Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, April 17, 2021

The Travel Journal Filled with Unforgettable Details

 


I wish I could remember how many years we owned a motor home. Less than ten, more than five is my closest guess-imate. We took it on several trips to the Deep South to visit friends, to Texas to a Romance Writer’s Convention and to Iowa, Pennsylvania and Tennessee to many gas station collector’s conventions. We also used it on day trips along Lake Michigan and on camping trips upstate a couple of times. When we traveled Out West, our most frequent destination, we took a pickup truck, leaving the RV home because my husband loved hanging out in the Rocky Mountains on the two tracks they called 'roads' back in those days.

For some of the years we had the motor home I kept a travel journal and yesterday I read through it with the end game in mind of putting it through the shredder afterward. When I finished the last page I decided it was the most boring travel journal ever written and I won’t have any trouble getting rid of it. I hope. It’s still sitting on my computer desk where I used it to pull a few quotes out of it to use as blog fodder. Those of us who keep blogs know how hard it's been to come up topics to write about during the pandemic and while my travel journal isn't insightful or as entertaining as John Steinbeck's Traveling with Charley who wrote about searching for America with his French Poodle as his companion, it's better than reading labels at the supermarket. I used to love doing that, by the way, but with the pandemic we're not encouraged to stick around inside the store any longer than necessary or to touch stuff we're not going to buy. And if you don't know it by now, I follow the Rules of life so don't expect a blog post about the most interesting food labels in aisle eight. Damn pandemic!

In May of 1993 I wrote in the travel journal: Here at Motel Walmart in Fayetteville, TN, Cooper (our dog at the time) thinks he’s died and went to heaven. They’re having a sidewalk sale and every time they call out over the loud speakers “Sidewalk Sale Today!” he only hears the word “walk” which is his favorite word in the English language. As for us, Motel Walmart was noisy last night with our own private security guards chi-chatting on their two-way radios as they watched over the merchandise that employees dragged outside at closing. At 3:00 AM I learned that one of them has an Aunt Betty with a bunion which I related to Don in the morning since he could sleep through anything. (We often stayed overnight in the parking lots of Walmart which wasn’t uncommon for RV travelers back in those days.)

June 5, 1994: We got on the road early with no coffee, no breakfast and me begging Don to get a map and some gas so we didn’t get stranded in the middle of nowhere because we were off to chase another unicorn. On a back road off the interstate---interstates, according to Don, are for people with no adventure in their souls---we stopped at a fruit and produce stand where he claimed the bearded old man wouldn’t give him directions unless he bought a watermelon. Cooper was happy to see it get plunked down on the floor of the motor home. He had a lot fun trying to hump and wrestle the last melon as it rolled back and forth. The old man’s directions were good, though, and we were able to find our destination---a tiny, over-grown and deserted gas station from the good old days of one pump and a Coke-Cola machine out front. It had one of those old screen doors that squeaked when it was opened and it slammed shut with a thud on your way out. It was nailed closed so we couldn't listen for those sounds of our youth. Where is the logic of nailing shut a screen door? If you wanted to break in you could just rip the screen. Don was in photography heaven and I was wishing it was 50 years ago so we could have bought some gas and a bottle of pop, maybe a bag of chips and called it breakfast.

August 15, 1997: This is the year of Don’s fuck-ups. Everything was going fine, great weather and we had lots of time compared to other years headed out to the Iowa Gas convention. Then Don got stubborn about the high cost of gas at the truck stop and that’s when we discovered how few (if any) stations there are between the truck stop and Moline. It was nerve racking on 80 with traffic down to one lane. Getting off the highway, we got lost looking for a station, adding drama we didn’t need---especially since we discovered on this trip that the motor home doesn’t start when it gets over-heated. When we finally found a gas station we had to put 29.30 gallons in our 30 gallon tank. After getting back on the road we developed two bad tires on the driver’s side and we are now sitting in South Amana where we’re waiting for two new tires to get delivered to a Country Bumpkin Gas Station with a one bay service garage. We’re calling this our ‘Grapes of Wrath’ trip.

