Big Parties in the Post-Trump, Post-Covid Era

One of my great-nieces on my husband’s side of the family is having a large surprise, 70th  birthday party at a pricey venue for her mom who adored my husband and who was always lots of fun to socialize with. Don used to be Amy’s and her two brother’s babysitter back before I entered the picture, and her parents hosted most of the many family parties after we became a couple. Because of the pandemic and her having some serious heath issues I haven’t seen Amy in nearly two years. We’ve talked on the phone but, of course, that isn’t the same.

 

Don was brought up on a farm where the work never stopped. There were always cows that needed milking, fields to plow, crops to bring in, machinery to fix and fences to mend. There came a point, after the farm was lost to a tornado that his brother needed a part time babysitter and Don was drafted. Never having had much time for fun when he was kid, my husband became the good time uncle, always in for playing games, going to the beach, to county parks or taking those kids for rides in his yellow convertible. And this playful relationship with Amy never stopped. At family parties the teasing and jokes were always flying back and forth and Amy never failed to tell us that she loved us…even to this day she ends all her phone calls with those three little words. She’s one of the easiest people in the world to love back. Always upbeat with a self-depreciating sense of humor even when she’s rattled and being perpetually rattled is one of her most endearing qualities.

 

With the boys, they had the same relationship with Don. They were close and the oldest even lived with my husband at one point in time. At parties the jokes, teasing and swapping stories were always on tap. None of us ever had a cross word or falling out until Trump came along when the oldest and his wife both unfriended me on Facebook. Last I heard he and his wife were also anti-vaccers which made the decision to go to this party doubly difficult.

 

I’ve never had anyone since high school call me ‘stupid’ until Trump came along and these two did it multiple times. Why? Because I (respectfully) pointed out falsehoods when Old Nephew and his wife were posting daily support for Trump’s Big-I-won-the-Election-Lie. For example once they ranted on about how that no one ever investigated voter fraud after the election and I posted an in depth article outlining the 60-something cases that Trump's legal team brought to court all across the country and were dismissed for lack of evidence. I never posted anything without backing it up with a creditable source. But I was the stupid one for not seeing that the media was "making that shit up." Lesson learned. Note to Self: I was stupid for thinking brain-washed people could be deprogrammed with easily proven facts. 

 

I seriously thought about not going to this party and feared walking into it because of the way these two treated me on Facebook before they unfriended me combined with Covid concerns. But our county Covid numbers have been low recently so going or not became more about facing the potential of getting or giving the cold shoulder. Never in my entire life have I been in a situation like this. Finally, I decided to go and just act like the unfriending never happened, be as warm and open in greeting them as I've always been in the past and let THEM set the tone for what happens after. If they avoid me so be it, if they make any kind of remark about politics I plan to smile and say, “We’ll have to agree to disagree” and then walk away. Life is too short to be baited into discord at a family party when there won’t be many opportunities for me to see this side of the family in mass in the future. The graduations, weddings, baby showers are all behind us and only one person is left in the older generation to have a memorial service for.

 

Added After the Party: Old Nephew and his wife must have had the same game plan for running into me as I had for running into them. They saw me before I saw them and they went out of their way to greet and hug me with genuine warmth and friendliness, even invited me to sit at their table (which I didn’t do because I'd already had a place with others) but we stood and talked for probably fifteen minutes catching up on each other’s lives. 

 

They’d both caught Covid and she spent two weeks in the hospital at death’s door and now they tell everyone to get the vaccinated. Scared the crap out of them both to learn the virus was real. At least nine people at the party also had Covid and one of my favorite nieces-by-marriage was at home in quarantine… all of which was scary since it was the first big event I’ve been to in two years and no one was wearing a mask. (Our state dropped that mandate recently.) Everyone was hugging each other because it a huggy-kind of family and we were all so happy to be together again. Germaphobic me could have done without the hugs but I'll breathe easier about them at the end of the week if I'm still feeling well.  

 

Amy’s daughter hired an Elvis impersonator who was super good and he had the crowd dancing and singing and laughing. It was good to have so much fun with old connections and to see the fences that were broken by the Trump train got mended as if by magic.  ©

 

His name is Ron Short and he did an Elvis act for 7-8 years in Hawaii at one of the hotels. Not sure what he was doing in my area but he was good.