Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Saturday, April 12, 2014

The Week That Flew By


It’s been one of those weeks when I was busy all the time but at the end, there wasn’t much that stood out as being worth taking up space in my memory bank or my blog. Not being memorable can actually be a good thing because that rules out a whole host of bad things that could have happened. No funerals to attend. No falling down and going boom in the night that required a trip in an ambulance. No bills came I can’t pay. I’m still old---that hasn’t changed---but, jeez, I’m not dead and according to Marlo Thomas’ new book, It Ain’t Over…Till It’s Over, I still have plenty of time to reinvent my life and chase my dreams. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of obvious things like that.

I did have one outing this week that is worth mentioning. For our April walk-about my Red Hat Society Chapter finally made it downtown to the dinosaur exhibit. We tried to go once before but the line was too long so we went to plan B. I don’t really care about dinosaurs. As fast as the world is changing I’ll be one myself soon enough. Like yesterday when my WiFi quit working and it took me over an hour to get the darn thing working again. A seven year old probably could have done it in five minutes. But as exhibits go, it was impressive and it took us two hours to view all the animatronic dinosaurs, the feather, dung and head fossils and the full skeletons. I learned that dinosaurs are now believed to be the ancestors of modern birds, not reptiles as people in my age bracket were taught decades ago and they are still digging up dinosaurs fossils today which are in big demand on the black market. Who knew you could get millions of dollars for a pile of old bones to reconstruct? And what does one do with a dinosaur in a private home? They don’t have folklore properties like ground-up rhino horns that are erroneously believed to help a guy get a hard-on. But who decides these things? And why can’t we just supply the rhino horn buyers with a lifetime supply of Viagra and save the destruction of those butt-ugly-but-still-beautiful-at-the-same-time animals? Let those rhino buying guys wear themselves out to the point of extinction. Sometimes the simplest answer to a problem is right before our eyes.

This week I also got two phone calls on my husband’s birthday from longtime friends. It was nice to know that others still remember and miss him as much as I do. It’s weird knowing I’m now officially older than he was when he died. And my brother and sister-in-law are taking me out for dinner on Sunday to mark the occasion of both Don’s and my birthday. I won the in-law lottery with those two. About the only thing I could ever do wrong in their eyes is to shoot a polar bear. I could understand their admiration back when Don was alive…they had a big stake in me staying healthy and happy to take care of Don since they were next in line as power of attorney. But with Don no longer in the picture they still hang in there with me and not all widows can say that about their in-laws. In fact, I can say that about all of his family. I am still one of them and for that I am grateful.

Next week is move-in time for my new antique booth and this past week was devoted to getting everything ready. Thankfully, I have a good friend who will help me move in my heavy showcase. He’s like the son we never had. He’s one of these extremely busy, do-good types who spreads himself too thin and has a big family that he is devoted to. So I don’t see him more than a handful of times a year, but he calls often and has always been there to volunteer to help when I’ve needed it. In fact, this time he actually called me to tell me about this booth opening up and urged me to rent it. He’s got a booth in the same mall, so I’m hoping we’ll cross paths often as we restock. He’s a crazy, upbeat kind of person who never seems to age. Just fun to be around and don’t we all need more people like that in our lives.(Wow, who knew I'd be writing an ode to Tim today?)

I’ve got a busy but fun week ahead. Besides the move-in mall business I have a Thai cooking class on my schedule and my Movie and Lunch Club meets. Then at the end of the week I’m going to a surprise birthday party for my brother---not to worry, he doesn't owe a computer and won't see this. I can’t wait to visit my family. I haven’t seen them since last fall. (Well, except for a baby shower in January where I saw the female half.) I wish they didn’t live so far away, but they do so that just makes the times when I do see them all the sweeter. ©

10 comments:

  1. I would like a pile of Dinosaur dung in the corner of my living room--just imagine the explanation when people ask--it would be neat. Hm-mm, I wonder--I could probably go out to The Farm and find a pile of cow dung, which has aged appropriately as no cows have been on the property for over 15 years. Then I could pass it off as pre-historic? I have a busy week ahead too, but it involves doctors and dentists--not one of my favorite pastimes. "Everything will be all right in the end. If everything isn't all right, then, it isn't the end." The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

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    1. Do it! If you've seen one dung pile, you've seen them all. Dinosaur dung looks kind of like a kid was trying to make a mini volcano for a class.

      That's one of the best movie lines of the decade. Love it and hope you get all good news from your appointments next week.

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    2. Really glad you have someone to help you with the heavy things and...I think it is absolutely wonderful that you in-laws still see you. After all--they were part of your family too!!

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    3. Me, too. When I move out I plan on selling the showcase to one of the other dealers so I won't have have that heavy thing to move again. It's really not very big...just too big for a woman of my age. LOL

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  2. I'm picturing those guys wearing themselves out to the point of extinction. LOL

    How neat that you are still part of Don's family! And that your brother and s-I-l are taking you out for a double birthday celebration. You get to bask in the glow... Happy Birthday, Jean!!

    I look forward to any tips you get from the Thai cooking class. Hope they're easy. So far if any meal preparation takes more than three steps, I call take out instead. My new 10 pounds can't be called 'extra' if they've been on a year, can they?

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    1. Thank you. I had a good time this weekend with many unexpected calls and going out with in-laws...really lifted my spirits.

      I don't expect Thai cooking to be easy since the class is three hours long. There is a wine tasting that goes with it, so at the end it probably won't matter how the food tastes. LOL

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  3. I got a few laughs here today, the rhino guys not the least of them.

    I'm glad that you have good in-laws. I bet you're a good in-law, too. And Tim is a winner, too.

    Spring is here so maybe you won't have to cancel your future plans every time you turn around.
    Thanks for the laughs.

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    1. Can you believe it, we have a dusting of snow right now and more coming tonight. They say everything but the streets and parking lots will be white by daybreak!

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    2. SHUT UP! Snow????? We had 75 and sunny at the Oregon coast this weekend! But who knows what the wind will blow here next. It's nice to get some sunshine every week.

      Back to file my IRS extension!

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    3. They lied. They said a dusting of snow but this morning I'm looking out at 3 inches covering everything including the asphalt roads and the sidewalks. And it's still coming down.

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