September 10, 1998: We stayed in a $44 a night Motel 8 in Georgetown north of Lexington, KY. It was okay, no frills but clean and quiet. It was worth it just for the hot showers after three days of sponge baths in the motor home. We ate at a place called “Golden Girls” around mile marker 116 which was great. At least I loved my pork. Don had a t-bone. The national news last night was filled with Ken Starr and the report he just turned over to the House for possible impeachment hearings against Bill Clinton supposedly for perjury, obstruction of justice, witness-tampering and abuse of power.

And probably the most boring travel entry into the journal was the day I wrote: We planned to leave town at noon, but as usual with our trips, we were late. It was 3:00 before we headed up north for a long weekend at the Buckley Steam Engine Show, which they say is the largest show of its kind in the world with 50 thousand plus people going through their gates each of the four days its open. We took our time getting there. 1st stop: gas $24.82. 2nd stop: yard sale in Bailey where I picked up another Sterling diner dish. 3rd stop: the Trade-a-Rama in Grant where we bought two jars of Vidalia onions for $6.00. Around White Cloud Cooper, Don and I sang a couple of versus of All My ex’s Live in Texas. You know Don has reset his body clock to Vacation Time when he and the dog start singing duets. Do we know how to have a good time, or what! ©

All my ex's live in Texas
And Texas is the place I'd dearly love to be
But all my ex's live in Texas
And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee
 
Photo Note: The photo at the top is not our motor home but it’s close. We had an awning on ours. Below is my favorite travel photo. That's Cooper greeting Punxsutawney Phil. Cooper was fascinated by that statue's butt. He probably thought his nose was broken because he couldn't smell anything. That photo wasn't staged, by the way. He was a great traveler. He took his first trip in the motor home when he was eight weeks old and he played in a dishpan of water all the way from Michigan to Iowa. On the way home we stopped at a beach on Lake Michigan, thinking if he liked splashing water in a pan that he'd love the waves on the big lake but he was scared of them. He had more sense than we did. He didn't even weigh five pounds back then and the undertow would have killed him had he waded in. 


41 comments:

  1. Cooper is priceless! My daughter and son-in-law took their pups to Lake Michigan once. One of the pups ran into the water, then right back out into Kaitlin's arms. It was cold! She never tried that again.

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    1. Of all the dogs we've had over the years, Cooper had the strongest personality. He and my husband were inseparable when it was play time. I was on duty for everything else.

      Funny how some dogs just love Lake Michigan and others don't.

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  2. Tucked into the middle of your post, the mention of the Buckley steam engine show really evoked some memories. When I was a kid, we rarely missed the Old Threshers' Reunion in Iowa. I loved wandering among that old machinery, but not nearly as much as my dad did. Mom would tag along, but she never was as enthralled as we were.

    Speaking of memories, I remember the year the opened the stretch of Interstate 80 from Des Moines to Iowa City. Our new house was on the edge of town, and not so far from the interstate. After they opened it, I'd sit on the front steps and listen. If the wind was from the south, or if it was a quiet evening, I could hear the trucks whining down the highway, and dreamed of the day I could get on that road and travel, too. Finally, I did, and even though I tend toward country roads when I'm in pursuit of flowers, there's still something about an interstate in a relatively empty state (like Kansas or west Texas) that I love. I even have my own travel song that I love to play on the road. Windows down, volume up!

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    1. Your travel song is great! My husband had a cassette of 'travel songs' he always played when we'd set off for a trip.

      Thresher clubs take their shows, tracker pulls and demonstrations seriously and they are interesting to watch. I wonder if they still draw the big crowds, not that fewer city people have their roots in farming like they did back when we were going. (My husband grew up on a farm.)

