Monday: I got an echo-cardiogram and before I got home the raw data was posted on my patient portal with a caveat tacked on that it hadn’t been read by a doctor yet. If you’re like me you’re guessing that I then consulted Dr. Google with search terms like “moderate aortic insufficiency present” and “pulmonic valve insufficiency present.” I tried not to get too lost in the weeds until my doctor contacts me, which my portal says could take 10-15 days. I’m six days out from the test now but I’d put money down on him claiming this test proves the cause of my one leg swelling up off and on since July Fourth among other quirky stuff going with my health.
While I was at the hospital for the test I dropped off a couple of bags of clothing for my brother who just had a partial hip replacement the night before. He has since been moved to a rehab hospital in another town and according to my nieces he is doing well physically and is almost back to his baseline mentallys. The rehab hospital is too far away for me to drive so I won’t see him for long while. The plan is for him to return to the Memory Care building next door from me but in the back of my mind is the unsettling thought that it won’t happen, that I will never see him again. But I will not borrow trouble from the future. Yes, that’s my current mantra. Live in the moment. Take it one day at a time. All of those sayings are worth planting deep in my fertile brain lest the negative thoughts take over and I go into a funk just in time for the holidays.
Tuesday: I got a pedicure and afterward I called the foot doctor to take care of what I self-diagnosed as an ingrown toe nail on my big toe. I’ve never had one before but my toe was red and hot and hurt like the devil himself was sucking on it. Fortunately the doctor keeps a crack-of-dawn appointment open for situations like mine and I was able to get in on Friday. She dug out a large chuck of nail that was over-grown with skin. And now I understand why pulling out finger and toe nails is the preferred torture treatment of cartels and prison camp interrogators. I have to soak my toe in Epsom salts for two weeks and put a prescription medication made for ear infections on it---yes, you read that right. I meant to type “ear.” If the redness and soreness isn’t gone by then the foot doctor will have to cut the entire side of the nail out. The office she’s in has 8-10 other foot doctors and they have their own therapeutic pedicures on staff and I’m really happy I have a new place to go where I know I won’t pick up an infection or an ingrown toenail and I can make the technician understand that I don’t want the $10 coat of whatever it is those oriental nail spas want to (over) sell me.
The afternoon of the pedicure I had a dentist appointment to replace two crowns---step one of two. I’d been putting these off for a year because I didn't trust the dentist who claimed I had a cavity he couldn’t get at any other way until another dentist came up with the same claim. The caps were over twenty years old and when I went to their business office to pay for the new crowns the estimated cost had dropped over $600! I couldn’t have been happier. Especially since that same day we got notices that our service fees here where I live is going up $135 starting in January. Right now I’m paying $2,215 a month. When I moved in two years ago it was $1,900. I’m seriously starting to worry about which one will run out first---my life or my money. If it’s my money that runs out first, the Continuum Care Complex is contractually obligated not to kick me to the curb but they do have the right to downsize me to a single room with a half bath. What was that mantra I mentioned earlier? Don’t borrow trouble from the future. Live in the moment. Take it one day at a time. Easier said than done when I feel guilty about spending money on wants and not needs. (See below example.)
Wednesday: This is always my favorite day of the week. I go to lunch at 11:30 and then to a lecture followed by two hours of mahjong. This week the lecturer had a clever presentation of the history of a Michigan Regiment in the Civil War. The guy was in uniform and kept in character of a soldier who told about his life and the battles he’d been in and he shared the letter he was writing back home to his wife and hers to him. Two of the battles had been the same battles my Civil War ancestor had fought in. For an entire hour he kept us spell-bound with his one man 'play'.
Thursday: I got a haircut in a fancy-ass part of town I don’t like going to. I followed my hairdresser over to that shop when she quit a place that was so close I could practically walked to it. I hate looking for new stylists and I don’t look forward to winter driving to a place where I feel like I need to wear my Sunday best just to walk in the door. But that’s a problem for the future and I’m not supposed to look that far ahead. Afterward I went to a fancy-ass candy store that carries all kinds of old-fashioned candy and I spent $35 I didn't need to spend. They are holding another gingerbread house contest here at the CCC and this year I’m determined to move up from third place. (The kitchen staff and chefs took first place and a lot of us think they had an unfair advantage so in my head I came in second place. Nothing competitive about me.)
