Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, March 12, 2022

Traverse City Cherry Pie and Influential Women

International Woman’s Day brought two events to our continuum care complex. One was a catered luncheon from a Michigan chain called The Traverse City Pie Company. The other was a lecture given by a professor from one of the local colleges titled White House Wives, from Martha Washington to Melania Trump. 

The first gathering of the International Woman’s Day was in 1911 and it feels weird that I don’t know much about the movement/group or whatever label applies here. Was it not a big deal in the years past or did I have my head in the sand? For whatever reason it wasn't on my radar...or it was there and the Old People gene wiped it off my brain's hard drive. This year’s theme is women’s equality. Their website says: “Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes and discrimination. A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality.” Ya, sure, give it another hundred years and it might happen. But, ladies, please don't stone me for saying this but I'm glad I grew up in an era when men were tasked with changing all the flat tires and checking out any scary noises coming from the basement---although I’ve done both in a pitch. 

The Traverse City Pie Company has fifteen locations around the state and I’d only been to a couple of them so when the opportunity to sign up to sample their fare for only ten dollars, I jumped at the chance. It was set up in our all-purpose room and we all agreed to dress up a bit. So out came my smokey gray MaryJanes that were made in Israel and cost so much I hate to wear them out of fear I’ll wear them out. Ya, I know, that’s crazy thinking but I never claimed to be entirely sane and sensible. But they're the only dress shoes I own and they are the only ones I’ve ever had that actually have the support I need so I can walk without pain. The bone structure in my feet is so bad that I wore custom-made shoes for the first twenty-two years of my life and I should have continued doing so but fashion won out over those shoes during my man-hunting days. Those side lacing, dried mud-colored things looked like they came from a prison. Not that I’ve ever seen prison shoes but growing up I always thought surely they’d have to wear ugly-ass footwear as part of their punishment. 

If you’re from Michigan or ever vacationed near The Bridge that connects upper and lower Michigan you probably know that the Traverse City area is known for its cherries and in recent years they’ve added wine to the locally grown things they promote. The pie company has been around since Ring was a pup and he died so long ago no one living knows where he was buried. They make forty kinds of fruit and cream pies in addition to quiches and meat pot pies and they ship them all over the country. But mostly I remember the pie company from going to the annual Cherry County Festival in my wild-child thirties-going-on-seventeen. Today, however, I didn’t eat one of their cherry pie varieties because I’m half way through using a teeth bleaching kit and it seemed counter productive. You know you’re getting old when you start thinking that eating a piece of pie is dangerously close to being irresponsible with your money. Those kits are not cheap! 

Twenty-nine of us showed up for this event and it was fun. And I don’t understand why it was because I see all these same women almost daily. I’m guessing it was because we all dressed up and were mutually admiring all the colorful scarves, shawls and jewelry we hauled out of our personal archives. Oh, and I got 3-4 compliments on my hair which proves extra primping to pouf it up pays off. 

The lecture on the President’s Wives was the next day.” As a person with more than a passing interest in woman’s suffrage history I knew Edith Wilson and Eleanor Roosevelt would be featured in this lecture for IWD. I also know we’ve had some extraordinary First Ladies from both sides of the aisle but at lunch the day before our resident, hyper-sensitive Far Right Fringette announced that she’d walk out “if the speaker gets political.” She’s in my book club and has made it clear she doesn’t think racism exists anymore and wants the media, authors and historians to quit talking about it because THEY are they problem. Translation: Racism needs to be swept back under the carpet so she doesn't have to admit she probably benefited from White Privilege. 

I loved, loved LOVED this lecture that the professor said should have been titled Women of Great Influence and No Power. Near the end he said words to the effect that since Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Trump both had young children the causes they took up were in that area, Mrs. Obama's being childhood nutrition and guess who walked out when he didn't say another word about about Mrs. Trump. Later on in the hall she was telling another resident that she walked out because he was slanting his talk toward the Democrats and the other resident replied, “I didn’t pick up on that at all.” (Because the speaker didn't.) I kept right on walking because what’s the point of butting heads with her? She’s nearly 90. She’s going to keep manufacturing outrage over nuggets of nothingness until she dies. The professor had most of us spellbound and that's my take-away. ©

48 comments:

  1. Jean, you are having a ball in your new place, learning heaps and at the same supporting the events you feel either you'll enjoy or get some great takeaway from it - including the Ladies of the Presidents...

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    1. I am enjoying my new life, but I really wish I could whip up more interest into the exercise classes. I've done them all but they don't interest me enough to plan my life around them. Same with the game room.

