In May of 2023 I wrote the following paragraph in this blog. "I also read Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan. Wow, is all can say other than it deserves its own post and I’ll bet it’s on the top of the Banned Books list in Florida. I learned a lot about bees from the book as well as about a topic I dare not name because none of the reviewers I've read have named it. Doing so would be like telling the who-done-it in a murder mystery. The surprise element is part of what makes the book such a great read and knowing it might keep some from reading the book thus missing a compelling learning opportunity."
If you've guessed that this is going to be that 'other post' where the book gets more space and attention, you'd be right. After reading the book last year I recommended it for a book club selection and this month it finally cycled up to the top of our 'read and discuss' time. If you've got the book on your "To Read" list you might want to stop reading this post because I'm about to reveal the surprise element that made it a controversial choice for a place where every now and then at a lunch table here at the Continuum Care Complex you might hear someone mention the 'evil woke teachers' who want to indoctrinate school children to change their sexual origination.
IMDb sums up the plot this way: "The novel focuses on the themes of young love, teenage angst and parental grief interwoven with murder and high intensity courtroom drama. The story follows a mother who relocates to her sleepy hometown in New Hampshire to take over the family beekeeping business and whose son is suspected of murder." The Washington Post called the book, "Heart pounding and Heartbreaking." And that is so true.
I got a preview of how the book club discussion would go at a dinner table a few days before our meeting when someone asked if anyone knew who recommended the book for the club and I owned up to it. And I did so without hesitation. Then she said and I quote, "You! I never would have guessed it was you and I've been trying to figure it out all week."
"Why wouldn't you think it was me?" I asked. "I'm open minded." Then a couple of people who aren't in the club asked what the book is about. None of the three of us who'd read it told them about the young transgender character who went through the sex change surgery and whose death led to a murder trial. One woman said there are three shocking elements in the book. It wasn't until a few days later at club before I found out what three things she meant because, to me, there was only the one shocker. (I feel so 'worldly' around some/most of my neighbors.) And I knew it was coming because I'd listened to the authors being interviewed before I read the book so I knew that Jennifer Finney Boylan, was a transgender activist. Picoult needs no introduction having authored 28 books, many of which have made the New York Time's list. She's known for writing about complex human relationships and controversial issues.
DNA and our Chromosomes: For those who don't know what 23 and Me is, it's a place that does genetic DNA testing. You send in a chunk of money and some spit and they can tell you things like if you're predisposed to various types of diseases, what part of the world your ancestors are from and if you have an inny or outy belly button or if your second toe is longer than your big toe and what color eyes you have. There were enough of the sillier markers that my DNA test revealed that I could verify just by checking out my body that I have no doubt about the accuracy of 23 and Me testing. There are lots of research articles on the site that are way too complex for me to understand. But one day after listening to how "left wing teachers are trying to turn boys into girls and girls into boys"---I need an eye rolling emoji here---I did a deep dive at 23 and Me on the topic of sexual origination.
The thumbnail version is it all has to do with something that happens or doesn’t happen in the first 12 weeks fetal development. All fetal brains begins in the 'female' state and by the 12th week if the Y-chromosome puts out enough testosterone it overrides the circulating estrogen a typical heterosexual male is formed. But if not enough testosterone is received it causes same-sex attraction in males---brain chemistry that doesn't match the plumbing. In other words, while my generation was brought up to believe that there are only males and females science is proving that sexual origination can be one of seven distinctions on a sliding scale of sorts. I printed out one of the research papers and took it to book club to refute anyone who still buys into the theory that same sex attraction is a choice.
Surprisingly---or maybe not considering the club is mostly made up of the liberals at my CCC---eleven of the twelve in the group liked or at least found the book interesting or enlightening. One woman---a member of the Trump Cult---quit reading at the chapter where a doctor was on the witness stand describing what is involved in a reassignment surgery and how even on close inspection a penis turned into a vagina would not look any different than a normal one. It also can have the same sensations and fluids during sex that a naturally formed vagina has.
