Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Dogs and Good Friends

 

It’s been thirteen days since the dog has three teeth pulled and his gums treated with a process where they put cement-like stuff along his receding gum line to keep bacteria and germs from getting down inside and causing puss pockets. A normal dog has 42 teeth, Levi has fifteen left and the ones he has left are the most important ones for eating and keeping his tongue from falling out of him mouth. He’s twelve years old and in human years that makes him 84, way older than my great-niece who had a Facebook posting today announcing that she’s scheduled to get most of her teeth pulled and will end up having a full denture plate on top and a partial plate on the bottom. I was shocked. She has children who aren’t even old enough to be in school yet. She wrote that the pain was daily and she couldn’t stand it anymore and she didn’t want any lectures on how she should have taken been care of her teeth. I left a comment about sending healing thoughts and hugs her way and Levi got an extra helping of sympathy at the same time. I’ve only had one tooth pulled in my entire life, knock on wood, and if I’ve ever had a toothache it wasn’t bad enough to remember.

Tomorrow Levi can go back to having hard food and treats again and not a minute too soon. He’s been a royal pain with his fussy eating and begging and I’m SO ready for him to go back to his regular fare. I bought him two weeks’ worth of canned foods that he had zero interest in so I gave it to my house cleaning girl for her dog rather than return it to the pet store and possibly exposing myself to Covid-19 again. Frankly I don’t blame Levi, that stuff looks disgusting. In its place I’ve had to soak his regular kibble in warm water for him to eat. I don’t know what that stuff is made of but it takes FOREVER to soften up…a good half hour. It’s a half hour of hell and frustration because I keep forgetting to factor that into our dinner hour. He likes to eat when I do. Don’t let anyone tell you schnauzer stubbornness is a myth. I’ve had dogs all my life and even after twelve years Levi and I are still fighting over who is the boss in this house. Hey, lady, where is my dinner? You should have served me fifteen minutes ago! I swear he’s got a clock in his head that gets the signals sent out from Fort Collins in Colorado that keeps all the atomic clocks in the our country in sync.

Thursday the son-I-wish-I-had was here to pick up a load of stuff to drop off at the auction house. I love that guy and it pains me that he’s a Trump supporter. He’s also a devout Christian, a straight-as-an-arrow honest person with a wild sense of humor and a ton of grandchildren. He married his childhood sweetheart, both virgins on their wedding night and they are totally devoted to one another. I try so hard to understand how he can support a man with no character, no moral compass, who lies about all things large and small. All I can really pin point regarding his support for Trump is that he lives in a small town of under 3,000 people, in the reddest of red rural counties and he’s totally surrounded by people who are FOX devotees. 

When I asked him how he can support such a mean-spirited person whose words and actions are so un-Christian he said, “I’m not voting for a minister, I have one of those.” I told him the president has made us lose our standing in the world but he sees that as plus, likes the go-it-alone isolationism that Trump brings to the table. On the pandemic he said that Trump can't do anything more than he does because we're not supposed to be a Federalist country and it's up to the states to deal with it. I didn’t try to change his opinion on anything, where would I even start? But hearing him talk I'm worried about the election because I know so many people who are planning to vote Trump back into office. I’ve even questioned if I’m not the one who is brain-washed, that I’m not seeing any of the so-called good things that Trump has done for our country. And I keep coming back to ‘hell, no!’ All I see is divisiveness, disrespect for the Rule of Law and incompetence.

The son-I-wish-I had was here for two and a half hours and we had a great visit! We touched on a dozen topics, swapping e-Bay stories, sharing memories of good time. We talked local auctions verse Market Place and we bartered a couple of great deals that made us booth extremely happy. He’s going to paint my porch ceiling and four outside door trims in exchange for me giving him my 1920s Hoosier cabinet. And we bartered him digging up Levi’s fire hydrant so I can sell it and moving an oak bookcase from one room to another for a 1902 Malt Maker that I had put in the auction lot he was here to pick up. He’s lusted after both pieces for a long time. It was a win-win deal for both of us and it felt like old times. We've had a bartering history that goes back nearly forty years. ©

47 comments:

  1. I love the picture/joke! I'm glad Levi can start eating normal food again and that you had a great visit with the son-you-wish-you-had. :)

    I'm listening to Trump's nieces's book, Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man. It's interesting and depressing too, of course.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can get lost looking for funny dog memes.

