Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Fun Shopping Games…

I wanted to buy a bistro set for my future deck because by the time I actually move it will be the wrong season for purchases like that. It’s only May and already sets that I had on my Wish List at Amazon and Wayfair (currently my favorite online stores) got marked ‘out of stock’ so fast you’d think they were clay pigeons in a marksman contest. She wants that one, let’s see if we can knock that one out of her head. I ended up with a space saving half table and two chairs. The color wasn’t stated on the page so I sent an email inquiry but impatient me I couldn’t wait two days for an answer so I clicked on the Help Chat. Got two different answers from those inquiries: Gray and Taupe. I could live with either color but prefer the gray and tomorrow when it gets here I'll know if the the gods of online shopping granted my wish. I like this set because it folds and the chairs are rated for 400 pounds so if chairs are in short supply while I'm entertaining I can double deck my guests. (That's got to be a typo in the description don't you think. I don't have any 400 pound friends but if I did I wouldn't let them sit on those chairs.) Since I sold off all my large deck furniture I’ll use this new set on my side deck for staging the open house, then back in the box it will go.

I ordered a new set of jersey knit bed sheets at Wayfair and two days later I was informed that delivery was postponed until mid-July. Oh. My. God. I am not used to waiting for stuff like that. Am I First World Spoiled or what? Canceled the order. Tried again at Amazon and got the same set and brand two days later.

I had picked out the style of La-Z-Boy chair I want at the beginning of the pandemic (but didn't order it). It will take 4 months for the custom fabric to get married to the frame. I’m willing to wait for that but I don’t want to wait too long after I move so I’ve got my ordering date scheduled on day planner. I also can’t/won’t order that chair until after I’ve gotten delivery on the new cushions I ordered for my wicker settee and side chair just to make sure nothing goes wrong there since the colors will be


coordinated. They take six weeks to custom order. Long time readers here might remember a post I did where I agonized over using my current white wicker porch furniture as my living room furniture at the new place or to buy traditional stuff that’s more comfortable. Against the advice of most of the blog community I came down on the side of sentiment and aesthetics and am keeping my grandfather’s porch set. I just couldn't let go of trying to re-create a cottage look living space. After nearly twenty years of living with an Old West theme I want Girlie, Light and Airy. So take that, blog community!

As a compromise to the comfort vs. aesthetics war going on in my head I’m thinking of keeping my husband's La-Z-Boy lift chair to use in my Crafts & Writing room. It’s a good chair with no wear on the fabric since it's always been covered with a slipcover and it’s good for daytime naps---not that I’ve ever done that but I have it on good authority that it is from Don and Levi back in the day when they'd both slept so soundly in that chair I was tempted to hold a mirror up to their mouths to make sure Man and Dog were still breathing. And as my niece pointed out, just because I’m moving doesn’t mean this is my last opportunity to donate or sell that wicker set and buy new stuff if it doesn’t work out the way I want. Everyone should have a niece who reads their heart as well as my niece does mine and doesn’t try to talk you out of what you really want, even when what you want is off the beaten path of good sense.

I’ve only got a couple more major purchases to make for my new place---one being an area rug for the living area which I'll order after I'm settled in---but I’m still on the fence about getting a hall tree that will fit in my laundry room. The hall tree will solve the issue of not having a coat closet near the entry door. I wasn’t even aware they made stuff like this and now I’ve got ten on my Wish Lists.

I just looked up the date with this whole moving ordeal started and it's been one month short of two years ago since I wrote the deposit check. I was number 23 of 52 people to sign on, knowing it was going to be a long windup, but I was getting $15,000 worth of perks for being one of the first 25 and I knew I'd need more time than most people because I had so many collectibles to downsize. Then the pandemic came along that shut-down construction for months that also created some issues with moving heavy equipment in and the move-in date kept changing. This time the date is firm. October 4th. Even elephants give birth quicker than my new place is taking---they carry their young 22 months! People assume that I'm excited. I am on some levels but I'm also scared something else will go wrong. I'm stressed worrying that I'm still keeping too much but I also stress that I'll let go of something I'll regret. I'm also worried over the listing and timing of the sale of my house. A house across the street went up for sale two weeks got and they got a signed buy/sell agreement in five days. But I still strongly believe that where and why I'm moving were good decisions and that is the Big Picture I have to keep reminding myself when I need to calm my nerves. That and I decided my favorite comfort food---ice cream---goes back on my weekly shopping list until after the move. ©

35 comments:

  1. Cute bistro set and once again you show how well you have organized this big project! Do you have a tentative moving date yet and what did you decide about a computer desk?

