. I know! It's not good too go without water for a day or two.

      I've never tasted my niece-in-laws cookies but sure does make a lot of them for her kids' classes.

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  5. We got hit by the winter storm. The winds were just awful. Thank goodness this morning we woke to calm, but still very cold temps. We had windchill of -30 and that's too darned cold for man or beast!

    Ah printers. They're great until they refuse to work. Mine is on the blink, too. I thought I'd tell my kids they have to fix it tomorrow, or nobody gets to eat Christmas dinner. I suppose holding them hostage on Christmas isn't right, tho.

    Bathrooms--now there's a blog topic for you. I remember when my biggest concern was making ours attractive and keeping them clean. At this stage of life, give me grab bars, in-floor heat, and a comfort stool. You get older and suddenly you know what really matters.

    I enjoy reading your blogs so much, and appreciate the hard work you put into them. Merry Christmas, Jean, and a happy and healthy (esp healing for your leg) New Year!!

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    1. It's it funny how when we're young we care if the hand towels in the bathroom is hanging right and the soap dish is dry when company comes. But at this stage of the game grab bars are the "fashion statement" I want to see.

      I love that you've got kids you can hold hostage until your printer is working again. They would probably have no fear of downloading a black market fix while I envision it ruining my computer or causing your credit card ifn to get stolen.

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    2. Our daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren and two granddaughters' boyfriends are coming the day after Christmas in the afternoon to celebrate Christmas and my birthday, a day late. Our daughters have already asked for and been provided a work list. (Replace all fire alarms because they all went off at once the other night when one was breached by a leak in a failing hot water heater. They're in the attic in Texas houses so flood the ceiling when they leak. Good design, right?) Best gift they could give us. We also have food and games, and will have lots of fun. I hope you have a great Christmas, Jean, with your family and with your CCC family, too.

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    3. I did it again: I didn't realize that last comment about our daughters asking for a work list came through as Anonymous. I've edited my profile again.

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  6. I so look forward to your posts and enjoyed your musings today. I always thought the “mistake” cookies were the best because you got to eat them right away lol. I bet your brother would love those cookies and it would lead to reminiscing about childhood Christmas times. Merry Christmas Eve. Juhli

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    1. I did wonder if I would post a essay that was on the negative side was a good idea just before the holiday but I figured I can't be the only one. So thanks for that first sentence.

      My brother did enjoy the cookies. I only took the two because they don't want a lot of holiday foods in their rooms because dementia patientstend to eat themselves sick and then the staff has to deal with that. He ate them and said they were good.

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  7. My mom was a wonderful baker of delicious pastries. She once took a class to learn cake decorating but dropped out because the icing required for decorating isn't delicious, and the icing she made wouldn't work for decorating. So yours probably taste better, tho hers are beautiful. As for the toilet situation, it reminds me of Grace and Frankie in later seasons, when Jane Fonda as Grace gets stuck on a toilet (and a couch, too). They made it hilarious and makes us all feel that it's so much more normal than we think. I hope you can spend Christmas Day with your family without the storm interfering (my temp is up to 3 degrees today! Yay)
    Nina

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    1. She uses Royal Frosting for her cookies and I have not tasted them or it. I do know the cookies I made, even the ugly ones tasted great.

      I've love to have seen that episode of Grace and Frankie.

      My nephew who is picking my brother and I up assures us had the weather won't matter, he's got four wheel drive and lots of lights on his truck. He used to plow snow and i know he's a good driver in winter weather but it's the other drivers on the road I'm worried about. Hopefully the storm will be winding down by Christmas morning and the road crews can do their magic.

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    2. Grace and Frankie come up with an idea for a hydraulic toilet that stands you up after you've gone and they name it the "Rise Up," and go on the Shark Tank show to ask for funding for it. Seeing Fonda sitting on the toilet, with her pants down around her ankles while she tries to tie a rope around a heavy statue in her expensive bathroom to help her get up was refreshing. She certainly isn't afraid to look vulnerable and unglamorous.

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    3. Ohmygod I'm going to have to find that episode. I love Shark Tank and idea of a Rise Up toilet is priceless. Thanks for the laugh of the day.

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  8. January will seem quiet and restful after all of the Holiday happenings! Glad you are enjoying yourself, tho.
    You should mention about the bathroom to your brother's grandson. They could have temporary grab bars or a walker handy to use when older people are visiting. They probably don't realize it is difficult for you.
    Hope your holidays are Happy! Merry Christmas!

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    1. You know that's not a bad idea to suggest to them if I can do it in a joking but serious manner. I'm not the only old person who goes to their house and has mentioned it to me. There will be at least 4 of us over 80 at this party. If I was a frequent visitor I would jokingly bring my own temporary grab bar. Thank you!

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  9. Your Great Niece could be a professional Cookie Decorator, they are intimidating looking Cookies. Ah the overachiever Moms and Grammas always give me Pause too my Friend, I'm not that competitive when I know my skillset is just absent in doing something. *LOL* Your activity Calendar is busy even when it's not the Holidays, but it's nice to only do what you feel like and opt out of the rest. Especially during a White Out, that can be handy to have so much going on at the Campus that doesn't require commuting.

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    1. These were only one of many photos of perfect cookie she's made and her cakes and cupcakes, too are wonderful creations. She's a stay-at-home mom who is busy with three young ones and flock of chickens. I like to imagine if I'd ever been a stay-at-home mom I would have been an overachiever, too.

