Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, June 6, 2020

My Totally Boring, Extremely Exciting Day of Normal Routine in Abnormal Times


It was Thursday, the day the New York Times called the memorial service in Minneapolis for George Floyd “a somber moment after days of anger and unrest.” I’m sure I don’t have to remind anyone that Mr. Floyd was the black man killed by a white police officer who kept a knee pressed on his neck for eight minutes and 46 seconds.

I didn’t see the service. By the time it started I had already hopped out of bed a couple of hours earlier than I’ve been doing during the pandemic lock down, had my breakfast, a shower and had taken the dog for a long walk. Ohmygod, it felt good to feel ‘normal’ again, like I had a purpose for getting out of bed after weeks of not caring if I did or not. The governor of Michigan had finally lifted the stay-at-home orders a few days before and I was ready to run some errands. We’re still supposed to use social distancing and masks but that didn’t damper my joy; I’m prepared to do that all summer long if it helps prevent a second wave of the Covid-19 virus.

The sun was shining and my first stop of the day was to drop the dog off for a haircut. The beauty and nail salons in our state are still not free to open up until June 15th so I thought I was being cute when I asked Levi’s groomer if he’d book me for an appointment in his Foo-Foo Doggie Beauty Parlor. He laughed and said everyone is asking him the same question. Next I stopped at the post office where the thin plastic sheets that were hung haphazardly from the ceiling the last time I was there three months ago had been replaced with permanent Plexiglas separating the breaths of customers and clerks. I’ve been using the postal office’s pick up service for my e-Bay sales which is efficient and easy but I’ve truly missed seeing the counter girls, Miss Mary Sunshine and Ms. Grumpy Pants. I wasn’t mailing e-Bay packages though. I had a large box to send off to the postal stamp museum out East after finally getting verification on what one of my blog readers told me. Yes they do, indeed, accept stamp donations for their educational program. It cost me $16.00 in shipping fees and well worth for it for the bragging rights to another successful placement from Jean’s Antiques Adoption Center.

After leaving the post office I went to the dollar store and if there’s a heaven, someone please cover up my dad’s ears when I tell you how much fun I had leisurely strolling up and down their aisles. I only bought a package Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, a can of Pringles and a six pack of Orange Crush but I felt like a million bucks picking out the purchases I didn't need and could have easily done without. Why, you ask, would I not want my dad to know? It's embarrassing to admit this but here's the back story: After we took Dad's driver’s license and car keys away from him five years before he died I was his chauffeur for his weekly dates with his girlfriend and wherever she wanted to go, that’s where Dad wanted me to take them. The choice of fast food places always depended on which place had the best coupons but for all five years, their dates always ended with a trip to a dollar store. And twenty, twenty-five years ago when that was going on I was a dollar store snob. I was convinced the merchandise had been stolen off the back of 18 wheelers and I refused to buy anything off their shelves. I never told Dad how I felt about the place but he probably still knew I was being snobbish because many times I didn't even go inside while they shopped. 

Fast forward twelve years later after my husband died, I found myself shopping a nearby dollar store every time I ran errands because I didn’t want to go home to an empty house. Sorry, Dad, your daughter turned out to be a hypocrite. Sorry to Don (my husband) too who heard me grumble about dollar stores so often I doubt he’d ever been to one. We grow. We soften. We do about-faces and hope no one notices our former snobbery.

After the dollar store adventure I swung back around to pick Levi up from the groomers. It’s across the street from Starbucks and I hadn’t been there since early March when the pandemic shut them down. It’s been open for a couple of weeks but the one time I was near it the line was so long I didn’t want to wait just to say I did it. But Levi is spoiled and he has his routines too and getting a pup-appuccino after a haircut is one of them. Ohmygod, if felt so good to be there! The girl at the takeout window was super upbeat and chatty and she was properly impressed by my ‘pretty boy’ hanging his head out the backseat window. I got a bacon and Gouda sandwich and a S’mores Frappuccino and the two us drove a short distance away, parked under our tree where I thoroughly enjoyed our lunch and my totally boring, extremely exciting day of normal routine in abnormal times. ©

52 comments:

  1. I love the story about the dollar store. Life is so much more fun when we enjoy the simple things. :D

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    1. Dad's girlfriend absolutely loved going to the dollar store. She was like the proverbial kid in a candy store.