Another thing I learned on my deep dive is that there is a debate going on about where the research should or could lead us to. Some look at the ongoing research as leading to a way to detect and correct babies in the womb whose brain chemistry doe not match their genitalia, while there are others who advocate for the research helping to change society from thinking of gender as two polar opposites---to accepting that a spectrum of sexuality is part of nature's (or God's) plan. Not something that needs correcting. The fact that the same percentage of humans on the spectrum is the same percentage as what can be found in the animal kingdom puts a thumb of the scale, in my opinion. But does it really matter if gayness or being transgender is a kind of birth defect or a normal part of nature's/God's plan? Either way, isn't it time that we all learn how to unconditionally accept the LGBTQ community?
Until Next Wednesday!
Great post!
ReplyDelete—-Cheerful Monk
I've not read this book (or even heard of it) but now it is on my list. It sounds fascinating and timely. The DNA stuff is interesting, too. I've always believed things were connected to the DNA and how we're put together but didn't know how so this is intriguing to me. I love how you never stop learning! AND that you brought this book to your book club. (Did your dinner companion ever say why she wouldn't have guessed that you recommended it?)
ReplyDeleteYou won't regret it. It's an intense read at times, with lots of interwoven issues and relationships.
DeleteNo, she didn't say but when we went around the room and asked everyone if they liked the book she said, "Like is not the right word. I learned a lot." She's on the naive side, married young, lived a sheltered life and was shocked by the topic of the book.
I agree with you! We don't need to judge others and can accept them where they are. "All you need is love..."
ReplyDeleteoften times the simplest answers are the correct ones.
DeleteI learned so much from that book, as well as enjoying the read. When I was much younger, I didn't "get" people being gay or transgender as it didn't make sense to me, from a scientific perspective. If the reason we are here is to pass on our genes (selfish gene theory), those people shouldn't happen. It didn't help either, that I was being raised in a homophobic household and the only representation of queer people I was exposed to was from reading that era's fiction (which always depicted the LGBTQ characters as either criminals or perverts or just sad and hopeless individuals). Thankfully my eyes were opened when my sister came out as gay many decades ago, and I started working on my REAL education regarding the LGBTQ community (which continues to this day). Representation matters so much, not only for queer people who feel isolated and wrong somehow in our straight society, but for us straights who NEED educating! Now I think about how much more drab and colourless our world would be without queer folk in it, and I no longer think that being queer is some sort of biological mistake but instead a much needed influx of diversity. Let people be who they really are, with judgement! OK, stepping off the soap box now...LOL.
ReplyDeleteDeb
A lot of us have been on the same path to understanding as you expressed here. Thanks so much for sharing what you did. I, too, have made the shift from viewing the LGBTQ community as individuals born with a sort of birth defect to seeing that society has been wrong to think there are only two sexes.
DeleteSorry, my post should read WITHOUT judgement, not with.
DeleteSubconsciously I read it the way you meant to write it. hehehe
DeleteJean, a penis can never be turned into a vagina. Oh, and those hormone blockers create cancer. And, it's being done to children whose brains aren't fully developed. But pharma/hospitals love it because they make so much money.
ReplyDeleteYou are completely uneducated in what's involved in reassignment surgeries. The tissue from a penis is used to construct the vagina and over simplification would be that the penis is turned inside out and inserted up inside the body with the tissues from the balls used to build a labia and a clitoris. But not all transgender surgeries are same....there are types in between as born and the full out penis-to-vagina rebuild. An article can be found here at the Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/procedures/gender-affirmation-surgery.
DeleteAll the research leads to the recommendation of the hormone blockers being introduced before puberty and it's completely reversal later on if someone changes their mind. Our gender identify is fixed in our brains by the 12th week in womb in the same way being left-handed or right-handed is and sometimes it doesn't match or plumbing. Left-handed kids will naturally want to use their left hand even when prompted to use their right. Sure, they can still do things right-handed but they know instinctively that something isn't right, that there is an easier more natural way for them. Many parents of trans and gay kids see it at an early age.