      I don't know how highway 80 looks in recent years but when we were going just seeing so much open country was relaxing and mellowed us out.

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  3. Such fun memories for you. What kind of dog was Cooper?

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    1. He was a poodle. When we got him he was SO cute, a party mix but after his first haircut he was beige and that was a shock. Didn't know back then that would happen. LOL I had three poodles and the one schnauzer spread out in my adult life.

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  4. It takes a certain kind of person to go road-tripping in an RV, and I definitely know that I am NOT that kind of person.

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    1. It's good to know yourself. I am not a person who likes to get on airplanes and stay in hotels. Hate that kind of travel.

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  5. Your travel journal may have received a boring, going to the shredder rating but your blog post is great. The great middle of the country certainly holds lots of off beat interesting places and scenery. Cooper was a cutie.

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    1. We ran into so many interesting people and stories when we traveled. And my husband was so good at remembering them and retelling the tales of our adventures on the road. Cooper had a personality like no other but all his cuteness left him with his first hair cut.

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  6. So glad you kept journals of the travels. Might be hard put to come up with details today without one. The fun facts about Aunt Betty's bunion and Cooper's romance with a watermelon could have been lost forever:) Loved Cooper and Phil. He does look a little confused at the lack of smell.

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    1. We laughed so hard a Cooper that day in Punxsutawney, PA. He really was confused.

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  7. We had our "vacation from hell" when we drove from Illinois to Hilton Head, SC and our van broke down in Kentucky. We had to leave the van there for repair and rent a station wagon to fit our 5 children and our luggage (we had to leave of bunch of stuff behind in the van as we couldn't fit it all). We were exhausted by the time we got to SC and the kids decided they were afraid of the ocean (one got pinched by a crab so the rest ran out and would never go back). It was a week of one thing after another and then we had to drive all the way back to Kentucky to get our van and make it home. A memorable vacation for all of the wrong reasons!

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    1. I guess we've all have vacations where everything goes wrong. Wouldn't want to break down with a lot of kids in the car. LOL

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    2. Our infamous family RV trip found us trapped in Salt Lake City for a couple days while the RV was repaired. There was a fair amount to see. None of us were converted, but it wasn't for lack of trying by the locals. ;-)

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    3. Oh. My. Gosh. You'd have to be in the right frame of mind to be stranded there.

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  8. Your travel diary entries are hilarious...love them! Makes me want to dig out some old journals I've been planning to throw out and see what nuggets I can find to entertain myself.

    Our family RV saga is forever referred to as the "Great Winnebago Hostage Crisis." We drove (my then husband, our three kids, my parents and my young adult brother and sister) to the W. Coast, down to Vegas, back through Colorado and the Midwest and home. It was during the Iran Hostage Crisis, thus the name. But it was apt. And we still talk about it. Funny/not funny. Too many people in an RV no matter the size.

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    1. Traveling with other people in the RV with us was never easy. Unless you were in the front, the seating was uncomfortable and you got seasick. And lets not mention knowing each other's business in the bathroom.

      I'll bet after all these years your travel diary would be very entertaining, especially since you can read between the lines.

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  9. You might think your camping journal isn't exciting, but I love to hear people's stories about their adventures! My mom and dad were avid campers. They bought their first one (a foreclosed Winnebago in their bank's parking lot), and it was all over but the shouting. They upgraded every five years, or so, and they loved the people they met at campgrounds. They actually made some long-lasting friendships while camping. When they got up in years and frail, they sold the camper. That was sure a sad time. One of my favorite stories they told was driving on an interstate when a big storm came up. Dad was driving. Mom saw their awning blow off behind them and it landed between the lanes of traffic. They were actually able to backtrack and retrieve that awning, unharmed other than a few scratches. My husband and I never took up camping because we're both a bit claustrophobic, but our kids love to camp, and I think it's a great hobby. Thanks for your stories! You've sure had cute pups!!

