Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

After the Storm….


Last year after we lost power for days on end in the middle of winter it scared the bejesus out of me to the point I finally got serious about lining up another place to live where I’ll not be so isolated. Thus I ended up with the down payment on a continuing care campus that won’t be ready to move into until early 2021. That means I have this winter and next to get through before I’ll be in an independent living unit where there will be backup power and someone whose job it is to do a daily wellness call and a maintenance department to fix any woes that come up including changing light bulbs. I’m hoping the maintenance man will look like Brad Pitt but I’m guessing he’ll be more like Ed Norton from the Honeymooners. I’d break stuff to get a close-up look at dimples like Mr. Pitts’. Ohmygod, I need to get out of the house more, I’m starting to sound like my teenage-self. Can’t help it, I’ve always been a sucker for dimples. My husband didn’t have them so I’ve been dimple starved since my very first, serious crush at fifteen.

Like all people who learn from their mishaps, mistakes and life experiences when I got back home after last year’s power outage that drove me to accept shelter at a friend’s house I got to work getting myself better prepared should I be without power for five days ever again. The house inside got down to 50 degrees but the worst was my cell phone ran out of power, my emergency dialer did too and it was too icy to go next door to a neighbors should I have a true, life or death issue that would have caused me to leave a blood trail across the snow. I tried charging my phone in my car but learned I needed the motor running to do that. However, I couldn’t get the garage door open to have proper ventilation to do that. I longed to sit in the car to get warm and charge my phone like I saw neighbors doing up and down the street. I was envious because I was sure as they sat in their driveways they were listening to a someone-did-me-wrong country song that made them feel better as they sang along. Misery does like company.

Since that storm I’ve had a solar powered phone charger and solar portable radio sitting in my windowsill. Not sure if they work long term and I hope never to find out. And thanks to my niece I now have a long handled tool that will reach the garage door latch that over-rides the electric garage door opener. It’s a large, heavy door that takes the strength of Hercules to lift which is another reason why I shouldn't have sent my exercise equipment to Goodwill. I also bought an Energizer flashlight that plugs in an outlet and comes on if the power goes off. I already had a couple of camping lanterns and this week I got them out when I saw the high winds and ice storm predictions and I put fresh batteries in them. Everything chargeable was put on chargers and I boiled some eggs, did the laundry, ran my dishwasher, took a shower and got out the emergency “Go Bag” I put together after last year’s storm. After checking what was inside I added a few things like medications, snacks for three days and a book. 

Then I packed a Go Bag for the dog with three days of supplies---food, treats, leash, plastic bags, dishes and water---but I couldn’t find his sweater. He’s a nudist and doesn’t like wearing a sweater for normal trips outside but during last year’s power outage I made him wear it around the clock. Where the heck did it go? I don’t usually lose things. A month or so ago I downsized his box of belongings and gave stuff to a dog rescue group including a few sweaters that no longer fit and I feared in one of my dyslexia moment I put his keeper sweater in the donation box. So off I went to buy him another before the storm hit. While I was at the pet store another woman was buying the same thing for the same reason which made me feel better not to be the only dog mama who lost a sweater. I was glad we weren't looking for the same size because I didn't want to make the nightly news for fighting over the last fricking size large in the store.

When I got back home, I pulled in the garage and before I even got the motor turned off I remembered he wore his sweater to the groomers since I donated to the rescue group and it was taken off when I dropped Levi off and the sweater was on the front seat of the car after that. I turned my motor off, leaned over to feel around between the passenger seat and the door and sure enough, the sweater had found its way down there. Apparently, when I put my purse on the seat it got pushed off….just like the set of keys got pushed off the table when I was doing the Big Paper Shredding Project last month. Now I'm wondering if maintenance men help you look for lost things because I seem to nursing a habit of carelessness in my old age. Or is it just that our brains slow down too much as we grow older? Maybe at forty, fifty even sixty we remember quicker where we last saw what we’re looking for so it only takes a few seconds to find missing stuff, hardly enough time expelled to remember the search. What's the timeline when looking for lost things registers enough to make us question our sanity? For me it seems to be after 15-20 minutes when I quit looking and it materializes like the punchline of a bad joke. Hey, lady, your brain just farted!

Sunday, the morning after our milder-than-predicted storm passed the sun was on the other side of the tree row behind my house and the ice on its branches sparkled like the diamond cliché everyone uses to describe such natural beauty. It wasn’t thick ice that took our trees and our power lines down and for that I am grateful. But I’m leaving the Go Bags packed...  ©

51 comments:

  1. I love your sense of humor, I'm glad you have your Go Bags packed just in case, and I'm sorry you can't move into your CC place before next winter.

    How long does winter last where you are? Around here it starts to peter out in February. We still get snow, but the sun usually comes out the next day and starts to melt it.

