Back in the Game Again

Five days, five appointments this week. Ready or not I’m back in the game only we have a new umpire in charge called Covid-19. Covid-19 is an evil umpire who calls people out who didn’t do anything wrong and his calls are slower than the slowest pitch on record. We can go out and about wearing our masks and social distancing but we have to wait two weeks to see if the virus tags us and umpire orders us off the playing field. It’s a brave new world out there. In no particular order my appointments included getting nearly naked for the dermatologist, getting that long awaited haircut, having my air conditioner serviced, having lunch in the park with my Gathering Girls pals and I got my rain gutters cleaned out.

Getting my gutters cleaned out turned out to be annoying because it pointed out how wimpy I am when someone challenges my sense of business ethics and political opinions. The job took the guy a half hour and he apologized for having to charge his minimum rate of $125 but I was fine with that---his insurance rates for doing roof and ladder work have to be horrendous. Then he said if I could pay in cash he’d make it $100. I didn't have that much cash on hand and even if I did I still wouldn’t have gone for that deal because you know those cash payments aren’t being claimed on his income tax. “So what?” you ask. It makes it harder for competitors who don’t cheat the IRS to compete fair and square in the market place. His business cards have Bible scriptures on them---not uncommon where I live--- however, it ticks me off when Christians claim moral superiority at the same time they are doing something unethical that my husband and I never did when we were in business.
 

When the guy got ready to leave he asked how I was doing and I said, “Given all the stuff we’ve been dealing with this year, I’m doing okay.” That was all it took to get him started with the Trump sock puppet talk: Yadda, yadda, yadda, and “The president should sent in the Army to stop those protesters.” I pointed out that it’s against the constitution to use our military against U.S. citizens. And he replies, “I’m not so sure of that. There are lawyers all over the place and they would said something if that were true.” Hello!!!! Lots of lawyers, constitutional scholars and top military men have called out the president for saying he'd send in the federal troops if governors didn't stop the protests. Then he says, “I think Trump was called up by God to stop all the corruption in Washington and we have to make sure he gets four more years to get the job done.”

I would have liked to have screamed, “Get off my porch!” but aside from being speechless, I’m not confrontational face-to-face. Instead, I worked on perfecting the ‘icy-stare of disapproval’ until he wound himself down like a leaky balloon. What gulls me is how a near stranger can look at a white woman like me and just assume I’m going to agree with his not-so-thinly veiled racist comments about "those people" and all that destruction "over one man dying while getting arrested." I’ve had that happen often enough that I’ve wondered, what do people like him think a liberal Democrat looks like? Do they think we all have horns growing out of our heads? Do they assume we're all inner-city minorities? I need to take that icy-stare of disapproval up a notch because sock puppets are not as good at reading body language as they used to be. 

Leaving the low point of my week behind, let me tell you about my high point…the first Gathering Girls brunch since March. With the stay-at-home orders recently lifted, five of the seven of us were happy to to meet up again (two couldn't make it). Restaurants in Michigan are open, but they are only allowed to operate at 50% capacity and they are placing time limits on how long you can linger with a meal and who can blame them? Aside from that, two of us aren’t willing to chance going into restaurants so soon, while the other three ladies had already done it since they’ve re-opened. Long story short I scouted out a little park near-by where the five of us each brought our own food from home or take out and we social distanced ourselves at long picnic tables under a pavilion on a beautiful, sunny day for 2 1/2 hours.

Our conversation was more subdued than in the past and with all our country’s been through this year I was not surprised. We did have some good belly laughs though and we poked fun of our uncut and uncolored hair and I learned who I’m not sitting near the next time we meet. One lady confessed that she’s been bad and was sneaking out and about for several weeks, even before the stay-at-home orders were lifted. I told her, “You kissed dead on the mouth last year with your cancer bout no wonder you’re not afraid of dying from Covid-19, but I still am!” She knows how to take a joke and repeated the line about kissing death on the mouth several times, saying she wanted to remember that one to tell her daughter. But germaphobic that I am, I was wishing I could have scooted myself farther down the table from her since I was sitting only five, not six feet away. All and all it was wonderful being with friends again and we’re going to restart our bi-monthly schedule. I’m back in the game of life again. I just hope I’m not sowing the seeds of my own demise.  ©