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    1. My next post will explain the move in process. With 52 of us all moving in the sane time frame it's going to be interesting. It's still a few months off but I got to go through my unit yesterday and what I saw made me really happy.

      The bistro set got here and it's gray like I wanted and perfect even though the shipping box had a foot long break in the end and the glass table top was sticking out.

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    2. You're not going to believe this but that bistro set isn't going to cost me a penny. It came with a one inch plastic part missing and after getting off the phone to Wayfair, trying to order just that part, they said the company that makes them no long has that part and they issued a refund in full. Then she told me go to a place like Lowe's o Home Depot and find a part that will work, supposedly it is interchangeable with others out there. Already got the refund back in my credit card account.

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  2. I am far behind you on orchestrating my move but I am one of the many who are downsizing with an eye toward a move. My little 1200 sq ft 2-story house seemed perfectly sized to me when I bought it in 2006 but now I'm more interested in a condo, with freedom from thinking about roofs, etc. I think I understand the mix of emotions you must be feeling as your move-in date nears. One great thing in you case is that everybody will be new at the same time!
    Nina

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    1. I love that we're all in the same boat, no clicks, not one with more knowledge of how things work than the others. We get to set the agendas so to speak and to pick out the kinds of classes and recreational stuff they'll have. Volunteering is a big deal with the founders of this non-profit and all their questionnaires ask if we're interested in that. I always put a question mark in between the 'yes' and 'no' boxes because I want to see what kinds of things they're volunteering for.

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  3. Yikes, all the waiting you are having to do from home to furniture would drive me up a wall. Mid July for sheets? Really admire your patience.
    Heard the home sale market was robust. Hope it stays for you. I sold my place years ago in such a boom and it took one day for a buyer to commit once the sign was in the yard at above asking price. Wishing you the same.

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    1. I talked to my realtor a few days ago and he seems to think the market will hold for me. I also live where people can pick between two of the best school systems in the county which is one reason why I'll try to get it listed in time to catch people looking for that aspect. Puts me a little too early to actually move so I'll be homeless for a few weeks if all goes according to plan.

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  4. No matter how organized you are, you will still fall prey to emotions, as you have said. That's normal, of course, but it doesn't help when things like the pandemic and its attendant collateral damage make things worse with shipping and manufacturing delays. I'd be a mess since Patience is not my virtue. And ice cream would NOT help me much. I'd have to call in the big guns--Wine.

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    1. Moving from one chapter of life to another, no matter the circumstances is emotional, I know. Just leaving a house I personally designed from the drawing board up and all the memories that are attached here will be hard. Not to mention the fear of the unknown that is ahead.

      I don't drink alone but I'm looking forward to having a bar not more than 400-500 feet from my front door. I see more wine in my future.

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  5. Do you have friends that will take you in for a few weeks if you sell quickly? Or an Airbnb you can rent? Our neighbors across the street moved into an Embassy Suites for over 3 months while they redid their home (with 2 kids too!)
    You will make it work. I love the new stuff you are buying - it will all look so nice!

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    1. My niece owns the cottage where I spent all the summers of my first 25 years of life and she's offered it to me for however long I need it. Ideally I want to stay there for two weeks to close on my house and do the final payment on the new place. It will give me time visit with both my nieces, nephew and and brother, after this long pandemic drought of not seeing anyone.

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  6. If I can't find it on Wayfair then I always go next to Amazon and then believe it or not Walmart has a lot of the same brands as wayfair. Walmart the store doesn't carry this stuff but walmart online does. I was on a wait list for a wayfair pair of night stands for a month. Someone suggested I go to walmart and I wrinkled my nose thinking it was walmart quality. I went to the walmart site and put in the company who made the nightstands and they were there. I just copied and pasted the wayfair name of the product into walmart and it came up. Even cheaper than wayfair. Who knew? I've done that a few times now - when I see it is waitlisted I try there. More than 1/2 the time it is at walmart. It's worth a look.

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    1. I found that out, too, by googling a brand to where else I might find something. I was disappointed that stuff I liked was sold at Walmart. Yes, turns out that I'm a label snob. Aside from that I won't spend a dime on Walmart as long the family that owns the company is supporting the likes of Trump and other wack-a-do Republicans. They are big donators to just about every cause I'm on the opposite side of politically.

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    2. I was that way and caved on the nightstands. Rick even said, "oh I see how you are, until something shiney and pretty comes along you lose your morals and convictions." I guess he's right. :-)

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    3. LOL I promise I won't cave. I donate too much money to liberal causes to give the Walton family more profits to spend on rabid conservative causes.