      I've got her book on my Amazon Wish List. I've been wondering if it contains anything we don't already know.

      Delete
    2. One of my friends just loaned me that book. I haven't started it, because the news is so depressing already. It's a quick read, at least.

      Delete
    3. I've seen some of her interviews and I'm just not sure it will do anything but confirm what I already know about the president. I'll be interested in your take when you finish it.

      Delete
  2. He got a great deal on that Hoosier cabinet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He did. We figured it would go for around $6-700 but then if I sold it on eBay or the local auction I'd have to pay their fees and end up around $600. Painting the trim on the doors will be time consuming because they need to be scrapped and treated for mold then painted. He's going to furnish the products. He's a neat painter and if I just grabbed one off the internet, who knows what I'll be getting. We have another barter worked out for the actual move. He's got the trucks, dollies and moving pads to do it and I've got an air pump and gas globe he wants.

      Delete
  3. Bartering's a good way to go. I don't do much of it, but only because the occasion rarely arises. I did once trade a year's worth of boat varnishing for a hysterectomy -- it never hurts to have a variety of doctors as customers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's the best barter I've ever hear of, both using skills the other needs and knows the value of.

      Delete
  4. Understand your bewilderment at the SYWYH's loyalty to trump. I have a neighbor like that and she is convinced the pandemic will end on Nov 4th when it can no longer negatively affect him. Yikes, who knew this was like a faucet that could be turned off and on. Think you are right about his surroundings. My neighborhood is like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My friend believes the pandemic is real but thinks it's been politicizes to hurt Trump. I'm not as quick on my feet as I used to be and I wish I'd said "It's politicized because of Trump's uneven treatment of red and blue states." I've seen many statements from my in-laws that say the same thing as your neighbor so that must be the mantra being pumped out by right wing media.

      Delete
    2. P.S. I just saw a Facebook post from my in-laws that says: "Do people realize their GOVERNORS are responsible for how the virus was handled in their state, not their President? Civics 101!" So that's two Trump fans parroting almost the the same lines in less than a week. I wonder were that came from (rolling eyes)

      Delete
  5. Love the doggie picture. Our cocker was thisclose to being put down 3 weeks ago, but medicines and serious family snuggles has given her a new lease on life. Like Levi, Bailey expects to eat with us. She is sure to remind us we are a family...the three of us eat together.

    Next time someone says "I already have a minister," ask if he or she is alright being led by a racist, homophonic, adulterous, immoral lier? None of us are without faults, but Trump has collected enough for a whole village.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's so hard when our pets get sic, isn't it. Glad yours is doing better.

      That would be a good answer in most cases. But I'm not so sure that in a one church town in red rural area that the minister isn't causing Trump's support fan club. It's all about Right-to-Life, anti-gay and gun-rights that some churches sees as worthy of supporting Trump despite his character flaws.

      Delete
  6. Poor Levi. Might not be too late to switch him to a raw food diet. That sure made a big difference in two dogs we've had. A friend who bought a registered Giant Schnauzer from a breeder told him to do that from day one. Never had an issue. Kate would dog sit and he had put each meal together in a bag so she just had to pour it in his bowl ... half a chicken (raw with bones ... bones are GOOD unless they are cooked), broccoli, apples. No grains. And they love raw turkey necks which helps clean their teeth.

    When does Biden choose his VP?

