Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

The Desk Delimma

 

I have three desks in my house and a drop-leaf table that also doubles as a landing place for my laptop. I don’t use that laptop much, mostly I keep it for back up in case my main tower with my attached ergonomic keyboard and large monitor goes down, but I think that will change after I move. There will be plenty of public places on the campus---outside and inside---where I’ll be able to sit and write guilt-free without the worry that I'm taking up space a business needs to make a living. When I write in public places, now---or rather in my pre-pandemic world---I’d write long-hand, always careful to make sure others aren't waiting for a table. But even with the new freedom I'll have on campus, most of my computer time will still be spent in front of my curved keyboard. I’ve used it for so many years that I find other keyboards painful and clumsy.

Then I have my husband’s oak roll top that I wrote about before. I dearly love that desk but it’s got to go. I also have a desk and chair that I refinished in the 1960s during my Fruitwood Period and all things Early American, a secretary where I used to sit and write long-hand penpal letters, round robin letters and letters to Vietnam service men---boys, really, mostly just out of high school who got drafted with a few gun-ho, committed-to-the-cause guys sprinkled in who enlisted. I haven’t used that desk in many years but I still love it and enjoy looking at it when I pass by it sitting in my art & crafts room and hopefully I can find room for it in my future bedroom. If so, I’ll press it back into service as my center for charging devices, keeping my day planner and paying my bills. The bedroom is the only room that will have a door I can close when I want to keep prying eyes out of my business. Ya, my half bath and laundry will also have doors but they will protect a different kind of privacy….

Then I have the quality-built oak, computer wardrobe that I’ve been using for the past 15 years. I’ve logged so many hours sitting at the wardrobe that I wouldn’t be surprised if we shape-shifted into one, inseparable entity. She and I have a love/hate relationship though. I love her doors that can swing closed and lock off my business very quickly. It’s got a ton of space for everything and then some. But I hate that I always have the inside of her trashed out with dozens of Post-a-Notes, a cluster-muck of pens, pencils, rulers, papers to file and dust. If I didn't have those doors, would I keep a neater desktop? Absolutely. I am a vain person when it comes to the impression my house makes on others. When my realtor opened my walk-in closet door, I died ten times over. That place and my computer wardrobe show the stormy side of how my brain works---the messy, careless, get-it-out-of-sight, everything-piled-haphazardly-on-top-of-each-other side. It kills me that my new place will not have a door on the master closet. Where will I hide my messy side and where will the bogyman hide? My bed is too low to the floor so maybe the universe will send a bogy-child instead?

I also hate how hard it’s become for my old bones to thread the wires and cords through the computer wardrobe to the cable manager. I don’t have to do it often---only when I need to take the tower into get serviced or I need to replace it or a printer---but I just can’t get down on the floor to do it anymore. Well, I could get down, it’s the getting back up that’s the impossible part. This wardrobe has to go for that reason and because it’s too big for the miniature office/hobby room I’ll have in my new place. Thus the late night online shopping for a smaller unit to organize my office area.

Shopping for a new computer desk has taught me: 1) No matter how much you plan to spend you can’t find a quality built desk configured as well as the cheap ones; 2) The cheap ones come in a box like a giant puzzle that you either have to spend three hours putting them together or hire a service that specialized in that kind of thing; 3) Because of Covid-19 several companies I've contacted thought their chatlines no longer offer shipping to the room of your choice for an extra fee. They park the 100+ pound box at your front door; and 4) because so many people are working from home now, computer desks are selling like snow cones on the desert and are out-of-stock almost before you can save them on your Wish List.

But the most distressing thing I learned is that most desks these days are built without pullout keyboard trays as more and more people are using laptops. It took me two weeks of bedtime shopping to find out that for us dinosaurs we can buy monitor shelves to solve the no-keyboard tray problem. And most of the smallest desks being sold also don’t have places for a printer. It also took me two weeks of shopping to figure out why. They want you to buy a separate printer stand on wheels that you’d supposed to tuck away in a space I won’t have. 