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    1. The 'Go Bag' is good for summer tornado warnings too, when you have very little time to grab something. I just need to check inside more often. But last year when I put my first one together I was in a hurry with a friend's son waiting for me. I forgot stuff.

      Our winters are long. Hunters want it to start around Thanksgiving for tracking but we don't always get snow then. Our average snow falls chart is below but ours doesn't melt in between storms like yours in the western state does. We used to get more snow in December and less in March than we have been getting in recent years. The season is shifting...

      days
      14.9 January 20.8 inches
      10.7 February 14.8
      6.4 March 8.3 21.1
      2.0 April 1.8 4.6
      0.1 May 0.0 0.0
      0.5 October 0.5
      4.2 November 6.8
      13.3 December 21.9
      52.1 Year 74.9

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  2. You are well prepared for the next power outage. Good for you and thanks for the tips. I should get one of those Energizer flashlights. I never have the correct batteries for the flashlights when the power goes out... which is very seldom. I end up using candles:)

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    1. If I was really prepared I'd get a generator but to get one big enough I wouldn't be able to start it anyway.

      Batteries now have such a long shelf life it's not hard to keep the right ones for lanterns in the house. If you disengage them between storms they last really long time. In the summer I go outside and grab a few solar yard lights and bring them inside. My solar powered radio also has a flashlight and a windup thing to general more power. I recently discovered I can charge a phone off that radio, too.

      The Energizer flashlight is great. You can take it out of the wall outlet, fold the plug part in and carry it around like any other flashlight and switch it off or on as needed.

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    2. My Mom who lived in NH by herself in her 90s bought a propane powered generator that turned on automatically when the power went out. It was her lifeline during winter storms.

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    3. When we built the house we looked into have a generator wired in and properly ventilated but at the time we had a major cash flow issue and didn't want to spend the extra $3,000. Power outages have not been a problem in my area over the years until three years ago.

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    4. We looked into a generator with an auto switch a few years back, and with the concrete pad it needed to sit on, the gas piping, and the electrical changes, it came to over $6K. That's when we decided to ride it out. LOL.

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    5. Double the price in 18 years doesn't really surprise me. We always thought we could do it later but we didn't.

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  3. I love the ice on the trees as in your picture. I love to see that from afar. I can truly say I have never noticed Pitt's dimples. I have noticed he is far better looking as he ages. I always thought he looked like a girl. I hope your maintenance man looks like him and is as nice as him!

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    1. Brad Pitt has aged well, hasn't he. I've always been attracted to his playful personality which is a major part of his looks in my book. Then when he started building houses after one of the hurricanes down south I loved him all the more for his generosity. Funny how we can think we know someone we've never met. What I perceive as playfulness could just be an alcoholic buss.

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  4. I commend your preparedness. It's -40C in NE Alberta these days. These cold spells get harder to bear as I get older. The idea of living where someone else is responsible for the maintenance is more and more appealing after 28 years of flying solo. I, too, long for a Brad Pitt-esque houseboy! Your humor will see you through.

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    1. 'Houseboy' sounds so much more promising than maintenance man. LOL I like that.

      I hate the cold! A friend told me to turn my heat up so in case we lose power it will take longer for the house to cool down. I did it and it's been heaven set at 73 degrees. I usually keep it at 69 or 70.

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  5. That is so smart to be ready to go in an instant if necessary! That will really be nice to be someone to be taken care of - especially if the hot guy wish comes true!!!! I am glad you are okay after the storm and I pray you have a calm Winter although living in Michigan I am not sure that is possible -right?? Stay safe!!!! HUGS

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    1. Our winter so far has been on the mild side which scares me. I know we're going to get dumped on and the season will stretch into spring. Power outages are something new to me, though. We have underground wiring and before last winter the most we ever had was 3-4 hours of lost power at a time.

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  6. I sure do NOT miss those midwestern snows! I left Ohio (for California) the summer after the Big Blizzard. And we rarely got a day off school.

    Oregon is pretty mild but we do get occasional snow ... predicted for this week but never showed. Winter is usually 40's and rain.

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    1. With all the rain do you ever get black ice? That's truly scary stuff.

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    2. No black ice very often. Maybe on high bridges or in upper elevations. Thankfully I don't HAVE to drive .... although now the kidults have to take boys to school at 8am. Previously they both worked retail so didn't start til 10am ... so worst of slippery slopes were gone.

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  7. Smiled all the way through especially since it all turned out OK. Your humor did not freeze. I do all the prep you do and actually enjoy outages for the first couple of days. Kind of like camping out. Then I get pretty cranky on the 3rd day.
    Me too on BP's dimples. That man just gets better looking as he ages.

