Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, April 24, 2021

Things I keep Foregetting...


I keep forgetting…

That when I eat oriental takeout food right out of the Styrofoam container my fork pokes holes in the bottom and the sauces leaks all over the table. Solution: Take the time to use real dishes…like that’s going to happen. I don't eat it often enough to remember how messy it can be.

I keep forgetting…

That whenever I wear my favorite royal blue shirt with the ¾ sleeves that I can’t type without the sleeves getting hooked on the backs of the armrests of my computer chair. Solution: There is none short of throwing out the shirt or feeling stupid when I have to go change my shirt to type frustration-free.

I keep forgetting…

That I no longer have a four-legged, furry vacuum cleaner that scarfs up stray Cheerios. Looking at my floor this morning one would think there’s a toddler in the house. Solution: Don’t fill the cereal bowl up so full that adding milk floats the Cheerios over the edge.

I keep forgetting…

That I’m too old and dyslexic to teach myself how to do computer coding. Solution: Reset my tech goal to something more realistic like learning how to write an entire paragraph using new-age hieroglyphics aka emoji’s. For the life of me I don’t understand how an eggplant emoji came to represent a penis. I’ve seen my fair share of penises in my life but none of them looked like an eggplant.

I keep forgetting… That ‘no’ doesn't always means ‘NO!’ when I tell myself I can’t have another bowl of ice cream. This solution can be checked off my list: I bought myself a set of 5 ounce bowls so now I can have that second bowl without feeling guilty about it.

I keep forgetting…

That my trash pickup day changed from Mondays to Thursdays several months ago. Solution: Write it on my day planner or have the following words embroidered on my days-of-the-week underpants: ‘Thursday is Trash Day.’ Hey, I think I’m on to something here. I’d have ‘Sunday is Laundry Day’ and ‘Monday is for Grocery Shopping’ and so on.

I keep forgetting…

To wear my hearing aids. Now that Levi’s gone I can’t hear anyone ringing my doorbell or know when the back yard is under attack from rabbits. The neighbor lady said she came over twice before finally getting me to come to the door the third time. Solution: Isn’t it obvious? Wear the dang annoying, itchy hearing aids or buy a louder doorbell, neither of which are going to happen anytime soon.

I keep forgetting….

That I still need to do chin hairs checks even though the pandemic has been keeping me at home for over a year now. Those suckers get long without the plucking routine I had tied in with getting ready to go out in public! Solution: Look in the mirror more often! Maybe that can be my Tuesday’s embroidery message on my undies. Tuesday is Chin Plucking Day.

I keep forgetting…

That I’m too young to give up on making a good first impression. I really need to start caring about my wardrobe choices again now that I’m getting out and about a little more often, thanks to the vaccination. After a year of pandemic-related, less than fashionable apparel choices I recently discovered a pair of pants I’ve been practically living in has a quarter sized hole in the seat. Solution: Start by throwing out those comfortable pants. But they're like an old friend that died and I don’t want to go to its funeral. Help! I need a closet intervention.

I keep forgetting…

That I have an Errands List to run today. Solution: Take my fingers off the keyboard and be on my way...

1 To an appointment with my bone doctor for a $460 out-of-pocket injection of Synisco Gel in my shoulder. It's out-of-pocket because he's using it off label. It's supposed to be just for knees joints. I've had the injection in both knees and my other shoulder with good results of relieving me of pain for a couple of years. Worth every penny that helps avoid surgery as long as possible.

2 To the pets supply charity storefront to drop off the last of Levi's stuff. Well, almost the last. I decided to keep a shoe box full of puppy stuff just in case I decide to get one after I move.

3 To Lowe's to look for an odd-ball sized lampshade.

4 To the library to donate a few books on dog training, dog dancing, teaching dog tricks, and a canine health and medical dictionary.

5 The bank to make sure the account I use for e-Bay transfers doesn't have over-draft protection. e-Bay is doing away with their arrangement with PayPal and everyone who sells there will be required to give them permission to deposit and withdraw money directly to your bank account. Just in case they get hacked I don't want my two accounts connected.

