Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, November 1, 2023

The Murder Mystery Dinner Party


For Halloween our Life Enrichment Director here at the continuum care campus staged a Murder at Heathcliff Manor mystery dinner party. Was it ever fun both before and during the event. Twenty of us had acting parts and we got our characters’ names and bios two weeks beforehand so we could pull our costumes together. Over that time we were all brainstorming where we could get various parts of our costumes. A tennis skirt was loaned to the ‘tennis pro’, a long back skirt was loaned to the ‘housekeeper’ of the manor, tattoo sleeves were borrowed from a grandson for the ‘cook.’ Even a Catholic priest loaned a collar to the guy playing a Victor. And our LE Director did such a good job matching up the personalities with the parts she assigned. A woman who was an Air Force nurse played Dr. Fumbles; a woman who likes to be the center of attention around here played a Constable and part time stripper; a retired lawyer played a “protector of the common people in the House of Lords.” I was professor Peacock “a renowned member of English Department at the the university” and she was also a wanna be published author of science fiction tomes. (Note none of the actually retired professors living here played the game, otherwise I probably wouldn't have gotten the part.) There was also a maid, chauffeur, a classical violinist, retired Army general, gardener, psychic, photographer, personal assistant, games keeper, stable boy and the widow of the murder victim.

Part of my costume suggestions included carrying a stack of books and I just happened to have a copy of a book named, How to write Believable Science Fiction. I also carried my favorite book about punctuation Eats, Shoots and Leaves and several other how-to-write books. My character was also supposed to be looking into the other characters so I also carried an Encyclopedia of Human Behavior and Mental Health. A tweed jacket was suggested and I had one but not an argyle sweater vest for underneath so I added a Black Watchman plaid scarf instead and a pair of peacock earrings. I found a beaded eyeglass lanyard on Amazon and had my character loss her glasses a couple of times that were parked on top of ‘her’ head with the bead flapping alongside my face. I had also practiced my introduction speech enough times that I knew it by heart. There’s a case where it helps to be computer literate. Most people didn’t see their speeches until the night of the party but I found mine online at the game makers’ site beforehand. 

There are several companies who make these murder mystery party games and the company where ours came from---The Murder Mystery Party Company---have about twenty games. Most of them are for smaller groups of people. I’ve been told they are very popular among the late teens and early twenties crowds. And I can see why. You can even find costume kits online for some of the characters and well as music playlists. If I was younger I’d throw a mystery party in a heart beat.

We, of course, had to pay for a plated dinner (what’s what they call their fanciest meals around here). We had our choice of three entrees and I was only one of two of us who picked the short ribs. Most of the others got sea bass and a few got the chicken. When my dinner came the rib bone was 14 inches long, which was two inches longer than the plate was wide. We all got a kick out of that ‘dinosaur bone’ and everyone in management had to come over to see it. For $25 we got a drink from the bar, soup, salad, the entree with potatoes and vegetables and a desert boxed up to take home. People who wanted to watch the game being played (but not have a part in it) paid the same $25 for the meal. But it was well worth it. The food was great---all their plated dinners always are---and they should be for that kind of money. Most dinners here are $12 to $15 and we order off a menu. They do buffets when they want to let their staff off early like on the nights before holidays. Their plated dinners are for special events and are pre-ordered when you sign up. 

The next day after the party at the lunch table we were still laughing and talking about the highlights of the murder mystery. It was a long night too. First we gathered for pictures but by the time we went into the dining room we were all in character. While we ate, the LE Director took a microphone round for us to introduce ourselves (in character). Then she read three rounds of questions, taking the microphone around each time for our individual replies which were clues to solve the mystery of who among was the killer. (At that point in the game the only person who knew who the murderer was was the actually murderer. And that was determined by who drew a slip of paper out of a hat with an ‘X’ on it.) In the pamphlets we got our characters had two ways we could answer each round of questions, depending on if we got the ‘x’ or not. Those answers increasingly made all of the characters look like they had good reasons to kill the Lord of the Manor. We laughed to the point of tears as the night progressed, especially at the al libs people made. Our Life Enrichment Director the next day was on cloud nine and said she's going to make this an annual Halloween event.

Until Next Wednesday. ©

 

*I’m writing this on October 31st and outside my window the grass, bushes and trees are covered in snow.