Friday: I downloaded the Kindle audible of The Knight in Shinning Armor by Jude Deveraux and I spent the afternoon knitting and listening. Knitting and listening and I didn't feel but a tiny bit guilty for wasting the time. Back in my 40’s I fell madly in love with historical romance books and Deveraux was one of my favorite authors. The year this book came out on cassette tape I was plowing snow for my husband’s business. I bought a copy and listened to it every season for 11 years. When I downsized to move here I gave away all my books on tape except for this book. I still have the hardcover as well. It’s consisted a classic in the genre and there is something comforting when you’ve had a crazy week to know a happy ending is coming.
Until next Wednesday. ©
Fingers crossed for you! Our rent, and a lot of other things, has gone up a lot the past couple of years. And being about 84 and 88 means anything can happen any time. Your mantra is the only sane course. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Thanks so much for posting. Again, fingers crossed! ❤️
ReplyDeleteMine too. The way rents and food is going up a lot of people will be in trouble if it doesn't level off soon.
Delete10pm on Weds evening is my highlight of the week! A new post from you!! Hard for me to believe it's been ten years since we first e-met. I love your posts and your insights into people, as well as yourself. I'll be emailing you soon!
ReplyDeleteI wish you hadn't stopped blogging, but I do understand, though, how much your life has evolved now that you live with your daughter and grand sons.
DeleteYou have been very busy! I often think if it weren't for my dental and doctor appointments, I wouldn't have much to do. I'm glad you were able to get an appointment with the podiatrist--ingrown toenails can be awfully painful. And a savings of $600 on your crowns? Happy dance (when your toe heals). My husband and I had an expensive dental year in 2023. However, when I thought about the prices, I realized we spent about $1000 per crown and $5000 for my implant. That's what we've paid for crowns for quite a while. If the work is good and they last, I'm okay with that. I hope your brother recovers well and gets to come back to Memory Care. It truly is day-by-day for all of us, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Jean! Take care of yourself.
Ya, when I think about all long my crowns were in there I decided they didn't owe me anything and I'll be glad to get rid of the black ridge that came with those older crowns. Got temporaries now and will go back for the permanent ones just before Christmas. You're right about doctors appointments being the main destination of most seniors. Although there are a few people living here who go out shopping nearly every day!
DeleteFrom all reports my brother is doing very well and likes it there. I'm selfishly worried they will find a way to keep him there and not bring him back.
Wow. You did have a busy week. I'd like to try an audio book again. I read Lovely Bones and got it in audio form so we could listen to it on a road trip. The person reading it put us to sleep. It made a good book boring. We neither finished it or bought another again! I think it may make a big difference on the person reading the book out loud, but how do you know? Happy Thanksgiving Jean.
ReplyDeleteYou can sample audio books on Amazon. Some readers are better than others. Books that put you to sleep are great at bedtime. I put my Kindle under my pillow and set the sleep timer and I rarely am awake to reset it again.
DeleteYou've had a hard year but with lots to be Thankful for with Rick's recovery and your eye. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.
I like your mantra and will have to do a better job of not worrying about the future. I am always wondering if my retirement "pile of money" will last as long as me. :)
ReplyDeleteYou sure have been busy and I am glad you are able to take time for the things you enjoy to do.
Happy Thanksgiving to you!
That mantra is easier said than done but isn't that why we have them in the first place----to remind us to change our thinking pattern to improve our state of mind?
DeleteHope your thanksgiving is a good one.
I don't know where this is all going as far as the prices of everything. It is frightening. I always thought that we would be OK in retirement with our finances but now I am not so sure. I do like your saying of "don't borrow trouble from the future".....that makes sense. Now if I can only adhere to it.....Roberta
ReplyDeleteI feel so badly for people who don't have health insurance. If not for that, I would have burned through a ton of money this year. It is frightening how fast prices are going up. Adhering to a mantra is the hard part. Coming up with them is not. LOL
DeleteIt's fascinating to be able to 'follow' ancestors through events like the Civil War. An acquaintance who was a published specialist in that era put together a complete itinerary of my gr-gr-grandfather's regiment from the time he enlisted until he mustered out. He spent most of his time in Texas and Louisiana, which makes it even more interesting. You know how it goes: 'some day' I'm going to put together a series of posts about it all. I've referenced it here and there, but it deserves more. It sure is interesting to ponder the fact that Gramps got to Texas before I did!