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  2. Oh Jean, you had me at Traverse City Pie Company! We have one in Terre Haute. Although we live in Illinois, it's close by. I've had some wonderful meals and desserts there. I love their chicken pot pie and soups. Of course, their pie is the highlight. I'm a big fan of Michigan tart cherries. I hope this growing season will be a good one. I did a double take when I read that the first meeting of the Int'l Women's Day was in 1911. I had no idea. Coming from the midwest and growing up on a farm showed me, first hand, how smart and hard working women were. My grandmothers and mother were committed to caring for the family, home, and animals--with few modern conveniences. The men were very hard workers, too, but when they came in for the evening meal, their day was done. The women were putting a home cooked meal on the table, then washing the dishes afterward. Then they'd read to the little kids and rock us to sleep. Women rule the world (and I do respect men, but the truth is the truth). So glad there was a decent level of interest in supporting this event. Jean, would you be willing to share more info on the shoes that have helped your feet? I'm always looking for comfortable shoes. I used to rely on Mephistos, and they're very supportive, but now I need something with a bit more cushioning. Hope you have a good weekend!

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    1. Support for various things around here is spotty. They had lecture on put on my the Better Business Bureau on how to spot scams and only five of us showed up. I'll admit I knew half the stuff but I also got good resources for reporting attempted scams and the stories we all shared where interesting and worth an hour of my day.

      We have a shoe store in town where you make appointments to get fitted for orthopedic shoes---not custom made, just good quality with good support shoes. They don't let you get out of there without the proper fitting shoes and usually they have to order the color you want. They don't have a lot of choices in style but all the foot doctors in town seem to recommend them. That's were I got the Mary Janes by Naot. I have their sandals too for summer. I don't wear either pair if there is a hint of rain or snow in the area. You you go to their website they have a link to their orthotic-friendly shoes and a link to a store finder in your area (we have two): https://naot.com/product-category/women/orthotic-friendly/ All things BEING relative I guess their pricing isn't so bad but I bought their tennis shoes, Mary Janes and sandals all in one day so I always think of them as being too pricy to be careless with them. I'm going back this month for another pair of tennis shoes because those I did wear out after four years of daily wear. They still look good but the padding inside is breaking down. I'll get new shoes and new insoles, if they sell them.

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    2. Naot shoes are awesome. I have two pairs of their Mary Janes, and I've replaced the insoles twice. But they're wild colors (orange with red trim and green with blue trim) and they're not made anymore. So I have stopped wearing them much, because I will be so sad when they are all worn out. Even writing that sounds ridiculous. I must dig them out. LOL.

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    3. It's crazy isn't it to save favorite shoes (or clothing) by not using them as they are intended. My Mary Janes are a pretty smokey gray that seems to well with most colors.

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    4. I believe that I have that same pair of Naots in the same color -kind of a pearly gray. I love them and they helped a lot to make the work day feasible. Now that I'm retired, I don't wear them much, though.

      Another brand that I love (but whose prices go up every year and they're now sooo expensive!) is Wolky. They have been named the best walking shoe in the world a number of times (I think they originally came from Holland).

      Shoes are everything if you have problem feet. There is a store in NYC that does what your local store does, and they have introduced me to lots of shoes that help me keep moving.

      Nina

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    5. Sounds like the same shoes. Mine are also a pearly color and so easy to pair with grays or blacks or colors.

      I'm going to the shoe store tomorrow. I can't wait! It's been a long time since I've had a new pair.

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  3. That would have been an interesting lecture We know so little about the first ladies out side of what they wore. I think Eleanor Roosevelt set the first lady bar pretty high on what they could accomplish and hope they continue to use their platform for good.

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    1. She sure did. They all lose so much privacy and are expected to do so much for no pay and all but a couple took up a cause to shine a light on them. I would gladly sit through that lecture again and while I was doing so I was thinking he'd keep even young college students interested with his style of delivery and engaging the audience.

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  4. New subscriber. Love every single word of your posts! Best part of this one was the "prickly" 90 year old and your description of her. Imagine the time and energy invested in poking into every corner, every day, looking for something to be pi**ed at! Poor soul.

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    1. Welcome!!! If you comment again (and I hope you do) will you sign your first name at the end? That way I can tell one anonymous poster from another. I have several who show up from time to time.

      I'm afraid the 90 year old who finds things to be pi**ed about becomes blog fodder for me often because, let's face it, I share my thoughts here so I don't accidently share them in real time and get myself in trouble. LOL

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  5. Your mention of the first ladies reminded me of one of my favorite ever sayings, from Alice Roosevelt Longworth, the daughter of President Teddy Roosevelt. She had a pillow with the following invitation embroidered onto it: "If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me." The saying's been attributed to several people, and every time I hear it I laugh.