    Bosko (now 16) was started on the grain free food from 6 weeks old and then to raw food when Kate learned about it, maybe ten years ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Levi loves his kibble and cooked veggies when I have them. The raw foods you describe sounds absolutely disgusting and even if he liked it, I wouldn't. LOL Vets have always told us no bones, especially chicken---had two dogs died with bones caught in intestines. I'm surprised the raw food trend includes them. Levi's been a free-feeder since day one and that means kibble 24/7 which he only eats when I eat or occasionally in the middle of the night. He gets a vet approved man-made bone for cleaning teeth.

      I heard Biden was supposed to make up his mind this week but I haven't seen much media this week, though it would have shown up my Facebook feed if he had.

      Delete
  7. Remember when the GOP and their evangelical supporters were all about "family values" and character? That has gone out the window with Trump. We had a man in office with all of that---Obama. Such hypocrisy. And now, Jerry Falwell, Jr. is taking "a leave of absence" from Liberty U. because of his latest scandal aboard his, get this, yacht. His students are supposed to be pious and virginal, but he can whoop it up anyway he wants. It all comes down to do as I say, not as I do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Evangelists in my opinion have lived a double standard for years, they are just more open about it now. I miss the days when the biggest scandal in the FOX News set was when Obama wore a tan suit and Mrs Obama wore a sleeveless dress.

      Delete
  8. Schnauzers sure know how to express the stubborn gene to the fullest. 🤣 Glad to hear Levi will be back to normal soon. I’ll never understand Trump supporters. Very cult-like, in their thinking.

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, yes, Levi and I was just out of the deck when he decided he wanted to go inside. The weather was perfect but anyone who heard him yowl to go inside would think he'd been out for hours instead of20 minutes.

      Cult-like is what is so scary.

      Delete
  9. I think I've eliminated all the Trump supporters from my life since I found that I was unable to have a reasonable conversation with them and neither one of us was going to change our minds. Even though your SYWYH thinks very differently from you, it's nice that you are able to be respectful of each other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have several friends who I couldn't/wouldn't want to cut out of my life who are Trump supporters but I truly love and respect them except for this one issue. we can talk about politics to a point but when I feel like I'm about to pounce, I just say we need to quit talking about this and we stay friendly that way.

      Delete
  10. Poor Levi. Molly understand about soft kibble as she's been eating it this way every day for 8 years. We discovered she had an issue as a puppy with raising her head up and looking at the ceiling after she ate and looking like she was having a hard time swallowing. Soaked kibble has done the trick for us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've heard of dogs having that problem. One guy built his dog a special chair so his dog could sit up like a human to eat.

      Delete
  11. And people stereotype cats as being bossy and imperious! (Although I will admit that I am pretty much subservient to my two huge cats who determine my wakeup time, as determined by their stomachs.)

    I admire you for being able to compartmentalize your politics and personal feelings about 45* and his cult in order to maintain a pleasant and satisfying relationship with TSYWYH. It's so difficult, but like others have said, it's almost like a brainwashing effect for them. I see it as a sort of stubborn ignorance and denial of what the world is really and truly like in this Modern Age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cats make life interesting, don't they. I'd have one if I wasn't allergic. We had them when I was a kid and my parents always had them. Ditto that with my brother and niece and nephew.

      The-Son-I-WIsh-I-Had and I have never gotten heated in our political conversations and never thrown insults like a lot of Trump fans do when they don't have anything else in their tool bag. He's been too good a friend to lose over what I hope will come to an end in November.