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    1. It is an opportunity to relive the camping experience at first but when I started getting so cold I couldn't think anymore, I got scared.

      Glad someone else likes Brad's dimples.

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  8. Jean :

    I love your being prepared &organized, love the Go bag idea. at our home hubby is usually my finder, I don't loose things, but misplace them, it used to happen often before when I was still trying & learning to live in two handed world with just one hand, since I will keep the whatever is in my working hand to wherever I needed to use my working hand again. It was very frustrating to say the least, of-course over the years learned different way of adapting & becoming more organized so life is better now. love the ice on the tree picture, is that how it looks for you right now?

    Asha

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    1. I grabbed that photo off the internet, Asha, but my trees did look like that for a day before they started melting.

      I can imagine how hard it is to live using just one hand. When Don was a live I had a book on how-to-do stuff one handed and I would learn to do a task so I could teach him since he lost his ability to read for a long time.

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  9. Sounds like you were ready but I'm glad you didn't lose power again. Here's hoping we can get through this winter without too much snow and cold!

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    1. Me too! Course we're both in Michigan so we've got a long winter to go yet. As long as we keep power, I'm good with being snowed in.

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  10. Wow! I am glad you are okay after the storm and prepared just in case. I do the same as things electric often go sideways here in Montana. In fact, we had our share of inconvenient outages here. I bought a Mr Little Buddy and a portable Mr Buddy four years ago and was glad I did invest the past few days. Absolutely work like a charm and kept me fairly toasty. They are safe to use indoors..just crack a window a tiny bit.

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    1. I had a propane heater that I bought for my husband's disability deer hunting hut that was only used twice. I foolishly sold it in a garage sale. In my defense, we had never had a long power outage before that either.

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  11. We don't get snow here in SoCal but we do get earthquakes. Fortunately, nothing big where I live... yet. You are smart to prepare so well. We keep talking about putting a kit together but, so far, nothing. As they say "hope is not a plan."

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    1. In an earthquake zone I would think it would be wise to have Go Bag. Having some cash, passwords and bank account numbers hidden within included. But no one wants to believe bad things can happen to the, so I understand why we don't.

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  12. Those multi day outages really suck bad - even if you are prepared. I'm glad it didn't happen though. It's stressful whether you're prepared or not. When I moved to the coast and had my house built, I had the good sense to ditch a pretty fireplace and install a pretty little Jotul wood stove instead (with a glass door so I can still watch the fire) , and it's come in handy more than once and as recently as Dec 19, 20 and 21st. I stay warm and I can have hot coffee and warm soup. This year I discovered how slick those little round pull up lanterns are. Enough light to see my way around the entire room, read, and they can be hung by their little pull up handles. I also learned food will stay safe for 36 hours if the freezer door is never opened! The wind is whipping around outdoors as I type this. Sigh. There's still a bunch of winter to be unpredictable ahead of us.

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    1. Those wood stoves do a good job. My brother has one that he uses to supply most of his heat. Sounds like you've got the same kind of lantern than I have. In a pitch you can bring in your solar light sticks in the yard if you have any. They actually helped a lot during last years storm.

      Knock on wood we all get through until spring without too much trouble.

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  13. I am the same way about being prepared for hurricanes. Having lived through a couple where I have supplies ready and a bag packed, I now believe in being ready with clothes, flashlights, extra cell phone charger packs and a good book. If you have to suffer, I'd rather suffer in as much comfort as possible.

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    1. It makes sense to have a few things ready to go because you don't always have the time to gather stuff. My go bag is an a smallish back pack. I'm going to add a few more things, too.

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  14. You know, I'm far from a stereotypical prepper but I have been thinking about the fact that it's not just weather we might need to be concerned with. Cyber attacks are a reality today, and one of my friends who's in IT and pretty with-it says it's only common sense to take a few simple precautions: always keep a nearly-full tank of gas, have some cash on hand, and have the same kind of food, water, and medical supplies we'd keep for an ice storm or hurricane. If the grid goes down, that means no credit card use, no gas pumps, and so on. It's kind of weird to think about those things, but on the other hand, it's probably best to think about them without obsessing over them.

    I'm just glad winter hasn't been hard on you yet. Of course there will be more to come, but it sure beats having the snow arrive before Thanksgiving and never thaw!

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    1. I agree. We had a taste of what could happen last summer when a natural gas storage place that supplies 3/4 of the state had been taken off line for a few hours and they never figured out why or at least they never told the public. It crossed my mind that it was a cyber attack or hacker seeing what they could do.

      Keeping a go bag is something in the future I'll continue to do but I just need to remember to rotate the meds and snacks.

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  15. You are well prepared and I hope you never lose power again. It's something that I fear as well. I need to be more prepared☺

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    1. If you did lose power, Molly, you've got lots of beautiful hair that would keep you warm and you'd get many cuddles from your mom.