39 comments:

  1. What a great idea! I'm so glad you could participate and that everyone had a good time. ❤️

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  2. That sounds like an amazingly fun event and your description of your “costume” made it possible to really visualize how you were in character

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    1. I've been looking for photos to show up on our places Facebook pages, so I could nap a few for this post, but it's too early. Most of us the next day confessed that we were having so much fun we forgot to take any.

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  3. You have so many great options at your CCC! I know that it's not easy to please everyone, but they sure do try. Your "plate dinner" sounded good, too. Halloween is history and now we march on to Thanksgiving and Christmas. Never a dull moment.

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  4. That sounds like SUCH fun. I’ve heard of them but haven’t ever participated in one.

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    1. There truly is something for everyone here. There is a whole circle of people who are into religious activities that I rarely, same with those who like to play our version TV games shows or card games and sports. We are very lucky to have such a hard working Life Enrichment Director is ask us for suggestions and implements for them. One of my suggestions is coming up soon and I'll be able to take photos of that. Can't wait.

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    2. Same with me. But now that I've done one I can sure see why they are popular. They have them in all kinds of (pretend) settings like pizza parlors, old west saloons, a roaring twenties speak easy, etc. And most of them are for 6-8 players so family sized.

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  5. How fun. I ordered a Murder Mystery Kit some time ago and have it waiting for the next time the family (my husband and I and my daughter's in-laws, two daughters, two sons-in-law, five grandchildren and three steady long-term boyfriends of granddaughters) gets together. . . if I can arm wrestle them into it. With me having physical problems after spinal surgery and my husband having tested with mild and possibly multi-factorial cognitive impairment, it's time to remember we all love each other and have fun together. You've given me lots of ideas.

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    1. What fun! The kit we got came with invitations, name tags, chalk to make an outline of a body but our LE Director stuffs some clothes and had the victim face down in a kiddie swimming pool. It also came with the notes to draw were the random x was placed, the little booklets each character got to give us our introduction speech, our character's background and the answers to the questions we'd be asked. The invitations included our character's name and costume suggestions plus the website for those of us who wanted to know more. I think assigning the characters with some thought for why the person you pick might relate to the character helps everyone have more fun. Like our chauffeur also wanted to be a race car driver and the guy who played him was a fan of the sport. Some characters can be either sex which is something else to keep in mind.

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  6. I laughed at the collection of books you decided to tote around. "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" is on my bookshelf, too; it's a good one. The game sounds rather like Clue. I've never played that, but from what I've heard it's also based on a find-the-murderer premise ("It was Dr. Goodenough in the kitchen with the knife...") I'm glad you had such a good time. It sounds as though it will make a good addition to the seasonal program offerings there.

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    1. I've never played Clue either but now I want to look into that. If it's a board game I'd buy one. Most of the night activities around here---cards, game shows, trivia, music at the fireplace, are lead by the residents just asking the LE Director to put it in an announcement. Picking out the books to carry was really hard because I have two shelves of how-to write books. I also thought about taking one of my self-published books and claiming it was written under my character's pin name, but instead I took my 'No Plot, No Problem' which intrigued a few people in my book club.

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  7. (I woke up to snow this morning. Ugh.)

    Sounds like your short ribs weren't very short! LOL The whole event sounds like a good time. Does the audience get to guess the murderer? I've never played or been to one of these things.

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    1. A short rib on a buffalo maybe. LOL No the audience didn't get to do anything but watch and listen but every time I looked over at them they were laughing too. At first they weren't going to be included but so many people asked that they decided to let them in the dining room as long as they ate what we ate.

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  8. Sounds like great fun and I'm glad you had such a good time and that everyone enjoyed it so much. What a clever idea for a Halloween gathering!

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    1. They've got these parties for a lot of occasions and places like on a space ship, disco bar, pizza place....even a couples date night game for two or four.

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  9. Sounds like a lot of Fun, my Friend Bess who worked with me at the DA's Office used to go to Dinner Theaters with her Boyfriend of 45 Years, Jim. They had parts and it even was entertaining for her to tell me how it went. He used to be a bit Actor so it was his element and he was a Tall Handsome Senior who didn't look his Age. Bess used to Joke that Jim looked like a Movie Star and she looked like a Dollar and Ninety-Eight Cents. *LOL* She was a riot, I really miss her. I'm glad Halloween was such Fun and glad the Activities Director had such good participation and feedback that she's going to make this a Halloween Event in the Future.