    As for cherries, every year I treat myself to some sour cherry Fruit Perfect from Michigan's American Spoon. I love them in yogurt, on pancakes, and on ice cream. Best of all, once or twice a year they'll ship a dozen jars for free. I grew up with cherry trees in Iowa, and cherry pie's my favorite fruit pie. Well, except for apple!

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    1. That pillow saying would crack me up too.

      We have an American Spoon store in my favorite, near-by summer resort town which I'm hoping to get to this summer. You can get sick sampling all their favors. They are the best! Lemon curd is my favorite.

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    2. Love, love, LOVE American Spoon. They are my #1 splurge.

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    3. I've bought the lemon curd, too. It beats any other curd I've ever tried. I'm a huge fan of lemon, and there are so many ways to use it.

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  6. Now I can't stop thinking about cherry pie! Perhaps I'll have to make or buy one for the upcoming Pi day although I was thinking about a savory pie like a quiche for that. Cherry sounds better though.

    The lecture sounds fascinating and got me to look to see if there is a book with similar content and of course there is. My library doesn't have the updated one including Melania Trump but I personally won't miss her lol.

    Shoes that keep your feet from hurting are extremely high on my list after my pandemic foot surgeries. Worth every penny so I hope you wear those comfy shoes a lot.

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    1. Pi Day has become a fun 'holiday' of sorts hasn't it. I like the savory pies almost better than fruit pies.

      I think historians are still struggling to decide what Mrs. Trump actually did that made a lasting mark...too soon to tell. One of my fellow residence said the only thing she though Melania did well was to protect her son from the public eye and I'd have to agree with that.

      Once we get past St. Patrick's week which will be fun around here I'm going back to the specialty shoe store to get another pair of tennis shoes because I have worn those out from daily use.

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  7. Sounds like you have a great day. Do you know why the speaker said nothing about melania? Because she did nothing as a first lady. I just read today that the reason her "benefit" was recently canceled was because it was never licensed or whatever the tern would be for this to be a charity. In other words the money for this charity event would go to her.Fake Charity shall we say. I love that she got shut down. The speaker did a good dead when he said nothing because he would have only been able to say the negative.She did nothing at all. Laura Bush was on the right and did a great service for reading. Nancy was the joke of Just Say No, but it was something.It wasn't as self serving as melania.
    Before the great fall of the famous chef MArio Batali, he would go on and on about the Michigan cherries. I guess he has a home up there on the lake. (Upper michigan)

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    1. Yes, I kind of figured a person who teaches history would not credit Mrs. Trump with supporting a cause because not enough time as past to see if anything she did stands the test of time. Scam charities don't count. Nancy did make it okay to talk about addictions which was cutting edge at the time and, like you said, it wasn't self-serving.

      Michigan cherries really are brag worthy but the land they are grown on is getting taken over by wineries so I'm not sure how much longer they'll be around. It's very unique area in terms of weather, water and climate.

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  8. I love Grand Traverse Pie Company pies -- especially cherry. When my cousin's son comes to the lake, they always go to TC JUST to get the pie. (Going to TC on a weekend in the summer is my idea of hell -- too many people; better on a week day or better still in September!). We have two of them here and when I go to Cleveland I always bring a pie for Mark and Katie! The lecture sounds great. Hey, can't fix stupid -- smart to not engage.

    I can relate to your feet. I'm much the same. I'm not sure I even have "grown up shoes" anymore. At least, ones that fit for more than an hour. Yours sound divine!

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    1. If you get near Flint Mi they have a Good Feet Store that is almost as good as the place I go, that chain is also known for fitting good quality, supporting shoes.

      Pie is not one of my favorite desserts and cherry pie is low down on my list of favorite flavors, but I can't leave Traverse City Chocolate Cherry Ice Cream alone. It's made in a creamery near me and is to die for.

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    2. That is THE best flavor of our local ice cream. I can't leave it alone either.

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  9. I'd have eaten tiny slices of every single kind of pie they had except the ones I don't care for (apple, blueberry, pumpkin) and let the tooth bleaching continue its hard work. No way in hell I'm passing up free pie. EVER.

    I had a charming weekend in Traverse City one autumn. It was beautiful and full of great food, friends, and some fun cherry wine. I'll never forget it.

    That lecture sounds tremendous; I'd have been riveted. Another great event at your residence!

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    1. My youngest niece never misses doing the same fall trip/pilgrimage to Traverse City and Don and I used to do it too. It's a charming place to go. Her son now owns a cottage 20 minutes away from there but it used to belong to my folks so she's got a special connection to the area having stayed with her grandparents up there. We loved the art galleries and shows. I went on a bus trip up there through the senior hall a couple of years ago and they still book it each year, but it's physically grueling to do in just a day from where I live.

