Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, October 3, 2020

This, That and the First Debate

Remember the man who showed up at my door a few weeks ago to tell me about a food bank give away his church was holding, no questions asked for anyone in need? I think he and his wife have pegged me as their adopt-a-lonely-widow project. She showed up on my doorstep today from down the street and around the corner with a jar of rhubarb jam in hand and she apologized for not coming down sooner. Mind you, I couldn’t pick either one of them out of a lineup unless the lineup was held in front of their house. Levi and I have stopped to make small talk while out walking when they’re in their yard, but they’ve never been here before. We’ve both lived in the neighborhood for almost 20 years, hadn't even exchanged names, and it seems so weird that all of a sudden they seem to want to make friends. I wish I could shake the feeling that I’m being pitied. I keep wondering if I said something that made them want to reach out like they are apparently doing. “Ouch!” Yes, that’s me kicking myself in the butt. I do vaguely remember a conversation about the pandemic and lack of social contact.

This week I saw the physiatrist who tested me for carpel tunnel. I really didn’t know what a PM&R specialist does but Mr. Google had an answer to that question. It’s a doctor who “treats a wide variety of medical conditions affecting the brain, spinal cord, nerves, bones, joints, ligaments, muscles, and tendons.” After sticking little pads with wires coming out of them all over my fingers and wrist that were connected to a computer and sticking three inch long needles down into the muscles on my right arm he said I’ve got a mild case of carpel tunnel but nothing severe enough to be causing the needles-and-pins feelings I’m getting when I type. He promised to get the report to my bone doctor before my next appointment.

The doctor himself came out to usher me into his exam room and to take my insurance cards. When was the last time you’ve had that happen? I was probably in my early teens the last time I remember seeing a doctor without a receptionist. When was the last time you've heard hard rock blasted into a doctor's waiting room? Me---never until this appointment. He was an interesting guy to talk with. He asked about my prior surgeries and when I told him I’ve had both knee replacements and that it was the best gift I ever gave myself, he latched on to that bit of information. He wanted to know about my recovery and physical therapy afterward and I suspected he’s in the queue to get a new knee himself. I told him I followed my doctor and the PT’s directions to the letter of the law and my knees have never given me a bit of trouble 11 and 13 years out from the replacements. He said 70% of his patients don’t do their after surgery rehabs and he tells them they can’t expect a successful surgery if they don’t get with the program and put the work in.

Did you watch the first debate this week? It went like I expected it to go, Trump talking over Biden and the moderator, Biden a little too soft spoken by comparison. The debate format was set with fifteen minute segments per question where the candidates were supposed to each have two minutes to answer the question, then they'd have the remaining time for “open discussion.” To me, that format was just too loose and invited the hot mess the debate turned out to be. The powers in charge apparently agree and are looking for ways to give the moderator more control. Duh, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that more traditional rules for debates including timed rebuttal responses need to be put in place. But, of course, both candidates have to agree with any changes made and we have to wait and see if that happens.

The high point of the night (or rather the low point of the night) was when Chris Wallace, the moderator, asked if Trump would condemn White Supremacists and militia groups, and after some back and forth Trump said and I quote, “Proud Boys — stand back and stand by.” The next day the New York Times wrote this about the group: “Several civil rights groups have condemned the Proud Boys, including the Southern Poverty Law Center, which classifies them as a hate group, and the Anti-Defamation League, which refers to them as “hard-core white supremacists.” Yes, we officially have a White Supremacist in the Oval Office who on national TV gave the group reason to celebrate. The Proud Boys have been involved in causing trouble at recent protest marches and their website is full of calls for them to “stand by” at polling places. Stand by for what? Too many people of color trying to vote? Stand by like they did on the steps of the state capital in Michigan, armed to the teeth because they didn't want to wear a freaking mask? Trump isn’t using dog whistles anymore, he’s letting his support for white supremacy show to the entire world. We should all be embarrassed by that. I’m sorry, but nothing he might bring to the table that some would see as good for the country can outweigh his divisiveness. If he’s reelected we are going down for the count. ©

The day after the debate the Proud Boys added this logo to their websites and are already selling t-shirts and patches imprinted with the president's words. They are not ambiguous about what the president said. Yet the day after the debate my Trump supporting in-laws were defending him and are saying the media was twisting his words. They were conveniently leaving off the 'stand by' part of Trump's statement. Whatever it takes for them to sleep at night, I guess. 

 

NOTE: I wrote this post on Wednesday, the day after the debate but the news cycle has exploded since then with Trump flying off to the hospital because of Covid-19. I'm only surprised that it didn't happen sooner. I can only hope this is a wake-up call for the anti-maskers who Mr. Trump created in his image.

