When my computer was down these past two days I was going
through withdrawals from spend my mornings online. So I started sorting out a
couple of boxes in the garage and I ran across a birthday card I’d given Don on
his 50th birthday. I didn’t know he’d saved it. Inside of the card I had written the following:
Dear Don,
From the beginning of life to the end, we use our birthdays
as benchmarks to our accomplishments. By five years old we’ve learned to walk,
talk and go to the bathroom by ourselves and those who love us celebrate these
things and all we have to look forward to in life.
Our thirteenth birthdays mark yet another milestone, an era
when our potential and promise are formed and when we’re ready to embark on a
voyage into adolescents.
Like everyone else, we took the passing of our sixteenth and
twenty-first birthdays for granted, like they were our God given right. Now, we smile at the memories of those
carefree days and sometimes we wonder why youth is wasted on the young.
Then came our thirtieth and fortieth birthdays and with each
we questioned where we’d been in life and where we’d hope to be. The joy, the celebrations of our birthdays
diminished over those years as we forgot how to examine the accomplishments
we’d made---learning to stand on our own, career building, the friendships we’d
been able to keep through the years, and the mental strength we’d honed.
Like all the others, our fiftieth birthday marks another
bank of accomplishments. We’ve just come through a tough decade in our lives. An era
of losses---our parents, our once perfect health and our youthful looks, dreams
that can never be. All these losses have the power to make us stronger and more
appreciative of everything we still have. It’s a time for reevaluation, for
setting different goals. But most of all, fifth birthdays are a benchmark to
celebrate life and the fact that we’ve still got 30 or 40 years left before we
forget how to walk, talk and go to the bathroom by ourselves.
With all my love, Jean
It’s funny how a widow keeps finding things and people who
pull her back to forgotten memories and events. I hadn’t seen that card
for over twenty years. I also found it on a day when I had met a guy when I was
out walking the dog who knew Don from Don’s trips around the neighborhood in
his electric wheelchair. He knew who I was from seeing me pass by with Don in
our Traverse but I wasn’t aware of him. He said he thought Don left behind a
great legacy, a legacy of showing others how to accept living with a disability
with grace and making the most of what he had. The neighbor also told me a
funny story of how one time he was having a birthday party and Don cruised
right into the outdoor event like he’d been an invited guest and before they
knew it, Don was entertaining everyone with his aphasia driven antics. That was
Don, the guy whose stroke taught him how to be a mime. Running into this guy
was like getting a new surge protector for my computer. He made Don come alive
to me again. And that reminded me of how much I still miss him! ©
Ah Jean. Today, for some reason, a comment was made about Fred,"He was such a great guy,"--brought back all of the memories of what a sweet, loving, easy going, great guy he was. When those memories come--then the missing comes and stays around for a few hours. Beautiful message you wrote for him--almost a love poem. Glad you found the card--really glad you found it. Don't throw it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I won't throw it away.
ReplyDeleteIt really is nice when someone tells me something I didn't know about Don, like the guy did I wrote about. Glad you also had a walk down Memory Lane today, too. Those walks are worth the bitter sweetness that comes with them...at least for me.
What a loving and wise note you wrote to Don. It reminds me how God weaves lives together, maybe not forever, but enduringly. I rarely miss my late husband anymore, yet he's in my warp and woof.
ReplyDeleteThank you. What a lovely way to put it...that your husband is in your warp and woof. How true that is of all the people who've been important to us over the years.
ReplyDeleteJean :
ReplyDeleteyour lovestory & pray that our lovestory also gets as sweeter as yours as more years go on.
Thank you, anonymous. Relationships are hard work but SO worth the effort. Sadly,I don't think many of us really appreciates what we have until it's gone.
ReplyDeleteJean, I'm so glad that this stranger stopped to tell you about his memories of Don. What a gift!
ReplyDeleteBTW, when you need to bite the bullet and get a new computer, you might look for one running Windows 7. I made the switch from XP to Windows 7 last year, and it was very easy. Windows 7 is a lot like XP, but better. -Jean
Jean, I just love your observations on human nature, and your humor. It blows me away. What a great card. I laughed, but it also hurt to read it because of the truths. But I am so glad finding it coincided with your neighbor's wonderful story about Don, "the mime". No words needed, it said so much about him and what he was like.
ReplyDeleteStepintofuture: You're not to only person to tell me that about the jump between XP and Windows 7. The guy at the computer repair told me the same thing, but he also said that Windows 7 is getting harder and harder to find on new machines, but is still available on refurnished computers. I've got to do something soon!
ReplyDeleteBedragged: Thank you so much for the comment! Sometimes I wonder why I keep blogging and it's really nice to hear when someone "gets" me.