I’ve debated about ordering a desk after I move in like I plan to do with some of living room furniture and area rugs, but they take 3-4 weeks to get delivered and the son-I-wish-I-had thinks it would be nicer to be able to set up my computer and it get working with Wi-Fi, etc. on move-in day and that would be my dream scenario. I found the ideal set up for a computer desk---at least for me---but I want to take the photo of it out to the Amish built furniture store to see if they’d custom order one configured like I want only made with better wood. Those the particle board made desks they sell online won’t hold up more than a few years before they get saggy. The Amish place custom-made our kitchen table so my husband’s wheelchair fit nicely under it but they only had to modify an existing plan. If it took them a few months to build, I’ve got the time to wait. Fingers crossed they'll do it at a price I'm willing to pay which is pretty high, let me tell you, since the majority of my time is spent at my keyboard and I don't see that changing after I move. I have a dozen projects lined up in my head.

Next week when I take a trip to the Amish place, and while I'm on that end of the county, I'll stop at the PODS place to get information on using one for packing up my life after the house sells. With the listing timing my realtor and I mapped out I'll be homeless for a couple of weeks but that will save me having to waste time and money on getting a bridge loan. During that time I plan to take up niece's offer to let me stay at her cottage. The POD, in that scenario, will go in their indoor storage facility and I will just have to worry about keeping two house plants alive. My niece would have welcomed Levi to use the cottage, too, so I'm pretty sure she'll let me litter up her place with my plants even though she's not a "plant" person.

I have a third house plant, a Hoya, that I've had since I was seventeen and it was tiny cutting given to me by an elderly friend when I visited his greenhouse full of Hoyas in every color known to Man, but it's showing its age and not in a good way. I'm kind of hoping it will die this summer so I don't have to move it or murder it. It took it over 38 years for it to have its first flowers---duh, the old guy didn't tell me it needed full sun for that to happen---and when it blooms twice a year now, the flowers are truly beautiful but SO stinky sweet it fills up the entire house and I have to pick them and throw them out or they'll give me a headache. That plant is a metaphor for my life in a way; I'm good at waiting and planning for beautiful things to come along but when they do I can only enjoy that anticipation fulfilled for such a short time before I'm asking myself, "Was it worth it? Would I do it again? What's next?" ©

That's the Hoya plant back in the corner and below are what the flowers looks like.

 

 

P.S. From an earlier post you may remember that the-son-I-wish-I-had wanted to do a barter on the roll top desk and he thought he could talk his wife into it, but she was firmly against it. So I am now getting ready to list it on e-Bay---what a job trying to empty it out! It has 29 drawers and seven cubby holes plus a secret hiding place. Big things like that do sell there for local pickup. I sold 6-7 restored antique gas pumps on e-Bay after my husband died and the buyers each arranged for a freighting company to pick them up and prepare them for long distance shipping on their dime. Crossing my fingers that the desk will sell as easily at those old pumps did.

34 comments:

  1. What a mess! I feel for you and will be glad when it's over and settled. I hope you love your new home.

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    1. It's not so much a mess as it is a puzzle to be solved. A puzzle the comes with memories and a history. The pandemic and the auction house going out of business complicated the process. But without the downsizing project during the pandemic to occupy my brain I'm not sure I would have remained sane.

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  2. I have a decent desk (a must for a retired teacher!), but it also lacks a pull-out keyboard tray. My wrists, neck, and shoulders are paying the price. I usually rig up my lap desk with my bluetooth keyboard, but it's not optimal. Even raising my monitor doesn't do it--it's having my hands too high that is the problem.

    You're smart to get something custom. It'll save you so much annoyance and pain in the long run.

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    1. Have you thought about getting a taller computer chair to solve the issue of your wrists not being at the proper angle or height? I worked for me when I was using a straight-back chair at my computer wardrobe. Got a real computer chair with an adjustable height. Made a world of different.

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    2. I do have a proper chair with adjustable height. And I have a stand for my laptop, too, so that it can be adjusted. I need the keyboard much lower to compensate for my shoulders/wrists.

      Thanks for trying to help, though.