29 comments:

  1. What he created in his image is coming back to bite him in the ass and how lax security for COVID is in the WH is so shockingly inadequate and completely ignorant that I'm just surprised they're not all hospitalized or dead by now! We had more WH Cases reported in 24 Hours out of our WH than the whole Country of New Zealand, if that isn't a National Security Risk of epic proportions for continuity of Government and making us Globally vulnerable, I don't know what is! The rapid progression of his symptoms is suspicious, along with what experimental unproven treatment they raced to use on a President of all people... so I don't believe any info coming out of the WH about his condition, it doesn't line up with what experts know of this Disease and it's progression. Mild Case and him 'working' from Walter Reed my Ass, I don't even think he posted that lone Tweet allegedly that he wrote, didn't 'sound' like him at all, it's been too quiet on the Twitler front since and anyone could Tweet from his device really to give a further illusion of how 'well' he's doing. Lots of Red Flags going up on my Spidey Senses, but the gullible will still believe whatever Lies and misinformation is shoveled... I think this Administration lost all credibility and reason to Trust them long ago.

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    1. I agree with everything you've written. His carelessness puts our country's security at risk. I saw a guy from the debate commission on TV yesterday and he said Trump's children refused to put on their masks when sitting in the audience even after being asked to do and offered masks. Even after all attendants had agreed ahead of time to be tested and to wear masks. They arrived too late for the testing even. The way Trump was shouting on the stage I'm worried about Biden and Wallace.

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    2. The footage in the Rose Garden Super Spreader showed his Fans hugging, shaking hands, unmasked and not a Soul was Socially Distancing. For people that high up to be acting like Morons and ignoring the Science of a Plague with no Cure because they've Politicized a Virus is just the most ridiculous and dangerous thing I've ever seen anyone do on purpose. I do Hope Biden and Wallace will continue to be Okay, but anyone this Madman and his Posse has been in contact with is at risk for sure, they have been the Instruments of Viral Warfare really.

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  2. I suspect your rhubarb-bearing neighbor is just lonely, and hungry for some human contact. There's been a lot of that kind of activity around here. My upstairs neighbor called me last week with an offer of some freshly baked banana bread. Some fellow who lives in another building stopped by to ask if he could spend some time photographing the birds at my feeders. And so on, and so forth. Everyone's heartily sick of the restrictions,, and I have to laugh when I remember what a friend said a few weeks ago: these restrictions will end when people decide it's time for them to end. Of course, ending them is easier around here, where there's been such a significant decline in cases, and we're clomping along with a positivity rate of about 2%. But there's no question that even people who can be out and about are tiring of it all.

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    1. You're probably right. Everyone is tired of the pandemic rules but most of us still recognize our need to keep with the mask and social distancing rules for the long haul.

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  3. I went to a Physiatrist for about a year--for my back pain. Thank goodness I didn't have to have an EMG--I had one years ago for my neck. Little needles all over my back. I remember it being painful.
    My left hand falls asleep all the time. Old age is setting in.

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    1. I know, sometimes we accept as just part of aging and something they can actually do something about. It's sorting out the difference that can get to you.

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  4. Aww, I think your rhubarb neighbors are just being nice. I have a neighbor like that and I appreciate her even though she is a trump supporter.
    I didn't watch the debate, I have a low tolerance for bad behavior. The news clips were hard enough to watch.
    I don't want 45 to die, but I would like him to get it seriously enough to realize this is not a hoax and to maybe admit that he has been wrong. I know--dream on. I have wondered for months how come he was staying healthy. They are falling like flies around the white house now. Self inflected.

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    1. I feel the exact same way about Trump. I hope actually getting the virus gives him a little humility and starts taking the pandemic seriously. I won't hold my breath, though.

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  5. I would not wish this virus on anyone, but I can't pretend to be surprised that Trump finally got it. With his cavalier attitude toward it, how could it not happen sooner or later? His family entered the debates wearing masks and then removed them. Even when asked to put them back on, they continued to sit there barefaced. The most bothersome thing about this is that even after Trump knew he had been exposed to the virus, he went to a fundraiser in Bedminster, NJ. The arrogance is astounding.

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    1. His family didn't show up to get tested before the debate, either, and it was something they had agreed to do as part of the debate protocol for guests. His going to a fundraiser when he knew he tested positive was the height of arrogance, wasn't it.

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    2. It went beyond arrogance to Criminal Negligence to KNOW you have a highly contagious disease and then deliberately go spread it around, there are actually Laws in place to prosecute such behavior.

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    3. Yes, those laws have been used on guys who spread HIV and VD without warning those they slept with.