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  2. The totally boring has indeed now become the extremely exciting, hasn't it? Lock Down has made me appreciate the simple mundane things that I actually always enjoyed doing, but couldn't so much, if at all, during Closures and Plague Fear gripping us and holding us Hostage. We've begun to venture out, still being Careful and Guarded, yet we just can't live in Fear or in indefinite Lock Down either, that isn't a Life that would be an Existence and I'm short on Years to waste any I might have left, COVID and Civil Unrest be damned to stop me from seeking as much Normal to our Routines now as we can possibly muster in these Abnormal times.

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    1. We really do take a lot of granted in our everyday routines. I want those times back but not at the expense of burying my head in the sand as to what is going on in the world. Just looking for the balance.

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    2. And a delicate Balance it is to find! You need to Blog more, I need good Reading material... winks.

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    3. I've got eight years of old blog posts in my sidebar you could read. LOL

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  3. What a perfect day for you and Mighty Levi. Everything was a Treat! It's just how I feel the first day I don't have to wear a coat on my walk, or the first day strawberries appear in farm markets, or the first time I can open up my windows and air out the house. Simple pleasures that feel like Rewards after Going Without for so long. Enjoy your Return To Normalcy, little by little.

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    1. If nothing else the pandemic has taught us to appreciate the little things, hasn't it. Right now I'm enjoying having all the windows open and fresh air coming in. "Return to Normalcy" would make a great blog title.

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  4. I am delighted to hear you were able to be out and about! I too am taking great pleasure in the very small outings that would have felt like chores previously. Do we get to see a photo of Levi with his new "do"?

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    1. Thanks, I'm delighted too.

      Levi doesn't look all that different than photo in my side bar. But next time I'll try to take a picture of him at Starbucks hanging out the window. All I have to do is say that word and he gets excited.

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  5. What a fun--normal day. Amazing what gets us excited anymore. For me it is mowing the lawn. Feeling the warm sun on my arms and back while I am in complete control of the rider. Then the neat results give me great pleasure. What use to be "oh dear gotta mow today" has turned into "hot dog, I get to mow today."

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    1. There is nothing better to smell on a lovely summer day than fresh-cut grass. I haven't mowed a lawn in decades but I can imagine how good it feels to accomplish that task.

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  6. It's the little things - really - that make us happy and are so often overlooked. We don't realize this until they are gone. At least, that's how it works for me. Lovely post, Jean!

    Deb

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    1. Thanks, Deb. I've always known I'm a routine kind of person but the pandemic has driven that fact home big time.

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  7. So true, Jean. Early on in the pandemic response, I came across Daily Quarantine Questions in A Boomer Girl's Guide blog. One of the questions was - What expectations of normal am I letting go of today? I was pondering this question as I was cleaning the bathroom and came to realize that there was still a lot of normal, like housework, meal planning/prep, my daily routine around home. I came to realize that I needed to let go of the mental restrictions I had imposed upon myself. So many of the comments I've read allude to mindfulness and joy in simple pleasures, i.e. the smell of fresh-cut grass, birdsong, changing seasons, the vegetables poking up through the soil, conversations with friends, anticipating hugging the granddaughters. I'm reading Neil Pasricha's "The Book of Awesome". I would add many of the simple pleasures I revel in. The simple becomes the AWESOME.

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    1. Living in the moment, mindfulness...all those 'plan for a simpler life came hard for me (and still do) at this unique point in our history. Glad you found your balance early on.

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    2. "The Book of Awesome" would be a great one to read right now. Thanks for reminding me. I used to get his emails every day, I wonder if he still does that. I'm off to do some research.

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  8. My oldest daughter works at the Dollar General in our hometown. I have never been in one because I thought like you used too. Maybe I will try it just to see. We have 3 different kinds around here and only one sells things for just a dollar. The other two sell things from $1.00 up.