      Delete
  12. I'm so sorry Levi and the Niece had to endure major Dental work. I've only had Wisdom Teeth pulled, I was late for them coming in, almost 40 at the time, it was no big Deal because I had an Old Dentist who had tricks up his sleeve and made it simple and painless... didn't even need Novacaine! I was terrified tho', convinced it would be brutal, so the Mental anguish was all I had to Deal with before he had them all out in seconds. *LOL* As for The-Son-You-Wish-You-Had being a Cult Member of the Moron-In-Chief... sadly, I know good people who are Devotees too and their reasoning is quite similar to what he's telling you. They really Believe that tho' he's who he clearly is, nobody can really deny THAT evidence, or his Track record of dubious Businessman... they are so fearful of what Opponents would do for America that they lean heavily on the Extreme Right which he easily manipulates. Vilifying the Far Left also made him Appealing to those who Label themselves Conservative so a Liberal leaning horrifies them and they think we'll become a Socialist Nation. Odd to me that they're fearful of THAT but not of becoming a Totalitarian Nation!? As a Moderate I just think Extremism on either side tends to not be able to process that we don't have to BE an Extremist Nation at all to function optimally. In fact Extremism is what gets many Nations in trouble once an Extremist comes into Power and eliminates Options to be any other kind of way but THEIR way. Politics often reminds me of Organized Religion, both being of the Mindset that their way is the ONLY way and there's no room at the Table for anyone who Believes otherwise and everyone who Believes otherwise is vilified and some kind of Enemy. I think it's Sad. But, I'm glad he's so Helpful and clearly he has virtues, but he will try to Vote in a True Enemy of our way of Life and for that reason I've distanced myself from any Cult Member, I just can't look past what they're all willing to try to justify in Leadership... it makes me realize that deep inside, they've got serious Issues I don't want exposure to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also don't get why far right conservatives today are not afraid of Totalitarianism but run screaming from anything that looks like Socialism. If we'd all just get back to valuing compromises in the House and Senate like they actually did up until Jerry Ford left office no one would have to worry about the extremists on either side. I blame the Tea Party for bringing us the all-or-nothing mind-set in Washington. Our form of government is/was based on a shared a sense of purpose that has been lost over the past few decades.

      Delete
    2. It has, you are spot on there that nobody wants to value healthy compromises anymore or respecting that extremists really are more of a Minority and I honestly think they're just louder and because they're so extreme, they get the bulk of attention.

      Delete
    3. Yup, but we can also say that the current batch of extremists on the right have effectively shut down the more central-leaning Republicans. None of them can speak up without the bully pulpit throwing them to the wolves.

      Delete
  13. I adore the dog photo. At this point if Trump gets re elected is gonna be because Congress (democrats at least halfway responsibke) can't do their rammed jobs and are making him look like a hero. Taking a break in the current economic climate is unforgivable. Get to a fan agreement. I live with to radical democrats who are praising Trump for taking steps Congress did not, because otherwise they are destitute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's scary to hear, Barb, about your house mates. I'm so glad I'm still in the work force and have to worry about job loss and how I'm going to pay my bills. Very sad that so many young people are in that position.

      Delete
    2. Re: these Executive Orders Trump signed. The devil is in the details. I'm not convinced he can make it all happen the way he is bragging he will. Congress still has the power of the purse via the Constitution. However, the deadlock in Congress and his attempts at bypassing them will give him a new drum to bang going into Nov 3.

      Delete
    3. He's getting credit for wanting to help the little guys out of the announcement and it doesn't matter if he can follow through or not.

      Delete
  14. Poor Levi and your poor niece. I hate to have problems with my teeth. H has had several pulled and gotten implants. Those implants are better than real teeth, but very expensive.

    I have a couple of people that I love who voted for Trump. My DIL asked me one time about one of them, "How can you stand it?" I told her, "I can stand it because she is the sweetest person I know and loves us to pieces and would do anything for us."
    I'm happy to say that Trump's handling of COVID-19 was the last straw for her. She told me she would not vote for him in November. I was so happy because I figure if she will not vote for him, there will be a lot of Trump voters who stay home with her. I don't see her voting for Biden, but I can accept that as long as she (and millions of others) doesn't pull the lever for Trump. Let's hope there are not enough people who will stick with him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was shocked that someone as young as my great-niece was losing most of her teeth. I just assumed good dental hygiene kept younger people from having problems like people in my peer age group.

      You feel about your friend like I do about Tim. We have to compartmentalize when it comes to people who are worth keeping in our lives. Before Trump we could and did have lots of friends from the other side of the aisle, but the difference now is that Trump has given many of his followers permission to be nasty and thumb their noses at facts.

      It's encouraging to hear of someone who supported Trump the first time who won't do it this time.