6 To lunch at Burger King since I'll be on the same side of a busy road after the bank and because I haven't been there in in over a year.

7 To the post office to drop off a few priority boxes I won't be using. Got more but this will be a good start. 

It's been a long time since I've had an errands list this long. Getting fully vaccinated sets you semi-free! Still social distance and wear a mask in public places. ©

 

When I go through the takeout window at Burger King I always park by this tree that overlooks the river. I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's a White Oak. The way the lower branches spread out to the sides is not real common where I live, not rare either in my state.

49 comments:

  1. A lot of those "I forget.." rang a bell for me, but I've forgotten already which ones!

    Re clothes, I hate letting go of my old, comfy clothes/shoes/slippers and wear them looong past their throw-out date. The pandemic just made that habit easier since I go out less, and people visit less. ~Libby

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    1. I have gotten really bad about hang on to clothing, specially since I did that huge purge over the winter. I had planned another purge and buying splurge this summer but I have zero interest in shopping for clothing. Hate how I look in anything that's not sweat pants and shirts.

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  2. Every now and then I'm reminded what an odd life I lead, and I just was reminded! It's little things, really: no fast food in my life, no social media, no emojis, ever. Still, it's always nice to have a reminder that there are plenty of ways to function in the world. You also managed to remind me that I have to get to the bird seed store today, or my little feathered friends are going to be mightily unhappy with me!

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    1. My theory with keeping up with technology and what's going on in world of young people is a self-preservation strategy because some day those young people will be in charge of us in both large/governmental ways and maybe in small/change our diapers ways.

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    2. In 1994 my four year old granddaughter was being taught by an older sister to type her name into the computer so she could plan some children’s game. I thought that if she was learning to use it at that age I could learn too. Figured if I didn’t know how to turn it on and do simple things it would be like a woman my mother’s age never knowing how to drive a car. Mother was born in 1914 and grew up in rural Texas. I have a mental image of my teenage uncle teaching Mother to drive on a dusty unpaved country road. No license was required until the year I was born, 1936.

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    3. Gene, That's exactly what it would be like not to keep up with technology. Nothing ages you faster.

      That's a cool memory of your mom! I did not know that about the year license's were required.

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    4. Of course there's a difference between not knowing how to use tech, and choosing not to use tech. Figuring out what's useful and what's not is its own kind of skill these days!

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    5. You've got a good point. There sure are a lot of interesting tech things out there to do that I wish were around when I was younger and picking out a career.

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  3. Oops, forgot to put my hearing aids in - thanks for the reminder! I wish they worked better tho, lots of things I can't hear clearly even with them on. :(
    You have a nice to-do list to fill your day. Hope it's a good one!
    Thanks for posting - roll up your sleeves!! ;)

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    1. I have the same problem even when wearing the hearing aids and yet when the audiogoist turns them up the background noises bother me too much. She says wearing them every day even when no one is around will help me get used to the background noises but I don't follow her advice enough.

      Errands List got done with only a few chocked up moments before and after dropping off Levi's stuff. Hated letting go, made his death truth final. Even typing this is getting to me.

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  4. I have a chin hair that I've nicknamed "Little Vinny" because it reminds me of how tenacious Joe Pesci was in the movie "My Cousin Vinny." I've plucked that sucker out by the root many times, but he just keeps coming back so I have to do a search and destroy mission at least once a month.

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  5. I have Vinny's cousin. Same here with plucking it out by the roots but it keeps coming back in the same place where I don't see it facing the mirror front on. The only way to really get it to disappear is electrologist. I had that done on a hair mole on my cheek decades ago but now at my age I wouldn't spend the money.

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    1. And it's funny because he hides in a wrinkle on the side of my face and before I know it, he's a half inch long. Ackkk!

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    2. The only time I see my is in the rear view mirror when I'm backing out my driveway. LOL

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  6. Gosh this topic is perfect! I "mow" down Vinny's relative several times a week ... handy, battery powered facial hair shaver. Also file my nails. Apply wonderful face cream. The 69 year old beauty regime!

