Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, March 19, 2022

St. Patrick's Day and Tax Time

St. Patrick’s Day was the inspiration for another fun theme week here at the continuum care complex. It followed another theme week I didn’t write about because I’m not into “churchy things” like doing the Stations of the Cross, Ash Wednesday. Lent and a series of classes to study Bible events leading up to Easter. I didn’t even do the buffet for Mardi Gras night because while I like some Cajun music I didn’t trust the iconic food that goes with it not to kill me with hidden shell fish. I did, however, love the paczki’s served on Fat Tuesday before Lent started and the Mardi Gras beads that were free for the taking draped all over the public areas. Best paczki’s I’ve ever had in my life and we used to have some great Polish bakeries in my area.

St. Patrick’s Week started on Monday with a viewing of a PBS documentary The Ireland’s Wild Coast and it featured what they called the most beautiful coastlines in the world. It had some breathtaking photography of a chain of Man-free, wild islands with millions of nesting birds and ancient ruins that are surrounded by waters filled with breaching humbacks and other sea life. I’d love to see another video on how they filmed such amazing close-ups of hatching birds and mating animals. At one point one of the guys shouted out as two seals were mating, “This is my kind of movie” and I mumbled, “Oh gross, you’re into animal porn!"

Irish Happy Hour was my favorite happy hour so far but then I said the same about the Hawaiian Happy Hour. They served my all-time favorite alcoholic drink---Grasshoppers. Back in my dating days when someone would take me to a nice restaurant I always ordered a Grasshopper for dessert which is made with equal parts of ice cream, crème de menthe liqueur and crème de cacao liqueur served in a cocktail glass with dark chocolate power on the edge of the glass. I hear tell they mostly sell Grasshoppers as shooters today which hardly seems worth the effort to get the blender out. I was so hung up on Grasshoppers back in my day that I even made them at home. After awhile I narrowed it down to just the crème de menthe over ice cream and called it good enough. Anyway, the theme happy hours here are bringing back some great memories. Wouldn’t it be fun to be young again, especially if we knew how short-lived our carefree days would be before adult problems would take over our lives.

They also put on an Irish buffet with the best tasting, most tender corn beef I've ever had in my life. (My mom used to boil the flavor out of it and it still cut like leather.) And yesterday afternoon's entertainment was filled with live Irish music, a fiddle player who was really good and he sat in front of a large screen while drone footage of Ireland played in the background.

This week I also managed to run errands and I put more miles on my car that one day than I did in the entire month of February. That’s a fact verifiable by Google because they track me where ever I go in case I decide to take up the hobby of writing reviews of, say, the car wash I went to, the shoe store, the CPA’s office or the bottom of the river that I used to fear I’d end up in some icy winter day where I used to live. No river to fear down here and I managed to navigate the streets and traffic I’m not used to doing just fine. I’m going to take a page out of another blogger’s life (Living Richly in Retirement) and declare one day a week when I explore my new area. The jury is still out on whether I should get a GPS app. I usually just google where I’m going, then print out a map from point A to point B. I have a smart phone but it's maxed out on apps so getting a GPS presents a problem.

Tax Time: I get my income taxes done by a CPA and have for as far back as I can remember. It’s over-kill now that it’s just me and no businesses. But old habits are hard to break and the idea of doing my own taxes is not worth the worrying about making a mistake and going off to tax jail. Ya, I know, that’s not going to happen. We once knew a tax evader and it took seven years before the IRA came crashing down on him and, boy, did they come after him with literal guns blazing. Damn fool tried to hold off several law enforcement agencies in an armed attempt to hold on to a large farm with his underground bank of guns and ammo. Damn Fool could have sold off some acres to cover what he owed but instead he lost it all and earned himself prison sentence for his siege.