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  7. I completely understand your NEED to make sure that the colors and styles of your furniture coordinate in a way that pleases you. Fingers crossed your color palette holds firm. And how exciting is that Oct 4th is THE day! Progress

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    1. My color palette will bore most people because it's going to be white on white on gray with the accent colors coming from art on walls, in throw pillows and I hope to find a flashy area rug to add a big splash of color. I've never liked living with strong colors.

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  8. I hate waiting, I'm so impatient. That would drive me crazy.

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    1. I think of how impatient I am and wonder how people living on the American frontier back in the days of waiting months for shipping from out East and know I would have had to have grown a big set. LOL

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  9. I thought you had your outdoor furniture painted? Or is that for inside?

    We have all become more impatient for delivery since the pandemic, I think. Oregon has gone nutso. Gov closed indoor activities on Fri, Apr 30. Now she is opening everything up on this Friday, May 7 ... I'm not ready to go inside with lots of people, but good golly at least stick to a decision for more than a week.

    Thanks for sharing this journey. I love the photos! What a GREAT idea for a half table!!!

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    1. I sold a big round table with an umbrella and 4 metal antique chairs. I had a fifth chair painted along with a side table and a footstool. With this bistro set I'll have all I need to fill the deck except for some flowers.

      Governors are getting sued for closing down stuff and being forced by their state legislators to revise covid-13 stuff they've put in place. Maybe that's what happened in your state?

      By the time I actually move you'll be sick of reading about my monster journey. LOL

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  10. Good luck, I hope it goes smoothly. I would be a nervous wreck. ❤️

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    1. Does anything really go smoothly? As long as covid keeps its ugly head out of my way over the next few months I'll be happy.

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  11. That bistro set is so cute! I think you'll be very happy with it. I have one that is almost as cute and I love it. It's aluminum and very light and easy to move around, doesn't rust, cleans up quickly etc. Can't wait to see what you do with your new place after you move in!

    Deb

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    1. I like that it folds up and I can take it down to my shortage unit in the winter, if I want.

      I can't wait either but I have to. The actual move is still along way off.

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  12. good luck moving to new place brings in so much anxiety of packing, unpacking, but right now it feels like its sellers market everywhere houses get sold fast & bidding war happens, wish you that for your home sale & staying at your nieces cottage arrangement sounds like perfect deal for you. you got great family
    wishing you all the luck during this stressful time of moving, enjoy the process. I am glad you are keeping Don's lazy boy chair.

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    1. Don's La-Z-Boy is a lift chair and those suckers are expensive---capable of standing you up if you're too weak to do it on your own. If I ever get to a point where I need one, I'll only have to look in my writing/craft room. It's a soft denim blue.

      The actual move is still a long way off but so much is going to be happening over the next few months it's going to fly by.

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  13. You are taking the time necessary to make good decisions. I like your Bistro Set, especially that space saving half table, which is clever design. As for comfort vs aesthetic, isn't it too bad that it can't always be both? *Le Sigh* I'm glad even The Land of Blog didn't talk you into or out of anything, deciding firmly for yourself usually works out better, especially when it comes to feathering our own Nests. It will be your Sanctuary so it's important your Essence is infused in it all.

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    1. Funny how the comfort vs aesthetics comes in play when picking out shoes, too. Until we get a certain age, no one tries to talk you into comfortable shoes verse sexy high heels.

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  14. I love this set! It really is kind of perfect -- just the right size for a balcony or small deck, big enough to share a coffee now that distancing is less of an issue and large enough to put a laptop on if you want to write outside. It's hard to believe you are "that close" to moving -- after all this! I started following you before you even moved in and it makes me realize how quickly time has passed (though I'm sure it might seem longer for you! When you've something so big to anticipate, it always feels twice as long as it is -- and it has been a long while!)

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    1. I kind of like the idea of taking my laptop out there, too. And after living at the cottage for a few weeks I might even get to like my laptop.

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  15. It is fun to think of all the new ways you can use your considerable creativity to decorate and furnish your new home...and I'm also glad you acknowledged the stress and worry of it all too. Far too often we have to smile and go along with everyone's assumptions of "excitement" when the reality is far more complicated. Thanks for taking us all along on your journey -- warts and all.

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    1. I'm afraid my final decorating project will bore most people but I really don't care. I don't like a lot of color that can't be swapped out when I get tired of it. And I don't have much choice but use it for blog fodder. LOL Nothing else going on in my life.

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