    Once you find your new cozy style of dressing, it does take a few weeks to get used to the new you! My house dresses never fail to be a compliment ... including "did you lose weight?"

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    1. I've looked at house dresses but they all seem to be 100% cotton and I hate to iron. I'm probably going to wait to build a new wardrobe until after is see that the other "kids" are wearing around campus. With all the other group meetings we've had they aren't as causal dressing as me.

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  7. What a beautiful tree! And a peaceful place to stop and eat.

    I finally created a list for myself called "Note to Self" of things I keep forgetting doing over. Things like "Oreos upset my stomach" and "Stop buying bulk veggies at Costco" (we never eat them before they go bad) and "Don't buy whole watermelons" (same reason). There just seem to be things I forget and do over with bad results - many of them things I did without a problem in my younger years.

    I have the same problem with dropping food...a dog is so handy for quick pickups. The fur balls are gone though, so I suppose it's a wash. And I read that notice from eBay. I'm not keen on them having access to my bank account, but I haven't listed anything lately, so I haven't had to get it set up.

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    1. That's a good idea about the Note to Self list. I need to remember not to buy veggies in bags and boxes too because they seem to have something sprayed on them that gives me upsets my system.

      I have a whole different bank for my personal accounts, social security and pensions from by e-Bay check book. But I have a good deal of money in that e-Bay bank's savings a/c that I've been accumulating for the move. I hate what their doing but once I get that chunk of money out of there, it won't matter. I understand the advantages that they are trying to achieve but unless you're a bulk seller it's scary handing them that kind of power when they are so hard to get a hold of if you have a problem. PayPal is not.

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    2. I just read through the whole thing and I'm not too excited about selling on eBay now. While I understand why they're doing it, I'm really not keen on this direction. I hate the idea of them having access to any bank account of mine directly. Ugh.

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    3. I think they will lose a lot of small sellers. I still will have about 50 dime-sized things to sell after I move but after than I may close my e-Bay account and the attached checking account. Although yesterday I had to call them and I got right through so I have to take back what I said about getting a hold of them. Took me longer to find the phone number than to get my problem worked out.

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    4. P.S. We do give other companies access to make withdrawals---mortgage companies, landlords, unities, auto-payments. Never heard of them having a security breach like a lot of smaller companies.

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  8. That was quite a list you tackled. Would consider that a good week's worth. I use to have a shoulder problem till my chiropractor taught me a lesson that has cured it. Before, at least once a day I would aggravate it to the point of groaning. It felt like I had been shot. He told me that every time I reached for, pushed or pulled anything to keep my elbow close to my ribs. I am religious doing it and it has been a pain free year. Just a thought.

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    1. I've been doing the elbow tuck for decades and it does help preserve your joints. My shoulder joint is bone-on-bone. I have an on-going problem in that whole arm from a failed elbow surgery and I was getting to the point that I couldn't raise my arm to comb my hair. Within two hours of the shot I've got my full range back again and the gel shot last a couple of years. Actually three shots of gel given all at one time.

      I like to run all my errands at one time, comes from back when I was working and had limited time off work. Old habits die hard.

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  9. Again, I'm so sorry about Levi. You do a lot more than I do! Take care.

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    1. Thanks. It's going to take time, letting go of my grief over him and I think the suddenness of his unexpected parting paired with how much I had woven him into my perception of how I'd be living in my next chapter of life. He would have helped me make friends so much faster.

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  10. I'm laughing. For some reason, I read Cheerios as Cheetos. I thought you were nuts for eating Cheetos with milk! Good thing I went back and reread that item. LOL.

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    1. With me, I could very well have spelled Cheerios as Cheetos. It's the kind of mistake I'd pickup when I'm proof-reading for the 4 th time. LOL

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  11. Love your idea of daily reminder underwear. What a great concept! ;-) If you love your royal blue top, why not just hem the sleeves to a shorter length? I really should make a list like this, I frequently fall into the "do the same thing over and over and expect a different result," you know, the definition of insanity. ;-)

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    1. The arms on my computer chair are open in the back and when I rest my arm on the arm rest the sleeve is just the right length and fullness that when I reach forward to type they hook on the armrest and hold my arm captive about 6 inches from the keyboard. It's so annoying to have to stop and unhook my sleeves. I have to change the darn blouse if I'm going to type more than a few minutes.