The inside of his house was a hoarder situation. A well organized hoard with one room dedicated to just post cards in filing cabinets so close together you could hardly walk down the aisles. At the time we saw the house I was trying to build a set of woman’s suffrage cards and had been at it for several years. I had just one card left to complete the series of 12 and the guy (one of Don’s work friends) invited us out to see the card. He had many duplicates of the exact card I needed but even offering him $200 for the 1909 Dunston Wellers postcard that, at the time, usually went for $100 wouldn’t get guy to part with one of his. 

After the siege everything he own was auctioned off for pennies on the dollar to pay his debts, losing a farm that had been in his family for four generations. He didn’t believe in paying any form of taxes; he had owed the county, state and federal governments back taxes years before they came prepared with a coordinated effort to haul him off. Oh, ya, I never get past tax time without remembering that crazy, old fool. ©

I did finally complete my set, framed them and now my suffragette postcards are hanging in my half bathroom. Their values have fallen in the past five years---thanks, Marie Kondo---but I still love the memories of hunting for them. (Sorry for the poor quality photo. The colors are bright like the ones at the top. I grabbed that picture off an auction site.)

38 comments:

  1. I'm like you--I have my taxes done by a CPA. Years ago, the IRS audited our filing and when I finished bringing in all of the receipts for deductions I didn't claim, they wound up owning us more money! We haven't been audited since!

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    1. We had the same thing happen. After the audit we got $7,000 back and that was decades ago so a lot of money. The CPA said we were audit proof the rest of our lives.

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  2. My goodness, do they ever keep you entertained there. All the holiday events and even happy hours. What is not to love? Hope you have fun exploring. I did that when I first moved here and called them my tank of gas days. Gas was a wee bit cheaper then though. That tax evader was a character. Doesn't sound too stable and good they got him away from his guns.

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    1. They only have Happy Hour for special occasions which I guess makes them more fun than if they had them every day.

      The tax evader had a screw loose. People he knew all tried to get him to work with tax people which they were willing do in the early years, but he was totally brainwashed into believing the crap put out by some tax resistor group. He had the ability to pay what he owed just by selling off some acreage he didn't use and his house was filled with hoards of good quality antiques he could have sold. He only hobby farmed part of the land what he owned.

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  3. What a fun way to celebrate St. Patrick's Day! I'm 1/4 Irish, and love the traditions. Glad they had paczkis for you. I remember the first time I ever tried them. A friend had a dozen with different fillings. I think I ate 3 and went into a sugar/starch stupor the rest of the day. But they are so delicious! Do you think they baked them on site? We have our taxes done by a trusted accountant, too. He's helped us for many years and we've never had a bump with the IRS. We've relied on him for financial advice over the years, too. Hubby is conservative but says our accountant is worth his weight in gold! When I read about the farmer who literally lost the farm due to unpaid taxes, it reminded me of a similar story of a farmer near where we used to live. He and his brother decided it was against their religion to pay taxes (not even kidding). Well, it caught up with them, and my heart broke for their kids. Those kids were the best, and they ultimately were the losers of the family farm. My husband used to say it wasn't against their religion to take advantage of all the services provided by taxpayers. This week, I wrote out the check to pay the extra taxes we owed, and I thought about all the benefits we enjoy because of tax dollars. Yes, there's mismanagement out there and all of us probably pay more than we'd like, but I'm still grateful for what those taxes provide. Love your collection of suffragette postcards--glad you were able to get the set! Have a good weekend, Jean!

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    1. They did make the paczkis on site and half of them had a lemonish cream like filing where all my life they've been fruit fillings. They had those too so I ended up with two.

      My husband's taxes were complicated with three sources of income and lots of equipment to depreciate. A good CPA really is worth their weight in Gold. A lot of the people around here are doing their own with the help of a program. It's probably pretty simple to plug the numbers in but I really don't want to do it.

      Like all collections part of the fun of having them is remember the hunt. Most I found at antique shops and paper shows. Back then we didn't have the internet to search. I had some duplicates that sold on eBay when I moved so there still is interest in them but not like there used to be.

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  4. Love your post cards and as always, love your posts.

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    1. Thanks, Vicki! Think of you guys often when I look back at the fun parts of my life.