      Delete
  15. Sorry Levi having all those dental issues. I recently read a scientific article that said that old axiom we’ve believed for so long that one year in a dogs life is equal to seven human years isn't true. I don't recall now how they determined true dog ages, but it was an interesting perspective. Don't know if it’s being a widely accepted update in the dog scientific world.

    I enjoy talking with those whose views are different than mine. Often a few choice questions rattle them where Trump is concerned and they start getting real emotional, coming up with far-fetched reasoning explanations for their position. I don't press further, but wonder if later, privately, they might have second thoughts about their view on the matter. Some just can’t seem to handle engaging with someone who doesn't think like they do, resorting to name-calling and labeling — the latter simply muddies the water.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just found the 'New York Times' article about calculating a dog's age in human years. Levi just got younger, being 70 by their way which is based on a study of dog DNA. They said the first five years of a dog's life is equal to 60 human years and then the axiom slows way down. Interesting! Thanks for sharing.

      Sounds like you approach in person politics the same way I do, ask questions and plant seeds, low key no hostile challenging.

      Delete
  16. So sad to read about your niece's teeth. My dad had dentures for much of his adult life, and it's no picnic. My mom was visiting a dentist with a friend as a teen (while friend had an appt - my grandparents had no money for dentists in the Depression), and the dentist volunteered to fix her teeth when he saw them. She still has them at 88, and she was adamant we were all to see the dentist regularly and made us prioritize dental care. I feel lucky when I see pics of some of my peers from h.s.

    Good for you re: getting along with the SYWYH. We completely avoid political topics at family gatherings now unless we are in the company of only those we know aren't Trumpers. This administration has caused more relationship problems on every level of society. I can only hope there is some relief in Nov, but like you, I'm pretty nervous. And Trump is pulling out all the stops on the pandering front. I can only hope for some relief and a national change of direction. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The fillings I got as a teen I had until very recently before they cracked and needed to be replaced. Your mom was so lucky to find a compassionate dentist. I've gone to the dentist twice a year my entire life. I guess I just took it for granted that everyone does/did.

      My side of the family has a few Trump supporters and have always been Republicans. I don't remember any of us bringing up politics at family parties My brother and one niece and I can talk the topic but we don't do it when the others are around. But I can safely say after I move to the other end of town I'll be cutting all ties with my husband's side of the family and all over Trump.

      Delete
  17. When it comes to food dogs are totally awake to any interruptions of their schedule. I remember well how my last dog, Millie, used to “queue up” long before the regular time.

    Isn’t it awful when someone you like is so stupid. How can your helper not see what is in front of his eyes?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! You want to shake some sense into them but you can't. He was a neighbor for 15 years and I know him and his family well. Other than his political position, he's just about the a perfect friend and probably knows me better than just about better than anyone else alive.

      Delete
  18. That has to be so hard, someone you love so much who is so polar opposed politically. A good person, kind, all the right things, except....

    Good for Levi. I'm sure it will be much improved for you both! Happy week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's sad, really. It makes you doubt yourself and your own judgements.

      Levi and I are not both happy to have him back on hard foods and treats.

      Delete
  19. There's something loose in the wiring of these *good* people who support Trump. I'm surrounded by them, too. They see no correlation between words and actions. Trump says something so it must be true. What he does is his own business between him and his maker so it's not their concern. I cannot explain it but I notice, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think a lot of the attraction of Trump is that he promised to shake up D.C. and he's done that. His supporters see it as a promise kept, a good thing. But those of us who have our eyes wide open see what he is doing as destroying institutions and the fabric of our democracy. They don't see that while he's so-called is draining the swamp he's filling it back up with a worst kind of corruption and vicious disrespect for the very things that once made us great.

      Delete

Thanks for taking the time to comment. If you are using ANONYMOUS please identify yourself by your first name as you might not be the only one. Comments containing links from spammers will not be published. All comments are moderated which means I might not see yours right away to publish through for public viewing as I don't sit at my computer 24/7.