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    1. We have different kinds around here too. I only go to the one close by and only when I'm bored or don't want to go home so soon after running an errand. I never go with a goal in mind to find something in particular. They are HUGE chains that have put a lot of little independent stores out of business in my opinion. So my snobbery is still lurking around just dulled over the years. LOL

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  9. FREE at last! Man, I am so not there yet. I'm not sure I'm ready for the cataract surgery, annual physical and lady parts visit as well as the dentist. Protest cities are already seeing a spike in new cases ...

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    1. I saw the eye doctor last week as well and don't need cataract surgery this summer. Add my annual physical via phone call and just have the dentist, skin doctor and bone doctor ahead and my infusion.

      Covid-19 spikes again? Yikes! Guess we'd better not let any grass grow under our feet in case a new lock-down comes around.

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  10. Yes, there are some silver linings in the virus situation for sure, and you've discovered a few of them today, yeah! Over here we are going out to a winery patio dinner tomorrow with live music and I'm about to pass out from excitement. So if the ordinary becomes special again, I think that is a lovely byproduct of this all.

    Well done!

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    1. Learning to appreciate the ordinary sure is a nice silver lining, isn't it. Stay safe at the winery. Sounds like lots of fun!

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  11. My sister loved the dollar store, but I'd never set foot in one until she wanted to go while visiting us. I liked it. I go there all the time now. I went a couple of days ago and bought birthday cards. You can't beat 50 cents for a card. When my great nieces were little, I'd go there and fill three bags with brightly colored feathery boas and glasses and pens and tablets and coloring books and all sorts of stuff. It made me such a hero.

    I can feel your enthusiasm. It feels so good to get out of the house. My favorite store, Marshalls, is open now. I haven't been yet.

    Levi is such sweetie.

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    1. Dollar stores are like the old dime stores of my youth. I don't know why I a had a cob up my butt about them for so many years.

      I'd like to apologize to you and any other redheads reading this for what I wrote in my next blog coming Wednesday, 6/10. LOL

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  12. It does feel good to get out, doesn't it? With the protestors not social distancing, however, a second wave of Covid is almost inevitable!

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    1. I know! And that potential second wave is just enough pressure for me to get stuff going like lining up window repair services, gutter cleaning, etc.

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  13. I don't love ALL dollar stores but I adore Dollar Tree because everything IS a dollar! Glad you were able to get things going -- well done. I still don't feel good going out. Our cases in our county went up yesterday (and in other counties I'm following). Still laying low!

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    1. The one near my house is a Dollar General but I've been to a Dollar Tree in a different neighborhood and there IS a difference.

      I doubt I'll go to a sit-down restaurant this summer or to places like Lowe's. I haven't been doing drive-thru or pick ups for food either and I won't be doing that anytime soon. I'm hoping to drop off some stuff at Goodwill and the library, and bottle return by the end of the month.

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  14. What a fun read, you made me smile! I'm "collecting" feel good post☺

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    1. We could all use a few more fun reads, couldn't we. My next post in the scheduler is also fun.

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  15. If you love five and dime stores, you'll love Dooley's here in Fredericksburg, Texas! The floors are wooden and creak when you walk on them. The display cases are wooden too. Here's a video tour:

    https://youtu.be/wnn3hk2Um-k

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    1. Wow, that place is something else!!! I would love all the ceramics and dishes which the dollar stores around her don't have. And what looked like oil clothe on rolls?

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    2. Yes, they do have oil cloth, just like they used to use for table cloths. Most items aren't what you'd call inexpensive. (Priced for the tourist trade.) But I try to visit the store at least a couple times a year just for the fun of it. Used to go with the grandkids, but they're 18 and 19 now, so no fun. This store reminds me of Woolworth's and Newberry's in California where I grew up in the 50's. Same set up with the wooden display tables. I used to love to go there with my mother. She would be up on the mezzanine looking at fabric while I checked out the toys. Simpler time for sure...