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    1. People's personalities really came out when they were playing someone else. Our LE Director really earns her keep and seems to really love her job.

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    2. As soon as I can recover from this back surgery, I'm going to be on the hunt for a place that will be right for me and my husband, although his PCP has warned that he would lose ground quickly if I did. I'm learning that in addition to accommodations, figuring out if any place will accept our 80-pound-Pyr-mix, food considerations, and how memory care looks and costs, I'm learning that I should pay attention to the activities director. I've learned so much from you, Jean, over these last few years.

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    3. I'm glad if I can help CCC shoppers understand they need to do their homework. I don't know that it's necessarily true that people always lose ground when they move to a CCC or nursing home. Some people thrive with the extra stimulation around them and also on the way the family 'sells' the idea to the person who is dragging their feet. I know several people with serious conditions who say that they wanted to move to a place where their spouse would be all settled in when they die, it gives them comfort. (And this place really does take widows and widowers under their wings.) In my area places that accept dogs aren't hard to find but one who accepts 80 pounders narrows the field. It was the very first question I asked of the sales rep, "What is your weight limit for dogs." They don't have one here but many places set it at 30 pounds. My Levi was 29 and that was too close for comfort or me.

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  10. This sounds like so much fun! And well described. I don't think I've ever done one of these but it would be right up my alley!

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    1. You should check, I'll bet one of the companies has a wine tasting murder mystery game.

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  11. Those parties are fun. I did one many many years ago. My son and daughter in law went to one with friends a few weeks ago -- all costumed and looking forwrd to it. I never heard how it turned out. But I'm sure they had a great time. Isn't laughter the best?!?

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    1. On my way back to my apartment I thought the same thing about laughter being the best for whatever ails you.

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  12. SNOW? Yikes. Did I miss who the killer was? This sure sounds like a fun evening and that 'short' rib sounded yummy.

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    1. Nope, I didn't say who the murder was. The Victor who was also the victim's brother and he was in love with the victim's new bride. The rib was tasty.

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  13. Such a great idea for a fun evening (despite the snow!). I have enjoyed two of these at home parties and they were lively and hilarious! How was THE rib?

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    1. The rib was tasty and enough for a second meal the next day. There was enough meat still on the bone to make soup but I couldn't figure out how I could get it home. NOW I think the kitchen staff could have wrapped it in fold.

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    2. What a fun evening! It sounds like the Mystery Game could not have gone better. I have attended 3 in my lifetime. The first one was a high school dinner party and I think the students were confused as they went from table to table. The second one was in another state at a conference. I was really looking forward to attending one with "adults". It turned out it was a huge conference and the mystery was a play on the game "Clue". So there were 8 characters that had to visit about 50 tables, one at a time, so we could ask questions. And the food was awful. We were in the back and about an hour in with only 2 characters visiting. Since my friends are too much like me, we spotted a pizzeria across the street, quietly left the room and headed over there for an edible dinner.
      The third mystery (the most fun) was at a local winery and included an okay meal. The theme was a wedding and we all wore our "mother of the bride" dresses to get some use out of them. They chose the "actors" from the crowd and unfortunately some of them were drinking too much. Even with all that we were the only table to solve the mystery.

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    3. The game calls for each character to go around and ask a question of the other characters but we modified the game to fit our age group and decided on the fly to have the LE Director go around and ask the questions so we could all hear the answers at one time. Makes more sense than having twenty people wander around and each of having to repeat the answer twenty times.

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  14. I like the sound of a murder mystery party but I expect I would suck at it, as I never seen to figure out who done it in the mystery books I have read and I have read a lot of them. That said I think I would enjoy myself if at one.

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    1. Only three people out of the twenty of us guessed the correct killer so you would not be alone in figuring out the murderer at these parties.

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  15. Sounds like a fab time was had by all.

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  16. Wow! Sounds like it was a perfect night - great food and great fun had by all!

    Deb

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  17. I'd be walking on a cloud after a night like that too! Fabulous entertainment for all involved.

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  18. I'm laughing along with you. This was a fun post... because you had such a fun time. Love it.

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  19. OMG. How much fun. I have never been to a Murder Mystery Diner. I bet it was a total hoot. It tickles me just thinking about it.

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