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    1. The people in campgrounds is what makes camping so much fun. We started out with a cap on a pick up truck, then we had a tent for a lot of years and then the motor home.

      Your parents losing that awning could have turned out terrible, if it had hit a car. Give me chills!

      We did have dogs who all had great personalities and so different from one another.

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  10. You've been adventurous your whole life!!! Thanks for sharing these funnies! A friend has a motor home that is all one vehicle ... and they go cross country every year as well as California to Arizona several times a year. I long for one ....

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    1. I am far from adventurous. You've been on far more adventurous vacations that I'd even think of going on. I didn't even liked driving our motor home and only did it on interstates between rest stops. My husband liked driving big stuff and was Army certificated to drive their biggest pieces of equipment.

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  11. Those Forgettable Details may be the things you end up cherishing most tho', I wouldn't be hasty in throwing away the Travel Journal. I found the Stories to be the kinds of things I like to recall of Trips and faux pas of many times spent together over the Years. They still do have RV peeps in the Wal-Mart Parking Lots around here, I'm sure the ones in Da Hood especially have lots of things the Tourists experience and overhear that will be Blog Fodder and Tales to regale Friends and Family with later. *LOL* And now I have this visual of your Travel Pup humping a Watermelon... hilarious.

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    1. The only problem we ever had at a Motel Walmart was a bat getting in our pickup's cap. Don slept through the whole thing will the dog raced back and forth on top of him chasing the bat.

      That watermelon was twice Cooper's size and it really did keep him entertained. He was a OCD dog.

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  12. You might label your travel journal boring, but look at the comments this blog has evoked! I joined others who enjoyed reading about a few episodes from that trip. We've been in the midst of making stay-or-sell decisions about our home on an acre in Central Texas. Staying will require remodeling a bathroom to include a no-threshold shower. As part of the decision-making process, we're culling possessions to make it easier to sell, if that should be our decision. I came across a whole tub of old manuscripts, some from books never published, and some proofs sent to me by my publishers for final editing. I've been scanning, saving, and then shredding most of the manuscripts. Maybe you might want to scan your journals onto a thumb drive? While scanning the manuscripts, I encountered a journal I'd written in the year after I was diagnosed with the pre-menopausal breast cancer that struck so many women in our family and killed my mother on her 45th birthday, necessitating some drastic decisions on my part. That journal will need to be shredded because among the details about recovery from bilateral mastectomies and reconstruction surgeries and mundane recounting of family life, many details relating to my children were discussed in that journal. I plan to read it one more time. It sits beside me now, but I haven't yet been able to read it. Letting go is cleansing, isn't it, but it's wrenching, too.

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    1. Deciding to stay or make your home more aging-in-place friendly is a hard decision. My house isn't the problem, it's the isolation of living among young working couples and on an end of town that makes it hard for my family and I to get together.

      It's a hard decision also to shred something like your cancer diary. The only comparable thing I have are the journals I kept for my dad's stay in Hospice and then my husband's stay in a brain trauma hospital. Letting go of them wasn't cleansing for me. I thought there was value in them to help others but for me to make them into a format for public consumption I would have had to relive those hard parts of my life. I did shred them but I'm still not sure it was the right decision at the right time for ME.

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    2. I may decide to do the same, but there's no easy decision, is there?

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  13. I didn't find this boring at all, Jean! Most entertaining, as all your posts are! Thanks for sharing,

    Deb

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    1. Awe, thanks but I think the pandemic has lowered all our thresholds for what is boring or not.

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  14. love how your post today evoked other people's memories - both: good/and no so good.
    I follow an number of American RVers on uTube and Walmart parking lots are still the place to sleepover...plus other places like truck stops
    (We don't have that chain store in New Zealand)

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    1. I'm glad to know some things never change...like parking in Walmart lots and truck stops. We used to use truck stops, too. They felt safer but they were not as quiet as the Walmart lots.