      Next year I will skip the cookie painting class as it was too embarrassing! LoL

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  10. I got so fed up with the printer ink cartridge fiascos I have put up with over the years that I bought a laser printer after I moved to the island. It only does black ink but that is fine with me! Your cookies look good to me and I bet they taste great too. No one can accuse you of passing off store-bought as homemade (at least that's what I tell myself when things turn out less than perfect 😉). Have a happy Christmas, Jean 💕

    Deb

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    1. I really don't need colors either. I need to do some research on lasers. I don't know much about them. Thanks for the tip. Ink cartridges are too expensive and the darn machine won't let you print if you leave one out or empty....got to have them all to print black.

      Those cookies did taste good. The women who made them for us to decorate has a good recipe.

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    2. I was used to laser printers from my working days. The cartridge lasts and lasts (I don't have to worry about them drying out from infrequent use) and even when they say they are "low", take them out, give them a good shake, and plop them back in again and they are good to go for quite a few more print jobs.

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    3. I just read an article titled inkjet printers vs laser printers and that plus you have me sold.

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  11. You know what? I'd much rather eat your cookies than those fancy ones you showed. The cookie-to-frosting ratio is important when it comes to cookies, and those fancy ones have entirely too much frosting. There's a shop here in town that sells such things, and I thought I'd give them one more try, but they just weren't to my taste. I like frosting to add just a little sweetness, and I don't care if it's not photogenic!

    My Kansas/Missouri relatives are mostly huddled up, and the videos I've seen of the highways in Iowa and southern Minnesota (1) reminded me of my years there, and (2) made me glad I'm not there today. I did get brought up short while talking with a cousin in Kansas. I said something about not having snow tires for driving in those conditions, and she informed me that snow tires no longer are a thing. I knew that studded tires are no longer in favor -- illegal, as a matter of fact -- but I didn't realize that "all season radials" have replaced snow tires. Live and learn! Enjoy your Christmas gathering; I hope the family event's not cancelled because of weather.

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    1. I know what you mean about cookies (and cakes) made for looks more than taste. Some of the prettiest cookies sent here by various vendors are so bland it's a waste of calories to eat them.

      After years of swapping winter and summer tires it is hard to get used to all season tires. Some people still do it though especially businesses and people with trucks on the road all winter long.

      Have a nice holiday!

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  12. I love your cookies. They make me smile. We were going to have a low key Christmas but yesterday bought a new smart TV for the MB as the old one wasn't smart. We've spent the last 4 hours setting it up and cannot find our wifi password. Do you think husband would call at&t? Oh no. It's gonna be a long two days here.

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    1. Those smart TV are really smart but they don't know your password. lol Once you get it going remember, if it acts screwy aka your husband screws it up, just unplug it for a few miniatures. It's like a miracle fixer. Can't you get your password from you computer by trying to sign in on your account? Assuming AT&T bundles your services.

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  13. I'm with everyone else who prefers the 'messier' decorated cookies. I'm not much for thick frosting on a cookie. That's for cakes!

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    1. The teacher kept saying "You are painting with frosting not decorating. You don't need much." And that's what I was trying to do until i looked around and saw everyone laying it on thick and full of texture.

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  14. Merry Christmas! I agree that taste is what matters with food. Oregon was hit on Thursday with 2 inches of snow that froze. Kids flight home from Disneyland on Friday was CANCELLED! No replacements available until Monday. So they are driving home. SO MUCH TRAFFIC! They are hoping to arrive home at 9pm Sat night. You really have been peoply this month!

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    1. I would not want to be traveling this weekend for anything but I will probably be doing it tomorrow, even though I'd rather now. Hope your kids make it home on safe and sound.

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  15. Merry Xmas and Happy New Year to you, and all your readers!

    (Aren't you glad that you're here rather than staying alone at your earlier home? It was a very wise decision and move). ~ Libby

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    1. Merry Christmas right back at you, Libby.

      You'd better believe I'm glad I'm not in my other house where right now I'd bee worried about a power outrage and getting snowed in. A power outrage here would just mean camping out in the areas of the building where they have generator power and getting snowed in would mean it's someone else's problem to figure out out to get us up and running again. But the biggest bonus is seeing members of my family more often.

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  16. Merry Christmas!. Your cookies look good to me. The others were done with royal icing and I bet you didn't use that in your class. So don't blame yourself!!

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    1. No, we didn't and I later asked my niece the secret to here. You guessed it, royal icing. I need to try that before the next gingerbread house contest. Merry Christmas to you and Rick!

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  17. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and stayed warm. I was never one for making fussy cookies like that--too much work to then be eaten. They are lovely, though.

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    1. I had a crazy Christmas. I've decided I don't really like Christmas cookies all that much to eat. Rather have plain old peanut butter.

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    1. Well...it was different and my next post will be all about it.

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  19. I think your cookies look amazing! On a sad note (not sure if you are aware), according to the comments section in her blog, Judy Miller recently passed away. She surely will be missed. Nancy

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    1. Thank you.

      The Awkward Widow (B.J.) sent me a copy of Judy's obituary. Otherwise I would not have known. Always sad to lose a blogging friend but at least in her case it wasn't a ghosting.

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  20. I swear that Target bought every single toilet in a Kindergarten toilet sale. They are so short! I love seeing and hearing about your preparations. Your decorated cookies look much better than mine, if that's any consolation but yes, those others you showed are beyond profesional! I'm glad you and your brother were with family. I hope the Christmas party entertainment was fun. Happy In-Between Week!

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    1. Hope you get rested up from all your business over Christmas. I'm just glad mine is over. My post is all about the party I went to.

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