Thank you for this, Jean! There are a lot of people spouting off about things they've done no research on -- except probably listening to Faux News. I love that you have facts and reputable links to "try" to educate them.
DeleteI have a lesbian daughter and I was asked when she was in elementary school if I thought she was gay. I said she was doing well in school, happy and had good friends and that's all I can ask of a fifth grader. The a** that asked me that was my boss when my DD came to Bring Your Daughter to Work Day with me. He then suggested it was my job to "teach her morals." I still fume when I think of that and she's over 40.
Wow! Too bad Tim Walz wasn't around to tell your boss to mind is own damn business. Society in general is more educated now and fewer and fewer people assume gayness is a choice and/or a lack on the parent's part for doing or not doing something while raising kids. When my sister-in-law's son came out as gay she cried for two weeks straight because she thought it was her fault.
DeleteI never felt it was my fault, but I did worry about how the world would treat her. She is my most resilient kid and very self directed.
DeleteI laughed when I heard Walz say that -- he definitely sounded like he was channeling my dad.
The more I see of Walz and his family more I like him and think Harris made the right choice. He's a breath of fresh air.
DeleteI've read at least one other book you recommended, and liked it, so I've ordered this one. Although I'm really trying to stop ordering books (mostly used books from Amazon, because I read so much) and catch up on the piles that surround me. There's no other way to get inside someone else's mind and figure out how they see things. But this is a current topic I don't know much about, and all the discussion about it is very heated, so I really am reluctant to talk about it without more knowledge. Thanks for the recommendation!
ReplyDeleteYou will definitely come away from this book with a much deeper understanding plus it's a damn good story with lots of twists and turns. This is one of the books that Florida was trying to get banned from public libraries as well as school libraries. And it's a topic that isn't going away and the research is exploding. Can't put that genie back in the bottle.
DeleteGiven less than 1% of the population identifies as trans it's easy to see why some have chosen to make transgender medical procedures a 'cause'. There just aren't enough to fight back and it's so much easier to pick on a small minority! Just another issue that should be left to parents and doctors to deal with but the far right really loves to stick their nose into anything remotely associated with sex it if doesn't fit their world view.
DeleteEverything you've said is right and you said it far better than I could have. Thanks.
DeleteMost of the hate and bigotry against this community comes from religion of the evangelical variety. Their arrogance makes them feel superior and they feel it gives them the right to enforce their views on this and many other things on the rest of us. For god's sake why can’t people just be kind and accepting. Mary
ReplyDeleteI'm of the opinion that a lot of the hate is coming from, as you said the religion extremes, but those within the church who are fighting their own biological urges to same sex attraction. So they want to blame others for them having to have thoughts their church condemns.
DeleteI like the sound of the book and the DNA stuff is interesting to say the lease
ReplyDeleteIf you get a chance to read the book I think you'll find it interesting and a good read. I wish I was smart enough to understand all the DNA research. It amazes me!
DeleteNice job introducing your book group to this book. And it's encouraging that the one person who didn't like it at least admitted she learned a lot from it. I read it when it came out and learned a lot myself. Jody Picoult always teaches me something about whatever topic she chooses, and I've been reading Jennifer Finney Boylan in the NYT for a while. I always look forward to her essays.
ReplyDeleteJody sure does a great job mixing her well-researched topics in with a storyline that feels real. She knows how to draw her characters! I didn't know that Jennifer wrote for the NYT.
DeleteI'm not familiar with this novel, so thanks for bringing it to my attention. I know next to nothing about the subject of the story, not because of any bias just because I don't. Interesting that your book club read it, though.
ReplyDeleteI was at the meeting when we picked out the books to read for the coming year. Not many showed up so I got to add two books to our list of books to reserve from the "book club in a bag" program. I picked this one and 'West with the Giraffes."