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  10. The only thing positive I remember about Melania is she tried to pull off an anti-bullying campaign. Which seemed so ironic to me as the biggest bully in America was occupying the White House at the time.

    Deb

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    1. Yes, if she hadn't been married to the Bully-in-Chief her anti-bullying campaign wouldn't have failed so soundly.

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  11. I would love to have heard that lecture. ❤️

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  12. Sounds like where you live is pretty damn good, didn't know international womens day has been around so long.

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  13. Both of those sound like great events. I wonder how your place will keep up all of these wonderful events they have planned for you. They must have a terrific event-planning staff to come up with so many nice ideas.

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    1. They have three Life Enrichment staffers, one for each of their two independent living campuses and one for their assisted living facilities. They've been around a long time at their other places so they could hit the ground running here. These kinds of places aren't like our parent's generation lived in; there are competition to keep their residents entertained rather than just warehoused.

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  14. The lecture sounds fascinating! One New Year's resolution was to read a auto or biography of famous women. Maybe I should do the First Ladies!

    FEET! The podiatrist made custom inserts that I can use in most shoes. Now with bunions and a hammertoe, I need to find some new shoes. Do feet keep growing as we age? Like noses and ears?

    Now I'm hungry for cherry pie.

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    1. Yes our feet change a good deal as we age, especially the width as our arches break down.

      Mrs Clinton and their daughters wrote a non-politic book about women of merit. I haven't read it but ladies in my book club say it's really good. It's on our suggestion list.

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  15. I am going to steal your phrase "nuggets of nothingness" the first time an opportunity presents itself. Says so much in so few words.

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    1. Feel free to do so. When I wrote it I was pretty it originated with me but since you mentioned it I googled the phrase and found out it probably came from a poem by Tom Mohr. He wrote: "Our phones beckon with new nuggets of nothingness.." It is a cool phrase, isn't it.

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  16. That lecture on the First Ladies sounds fascinating. And the 90 yo cranky woman will die angry. I had an old boss who used to say, "She'll get over it...or she'll die unhappy." That stuck with me and applies to a lot of people. ha!

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    1. It sure does apply to a lot of people. The thing is she isn't cranky most of the time. She's often the source of a lot of humor. But she's got a blind spot about black history and democrats.

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  17. Interesting how many people with extreme views don't respect other people's right to be spared rabid personal opinions about the only acceptable information sources, sex lives and reproductive choices. You are wise not to engage her. It'll just upset your tummy.

    Pie! I won't eat any of the fruit pies without a scoop of vanilla ice cream alongside. Never have done. Never will do!

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  18. I never dress up anymore but I think dressing for occasions like that are fun. We do look different dressed up and it is a chance to admire each other and yet just have fun with it. I would have enjoyed that lecture too.

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  19. I have made peace with being able to dress the way I want...for comfort with an occasional dress-up day thrown into the mix. It took awhile for me to accept my level casualness but I made it.

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  20. "Manufacturing outrage over nuggets of nothingness..." was a brilliant phrase my Friend. It seems a lot of the Elderly are leaning Far Right, which I find to be Weird since the most Elderly surely remember the Past and it's challenges and if they want to go back to all that... WHY? Anyway, glad the lecture and the Pie Tasting were well worth participating in. I too am in a Teeth Whitening phase, using Charcoal Toothpaste and the Gel Pens, I've never had Pearly Whites and envy those who Naturally have very White Teeth, it's so Attractive.

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    1. I'm guess the past is more comfortable than that unknown future for some people. I don't even like watching movies and TV shows like so many others here.

      I've Tried the charcoal tothpaste and it didnt' do any good, never tried the gel pens. I'm using s Crest strips kit that you put on your teeth for 45 minutes a day for 21 days that my dentist recommended and there is a notable difference. Still not pearly white but I'm no longer embarrassed by my teeth which were pretty white most of my life.

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  21. Sounds like both Affairs were fun.

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  22. I'm a bit lost as to the connection between the pies and International Womens Day...is it scientifically proven that eating pie makes women more powerful? Does the company employ only women? Do you have to pay extra for these events? Finally, and most importantly, what pie did you have?

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    1. These were two separate event. The luncheon was just for the women on campus and was catered from the pie company to celebrate IWD. We had to pay $10 extra to go. The pie place is just a popular place that a lot of Michiganders associate with summer fun...no connection between using them for menu choices and IWD. I had apple pie but pie is not really my first choice for desserts.

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