My nieces threw a surprise 75th birthday party for my older brother a few days ago. (He canceled the one he and his girlfriend were going to throw together.) It was so good to see everyone in the family except my brand new great-great nephew and his parents who live out of state. My brother was thoroughly surprised and everyone loved the photo book I made and had printed at Blurb. It’s going to be a good summer for family get-togethers---two showers and a wedding invitation are already filed in the pages of my day planner and I’m working on a cousin’s get-together at the cottage where I spent all the summers of my youth.
Easter was good, too. The night before I got a call from my niece-in law asking me to join her huge family for dinner out in the boondocks. It was her mother’s first Easter without her husband and I think the invitation had something to do with that, but she was fine---seemed to be holding herself together pretty well and enjoying herself with all her kids and grandchildren around. Most of the adults in attendance and I have crossed paths for 42 years of going to weddings, showers and funerals so I didn’t feel entirely out of place. At one point in the afternoon five of her grandsons packed their babies up in their strollers, grabbed a beer or wine cooler and off they all went for a walk around the lake while we women folk sat in a sun circle talking. If someone 40-50 years age would have told me how much attitudes about fatherhood joys and duties would change I wouldn’t have believed it. But I think all the hands-on stuff is good for guys, their families and society. Why should women get all the fun and bonding time with their kids? Time to share, ladies.
As fellow blogger Belle Rum over at Cul-de-Sac-Chronicles recently wrote: “We make traditions and we keep them for years. Then things change. Kids grow up and move to another city, loved ones die and we are left to celebrate even when it doesn’t feel like a time to celebrate.” My own family’s holiday traditions fell apart years ago when my mom died, new ones were born, then reborn again and again---the last time to fit my husband’s disabilities. (Wheelchairs limit your invitation venues big time.) This is my third Easter without Don and new traditions have not yet been established, so I was grateful to grab a little holiday spirit, even if vicariously through someone else’s family. These past few years since Don died I’ve been the elderly aunt passed around on the holidays, never quite belonging anywhere yet never quite an outcast or third wheel either. Life is full of mystery and sometimes I wish mine was like a book and I could sneak a peek at the last chapter to see if holiday traditions ever find me again. Or is this it, the new normal for me? Am I now officially living in the land Pass-Around Widows, never knowing from one holiday to another where we’ll be next? ©
I would guess UTI--I had one a month ago and took my dental antibiotics for it and it went away. Then I had to re-order the pills for the dental work I am having. Oh well--whatever works! Yes--it amazes me too how hands-on daddies are nowadays. When a child falls and gets hurt--he runs to whichever parents is nearest. Back in my day--Momma had all that--daddies never changed a diaper, bathed a child or dressed it, nowadays--well--it is quite a good thing. I didn't even see any family today, but it was all right. I enjoyed watching the Tigers win and then out to supper with neighbors. It's cool--whatever.
ReplyDeleteThat's good to know you dental antibiotics worked for you. We both take the same thing. The older I get the more often I seem to be getting UTIs.
DeleteGlad you had a good Easter. If I had had to stay at home alone it would have been okay, too, but it was nice to be invited out. But I'm getting too old for back to back drives to the boondocks. I came home and took a 2 hour nap and I usually don't nap during the day.
UTI - Now I know we can talk about anything on our blogs. LOL! Speaking of writing anything; my mind goes into the gutter with the phrase "pass around widow". Ouch!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had a good Easter. My Easter plans surfaced last minute, much like yours.
I'm curious. Have you ever hosted a holiday, or a group at your home? I've done so a few times, enough to realize the entertaining gene was in the fellow I married. So I've become pretty good at slipping into family members' plans, then reciprocating by taking them out to breakfast if I stay overnight or out to dinner when they visit. They seem to enjoy the treat. No fuss, no muss.
"Pass Around Widow" sounds like the title of a sleazy book, doesn't it. Oh, and this is the second time I've written about getting UTI and the ceiling didn't fall in. LOL
DeleteI've had a couple of dinner parties with just two other couples and two large parties with around 60 people each. The only thing I enjoy about entertaining is picking out the table settings and decor. The entertaining gene is completely void in my DNA. I would have entertained my family without getting too stressed out but they all live a long distance away so it was never practical for them to do the traveling to my house when they all live within a few miles of each other.
Add up all those guests and you've met your entertainment quota for the remainder of your life! It was such a relief when I let myself off the hook for hosting 'parties'. It's informal from now on - real life clutter and dust balls included.
DeleteYeh! I left one party off my earlier list, too. I forgot I had hosted a Red Hat queen crowning party years ago. You gotta love hosting which I don't, so I'm glad I'm "off the hook." Thanks. LOL
Delete"For a week now my urine smells like fried chicken and I haven’t eaten any in months. But every time I pee lately I want to go to KFC."
ReplyDeleteThat is a great opening line of a comedic novel. So funny.
It's funny how our presence is wanted so much for holidays when we are young. Our in-laws want us. Our own parents want us, and we have friends who want us. When we get older, we sometimes wait for an invitation. I'm glad you spent the day with family. It sounds like you enjoyed it. Our Easter was good, too. Holidays have a way of pointing out what's lacking, and it's nice when things work out.
I enjoy your blog so much.
Thank you for the high compliment! I would give anything to be able to write a comedic novel but I can't plot my way out of a paper bag.
DeleteI'm glad your first Easter without your dad when well. It was wise that your family went ahead with it. If you hadn't I fear the tradition would have fallen by the wayside like it did with my family.
Oops! And one more thing. You taught me my new thing for the day. Never have I heard of Maple Syrup Urine Disease. Not ever.
ReplyDeleteI laughed when I found that. We tend to think of diseases of having unpronounceable names and that one sure doesn't. It has to do with the body not being able to process a certain protein building blocks (amino acids) properly. Babies that are born with it can have brain damage and die if not treated.
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