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  5. You sure have lots to look forward to in your new home - events, happy hours, exploring. You have more energy than I have been feeling lately. Good for you!

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    1. If I really had energy I would be making better use of my time. Like last night I bailed on movie night to stay home and I pretty much waste my morning hours on the computer when I should be interacting in exercise classes. Although I just found out a cousin of my husband's died of a massive stroke yesterday and I just sat with her at the birthday party I attended a week or two ago. She walked several miles every day and had for years, did lots of yard work, was skinny and never ate sweets, drink or smoked and what good did it do her?

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  6. What a fool, indeed. I'm too pragmatic to not pay taxes. I like the suffragette postcards you have framed in your half bath. Very pretty and delightfully unique.

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    1. That's what I like about decorating with collectibles... they are so unique. I hate house with no personalities of its own.

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  7. That tax evader guy sounds like he might have been suffering from something like OCD. The way you described him sounded so much like my late husband - hoarder, can’t part with anything, thinks he can take on the government and run things to HIS rules not theirs, decisions make no sense etc. I was left with such a mess to clean up (a physical one as well as a paperwork one) when he died. He was already in trouble with the tax people before he got sick and I wondered how they could not suspect his mental illness. If they could, they didn’t show that they cared.

    Deb

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    1. Hoarding is a sickness, isn't it and so is being delusional enough to think you can take on the government. I do think they know people like this guy and your husband are mental ill but I don't about in Canada but here it takes a lot to force someone into a mental treatment if they don't want it and even if they do there aren't enough professional to deal with the need.

      I love how you were able to come through that chapter of your life so strong and am now enjoying the new life you're created for yourself.

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  8. I too love your suffragette postcards and now I want a framed set! The St. Pat's day celebrations sound fun and I haven't thought of grasshoppers in years.

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    1. Me neither and I used to love Grasshoppers. They made easy ones here using mint chocolate ice cream (the kind with the chocolate flakes) and just added the the liquor and made a huge pitcher in a blender all at one time.

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  9. My mother used to order a Grasshopper, a Pink Lady, or a Brandy Alexander when she and my dad were younger and would go out somewhere fancy. She only liked drinks in which she couldn't taste the alcohol. I've never had any of those; I prefer a martini if I'm not having wine.

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    1. We don't think of drinks going out of style but they do. I've never had a martini.

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  10. Ah ha! Grasshoppers for a Group!! Still sounds like a great dessert. I avoid buffets due to shellfish allergies as well .... once almost ate macaroni and cheese that looked AMAZING ... with lobster bits.

    I'm with you about my morning routine. Exercise classes should also be available in the afternoon. Just love hearing about your new digs!

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    1. Do you remember a while back when an anonymous commenter would poop nasty comments all over everyone's blogs telling us how evil Baby Boomers have been and how we're all all going to suffer in our old age. I think of that ass-breath every so often when I'm writing about how good my life is.

      They do have a few exercise classes in the afternoon.

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  11. Such fun! I too loved grasshoppers back in the day. And also Pink Squirrels! Happy memories. :-) And the suffragette postcards. Great collection. Isn't it great to get out and about? I'm glad you're finding driving around that area to be manageable. I knew you would. Are you game for coffee yet?

    As you know, we got a dog this week, and she is taking up a fair amount of our energy, but what a great pooch. DH was not interested in another dog, but (of course) he is in love and taking a big interest in training her, etc. She is very smart and has clearly been trained somewhat in the past. Just pushing the envelope to see what she can get away with. LOL. But already better behaved than our previous dog, who was well loved by totally nuts.

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    1. My youngest niece just got a new puppy too. And that puppy just fell into her lap, a gift from a couple that bought and realized they don't have time to properly train a dog. it will be so exciting to watch the first year of a puppy's life.

      We'll talk 'coffee' over on Facebook. I'm think more the first part of April.

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  12. Tim use to have his taxes done professionally back when he was working 3,4 or 5 different jobs, but the last couple of years he has done them himself.