      I love the looks of the 3/4 sleeves. I often wear it with a tight, stretchy knit black long sleeve shirt underneath.

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  12. I seem to forget most things including how to swallow at times

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    1. That is so scary,isn't it! It's happened to me a few times to the point I think I should get a swallowing test done.

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  13. I loved this post.
    I could/should make a I Keep Forgetting list too.
    Eggplants that look like penises?

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  14. The Solution to No. 1 is eat it with Chopsticks, Problem Solved. Those stray Hairs that come Post-Menopause are something Princess T now Teases me about if I miss one... Odd how my Dad, being mostly Native American, couldn't grow Facial Hair, but as an Old Lady I seem to have the capacity for a very sparse Lady Mustache and longer than normal Nose Hairs every now and again... I will have to blame it all on my Mom's side of the Family??? *Winks* I often Forget my Age when I'm doing things that a Senior probably shouldn't be attempting at all.

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    1. Chopsticks would also be a good diet trick because I'd get frustrated eating and give up before I wanted to. LOL Never got the hang of it.

      Eyebrows grow too long too, but at least when I get a haircut, the girl trims those for me. They would wax my chin too if I was too cheap to have it done. Seem foolish for 2-3 hairs but those hairs are embarrassing. So now I have to start looking at my nose hair too? Thanks for that, Dawn. LOL

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    2. Maybe it's just me, but once I caught sight of my nose hairs, I cannot stop seeing it. Because we've been in masks and may now be taking them off at least sometimes, I need to get this face hair maintenance back in to the prep for going outside!
      Nina

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    3. Don't we all! At least while we're in this 'transition period' people are still not looking each other straight in the face yet like we used to before the pandemic.

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    4. Jean, my Eyebrows all but disappeared in my Old Age... Weird, since I did have rather lush ones in Youth... ha ha ha.

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    5. Me too. I had Italian bush eyebrows. Now, what I do have left are gray.

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  15. I walk into another room and promptly forget what it was I went to fetch. Often! The other thing that scares me: I often do up the buttons on my cardigan or shirt but when I get to the last one I discover I've run out of buttonholes and have to undo them all and start again.
    It is reported that Bette Davis said: "Old age is not for sissies." I remind myself of that quote often.

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    1. Old age is NOT for sissies and be all have to learn to laugh at ourselves when we do stuff like your buttoning. I seem to have forgotten how to put on a proper bra these past few days. I haven't been wearing one during the pandemic but now that I'm getting out more I need to start practicing this feat of womanhood again.

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  16. I love them all but the errand list cracked me up. I have precious little on my calendar regarding appointments or lunches or meetings -- but the errand list grows and grows!

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    1. Back when I was part of the working class my errands list was usually 11-12 stops each time I ran them.

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  17. I have never eaten Chinese take out in the containers they come in.
    I have that 4 legged hoover and it sure helps :-) doesn't even need plugged in.

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    1. Love those no charge vacuums.

      I may joint civilized society one day and eat Chinese out of real dishes. I'll be moving to an area with lots of food delivery services which I don't have here so I hope to be eating more oriental.

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  18. "Getting fully vaccinated sets you semi-free." LOL - so true! I guess we have to wait for herd immunity to set us fully free.

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    1. It seems to be a new conversation starter, asking someone where they stand on getting vaccinated. LOL

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  19. Once again I've fallen behind and this is a great one! I can so relate. So...the eggplant thing. I decided to send a "sext" to my hubby just for fun and had to look up all kinds of things that represent...well, things to do with S.E.X. Some emojis make no sense at all; some do. LOL

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    1. Some sources say the emojis are supposed to keep your elderly parents and little kids from reading over your shoulder and knowing what was sent to you. Other sources say they are quicker to use than words. But you proved my doubts about them being quicker because reading and writing them takes looking up stuff. LOL

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