DeleteI find it fascinating that quite a few indigenous cultures believed this from the jump and therefore accepted it and/or even felt it was perfectly natural, perhaps even an enlightened form of being adding value to their Society. I just saw a fascinating documentary on Tesla, he was very controversial and they say almost certainly an Autistic Genius. If he had prevailed rather than Edison, who had ties to Corporate America and profiting, Tesla's vision and implementation would have provided FREE Electricity to the World. That was a huge controversy in his time too, for obvious reasons. I think much is already known and NOT revealed, becoz it would all be too controversial and threatening to the Status Quo. I'd never heard of this Book, since I'm not a Reader *winks*, but the topic of coarse is near and dear to us for obvious reasons. I've thought of getting 23 and Me, and comparing it to the odd results I got from Ancestry.com... which had it's 21% Other Of Undetermined Origin slant on my results. Just makes me curious about a Quarter of myself that perhaps the competitor might unravel some? *Ha ha ha*
ReplyDeleteI've read that about indigenous cultures----their acceptance of what the tribes called some variation of "two -spirits." I've also read that the teenage suicide rate would drop dramatically if society had a different attitude towards the LGBTQ community. Like one of the characters in the book said of her transgender child, "I'd rather have a live daughter than a dead son."
DeleteI've done both Ancestry.com and 23& Me. The percentages at Ancestry get updated from time to time that's based on the expanding pool of people who do the blood tests. If you're still a member you get new stats every couple of years. I ended up with a lot more French and Irish in my DNA than the Italian I'd believed all my life based on my grandparents and great-grandparents. Both companies have their strong points but are different in their goals.
Once again, you've written quite a compelling post! I'm not a fiction reader or into genealogy so your perspective is new material for me. I think I did see a promo for this book but with your input, I may just have to read it. My views mirror yours and have evolved over the years. I find myself more and more disgusted with people who think this is a "fixable problem." It is neither, and yes, if you believe in god, then you have to believe this is part of his/her plan. People are indeed BORN this way. Get over it!
DeleteThat being said, I've done my own research to better understand the whole LGBTQ experience. I have a good friend who was born too early to take advantage of the new understanding and surgeries and the world has made their life more difficult than it should have been. Watching them navigate through things years ago when understanding and acceptance was almost non-existent, was stressful. They are in a better place now but have never really been able to live the life they deserved.
I also worked with children my whole career and it was obvious which ones were transgender and also which ones had supportive families. The government and religion both need to leave these folks alone.
And your comments about the animal kingdom is so true. For anyone who hasn't read it, "And Tango Makes Three" is a fabulous children's book about two real male penquins at the NY Zoo who became parents thanks to a zookeeper. It's a frequently banned book because, of course, it is often deemed woke.
There is a guy on Facebook Shorts who reads banned children's books and he read "And Tango Makes Three" and I agree it's a great book and a great true story. But then those into book banning don't want to be educated on anything that doesn't support their narrow view of the word. Some of the reasons they want to ban a book are so shallow, like one book had an illustration of the back of a naked boy running away from something, called it pornographic.
DeleteA couple of retired teachers in our book club mirrored what you wrote about it being obvious in very young children. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I loved this book and it opened my understanding of a subject I hadn't ever given a lot of thought to.. I did write about it on my own blog last year.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you have a blog! I'm adding it to my blog roll so I don't miss posts in the future.
Deletewhat a great blog! As usual. Jodi Picoult is one of my favorite authors. She's so good about presenting moral dilemmas in a way that could alter my own opinion. She makes me think! Sorry I'm late to the comments ... out sick last week!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you're doing better now. You are right about Picoult's special gift as a writer. She not only makes us think but also makes us care about the characters.
DeleteI think the people who believe that God created two and only two distinct sexes are the same people who think God created humans as totally separate from and dominant over all the rest of creation. Anyone who pays careful attention to the plant and animal kingdoms can see the extraordinary range of sex and gender variations out there in creation.
ReplyDeleteThis election is really bringing out the two-and-only-two believers in full force. Most of the books they want banned from the libraries touch on gender topics. What are they afraid of? That they might not be who they want to believe they are?
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