ReplyDeleteI'm having to pay even closer attention to finances these days. My rent increase for the next year is $66, which I can cope with, but food prices are absolutely through the roof. I stopped to pick up a pint of blueberries the other day, but that $7.49 price tag (!!!) stopped me cold. The ice cream I like is off the table now since the price has risen to $9.49/half gallon, and produce is crazy. I love bell peppers, but a dollar each? Sheesh.
Anyway: happy Thanksgiving! My will be quiet, but not alone. Best of all, we decided to go with a smoked turkey breast rather than the whole bird-and-stuffing routine. Easy-peasy.
It really is interesting to research our Civil War relatives and it's gotten so much easier to do in the past 10 years or so. I was able to find out mine took a bullet in the head and what mansion-turned hospital in New York where he was treated and for many years I thought he'd committed a crime to put him in Leavenworth. Then more recently I learned that Leavenworth wasn't always a prison for the military and the years my gr-gr-granadfather was there (three times) it a hospital.
DeleteHave a good Thanksgiving. Mine will be quiet as I signed up for the buffet here and will be eating with 10 others that has no where else to go. (I did get invited to my nephew's son's place but I turned it down.)
Wow! You have had a WEEK, that's for sure. The fees keep going up at my sister's place, and the service and food keep going down. Her place is the only game in her tiny town so there is no competition and nowhere else for the residents to go. My other sister and I are topping up her rent money, to keep it affordable for her. Thankfully, she is (finally, and at her daughter's urging) considering moving to the town her daughter lives in where there are multiple options available. It will be more expensive but at least she will be getting value for the money. And she will have her daughter close by instead of 3 hours away.
ReplyDeleteI hope your brother heals well and is back in memory care soon. And that your doctor calls with calming news. I like your term of "borrowing trouble from the future" - I may have to use it on my own family of worriers. I usually tell them "no need to worry about it now - there will be plenty of time to worry when (whatever it is) comes to pass, if indeed it does come to pass".
Deb
The saying is an evolution of Mathew 6:25-32 where Jesus was teaching his disciples to trust that God will meet their needs and they did not need to live their lives worrying. In other words it's been around a long time and is most often used to mean most of the things we worry about never happen so quit worrying to much. Similar to/same as to your saying.
ReplyDeleteBeing closer to family makes a huge difference when you are in your sister's daughter's position. That's why I'm worried my nieces might find it easier for them to have my brother permanently in their neck of the woods.
What a week, I borrow and listen to books from the library first on tape then on cd now it is digital downloads I think audiobooks are amazing. The cost of living is going higher and higher for pretty much every one
ReplyDeleteI've tried borrowing audible books from the library but there seems to be a waiting list for the ones I want which are usually the book for book club.
DeleteI'm a worrier too, and all it really does is keep me anxiety ridden. Still.....it's a way of rehearsing 'What if's', and since I abhor surprises, a form of being ready for a worst case scenario.
ReplyDeleteI still go into shock when I see an occasional grocery item that has gone up close to 100%. And of course the fee increase you were hit with is something we have to tolerate whether our income has enough wiggle room or not.
I'm crossing my fingers your toe heals without further complications. The indignities we endure!! ;>)
My toe is doing pretty good. I can touch it now without pain.
DeleteI'm more careful about wastefulness with food but so far I'm still buying what I want and I'm trying to remember to look for coupons before I go to the store.
I do agree with you about being prepared for the worst. There can be comfort in that if it leads us to prepare for the 'what if's.' I don't like surprises either.
I'm so glad you are still enjoying mahjong! I've now found a small group that I'm comfortable with and we are playing once a week.
ReplyDeleteWhen you say "service fee" of $2215, does that mean in addition to rent? Does service fee cover meals, electricity, water, trash, etc? And how much is rent for a 1-bedroom? I thought one price covered it all in a CCRC. Thanks in advance for any clarification.