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  13. It sounds as if you made a great choice of homes!

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  14. You and my mother! She loved grasshoppers, too, and just like you, she finally decided to go with the basics: ice cream with the liqueur poured over it. My favorite always was a White Russian: vodka, Kaluhua, and cream. I gave up hard liquor years ago, and mostly don't drink now, but a Salty Dog in summer, or a margarita with Mexican food go down pretty nicely!

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    1. One or two drinks a year that's been my style for the past 40 years. Now my drink of choice if I have liquor is hard cider. But that might change now that I can literally walk home from dinner. Now that ou name the ingredients I think I had a White Russian once. All those mixed drinks have more appeal to me that beer and wine.

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  15. I hear grasshoppers are coming back into style. A grasshopper was also my favorite drink in my dating years. Yum!

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    1. Funny that people can be dated by the drinks they like in their dating years. Shots are the big thing now.

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  16. I'm still waiting on those re-issued 1099R from the Military which they swore they were sending me and my CPA called again to see what's up... I'm getting very impatient that the Govt. is so neglectful about such important paperwork for their Disabled and Retired Veterans! Anyway, I too used to do my own Taxes but now I'm Old, even tho' I have less to do and just take Standard Deductions now, we have a CPA do them for us so as to not have risk of any mistakes and IRS Drama. How Trump has gotten away with not paying Taxes for over 15 Years is a Mystery to me, think of how much he owes and how much Tax and Bank Fraud he's done since the 1970's... yet the IRS constantly hassles the Little Guys for small amounts, go figure! Glad the St. Patrick's Day Event went so well, I liked Grasshoppers too, haven't had one for many years... don't really drink, never have much at all but in my Youthfully Curious days I did try some and liked Cocktails over Beers... especially the Liqueurs. My Mom had a Friend who worked for Bailey's and gave her the Recipe so at Christmas she'd make some, mostly for Friends since my Parents didn't drink either. I remember liking Pina Coladas and Amaretto Sours, tasty but I'm a Lightweight with any alcohol, so only ever could drink just one. I don't even know what the popular drinks are that are Trending now and a lot of the Old Time Drinks fell out of favor.

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    1. Where I live micro-brewed beer is is huge. Beer tastings has become a think like wine tasting. But my favorite tasting was a pie tasting.

      It's easier to go after the little guys because we don't have banks of lawyers to fight like Trump does. I'd love to see that tide change on him and I think it is.

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  17. I have never heard of suffragette cards. They look really interesting. I had an interesting box of postcards at one time. When my ex-MIL's mother passed away, she had a great collection and I took what I could. I pulled out about a dozen that had been sent from one family member to another. They used postcards a lot back then. She really enjoyed the gift and could remember many of the occasions discussed on the cards.

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    1. They are considered to be political postcards and there was more than one series. My husband's family sent a lot of postcards, too, and before the move I sold hundreds of them on eBay. We used to go to paper shows to find them. I kept ones related to oceanliners, canoes and Lake Michigan and of course, my suffragette cards. They are interesting decorating accents.

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  18. Well, as you might guess, those cards! Wow -- and a great story to go with them. I have a pretty big postcard collection but I've never seen the suffragettes. Love the framing!

    And the festivities of St. Paddy's day sound great. I think I'd love it all!

    PS -- if you're interested in behind the scenes on some Nature docs, check out this link: https://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/topic/behind-the-scenes/

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    1. Thank you for the link!!!!! Can't wait to check it out.

      Suffragette postcards, like all political cards, are/were highly collectable and are somewhat on the rare side, especially since the suffragettes weren't put out in large numbers like, say, the holiday postcards. I loved giving framed cards as gifts---single cards matted in a frame on a topic the person is interested in makes for a one-of-the-kind gift and insures the postcard will live on a few more years. I mark the back with info.

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  19. Definitely a lovely blog... Are those cards for or against suffrage for women? I couldn't be sure

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