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  15. I think Travels with Charley had nothing on Travels with Cooper! That dog sounds like a real character!

    Before you toss that diary or others into the shredder I want to tell you a story (part of which is a future blog post). For years, there was a box in the basement I'd moved with me and I had no idea what it was. When I opened it, it was my grandmother's diaries. I cannot tell you how they added to our family history -- not so much in juicy details but in the minutiae of life in another time. I've been on the edge of being rid of mine (a basement flood helped out a few years ago, but I still have some). I'm rethinking that. We edit our lives and maybe we should. Or maybe we shouldn't. Just think about it before pitching or pass on to family. They may find them fascinating. (You can always tear out a page or ten!)

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    1. I have sat down to do a "final" read through before getting rid of my diaries at least three times now and every time I change my mind. This time, I decided that after I move I'll have all the time in the world to go through and edit out the stuff that show the "minutiae of life in another time" and get rid of the rest. I would love to put all the good parts in one book with photos added. But I also love the handwritten quality of old diaries.

      Cooper was a character. He and Levi had a blog together with all their best stories. Think it's still linked on my 'Memories' page at the top, if anyone is into dog stories.

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  16. I like your entry about Cooper. What a fun thing to remember about your dog. As for hanging onto old diaries and morning pages [writing exercises] and notebooks filled with writing ideas, I've shredded mine. I feel lighter because of it. Weird how I kept them for so long though.

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    1. If I had notebooks ideas of writing ideas I would feel lighter if I shredded them, too,\ because they'd make me feel badly for not carrying through and doing something with them. Diaries and journal on the other hand are memory ques which is a different ball of wax all together.

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  17. I keep hanging on to even my most boring journals -- and embarrassingly self-pitying ones as well. They all tell a story, but likely only one I alone can appreciate. LOL One day I need to ditch them to spare my heirs.

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    1. I know exactly what you mean and I really struggle with destroying my journals. I have sat down several times to do it and backed out. Now I'm thinking of moving them with me. I'll have lots of time then to make a project out of editing out the parts I want to keep and ditch the rest. Maybe add photos and print a book for myself only.

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  18. Your experiences make for intriguing memories. When I was young, pre-teen, we lived in a little Trotwood Trailer for six months traveling across the country with 2 dogs — one, the only dog I never liked. Lots of interesting experiences and people we met in trailer parks including carnival gypsies at one point. Mom told me later she feared they might kidnap me since they liked my red hair so much.

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  19. Not boring! The foibles of RVing are entertaining. The mention of Ken Starr brought back a flood of memories. Keep them and go through them when you have more time. I love the roll top desk, it's unfortunate that it can't go with you. Just beautiful.

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    1. Thank you. The Clinton impeachment almost seems quaint compared with most recent impeachment trial.

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  20. I think the idea that it's better to risk running out of gas than to pay an extra 2 cents a gallon is somehow linked to the Y chromosome. Once, when my father was about eighty and, because of some medical issues, he could no longer drive long distances safely, I was driving he and my mother (in their car) from south-central Pennsylvania to their home in Massachusetts. (From there, I would fly back to PA.) We were on some two-lane back road that was my father's preferred route, and because we were in a water shed, we hadn't seen a gas station in many miles. It was after dark, and I was simultaneously watching the gas gauge, leaning forward and holding my breathe on the uphills, and noting the odometer reading every time we passed a house with lights on, in case I had to walk back there to phone for help when we ran out of gas. Finally, we came to a major intersection with a gas station, and with a big sigh of relief, I got ready to turn in. Of course, since this was the only gas station for miles around, and we probably weren't the first people limping into it on fumes, they charged a bit of a premium. As I turned on my directional signal, my father looked at the posted price and said, "Keep going!" I dug in my heels, told him we were going to stop and get $5 worth of gas to get us home, and that if we saw another gas station with gas 10 cents a gallon less, I would pay him back the quarter! My mother and I laughed about that incident until the day she died.

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