Best wishes for a happy Thanksgiving,
Liz B. (your mahjong friend in Texas)
They call it a service fee instead of rent but it's essentially the same thing. It covers everything but electricity which averages another $35. They can't call it rent because you to buy into CCCs. 17% of what we pay monthly goes to future health care and is tax deductible on our federal income taxes. I have 1,000 sq feet with a one bedroom and a small den that some people put have put a pull out couch in. And we get a $320 each month credit for food that we can spend any way we want in the dining room. That used to cover all I wanted but the last 4-5 months I am going over by $20-25 because they menu prices has gone up. Still better than me cooking.
DeleteYou've had a busy week! Those medical printouts can be frightening before the doctor calls with their interpretation. Mine sometimes panic me and the doctor isn't all that worried. Hope that works out for you, too. (I have another round of Holter monitor glued to my sternum coming up just after Christmas...woo hoo.)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I had some of one toenail removed on one foot and it's actually a relief if you tend toward ingrown nails.
Sounds like you had the all medical week. Hope you enjoy Thanksgiving and get some good news! :-)
Yes, those patient portals can be a two edged sword. I am borderline on so many of the tests and always have been between treatment and waiting and I hate that. It makes me worry sometimes that until the lab red tags something that the doctor never reads them.
DeleteMy husband had his big toe nails removed too. Just the thought of it send shivers up my back but I can see why it would be better than having repeated ingrown nails. Mine is doing well now. Still a little tender but at least I can now touch.
Have a good Thanksgiving today! If you see this....
You can still live in the present and plan for the future without being Doom And Gloom. Cutting expenses here and there isn't fun, but it's doable, and I'm sure you've done it before. Having a few meals at home each week seems manageable.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of your brother's troubles and that he's a distance away from you. That can certainly tug at your heart. Hang in there.
I'm only eating one meal a day a day in our restaurant already and I never order a beverage or desert. At home my second meal of the day is either cereal if I'm eating dinner that night or soup or salad at night if I'm eating lunch in the restaurant. But I did come up a with a way to safe for the rest of the year---I'm not donating any money to any cause until 2024 until my bank account comes back up. After the holidays I may get back on eBay and start selling some collectibles again---small things I ran out of time to sell when I was downsizing that should bring in enough to cover inflation.
DeleteMy niece is taking me out to see my brother this weekend, so that makes me happy.
Wow -- that's a chunk of stuff. First, I am hoping that they can get onto your heart tests soon and straighten things out. I suspect you are spot on with thinking that a remedy may well help your fatigue and tiredness. I'm so sorry about your brother and that you can't visit. Perhaps you could find another family member to drive you one day? I hope so. But well done with the crown stuff. Good grief -- it's always something. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to see my brother tomorrow! I'm driving to the family cottage (now owned by my niece) and she's driving me to town where he's in Rehab. She even offered to pick me up but that would be a LOT of driving for her and I can take a rural road all the way to the cottage, easy driving for me if there's now weather issue which, tomorrow, there won't be. I'm getting mixed reports about his progress so I'm anxious to see for myself how he's handling all this.
DeleteYou've been busy in ways that as a younger person I'd scoff at, but now makes perfect sense to me. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." That as one of my mother's sayings, usually followed by a loud sigh.
ReplyDeleteYour mother would have had me scratching my head in confusion half the time. LOL
DeleteI'll be cheering on your gingerbread creation from afar! (Enjoyed last year's version.) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteConsulting Dr. Google is a necessary evil these days, even if my husband insists that waiting is a better option! Ha! I know better!
Hope you have a wonderful visit with your brother.
I just got back from my brother's and it was a good thing my niece drove half the way because it was even farther away than I thought. He looked much better than I expected and I was happy I got to go.
DeleteI can't wait to start my house. Now that I've got my blog photo loading problem worked out---knock on wood---I'm hoping to show the building process.
Whew I'm tired just reading about your busy Week! 😂 I have had Two partial Big Toe Nails removed due to Diabetic complications... ain't no fun even with a high threshold for pain. I hope your Brother will heal well enough to be able to come home...Dawn the Bohemian
ReplyDeleteMY brother came back to my CCC today and from all reports he handled the move very wall. Sunday is my day to go visit.
DeleteYesterday was my last day to soak my foot and the toe is doing really well. Knock on wood.