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  6. Have you given thought to maybe THEY are the ones looking for new friends? If you are not interested you could simply not answer the door...right? Easy fix to what seems to be a problem.

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    1. You could be right about them looking for friends, but they are very active in their church and they have kids who visit so....

      But it's not really an easy fix to ignore someone at the door when you have a dog who looks through the glass at whoever is standing then back and forth between them and me while I'm sitting around the corner at my computer. LOL

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  7. I could not watch the debate - I cannot give a second of my time to listening to the current president. I do not even like to type or speak his name. I hope he gets better so the election doesn't get interfered with. I can picture the Republicans trying to take advantage of the situation. UGH! But it is their own fault for not following the recommendations. Let's get it over with and vote him out!

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  8. I could only watch it in tiny bits. I hope we have mic regulations for the next one. So embarrassing ....

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    1. I kind of consider it to be my civic duty to watch, not matter how hard it is to do so. I had it on but got distracted several times.

      They both would will have to agree to changing the rules of the debate for them to change them, and my bet is Trump not agreeing.

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  9. I am not a Trump fan to me he comes across as a chauvinistic bully and sorry but I feel that being flown to hospital was a big show to make out he is sicker then he is.

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    1. If I was a conspiracy theorist I'd wonder if the whole thing wasn't a dog and pony show to introduce a new treatment for the virus that he can then justify rushing to market before the election. The ordinary person can't get what he was given. That press conference at the hospital with a dozen or so doctors standing behind the guy at the microphone was certainly a pony show. His administration puts out so much false information that anything is easy.

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  10. Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) pointed to Trump’s illness as reason for the country to continue to reopen schools and businesses....
    “If this virus can get into the Oval, into the body of the president, there’s no place where it could not possibly infect one of our fellow Americans,” Gaetz said Friday night on Fox News, calling on the country to fully open as it protects those most vulnerable. “There is no lockdown that can be a panacea to save everyone from everything, and this is proof positive that’s the case.”
    ---Washington Post articel: https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-supporters-covid/2020/10/03/e3445528-0590-11eb-b7ed-141dd88560ea_story.html

    Also other examples, and says:

    Among the president’s base of support, there was a widespread sense of optimism that Trump will quickly recover from a virus many of them view as not nearly as deadly as scientists warn. The person they trust most, Trump, has yet to have a public change of heart about safety measures, so many of his supporters see little reason to do so themselves.

    People are going to believe what they want to believe.

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  11. Wow, I am beyond shocked at what Gaetz is saying! Has he not been watching how careless Trump has been? It was never a matter of if the virus found its way into the Oval Office, it was a matter of when.

    You are totally right about his base, the ones I'm seeing in my family are posting how God will protect him. It will be interesting to see if he has a change of heart regarding masks when he's out of the hospital but I seriously doubt he will admit anything like that in public.

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  12. Your doctor visit was unique. I've never seen a doctor without going through all sorts of rigamarole with someone before the main event, so to speak.

    I didn't watch the debate because I never watch debates. From what I can tell it may be the last time we'll being seeing The Donald in action during one this fall. He's such a screw-up, baffling to me.

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    1. I wondered if maybe his receptionist was out sick but they have plenty of temp services in our area, so I ruled that out. The music was what got me, too. That was SO different.

      I've been watching the debates since the Kennedy and Nixon in black and white. It's a tradition for me.

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  13. interesting post and comments...I think a lot of neighbourhood people are starting to find that their community needs them, even if they are assuming that "you and your lovely dog" don't. It's a kind gesture and one that all you have to do is say "thankyou..."take the gift inside, and do what you want with it

    I can't comment on the progress and processes of your battles with Covid-19 as I'm in New Zealand where our situation has been managed much differently...

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    1. I've run out of words to try to explain and/or understand our president's response to the pandemic.

      The neighbors I enjoyed the most put their house up for sale and five days later it sold, so I may need my new found, gift baring neighbors. I'm shocked at how fast it went.

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  14. So far, I would say the wake up call we hoped Himself would get hasn't happened. Overwhelmed and angry. I wonder what it will be like when the steroid high comes down. I was a little surprised but pleased when Joe said, "Will you just shut up!" I think he expressed what a lot of us were thinking. Did you see the Saturday Night Live open of the debate? Jim Carrey is brilliant. It's on youtube and I recommend it.

    Glad the doc appointment was good, if not conclusive. I appreciate docs who listen.

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    1. I did see SNL and Jim was great. He'll be working a lot if Biden is elected. I agree. Trump did not get the kind of wake up call he should have gotten. Heard he was up all last night tweeting.

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