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  16. You're exactly right about the dime store and the Dollar Store being akin to one another. There was nothing better than being given a quarter to spend at the dime store exactly as I pleased. You could get a lot for a quarter, and I think part of the Dollar Store charm is that it is guilt free. Besides, I get a lot of things there, especially at holiday time, that are so much more expensive in other stores. Last Christmas, I bought a dozen plastic cookie containers -- good sized ones -- for a dollar each. Even at the grocery store, they were $3.99. Even my poor brain can figure out the better buy in that case!

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    1. I don't remember the old dime stores as having food in them other than candy and a lunch counter. The lunch was my favorite. As a teenager I remember taking the bus downtown to shop and we'd always eat at the Woolworth's lunch counter. The record stores were one of my favorites, though. They had little listening rooms where you could play what you thought you might want to buy with glass walls so no one could hide out in them.

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    2. I'd forgotten those listening rooms, and the opportunity to preview records. The one I favored had headphones rather than individual rooms, and there always was a line of kids listening but not buying! LOL

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    3. I'd forgotten about those huge headphones! I remember there was a time limit on how long you could preview a record.

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  17. Sounds like a lovely outing! And your Dollar Store mind change reminded me of a favorite quote. It was from a book I really didn't even like, but this stuck with me: "But now it seems possible that the truth about getting older is that there are fewer and fewer things to make fun of until finally there is nothing you are sure you will never be."

    The salons are opening a day before my next schedule appt. Nothing I have read or heard in a long time has made me as happy as that announcement. It almost make the next 10 days bearable. Almost. And I'm working hard to avoid the scissors myself and make things worse. Ha!

    Despite a delay, it appears we will FINALLY close on our house sale this week. Of course, it's not over until it's over. But things are looking positive with all issue resolved as far as we can see. Neither of us will relax until it's a done deal, but we feel hopeful today.

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    1. I've resisted thinning my hair as well. I didn't mind looking shabby while everyone else is in the same basket but won't last long. Those poor girls are going to be working long hours once they open. I know my shop extended their schedules.

      So glad your closing is happening so soon!

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  18. It's my observation that Dollar Stores have gotten better over the years. I was leery of them like you were for the same reasons, but now they seem a bit more, for lack of a better word, *grand* than they used to be. Glad you found some treasures while you shopped there.

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    1. You're right. When I was taking my dad and his lady friend there weren't very many dollar stores around and their merchandise didn't seem consistence like it is now.

      The treasure I found last week was the freedom to shop.

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  19. Nice to see you are open and able to go out and about. I'm sure that felt fabulous to you!
    I don't even know if when we open if I would go to that many places. I have a hair appointment later in the month because they have opened in phase 1 as of today. I am fearful but I also have a bridal shower to attend or I wouldn't do it. It's been 4 months since my last hair cut/color. I am frightful.

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    1. We're kind of open. The restaurants will only be able to have 50% occupancy and some are saying they will just continue curbside instead because they can't open up the dinning rooms and make a profit at only 50%.

      We'll have salons open next week and I have an appointment. I am frightful, too, but as long as everyone else is too, I don't care. LOL

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  20. Love your "dollar store" story! Here in the UK we have "pound shops". My late mum sounds like your dad. Whenever I took her shopping we had to make a visit to the pound shop. Got lots and lots of bargains there!

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    1. "Pound Shops"--- why am I not surprised that this kind of store concept is world-wide. Makes me smile.

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  21. This made me smile today. I needed that. :)

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  22. I am glad you were able to do some shopping and find some bargains. I have gone out a bit more to shop but after yesterday I am putting the brakes back on. Too many people not even trying to stay socially distant and now we are also getting tourists. There are new cases now instead of fewer. Ah well, fun while it lasted.
    I love the Dollar Tree and Dollar General for a lot of things. I try to save wherever I can and am too poor to be a snob about where I shop. Groceries here are extremely high and going up by the day.

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    1. I haven't been out since that day but I suspect people are going to give up on the social distancing and masks without the daily reminders in the media...since that got knocked out of the headlines.

      Stay safe!

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