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  3. Desks are a conundrum. I have the maple desk and filing cabinet I used for years, but it really takes up too much space in my new office/music room. However, when I think through replacing it with something else, I just haven't been able to make up my mind what that is yet. It's got a drawer that flattens into a keyboard tray, too, so I understand your situation. I have been looking at sit to stand because DH is convinced I would benefit from one ergonomically. But they are very utilitarian looking compared to my well loved hard maple.

    So nice that you have somewhere to go during your "bridge" period. I think your house will sell REALLY fast and you won't end up with that dancing we did in the 10 days we had between payout and new purchase. This market is a real gift to seller. :)

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    1. I'm scared the bubble will bust in July when my house gets listed, but the realtor doesn't think it will. Fingers crossed.

      I think those sit-to-stand desks are really practical but I'm too old school to accept the utilitarian look your office would have to be. Too business 'bullpen-ish for my tastes and there is no storage in them.

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    2. Those are exactly the two issues that have stopped me from buying one. And it won't match my credenza.

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  4. Love my pull out keyboard tray on my desk that I put together 17 years ago. I use a laptop but I must have a regular keyboard. Hate those laptop ones. But I too had no place for a printer. Sure miss it. Don't envy you the change you are facing.

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    1. It's a lot of work but I view the change as self-protection...of me getting to make ALL my own choices, while I still can about my future health care and living arrangements. If something happened where I couldn't stay by myself while still living in this house my nieces might get stuck with the job of relocating me to assisted living or nursing home and many times you have to take what is available and it might not be the quality place you'd pick for yourself. They'd not be able to decide what artwork, for example, I care about and what I don't want to look at anymore. They'd do their best but they have families and commitments and there is never enough time to go around. At the continuum care complex, the non-profit will bring services to my doorstep as long as possible and when it's not, I already have seen the memory care, nursing care and hospice buildings in the complex. No more decisions to burden family with after I move. They will have a say in timing, but where I'd be moved to is preordained and set for the rest of my life even if I ran out of money.

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  5. My desk is from Pottery Barn. It has no pull-out keyboard tray, but it's sturdy as can be. Of course it was delivered when they offered white glove delivery, but maybe as things get better such services will be available again. I like your idea of seeing if the Amish will make what you really want. Bet they'd have no trouble delivering it to your new home.

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    1. I never even thought to look at Pottery Barn. Just checked them out and picked up some good ideas for cork board backs. The Amish store will deliver for sure. I almost bought a computer wardrobe when we first moved here but money was tight then so I went with the one I've got which was on sale and at a steal price elsewhere.

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  6. I use a desk that belonged to my Grandfather for my computer. It is really a table with 2 shallow drawers for office supplies. It holds all my computer pieces and a printer but it does get cluttered and it could use a refinishing! But it is up in my bedroom where company doesn't see it. :)
    Good luck!

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    1. Desks, with so many people working at home and kids doing online schooling are a hot item right now. Love that you have your grandfather's.

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  7. I'm not even using a desk any more. I have an ikea table for my files and such and paperwork but I am almost exclusively digital so I don't really need it. but then I use a large laptop and tablet and they fit on my lap..

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    1. I've thought of doing that---go with just a laptop but I type more hours a day than you do, I think and I really miss my curved keyboard and having a designated office. I don't want my life all digitized either with no hard-copies of important documents. Good thing there are so many choices for us all.

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  8. I had a rolltop desk for years and loved it. Got rid of it years ago because of the size and the fact it weighs as much as a small car. Bought a house with a nice study about a year ago and found a very nice desk on FaceBook market that fits the new space perfectly. Nothing like a good desk!

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    1. This one probably weighs a ton, too. I've never bought anything on FaceBook Marketplace but I'm sure selling a lot that way. It's the modern garage sale.

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  9. AND ... if you can't sell something, our town has a FaceBook - Buy Nothing where people can pick up an item (anything FREE goes quickly) as well as you can barter. We were gifted firewood during the ice storm!

    My Amazon desk (advertised as a craft area) works well for me. I just bought a stand so when Zooming I can adjust the camera to my "good" angle! Instead of from my double chin up.