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  16. I was so relieved the storm wasn't a big deal. When the Weather Channel arrives in Lansing it's a little scary. But hardly anything here. I know you guys get it a little worse, so I'm glad it wasn't too bad in your neck of the woods.

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    1. Me too, I've rather be forwarded and not need the preparation than the other way around. When you looked at the broad weather map you can see why this storm was so hard to figure out. I remember Lansing getting hit hard by ice not all that long ago. Very scary stuff!

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  17. A Go Bag is a great idea! I bet lots of us start putting one together after this post.
    Thanks Jean - humour and a good lesson!

    Deb

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  18. I just know how hard it was to throw stuff together when my friend's son-in-law was waiting for me to do it on the fly.

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  19. I'm taking full credit for the ice storm staying mild because we finally broke down and bought a portable generator. Murphy's Law that we wouldn't need it. Ha! But I'm sure we will over time - like you, I am amazed by how frequent the outages are now and I expect they'll continue or get worse. Having a Brad Pitt type to help out would make it so bearable. What a hottie! And I agree he's getting better looking as he ages.

    Of course, now the generator needs to be run monthly, needs a gas stabilizer in the fuel, etc. etc. Another task. It was parked in the garage last weekend and we moved it back and forth behind the car that we weren't using at the moment. It was too heavy for me to help lift it out of the SUV when DH came home with it (the young store guys loaded it), so we had to get my nephew to help. It's handy but comes with its own issues. Haha.

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    1. And I thank you for your purchase! LOL At least there are two of you to remember the maintenance on it.

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  20. Better leave them packed. We got an even bigger one coming in this Saturday. 7-9" of snow and then freezing rain on top. I was about 78 when my memory started getting iffy.

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    1. Not to mention they are expecting lake effect snow in there too which isn't included in the 7-9 inches. Stay warm and inside this weekend.

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  21. Dear Jean, I lived for 38 years in Minnesota and never had a power outrage despite the blizzards. We had wind chills in Stillwater of -40 degrees and once we had--over a three-day period--36 inches of snow. But no power outage.

    Now that I'm here in Missouri, I've discovered that the culprit for the power outages here is sleet/ice. It's all new to me and I'm relieved that I do not work and have to drive on a coating of ice (of course, with glaucoma, I no longer drive anyway!).

    I admire the way you plan things and get organized. I'm sort of iffy in that category. Hope the weather treats you kindly this winter. Peace.

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    1. Ice is what usually takes our power out too. Sometimes wind. 36 inches of snow in three days is a LOT of snow. That's the kind that caves roofs in.

      Stay warm and safe this winter, Dee!

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  22. May I just add that for the last 35 years in Arizona I have not had to worry about any of that "storm" stuff. But, your problems bring back memories of growing up in the Northeast - memories I am glad to leave behind! I will never forget going 2 days without electricity after a huge snow storm in Boston. It was miserable.

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    1. I don't remember ever being without power for more than four hours before last year's storm. Not enough to get me to move somewhere where I don't know anyone. But AZ would be a nice place to go....

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  23. I have a friend who is an emergency preparedness specialist. She is perpetually perturbed at my somewhat haphazard preparations. My son also is a champ at that stuff and gave me a "go bag" for my BD, with supplies that half of which I can't recall how to use (fire starters and such). You are so wise to get all this figured out ahead of an emergency! I'm sure last year's wake up call was a ultimately a "good" thing for this alone. More POWER to you!

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    1. I actually have two Go Bags...one is actually a pail which some "be prepared list" says is best because it keeps things dry. The pail has the fire starter and space blanket and other stuff I can't image ever needing unless I couldn't get to a shelter. Your son is so thoughtful!

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  24. Tho' that Icicle laden bunch of Trees looks Magical, you reminded me of why I chose to live in a Desert! *Winks* As I'm Aging, just living out of the City here in the Desert made me nervous that everything was too far away and what if the truck broke down. I couldn't take the Cold any more, I never liked it anyway, I'm more a Tropical destination or Desert Rat kinda Gal... I like looking at Snow and Ice in Photos only... you don't have to shovel Sunshine. I have packed up so much shit I shouldn't have and it's all at the U-Haul now so I could relate to the Sweater Incident for Levi... only with Socks for The Man and Clothes for Princess T. One would have thought we'd be moved in 2 Days as spartan as their Closets were, what were they thinking?! *LOL*

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    1. I can't imagine how hard it is to have every you have packed up. I keep looking for stuff that I finally remember giving to Goodwill...or think I did. Driving me crazy. I need to double check my boxes from now on.

      I know deserts have their own kind of beauty but it would be hard for me to get used to the wildlife out your way. I'm not fond of snow anymore either.

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