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    1. I've been told not to advertising anything for free, even $1 keeps the number of people trying to contact you down. I wouldn't do that anyway. If I'm going to give something away free I'll bring it to Goodwill or have the mission pick it up so my stuff will benefit more than one person whose looking for a bargain.

      I'll check Amazon's craft area desks.

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  10. I bought a desk and credenza from a Danish furniture store when I bought my first computer, back in 1995 or so. It has that wonderful slide out keyboard tray, and plenty of open shelving for whichever books and such I'm working with. It's completely open, and I use the top shelf for oil lamps, a painting, and such. Eventually, I bought a matching cart for a printer, and keep all my "office" supplies on its bottom shelf. I like its clean, open lines, and of course I like the teak!

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    1. Sounds like Ikea? Wayfair carries some of their desks. Before my husband's stroke forced us to move I had the best metal desk set ever, made my Steetcase, a Michigan company that builds office furniture that is practically indestructible. I've been been debating getting a dark color like your teak but the room that will be my office is so small (*' x 13' that I decided to go with the lighter color to help it blend into the wall.

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  11. I will soon have to clean out my parents house

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  12. Crossing my fingers for you as well, Jean!

    Deb

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    1. It will if I have anything to say about it. You did it over a much longer distance than I did and you've been my role model.

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  13. Closet with no Door, find either a Lovely Curtain or Shower Curtain to hang across it on a Rod so you can slide it back and forth. Desks... I had to Sell my Antique Desk my Computer was always on when we Moved... along with most other larger furnishings. Now I have this all set up on a Vintage folding Card Table and never did hook the Printer back up since there's no room for it up here. Having the tinier Space makes me keep it Clutter Free. You, my Friend, are a whole lot more of a Domestic Goddess than I... everything so tidy and orderly... even if some of your out of sight areas are chaotic, mine are just the opposite... only place I have true Order and Discipline... there must be some Psychological Nuggets of Interest in that anomaly... but, I haven't contemplated what they are or what it actually means? At least my Cupboards and Closets are a True Vision that I CAN be Organized, Orderly and Tidy somewhere. *Winks*

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    1. Oh, I do plan to get a tension rod and curtain hung over that master closet door, which is off the bathroom which I find weird too. Great minds think the same.

      I used a folding card table for my computer the first year when we lived here and my have to for the last few months living here. Hate the idea but I will do what I have to do.

      Interesting that I hide my clutter behind closet doors and that's the only place your stuff is orderly. Wish I had the time to unwrap both those packages. LOL When I was a teenager and my dad smoked he used to complain that I'd empty his ashtray while he was mid cigarette.

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  14. I use a laptop with an external keyboard. On occasion I hook it to my large monitor, and shove the laptop to the side so I just have the keyboard in front of me. You're right -- it's hard to find the right set up. Since the pandemic, I've been working on the dining table to watch 24/7 video but I'll probably move back to the office and the big monitor soon. I still miss the pull out tray of my old office, though! Smart idea about the Amish. Made to last.

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    1. I can't be the only one who whats a quality made computer desk/hutch so I'm hoping the Amish furniture store will have one or one I can order.

      I have my laptop and my Kindle and my cell phone that I can use to access the internet to read or cyber-surf, so I'm not stuck in one place for that. But for serious writing I want to at least look like I have a have a professional thought in my head to get down on paper. LOL

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  15. I have only one desk -- an oak piece that I like, but I find I sit mostly at my dining room table because there is more room to spread out. But then, I use a laptop 99% of the time, so it works for me. Funny what we grow accustomed to and I think it's just fine to leave well enough alone! LOL

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  16. Wow, your old desk sounds awesome. Too bad you don't have the room for it at the new place.

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    1. I know. It really hurts to give it up. It's so big I'll probably have trouble selling it. It's listed on e-Bay right know and it's gotten hundreds of views but so far no bidders. If it doesn't sell it's going to break my heart to have to donate it somewhere and I won't tell them where the secret compartment is. I'm just going to put a dated note and a dollar bill in the hiding place for someone in the future to stumble on it.

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